Chapter 320 - 320 – Talk
Manuel fought against the three enemies in quite an impressive manner. Sure enough, he was the most powerful one in the group. He was not only using his attacks as attacks but also as distractions and feints.
His fighting style was different from Gravis’ but nearly as effective. Maybe his fighting style was even better for him. After all, he had a different element with different strengths and weaknesses. Nero had also shown a different fighting style that had worked very well.
When Gravis saw that, he rubbed his chin in thought. ’My fighting style might be the best one for Destruction Lightning, but maybe not the best one for other elements,’ he realized. The others learned from him, but he also learned from the others.
"Hey, how can I find you in the higher world?" Joyce suddenly asked Gravis while Manuel was still fighting.
Gravis turned to Joyce and sighed. He had already realized that she was romantically interested in him. Sadly, he couldn’t accept that. He had already told her the possibility of Heaven using his loved ones to force him to stop cultivating. She should know that Gravis couldn’t risk entering a romantic relationship due to that.
"I won’t enter your higher world," Gravis said, surprising Joyce.
"You won’t? You can choose which world you go to?" she asked.
Gravis nodded. "Others might not, but I have the ability to choose my world. I have already learned enough about the elements, and my core-path is set. Remaining in elemental worlds would not allow me to see a wider horizon."
Joyce looked with complicated sadness at Gravis. She was very interested in Gravis, but she also knew that Gravis would never accept a confession from her side. Just like Gravis knew that she was interested in him, she knew that Gravis wouldn’t accept her.
It wasn’t that Gravis didn’t feel anything for Joyce. Actually, the complete opposite was true. If he didn’t have any feelings for her, he wouldn’t be so careful with her. If he had no interest in her, it would go down similarly as with the twins. Gravis would just say no, and everything would be done.
Yet, Gravis was a bit afraid about the eventual time when Joyce would directly confess her love. He really didn’t want to enter this situation.
"You know," Joyce said after a minute. "I know that you will leave us very soon. I also know that there is basically no chance of us ever meeting again. I know all that, yet I still talk and try to get close to you. Do you know why?" she asked.
Gravis didn’t answer.
"It’s because we only have a limited time together," Joyce said. "I want to make the best of our limited time before you leave. Yes, the parting will be painful, but I think I would regret it more if I didn’t spend these couple of years with you."
Gravis’ insides shook a little, but he didn’t show anything outside. "What of your path forward? Are you not afraid of stopping because of these feelings?" he asked.
Joyce shook her head with a gentle smile. "Something like this won’t stop my path. Yes, I will cry for a long time, but after that, the world looks different. That’s what we call grieving. You feel incredible pain for a couple of days, but then you accept the situation. My path won’t be stopped that easily. What about you? Is your path stopped that easily?"
Gravis remained silent, but deep inside, some kind of pain appeared. Grieving? The last time that happened had been with Gorn. Ever since then, no matter who died, Gravis never grieved. He just swallowed all the emotions and told himself that he was cold and didn’t feel for anyone else. Yet, was that true?
Gravis quickly shook his head. Now was not the time to come clean with his emotions. He was still inside the Heaven’s Trial, and the fifth trial would probably be another really dangerous one for him. He would have all the time to come clean with his emotions when he returned to his homeworld.
Joyce saw that Gravis didn’t answer. Normally, Gravis would say something along the lines of that his goal was most important and nothing else mattered. Yet, Gravis remained silent. For the first time, Gravis didn’t appear like the all-powerful, always decisive kind. Now, he was showing uncertainty.
Joyce, who was very in tune with her emotions, had some tears come out of her eyes because of Gravis. "Why?" she asked slowly. "Why are you so uncertain of your path as soon as emotions come into play?"
Manuel’s fight had been entirely forgotten by the two of them by now. Gravis was not sure how he should explain the situation. He wasn’t even completely sure if he understood his own emotions right now. "I don’t know," Gravis said.
Joyce, who had way more experience with emotions than Gravis, looked at him with pity and hurt. Gravis remained even, while Joyce looked hurt. It was almost like she was feeling Gravis’ pain for him. "You’re actually hurting deep inside, aren’t you?" she asked warmly, taking Gravis’ hand into her own.
When Gravis heard that, he pulled his hand away involuntarily. Joyce didn’t feel bad for herself, but for the pain that Gravis was suppressing. Many more things made sense now.
Gravis wasn’t acting cold because he didn’t care about others, but acting cold was the only way for him to not get hurt. Humans were not unthinking machines. Sure, there would be some humans that genuinely didn’t feel for others, but Gravis wasn’t such a person.
She understood that the shy boy she had met back in the Hunting Guild was just an innocent kid. Afraid of going through the pain of more close ones dying, that kid shut itself away from the outside. It built a wall so that no one could come close.
"But why? Why suppress all the pain? Why don’t you just accept it? I swear, it will be better after that," she said.
Gravis was entirely out of his element here. In terms of fighting, intelligence, and many other things, he was at the forefront, but he was inexperienced when it came to his emotions. "Maybe, maybe not. Honestly, I don’t know, but I don’t have time for that right now. I will deal with all of this when I return to my homeworld."
Joyce didn’t wholly agree with that answer, but she could understand. "I understand, but please, go through with this. You might not notice it, but I think by suppressing it, you feel worse than if you just accept the pain."
Gravis sighed again. "I don’t like running from my problems, but I honestly think that it’s the best for now. My foundation is too unstable right now." Then, Gravis looked at the ceiling with narrowed eyes. "First, I need to finish my fight. Then, I can think about it."
Joyce still felt for Gravis, but she retreated. Maybe it was for the best right now.
"So, what did you think?" Manuel said as he walked to the two of them.
Gravis and Joyce looked at him and then remembered that he had been fighting all this time. "Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention," Gravis said.
Manuel frowned a bit, but he noticed the weird atmosphere between Joyce and Gravis. He knew that something had happened. Manuel could only sigh. ’Here, I wanted to appear impressive, but they didn’t even watch.’
Gravis shook his head again to regain his bearings. "Let’s continue! We should fully take advantage of this trial."
Everyone nodded when they heard him. Joyce also regained her bearings and focused on her power.
"Yes!"