Her lips were sweet.
The usual gentle fragrance of grass was replaced by the subtle scent of flowers. Although it simply smelled sweet on the outside, it was somewhat sticky and constantly tried to weave him in.
That fragrance was slowly getting more intense.
Using every bit of patience, he suppressed his impulse but Bom did not give him enough time. Her small shoulders nervously came forward. Her two hands sneaked into his chest and held him by the chin as their faces once again came closer. This time, the kiss lasted longer. Their salivas were interchanged, lips were placed on top of lips, they were entangled and intertwined. A heated breath scraped past his lower lips and he had to exhibit his last bit of patience.
However, when Bom suddenly started to smile; when her little hands caressed over his body; when those eyes that seemed liberated unlike the past gazed at him deeply, looking like she was drunk in love and there was nothing more precious than him in the world… And when her head reached his chest, and as he gazed down at the grass-coloured head lending a close ear to his heartbeat…
His patience,
It snapped with a click.
He wrapped his hands around her waist, lifted her up and threw her down on the bed. His gestures were dynamic and his mind had nothing but impulse with the previous caution being nowhere to be seen. As if his nails had reached the outskirts of the itchy skin, his body was being led forward by an electrifying impulse that no-one could withstand.
Bom started smiling again.
Is this funny? He was trying to ask that but her mouth cracked open and her tongue came slithering out. His mind turned blank again and everything that had been kept suppressed flooded out. Like rushing torrents, they engulfed him from above and encroached his feelings.
His hand reached the last piece of cloth that was barely holding its place. Undoing it was no longer even an option. He ripped it and removed the last barrier between the two of them.
“Nn…♥”
A faint coquettish moan enticed him. He did not know what she wanted, nor did he know why she was desperately wanting it now despite rejecting it in the past. He knew nothing from the start to the end; from the reason she was whispering words of love into his ears to the reason he was finding her pretty. The only things he could see was Bom who loved him like a mental patient and a killing machine that started finding an existence pretty for the first time after a thousand years. At the end of this disjointed relationship, the girl with a mental illness was indulged in him, and was wishing for him to also be indulged in her.
“Aren’t you hot…? You should, take off your jumper…”
While still blabbering some nonsense, Bom pulled his business shirt without even touching the buttons. It might be because she was wearing a jumper herself.
Again, their lips collided as a tidal wave struck him. She continued her restless and delicate gasps as he followed his impulse. From top to bottom – there was no more consideration in his movement and everything stopping him was ripped apart.
Is this normal?
Is this really what you wanted?
But for him to blame everything on her, he too was feeling a burst in pleasure.
“Come…”
Was she still that drunk? Even though the Ignition Key had already been snatched from her hands, Bom was still trying to control him. Aside from the explosive impulse he was feeling, he was still feeling immensely irritated by the uncertainty Bom had thrown into his plan.
He pinched her on her cheeks. ‘Ughhhh,’ she groaned as he held onto her chin and made her look back into his eyes. Bom blinked her hazy eyes from the sudden pain as she gazed at him from below.
“Say that again.”
She seemed quite sober now.
The emotion being revealed on her face created a curve. Her lips curled up and Bom said with a bright smile.
“Please…”
What came next was a huge tempest.
.
.
.
The hand leaning on the table was gradually pushed back. Her middle finger reached the bottle of alcohol and after a tap, it pushed the bottle away. Tap. Once again, mana alone was unable to support her and her body was thus being constantly thrusted back with each tap. At one point, the glass bottle reached the corner of the table and quivered. When her body stiffened as if it was electrified, the glass bottle was pushed even further and at last fell on the ground. Creating a loud and disturbing noise it shattered, thus hiding a different noise in the background.
Flowing down, the liquids merged. What rose up was the scent of alcohol, and a fragrance of flowers pervading deeper in.
Moans were added into the mix.
She grabbed onto his collars and pushed it as hard as she could. He, who should be immovable, was pushed back.
Their lips came together.
Since she had always been the one looking at him from underneath, there were times when her neck was in pain. But now, she didn’t have to look up. As she continued her rushed exhales, keeping a firm grip on her consciousness, Bom looked down at him.
With the thorny fate striking her like a whip, facing the cold season in ripped clothes, and freezing from the chilly wind with her roots unable to go deeper into the side of the cliff – that was what her life was like. The scenery from the tip of the sword was beautiful and everything about him was marvellous.
The fall was bound to last longer the higher she was, and as such, everything hot made her feel colder and colder. Therefore, she cried. She cried, moaned and cried again. Even if she were to beg on her knees, he would not listen. None of her actions could change his long history. Because letting him go was the only way to accept him, Bom could do nothing but weep and swallow her sorrows.
