Once upon a time, Yu Jitae plucked a flower.
It was a bad thing to do.
He tried not to regret it.
It was a poisonous flower; a flower that drove his life down into the gutters. Thus, he decided to break the flower and he did. He had no intention of justifying his acts. Plucking a flower was a bad thing to do and he indeed was a bad human. He simply had to accept the past as it is.
After several seasons and the passing of time, the same flower budded in that same location. Finding that new flower precious all of a sudden was a laughable thing to do.
All he had to do was simple. He merely had to water the flower whenever appropriate and nurture it. There was no need to find it precious, since he wasn’t growing the flower because he liked it.
That must definitely have been the case but…
Living together with the flower,
Seeing the flower bud,
Seeing butterflies and insects flying to the flower,
Seeing its dews on the morning and it flutter under the night wind,
He discovered himself slowly finding the flower more precious.
In order to grow it well, he had to love the flower. But loving the flower increased the size of his guilt of breaking the flower in the past. No matter how pretty the flower was, he couldn’t stare at it for too long.
While he was feeling confused from all those constraints, the flower spoke to him.
“This feels a lot better now…”
Bom nonchalantly got down from his knees. Yu Jitae, who had been thinking about something different, asked with a dazed voice.
“Huh?”
She didn’t reply to his question and simply stretched out audibly, ‘Knnggg…!’ in a good mood.
“Oh right. I think it’s about time to talk about it.” She continued.
“About what.”
“I actually don’t want to do it yet, but I’m done settling my emotions. So can I just practise it once before the actual thing?”
“…About what?”
“Come on. Of course, about Yeorum.”
Ah, right. It was indeed about time that they made up.
“Right. Think of me as her and practise.”
“Okay. Huu.”
Closing her eyes, she breathed out before opening her mouth.
Episode 71: How a Green Dragon breaks
“Sorry.”
On the rooftop of Dorm 107, Yeorum, who was leaning on the wall smoking, looked to the side. She could see Bom with her cucumber-coloured hair tied in a ponytail.
“Sorry for what.”
“Sorry for trying to attack you.”
“Attack? Do you call that just attacking? Weren’t you trying to kill me?”
“Yes.”
“Hah…”
Yeorum let out a scoff.
“Not even gonna say no? You crazy bi*ch.”
“Sorry…”
“Is ‘sorry’ enough? When I almost died back then? Of course, you would have been dead by me straight after that though.”
“I’m sorry. Really sorry…”
“How do I know you’re actually sorry?”
“Hmm, what should I do for you to feel better?” Bom asked.
Yeorum replied subconsciously.
“Kneel, you fuc*ing b*tch.”
In response, Bom obediently lowered her body and kneeled, despite wearing short pants with open knees.
‘You’re actually kneeling…’ murmured Yeorum before walking up to her and putting her foot forward.
“Kiss my foot.”
“…”
Vacantly Bom gazed at her foot before meekly lowering her head. Then, she actually kissed her toes before lifting her face.
“Is that enough?” she then asked.
“Oi, you. Are you actually crazy?”
“Why?”
“Why would you actually do that? Would you kill yourself if I told you to?”
“No?”
“You should have known something was off about my command, you retard,” said Yeorum.
“I did think it was off.”
“Then what? Do you have no sense of pride?”
“I do.”
“Then why would you do that!”
“It’s not time for me to take care of my pride.”
“What?”
“Yeorum. I don’t really know what you want. If this isn’t what actually betters your mood, tell me honestly what does. Don’t tell me to do weird things like that.”
In other words, Bom was saying that she was trying to match her own apology to the mindset of the lunatic that is Yeorum. But Yeorum in fact thought that her way of thinking was closer to that of a lunatic more than anything.
“Were you always like that?” Yeorum asked.
“Like what?”
“You look like you have a massive screw loose in your head.”
“…”
“If you’re going to be like that; the thing you always use. That, Eye of Providence or whatever. Why don’t you use that to see what I want?”
“Would I be doing this if I saw it? You know yourself. I can’t see Providence just because I want to.”
Puff. Puff. Smoke left through Yeorum’s mouth and nose. Suddenly, she remembered something and opened her mouth.
“Ahh, it’s almost done. But I don’t have an ashtray.”
“Nn?”
“How do I turn this off?”
Bom blinked her eyes, before opening her mouth and sticking her tongue out.
