Chapter 353 - 353 – A Mother's Love
Gravis entered the room and saw his mother directly standing in front of the door with a smile. She wore a comfortable white robe that gave her a graceful aura. Her white hair swayed in a nonexistent ethereal breeze. It was almost like her hair was underwater.
"Welcome back, Gravis," she said as she directly hugged him.
Gravis wasn’t surprised that she already knew that he was back. After all, the Opposer’s wife also had to be powerful. Gravis quickly returned the hug, and he felt some warmth coursing inside of him. He had always been pretty close to his mother. Sadly, she wasn’t involved much in his cultivation.
"I’m home, mom," Gravis said. "I missed you."
"I missed you too," she said softly as she embraced him. A mother’s love was generally more direct than a father’s love, and Gravis was really happy about that. The only people he could get close to without having to worry about Heaven were his mother and father.
Joyce, Skye, and all his other friends could die at any moment. None of them were safe. Even if Heaven wanted to increase their power to use them against him in the future, it only increased their Karmic Luck. Even with Karmic Luck, people could still die. After all, every person that Gravis had ever killed had more Karmic Luck than him.
Yet, that didn’t hold true for his father and mother. His mother was powerful and was also protected by his father. As long as the highest Heaven didn’t manage to kill his father, his mother would also be safe, and if his father died, Gravis would probably also die very quickly. Without his father, there wouldn’t be anyone to stop the highest Heaven from just directly annihilating him.
Because of this, he could forget all his worries as he hugged his mother. The fear of the emotional backlash when someone died wasn’t there when he was with his parents. Like this, he could ultimately lower his emotional guard.
Though controlling one’s emotions was hard. Even though he hugged his mother, he only felt some warmth course through him. Before he had left for the lower world, he had felt happy by her side. Sadly, this feeling of warmth had reduced, even though Gravis didn’t want that.
Gravis felt a little guilty when his emotional response to his mother wasn’t as strong as it used to be. It almost felt like his love for her had lessened. This caused him some distress.
"You’re a man now, Gravis," his mother said.
Gravis slightly nodded. "Mhm," he hummed.
"Look at you," she said in happiness as she broke the hug to look at him. "Your hair color and eyes have changed. You also have a more manly and adult aura now."
She pinched Gravis’ cheeks. "The girls must be going crazy for you," she said with a smirk and moved a hand through her hair. "Girls like exotic hair colors."
"Mom," Gravis said with indignance and some embarrassment. "I don’t want to start a relationship yet."
His mother raised an eyebrow but still smiled. "Why not?"
Gravis sighed. "Because the chance is too high that my significant other would die."
"So?" she asked.
Gravis shook his head a bit in confusion. "What do you mean with so? Don’t you understand?" he asked.
His mother slowly shook her head with a smile. "We all die. At some point, your father and I will also die. Shutting yourself away from the feeling of love just because you fear their eventual death is nonsense. What of all the mortals? They have a way shorter life, yet they still love."
Gravis released a sigh. "It’s different for mortals," he said.
"No, it isn’t," she said back, placing her hands on his shoulders. "Mortals have an even more fragile life than cultivators. Bandits, wild beasts, disease, cultivators, wars, battle, famine, and many other things can kill them or their loved ones at any time. If everyone were afraid of the pain that much, we wouldn’t have any more humans."
"Yes, you’re right, but I’m not required to have a child," Gravis explained.
"Hmmm," his mother hummed while tapping her chin with her slender and long fingers. "That’s true," she said, "but people don’t get into relationships because they need to make children. They do it because they love each other," his mother explained.
Gravis released a shaky sigh. "And what do I get out of love?" he asked.
His mother shook her head and walked over to her bed to sit down. Then, she patted her lap for him to sit down.
When Gravis saw that, he felt more embarrassed. Sometimes, he thought that his mother got a little too carried away in her role. "Mom, I’m bigger and heavier than you," he said.
