Chapter 125 - 125 – Talking About The Past
The hall remained silent as everyone was waiting for the answer of the Guild Master. The Guild Master moved the steel balls in his hand around a bit, no longer trying to crush them. While he looked at Gravis, he seemed to be in deep thought.
"If you regret what you have done, why have you not come in for punishment? Why have you continued slaughtering my disciples?" the Guild Master said with a severe tone.
Gravis didn’t falter. "I know that killing me would be just and fair. I have killed Gorn so I can only bring justice with my death, but is that the best? I trust in my strength, and I know that I can repay the whole Lightning Sect for every death when I reach sufficient strength. If I were to die now, how could I repay what I owe? Gorn’s death would be not only tragic, but also useless. If I manage to repay the Lightning Guild, his death has, at least, meaning."
The elders and the Guild Master listened to Gravis and fell into thought. Was killing Gravis just? Yes, he obviously deserved to be punished for killing his Guild Master. It would be fair for everyone if Gravis were executed for his sins. Yet, what Gravis said would also be true. The guild would have acted just, but both deaths would be meaningless.
"You act like a gambler," said the Guild Master after some seconds. "You have already lost so much money, and yet you continue betting to hope to make up for all your losses. Do you not see that your path leads to nothing but destruction and pain?" he asked.
Gravis sighed but remained stalwart. "I realize that I am acting like a gambler, but there is a clear difference between a gambler trying to get his money back and me," said Gravis with shining eyes.
"And what is that?" asked the Guild Master, leaning back on his throne.
"A gambler has minimal control over the outcome of their bet while I have full control over my strength and what I do with it," said Gravis with shining eyes. "I have many reasons to become strong, and all of them drive me forward. It’s impossible for me to fail on my way to strength because that would betray Gorn’s expectations and the expectations of even more people. I can’t fail!"
The Guild Master released an unamused laugh. "How very grand and arrogant of you," he said. "I could crush you with only one finger, and there are many more powerful people than me in this world. How can you speak of having control over your destiny when so many people can just destroy you?"
Gravis didn’t falter. "I trust in my strength, and I don’t need to win against everyone to become strong," Gravis explained. "I don’t need to think about winning against my enemies. I only need to survive, and as long as I survive, I will become strong."
The elders in the hall were discussing silently with each other. They had never been in this situation before. They did have very talented disciples in the past who committed a grave crime, yet those disciples either accepted their punishment or became enemies of the Lightning Guild. Gravis didn’t accept his punishment, but he also wasn’t the enemy of the Lightning Guild, at least from his point of view.
"So," started the Guild Master again. "If we continue sending disciples after you, you will continue on your way, even if it means killing them?" he asked Gravis.
Gravis continued unabated and looked deep into the Guild Master’s eyes. "I have no choice. I need to become powerful to repay my debt and to not betray Gorn’s expectation. He wanted me to become strong, and if I don’t, then what meaning does his sacrifice have?"
The Guild Master sighed a little. "So, no matter what happens, you will continue killing our disciples in the future, even if you don’t want to, all to reach the strength necessary to repay the Lightning Sect. There is truly no good way out of this situation. The whole fight brings only pain to both sides."
"It is necessary to continue on my way to not make Gorn’s death senseless," Gravis said.
The Guild Master laughed bitterly. "Gorn’s intentions may not be as pure as you believe, Gravis," he said with a mix of amusement and helplessness.
Gravis’ eyes wavered. The Guild Master had called Gravis by name, which meant that he was no longer looking at Gravis like he was an evil slaughterer. Gravis also hadn’t considered Gorn’s intentions. "What do you mean?" he asked with a deeper voice.
The Guild Master leaned back in his throne. "As you surely know, it needs a powerful will to compress the Magic inside of you to reach the next level in Magic Gathering," the Guild Master started explaining. "Disciples whose wills were too weak to compress their Energy have two decisions. They either go out to temper their will or decide to stop their path to power."
"Gorn was part of the second category of disciples," the Guild Master said. "We sent him to be the Guild Master of a Proxy-Lightning Guild so he could help the guild, even with his weak strength. Of course, the Guild Masters for our Proxy-Lightning Guilds need to know a lot about lightning and how it works."
"So," the Guild Master leaned forward in his throne. "Do you honestly believe that Gorn didn’t know about the lightning’s influence on your temperament when he allowed you to increase your strength further? Did you think he didn’t notice your susceptibility to the lightning’s influence?" the Guild Master asked with a serious face.
Now, Gravis started faltering and looked down at himself. His hands on his knees balled into fists as his thoughts fell into chaos. Gravis thought for nearly half a minute until he looked back at the Guild Master. "Please enlighten me," he said. He wanted to know more about Gorn, even if it might not be positive.
The Guild Master nodded. "When you decide to stop becoming stronger, your will slowly weakens over time. You feel how your strength decreases every day, and you start regretting your decision. As soon as you give up your dream, you become a husk of a man. Your life loses meaning, and everything that drove you forward in the past vanishes until you get used to your own stagnation."
The Guild Master laughed bitterly. "I know because the reason why I am the Guild Master of this Lightning Guild is the same as the reason why Gorn was your Guild Master," the Guild Master commented dryly. "I have given up my way forward, and now I am here," he pointed to the hall, "wasting away."
Instead of being shocked or angry, the elders could empathize with the Guild Master. Were they not here for the same reason? Gravis furrowed his brows. "What does this have to do with Gorn?" Gravis asked.
The Guild Master laughed slightly. "You still don’t get it? Imagine losing your ability to become stronger, wasting away, and knowing that you have not changed anything in the world and that no one will remember you. You get complacent in being weak, and you accept that changing the world is impossible."
The Guild Master stood up and started walking around while explaining. "After years of remaining this weak, you find an incredibly talented disciple. You see something in that disciple, and you feel like they could reach the peak. Suddenly, your broken dream gets reignited. You want to make something lasting, something that changes the world! Something that you created!"
As the Guild Master continued explaining, Gravis’ mind shook, yet the Guild Master didn’t stop. "It doesn’t matter what that disciple does with his strength. It only matters that they remember you when the disciple becomes strong. It doesn’t matter to you if you create a messiah or a demon king. You only want to be remembered and see that you have brought change to the world."
"So," the Guild Master turned to Gravis. "It doesn’t matter how you feel. It doesn’t matter if you are happy, sad, furious, filled with hatred, or filled with kindness. You only need to become stronger and remember him. Gorn knew that so much lightning would make you go crazy, yet he didn’t care. If he actually cared about you, he wouldn’t have allowed you to cultivate with this madness. Some weeks of rest wouldn’t have impacted your increase in power."
Gravis looked at the ground, crestfallen. His breathing grew heavier, and his thoughts were in a mess. It was not easy to shake Gravis’ will, and it didn’t matter what people said to him. He would always remain stalwart. Yet, what the Guild Master explained made sense to him, which shook his being.
"Does his death matter?" asked the Guild Master. "He probably doesn’t care that much about it. Yes, he surely wouldn’t be a fan of dying, but if it meant realizing his long-dead dream, he would probably accept it. With his death, he would always remain in your memories, even after you have lived for a long time and have already ascended to a higher world."
The Guild Master walked closer to Gravis, who, by now, felt all kinds of emotions. "Do you still believe Gorn only wanted your best? Do you still think Gorn was a good person?" he asked.