Yeorum scowled after seeing that.
“You crazy b*tch just don’t learn. Put your tongue back in, you lunatic!”
“This isn’t what you wanted either?”
“Ehew…”
“Stop telling me to do meaningless things.”
“Whatever, whatever.”
Yeorum shook her hand.
Yu Bom had always been a bit of a strange kid, but these days, she tended to act like a somewhat broken person.
“So what is it in the end?” Yeorum asked.
“Nn?”
“What are you. When I cuddled with Yu Jitae, you were jealous right? What happened to your heart.”
“…”
“You’re not gonna say anything?”
“Nn.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
Yeorum frowned in response to those words. She flicked the cigarette off her hand before walking up to Bom, who was still kneeling on the ground.
“Oi.”
“Nn?”
“Is there a problem with your Origin Fragment?”
“…”
“You love Yu Jitae, don’t you, huh?”
Bom blankly gazed up at Yeorum before letting out a smile. Then, she stayed silent for some time before dropping her head low and murmuring softly.
“Yeorum. In the first year after we left for the Amusement, was it fun?”
“What are you suddenly on about?”
“Was it fun?”
“Hmm… Well, I did find it enjoyable bashing people around.”
“It wasn’t for me.”
“…”
“Every day was boring and tiresome. I didn’t know what the point of my Amusement was, but after coming here, there was something that I enjoyed for the first time.”
Those were things Bom had never let out of her mouth until now. Whenever their conversation led to a similar topic in the past, she had glossed over it but not this time.
“The process of making ahjussi a human is fun.”
Yeorum took another cigarette out and placed it between her lips. She flicked her thumb and index finger to light it on fire.
“You say that as if Yu Jitae isn’t a human,” Yeorum intervened.
“Is a human without emotions a human?”
“…Hmm. Continue.”
“I think a human is someone that can express their emotions. That’s why I’m teaching ahjussi emotions one by one. That’s what I have been doing so far, and will continue doing so.”
“And what.”
“But there was a big obstacle.”
“What. Don’t tell me it’s love?”
“It is.”
Huu. Yeorum breathed out a gush of smoke and giggled.
“True. I can’t imagine that human ever loving someone.”
“Right? But he will.”
Surprise appeared on Yeorum’s face as she heard those words. A green dragon saying, ‘he will’ – what did that specify? It meant that Bom had seen Providence.
“For real? That human loving someone? Who is that?”
“It was me.”
But for some reason, her response was slightly weird.
“It, was you?”
“…”
“Ah, don’t tell me…”
Yeorum reflected on how Bom had turned strange these days.
Until now, Bom was always like alcohol mixed with water; water mixed with alcohol – a dragon with a murky personality. Usually, it was hard to tell whether she was in a good mood or not and her emotional expressions were very few. A diligent but an inflexible and boring kid – that was the impression she gave off.
But how was she recently? She was emotional, impulsive and the way she treated situations started being strangely different.
Like a broken machine doll.
Ah…! Yeorum remembered hearing how the green race tended to become like that in certain situations.
“I get it… You saw something with your Eye of Providence but something went wrong. Right?”
Providence was absolute, but it was always shown in fragments.
It was up to the dragon to interpret the entirety of the Providence by only seeing a fragment of it, and a young dragon tended to make mistakes in that process.
Bom was hesitant to say it. Yeorum wanted to give her more time to think but couldn’t help but ask the most important question.
“And? What about you right now? What do you currently think about Yu Jitae?”
“It’s a little bit complicated. Would you still like to listen?”
“Say it.”
“I’m changing ahjussi right now, right? If ahjussi were to feel love for someone, the best candidate for that was me.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I am the loveliest.”
“Crazy b*tch.”
“For that to work, I had to become interested in ahjussi myself.”
“And?”
“So I took interest at the start, and tried to get to know him along the way. Ahjussi had a clear line drawn and to change ahjussi, I had to cross that line. I tried a lot, and that was when I saw through Providence. A providence of me being embraced by ahjussi.”
“What? Embraced!?”
“Nn.”
“Uhh, like how?”
“Deeply.”
“Deeply? What do you mean, being deeply embraced?”
Bom interlocked her fingers in response to her question. Then, she slowly started closing her fingers together as it soon formed a fist.
“…Something like this.”
“Oi. Don’t tell me. Is that what I think it is?”
