Chapter 189: Vitality (5)
He knew that Yeorum’s empathy stemmed from a trivial emotion.
He knew that Yeorum’s emotions were extremely narrowly scoped and simple.
He also knew that she would show a different reaction to other incidents that would happen later down the track.
But he was a human who lived for her sake. Although that may appear selfless at a glance, it was in fact an attitude which started off from extreme selfishness. 7th iteration – thousands of iterations hidden behind that all failed and the Regressor thus became a selfish person.
Despite that, Yeorum was wishing for him to be purely selfless.
In the end, wasn’t selflessness a selfish emotion in itself? Isn’t it the act of finding satisfaction for oneself by helping others?
However, no matter what the hidden agenda may be, the traces it left behind for the world to see would appear selfless, and Yeorum was asking that from him.
“…”
At this moment, the Regressor perceived that he had to change his thoughts.
“Got it.”
When he said that, Yeorum gazed up at him in shock. Her anxious gaze appeared to be trying to confirm whether he was telling the truth or not.
“I’ll help.”
“Really…?”
“Yeah.”
She dropped her head. After heaving a sigh of relief, she whispered with a slightly brighter voice.
“Thanks…”
Before turning around, Yu Jitae decided to ask something which had been on his mind.
“Did you grow attached to the kid or something?”
“No… I only saw him for a bit. How would I get attached that quickly.”
“Then why do you want me to save him.”
“You said it was hard for him to live because he was born unfortunately right, but someone else is desperately wishing for him to live. I want kids like that to live at least…”
“Why.”
“What do you mean why.”
He was expecting a response along the lines of sympathy. However, her returning speech contained an extremely foreign word.
“That’s just fuc*ing way too sad…”
***
BM quietly waited for the purple mouth to head towards his heart. Even if he lost one heart, he wouldn’t die and would simply end with losing a large portion of his strength. Even then, it was fine. It would enter the body of the precious child and stay with him eternally as one.
When the purple mouth opened itself, four dense rows of teeth revealed a sharp lustre. Taebaek threw his arms wide open, making him hazily remember the baby that used to call him, ‘Uncleee’ in the distant past.
He hugged the child and soon, teeth like spears ripped through his skin and dug in deep. Although he felt the shredding pain, he hugged the child with a smile and gazed at the red hair of the boy. The smile of a father happily watching his boy eat, appeared on his lips.
That was when it all changed.
Something flew towards them, bringing with it an extremely rapid and assertive force. Astonished, BM pulled the boy in with one arm and blocked the attack by swinging his other arm.
Reddish-black mana surged from his chest and shoulder blades. The arm of Demon Baron Ahillia appeared above his skin.
With the reddish black arm that was twice as long and thick than his original arm, BM pushed the opponent away.
The moment they clashed, he realised who the opponent was. However, the opponent who he thought was impossible to push back, got pushed back all too easily.
A hazy gaze and a hazy expression. The weapon in the man’s hand was vicious yet invisible to the eyes. At that moment, BM realised that the weapon did not have a fixed shape and gazed down at the child.
The back of the child’s neck – his spine was cut in two.
His sense of reality,
Faded,
Into the distance.
Immediately, a fierce aura started bursting forth from his entire body.
“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, YU JITAE——!!”
The shout echoed through the entire inner room.
What stopped his urge to immediately dash forth was the remembering of the fact that the child had absorbed the blood of a seven-headed troll. He would soon recover, and wouldn’t die from just this much.
“Did you doubt me, and this child?”
“…”
“Yu Jitae, you damned devil!”
Yu Jitae had been visiting them very frequently.
At the start, BM was displeased and was later worried. Yu Jitae was a being who knew a lot about chimeras. The reason that he frequented the underground labyrinth which he usually didn’t even consider was naturally because of the human-type chimera. BM was obviously aware of that fact.
He was monitoring himself and Taebaek.
“Why aren’t you saying anything! I’m asking you what you’re trying to do–!”
The transcendent being in front of him was looking at him. What did he discover during his time monitoring them? He wasn’t naive enough to believe that Yu Jitae would never discover the feeding process.
However, that alone wasn’t enough for this wicked and assertive act.
What BM realised after watching him from the side, was that he was always a calculating person.
What did he see?
What in the world did he see?
After thinking up to that point, BM denied his thoughts.
No.
Calculate what.
That bastard is a lunatic.
Trying to understand the ways of a lunatic was foolish.
He didn’t see anything. He’s doing this despite not knowing anything.
BM’s evaluation of Yu Jitae started plummeting down in real time.
“…”
So when Yu Jitae opened his mouth, BM’s sensitive perception made the world flow extremely slow. He considered dozens of possible sentences that Yu Jitae could say, and thought of suitable rebuttals.
Yu Jitae’s words were always short and oppressive. BM was already used to him treating him like a child.
Right.
Say whatever you want, you damn lunatic. You human who have nothing but power to push others down with. Will you say the heart’s wrong because it’s made from an ingredient different from the one you said? Will you say this child that I made for over 20 years is a failed human-type chimera?
Say whatever you want to confuse me.
You’re nothing but a lunatic. I will not be shaken. Never, will I be shaken…
However, the words that left his mouth shook BM’s entire brain.
“Sorry.”
He felt a hammer striking down on his head.