“Do you know, why I was refusing you…?”
She could not even voice out her words properly due to her uneven gasps. Even though she felt like she would go unconscious the moment she released her tension for a split second, Bom desperately opened her mouth.
“It’s because I was scared. And I didn’t want to lose you…
“That’s what I thought, but I was wrong…
“I was selfish.
“As you said, I was selfish, and because I was supposed to be first… That’s why I refused you…”
Everything he had considered precious were gone, and finally he was about to send off the kids including herself that were the only remaining treasures in his mind.
Therefore, he would be unhappy even if he survived.
That would be even more so, because of the memories they had created together.
“When we leave, you can die…
“Don’t live too long by yourself, and please die at any cost…
“It’s okay to embrace someone before that…
“If that makes you happy, then please be happy through death…”
That was when a large shock crossed the line and smashed her body. Frozen stiff, Bom frowned and collected her breath. The feelings that had been flooding in as if trying to kill her; those extreme stimulations were bursting like a bomb at her lower stomach and were vigourous enough to split her body in half. That was why she cried; because she knew she would not have a day like today again.
Her toes twirled in. Her back curved on its own accord and her blurry eyes could not see his expression.
“But please smile when you are dying… Cherish all the good memories we have… and please think of me once…”
Bom still moved.
“You told me to continue living…
“I will…
“Even if I want to die, I will force myself to live…”
A sudden burst in power flipped her body upside down as she let out a scream. Pinned underneath, Bom could not gaze up at his face and the tainted world was shaking busily in her sight.
Bom recalled the phrase she had written one day in her novel.
[Bodily love tends to occur from sensation. The eyes spot a beauty. The nose smells sweetness. Being protected to rest at a nearby pond and the feeling of elongating my existence is brought forth from a bodily relationship. But that stops once filled. It dries rapidly and something sweeter can always replace it and ache the heart.
But psychological love permeates through the stomach and levitates the entire body. It occurs not from sensation but from the time spent together. It pervades and is not filled and thus cannot be replaced with anything else. It forever establishes its position in between the soul and warmly embraces my body and mind.
This is fundamentally different from the short throbbing or aching of the heart. Thinking about it, the warmth spreading from the lower stomach to all over the body through the veins, is like ‘that’ filling the empty outer space called ‘me’, and brightening it with warm light.]
Although it was an elegant set of sentences, those were more like imaginations of a dreaming girl – delusions she was having through several ‘mental preparations’.
But when the outer space was almost entirely filled up, Bom was finally certain that her Amusement was one that had been loved by him.
“I will never be able to forget today…”
Wrapping her arms around his thick neck, and sobbing with a lump in her throat…
Bom whispered into his ears.
“Forever…”
***
They shared love – several times.
After being unleashed once, his greed flared up like a beast’s. The emotions that had been puzzling him that were thus making him doubt himself were automatically dissolved.
She would be leaving anyway, and everything would be over so why should he bother doubting things? Thinking that, he gave Bom everything she wanted and she received everything he gave her. He followed his impulse and she constantly wished for more. Even now, his daily life was at the core moving him and he respected her requests.
While crying and saying some gibberish, Bom fainted a few times before suddenly laughing as if she had gone crazy. He didn’t like those laughing noises so he bullied her even more and she suddenly tried to escape in tears. He couldn’t let her go and thus brought her back as her nails scratched the blanket in vain. After being brought back a few times, she was all the more desperate at trying to escape from him so they ended up changing the location from the bed to the doorfront and their disordered conversation ended up resonating all the way to the corridor and the hot spring.
In the middle, her breath turned rushed and the shivering became intense as if she would die any time soon. Because of that, he stopped and Bom zealously tried to recover her body during the short break. While tightly hugging him so that he wouldn’t go further away and after getting rid of the sweaty fringes from her forehead, she raised her legs again and entangled them into his legs.
“What.”
“…”
They had a short eye contact and Bom closed her eyes. Seemingly embarrassed to show her face, she buried her head into his chest. However, her body unknowingly rubbing itself against his and the quickening gasps reaching his skin were suggesting something instead.
Bom was requesting something.
This however was a bad habit. Bom had the tendency of trying to move everything the way she wanted without even saying them out loud. It made her look like a schemer and a condescending one at that, and it was an attitude that all the dragons had in common.
But he wasn’t a soldier. He wasn’t Yu Bom’s toy like what Yeorum had saved his number as on her watch. He was a person, and if there was something she wanted from him, Bom had to voice it out loud.
And in fact, that wasn’t very difficult. Instead, it was quite easy.
One word was enough.
‘More,’
Her mind that wanted to delay the end as much as possible echoed as a melancholic voice melting at his ears.
‘Give me more.’
Bom cried.
‘…More.’