“Probably?”
Yeorum repeatedly coughed as smoke gushed out from her nostrils.
“Ah f*ck. That’s freaking interesting. What next?”
“I’m a green dragon. Would I do the deed with someone I have an ambiguous relationship with? Never. So back then, I thought it would be me that would eventually make ahjussi into a human.”
“And?”
Kneeling on the ground, Bom gazed up at Yeorum. The words that continued from her mouth were fairly shocking even for Yeorum.
“But in an even more distant future, ahjussi was embracing a different girl.”
“…”
“A black-haired girl.”
Yeorum was astonished. Her expression was frozen solid for a few seconds but soon crumpled into a frown.
She shouted.
“What the f*ck!? Who is that bit*h? Her face and her race?”
“I don’t know. I only know her hair colour.”
“Wait, wait! Wait a second. Then, you…”
Yeorum finally realised exactly why Bom was broken all of a sudden.
Bom started feeling extremely anxious and stressed. Was it because the future changed? No. If Bom simply considered Yu Jitae an artwork, the change in future would mean nothing to her.
“Say it straight! So you’re saying what I’m doubting is correct?” Pressuring her to quickly open her mouth, Yeorum grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. With her body being pushed back and forth, Bom opened her mouth.
“You are correct. My emotions are certainly there. A part of my heart must have gone wrong while the dimensions disjointed. It was too late by the time I realised it.”
Bom powerlessly smiled.
“I, I love ahjussi…”
*
After sending Bom off, Yeorum took out another cigarette and placed it between her lips.
Providence was unchanging.
So the future Bom saw would definitely occur. According to her, Yu Jitae would one day embrace Bom, and would later go to definitely embrace that black-haired b*tch.
This was an unchanging future.
“Yu Jitae this fu*king bastard. This trashcan of a bastard…”
Mumbling as such were all in vain. No-one knew how exactly the future would span out, nor did anyone know what would happen to Yu Jitae. Besides, they had no idea who that black b*tch was either…
The issue was that the hair colour was the only hint. That alone was difficult for them to specify the identify of the person.
Even Yeorum herself was the same. The reason she persisted with her red hair was because that colour was the honour and pride of her race. If she wanted to, she could dye her hair to any colour.
Thus, it was a meaningless concern. The only reason Yeorum was still here smoking through another pack of cigarettes was because Bom’s face was vividly etched in her vision; how she immediately started crying after confessing her love for ahjussi.
‘I, feel so anxious, it drives me crazy…’
Bom had cried over and over again.
‘Even when I’m breathing, I don’t feel like breathing and my mind just doesn’t settle. Acting normal is just not easy. When I became mad at you, I was already at my limit.
‘I didn’t know either, but I get very greedy and jealous. When I see you talking to ahjussi, it makes me want to stop you from talking to him alone. But I can handle that much. Because I also like you. Because our Unit 301 is more important than my emotions.
‘But, but…? Now what? In the end, it means ahjussi won’t be mine.
‘So what if I change ahjussi? After changing, wouldn’t he love someone else and not me?
‘Thinking about that, my heart aches so much… I feel so anxious that I feel like going crazy…’
Squeezing her heart, Bom cried for a very long time. That small hand of hers was trembling nonstop.
‘Sorry. Sorry for getting angry…’
Yeorum forgave her.
Puff. Puff. After breathing out a mouthful of smoke, Yeorum heaved out another sigh in a complicated mood. After seemingly calming herself down after getting forgiven by Yeorum, Bom had spoken back then with a refreshed look on her face.
‘At least it feels better after saying it out loud.’
‘What are you going to do now?’ Yeorum asked back then.
‘What else. I have to finish what I have started. And normally, it is okay because my endurance is very good. Unless someone does it intentionally like you, there is no problem.’
‘Fuc*.’
‘Ah, this is a secret. You know that right?’
Secret, my ass…
…Maybe it was Yeorum herself that should have asked for her forgiveness?
Thinking that, her mind was muddled with complicated thoughts.
*
Yeorum returned to the dormitory.
“Are you back already? What about training.”
“Whatever. Don’t talk to me. You’re disgusting.”
Yu Jitae blinked his eyes. What was wrong with this child?
Glaring at him, Yeorum whispered very softly, ‘An actual son of a bi*ch…’ before entering her room.
??,,,
He was dumbfounded.