All his thoughts and assumptions started crumbling down. The transcendent being that existed outside the realms of his comprehension was apologising to him.
In this inconceivably unrealistic situation, BM unconsciously let out a shrill voice.
“What…”
“If I knew things would turn out like this, I would have simply helped you without being foolish.”
What in the world was happening.
“I am, very inexperienced at dealing with people.”
He started apologising to him.
“Please forgive me if you may.”
BM felt the approach of the most unwanted result. His chin dropped low, ripping through his cheeks. The jaw of a chimera revealed itself and soon let out a large bellow with mana.
“Shut your damn mouth–!!”
The outburst of killing intent shook the playground area of the inner room. The floor, ceiling, toys. Everything crumbled and got torn but it failed to have any effect on Yu Jitae.
Yu Jitae walked forward. Seeing him walking towards them, BM pulled the child deeper into his embrace and curled his body, despite knowing that it was futile.
After stopping in front of him, Yu Jitae opened his mouth.
“You need to wake up now. Jung Bongman. Don’t you know it yourself…”
No. I don’t know.
“Don’t you also know, that it’s a fake.”
I don’t. I’ve never even considered such a thing.
“Don’t you know how the child started imitating your smile after seeing you smile.”
It was normal for kids to smile.
“The kid started treating you like a father after you spoke about it. You know that yourself.”
Kids all had fathers by nature.
“The kid that used to smile when hungry, crying after realising that it could get more by crying;
“How it started distancing away from you after realising that it could easily get what it wants that way;
“How it always glanced at the exit;
“Don’t you know better than anyone yourself what that means?
“Didn’t you also think to yourself that the heart of the human-type chimera was trying its hardest to survive?”
Yu Jitae’s words caused something inside BM’s head to come crashing down. He remembered the first time the unsmiling baby started smiling. He remembered the time the child who always asked for a hug started distancing away from him. He remembered how the child constantly made up imaginary parents after hearing something from Ha Saetbyul.
BM put the child down. Around the purple heart, blood was gushing forth like crazy.
“It can’t be…”
It was an empty mumble. The constant doubts that appeared from time to time crawled up from the depths of his emotions.
He wanted to believe that this child was Jung Taebaek.
He believed it because he wanted to, and because he believed it, he had only been seeing what was good in his eyes.
BM didn’t want to admit that fact.
“I’m not asking for an apology with words alone.”
“…”
Yu Jitae spoke towards BM’s shattered mind.
“I’ll share a portion of the responsibility. I promise you. I’ll help you so that the body of the child doesn’t die and will help you make the true heart. I will definitely allow you to meet the ‘real’ one again.”
“…”
“So give me the fake. Let me end it.”
He took another step forward.
Raising his head, BM looked at Yu Jitae. Behind his sunglasses, the sparkling blue eyes of Abraxas met with the hazy eyes of the man.
The voice of the man who made the biggest decision in the world powerlessly left his lips.
“…I’ll do it myself.”
***
The broken spine was recovered thanks to the blood of the seven-headed troll and the child soon regained his consciousness.
As if whinging about the pain, the child touched the back of his neck with a frown and soon realised that BM was next to him.
Thus, he turned to BM with a smile.
“Daddy. What happened?”
The child called him.
“My neck suddenly hurts… It hurts.”
BM was blankly staring at the ground. Seeing that he was still ignoring him, the child tilted his head for a bit before sobbing.
“Daddy… it hurts… it hurts… my neck…”
Even then, BM was staring at the floor without moving at all. Taebaek soon started crying – he started weeping out loud. Despite that, BM still didn’t move. Like a statue, he was staring at the ground on his knees, so the child immediately stopped crying.
“Daddy…?”
He then carefully came up to him.
“I’m, hungry… can I finish eating…?”
He still didn’t move.
After carefully approaching him, the child opened his chest wide. His chest divided into two and revealed a purple flesh from within. The mouth as always had countless teeth and it headed towards BM’s chest which was drenched with blood.
It was then. BM punched forward and with the shattering sound of glasses, all the teeth inside the purple mouth shattered.
Shocked, the child – the chimera – rigidly stopped itself.
Soon, the purple flesh near its heart divided once again. The chimera opened its eyes from within.
It realised that the situation wasn’t normal.
When the human who had been supporting its life betrayed it, the chimera realised that it was clearly an enemy rather than a machine that provided food for itself.
That was when BM hugged the child.
The child raised its nails and scratched BM’s neck and crunched his shoulder with his teeth. He did it with a lot of force but it ended with his teeth and nails crumbling into pieces. While bleeding from his entire body, the child yelled. He screamed from the bottom of his guts.
“Mommy—! Mommyyyy–!! This person’s trying to kill me! He’s trying to kill me!!”
“Don’t kill me–!!! I want to liveeee—!”
“Please don’t kill meeee—-!”
The child cursed BM and desired to live.
BM couldn’t listen to it any longer. By pressing down on the child’s head, he buried his head into his shoulders.
If he were to listen to it any longer, he wouldn’t be able to do the deed.
It was the heart embedded with horrendous vitality. Although it might have been an imitation and nothing but an act;
Although it might have been a wrong birth,
This was a child I made,
And for a short while, it had been my child.
BM reached his arms forward and hugged the child. For a long time, he quietly shed tears.
Then, he extracted the child’s heart from his back.