"Oh, come on," she said with a pout. "You were always happy when you could sit in my lap."
"Yeah, when I was like ten. I’m 22 now," he said unamused.
His mother shook her head again.
Whoop!
Gravis reappeared on the bed without him noticing. In no time, he saw himself laying on his back, his head on his mother’s lap. Gravis immediately wanted to shoot up out of embarrassment, but his mother slowly pushed his head back down.
"Hey, no one’s watching. You don’t need to act all tough and prideful in front of me. I’m your mother, and if you don’t want to do it for yourself, do it for me, okay?" she said slowly.
Gravis released a sigh but let his head lay on her lap.
"Look at how dirty your hair is. Aren’t cultivators supposed to be clean?" she said with mock frustration as she went through his hair with her fingers.
Gravis wasn’t sure what she was talking about. "My hair isn’t dirty," he said.
His mother sighed helplessly. "You might not notice, but other girls will. It’s not just dirt that makes something dirty. You have knots in your hair, and it has grown wild without any reason or pattern. It just looks like you didn’t touch your hair in forever," she said, criticizing his hair.
Gravis thought back as his mother was fixing his hair. "I think I’ve never touched my new hair before."
"Pff," his mother snorted, "no wonder it’s this messy! I’m going to fix it in no time!" she said with a motivated smile.
Gravis sighed again. "What’s the point of that? Looking good doesn’t really help me in my journey," he said.
His mother shook her head again. "It might not, but it feels good to look good. It has something to do with self-confidence and having self-respect. After all, it’s your body, and it’s a part of you. You might pride yourself in your smarts and your will, but why not also pride yourself in your body?"
"Well, my smarts and will help me in cultivation. Looking good doesn’t help," Gravis said.
"And what’s the goal of your cultivation?" she asked, still fixing his hair. She snipped off a lot of hair with her fingernails. A scissor or blade wasn’t necessary. As someone in the Unity Realm, Gravis’ hair was powerful enough that a single strand could lift many tons, but his mother had no issue in clipping it.
"To gain freedom," Gravis answered. After putting away his embarrassment, he started to feel way calmer. There was something inside of him that radiated a calm energy, like the gentle waves of a lake.
"And what do you get from freedom?" she asked.
Gravis furrowed his brows. Wasn’t freedom the reward in and of itself? "I don’t get what you mean," he said.
"I’m asking what you’re getting out of freedom. Why do you want freedom?" she asked again.
"Because I don’t want my loved ones or myself to die," he said.
"But if you don’t have loved ones, except for your father and me, of course, what’s the point of freedom?" she asked with a smile.
Gravis furrowed his brows a bit. "When I have freedom, I can search for people that I care about," he said.
His mother sighed. "Yes, but will you find them?" she asked.
For some reason, Gravis felt a bit nervous. "What do you mean?"
His mother looked a bit sadder now. "When you have lived thousands, millions, or billions of years alone, will you still be able to feel love? At that point, you will still know the concept of love, but can you actually feel love?"
Gravis’ insides shook a bit. Was that a possibility?
"I also noticed your reaction when we hugged," his mother said, making Gravis feel nervous. "Even after not seeing me for six years, you were still happy to see me, but you also felt more distant. It was almost like I was a stranger to you," she said. By now, she had fixed his hair and just caressed his forehead.
"I’m sorry, mom," Gravis said with a shaky voice.
"Hey, don’t worry," she said, "I understand. You haven’t seen me for six years, so, of course, you’ll feel estranged. It’s normal. But that’s what I’m trying to show you. You already feel estranged after only six years. How will you feel after thousands?" she asked.
Gravis wasn’t sure how to answer.
"If you don’t want your goal to feel empty and pointless, you need to learn how to love again. Imagine the time when Heaven dies, and you’re finally free. What then? What will you do then?" she asked.
Gravis’ thought about this for a while, but it was very difficult to find an answer.
"I don’t know," he said.