Zhen Jin nodded: “I understand what you are saying. Thank you for your reminder.”
He slowly walked away from Cang Xu.
This time, although the old scholar could not provide an effective stratagem, and was also helpless in the face of these pursuing scorpions, he still helped Zhen Jin a lot.
The young knight knew: Cang Xu was urgently reminding him that he needed to make a decision as soon as possible.
Because as time passed, the exploration team would get increasingly weaker, not only physically but also mentally. If this situation was allowed to persist, it was likely that Zhen Jin’s group would collapse before the scorpion group launched an all-out attack.
Zhen Jin and Zi Di talked again.
“My Lord.” Zi Di’s tone seemed weak as she sat against a golden granite boulder.
Her petite body was still wrapped with her magic robe. Currently, this magic robe had become filthy, with frayed hems and holes on the back.
Her amethyst eyes were no longer bright, they had become dull and lacked vigor.
By her own volition, she requested to eat less than the other exploration team members.
In order to maintain her body temperature as high as possible, she wore her hood. Under the night breeze, the fringe of her hair on her forehead fluttered gently.
Zhen Jin softly sighed in his heart, and couldn’t help but feel affection and pity.
He extended his hand and gently brushed aside Zi Di’s hair to avoid blocking his view.
Zi Di’s eyes flickered: “My lord, do you think that we can still escape from this island?”
Zhen Jin immediately became startled because Zi Di was so weak at this moment.
The young knight suddenly realized that if one put aside abilities and status, the present Zi Di was just a weak young girl.
She needed encouragement, consoling, and something to rely on.
“Of course we can. As long as we try our best.” Zhen Jin encouraged, despite knowing his words held no weight.
Zi Di nodded and asked: “My Lord, when do you think we should hunt a spear scorpion?”
Zhen Jin went silent for a moment, then said: “No need to rush, we will wait and see.”
The discourse with Zi Di was much the same as the one with Cang Xu, Zi Di stated that it was very difficult to be more helpful to Zhen Jin.
After talking with the other members, Zhen Jin finally found himself alone.
Both Zi Di and Cang Xu were wise people.
They were both very clear about the current situation and knew that if they delayed unnecessarily, they would eventually die. Even if they didn’t explicitly state it, they tactfully advised Zhen Jin to take his chances——kill a spear scorpion, dissect it, and make potions from its body.
But Zhen Jin had his own thoughts.
He had seen the lizards and the golden scorpions clash in this golden granite patch.
He believed: “If the environment is the same again, then the scorpions and lizard groups would encounter each other again, and when neither retreats, they would fight each other, causing a chaotic situation.”
“This will be an opportunity.”
Zhen Jin had led everyone to this place to create that opportunity.
But Zhen Jin did not reveal this plan to the others.
Why didn’t he?
Because Zhen Jin was not certain of the outcome.
Recklessly speaking would undoubtedly give the people hope. But if the plan failed, everyone would become even more disappointed. In light of the team’s present morale, Zhen Jin felt that following hope with disappointment would test the limits of what everyone could mentally endure.
Cang Xu had admonished him to understand the will of the people and to prevent a nervous breakdown. Actually, Zhen Jin did not need Cang Xu to raise this point for he had long understood it secretly.
Very late into the night, on a golden granite boulder.
The young knight retracted his gaze that was cast into the depths of the night and shifted it to the spider blade in his hand.
Under the moonlight, a clear crack was visible on the surface of the spider blade.
The sharp weapon already could not endure constant use.
Zhen Jin was not surprised.
This was very normal.
Strictly speaking, the spider blade was only a material, it was not a real sword.
It was from the silver level blade-legged spider’s body, although it was hard and sharp, it was still only a piece of the blade-legged spider’s body that the main spider body was constantly nourishing.
Only then could the blade-legged spider’s leg remain healthy and sharp over a long period of time.
After Zhen Jin killed the blade-legged spider, he cut off its legs, after becoming a completely dead object, there was no longer any nutrition being given to it.
Subsequently, the blade saw constant usage and was being worn down.
Under normal circumstances, the spider blade leg was a fine material for weapons. An alchemist or a foundry master could use a range of magic, alchemy, smelting, and other methods to preserve the spider blade’s abilities for longer.
Creating a true alchemy implement or a magic weapon required even higher-end and more complex craftsmanship and technology. All kinds of materials were combined into one entity in magical harmony.
Even if an alchemy implement or a magic weapon was made, it would still need to be maintained.
Even divine artifacts needed faith or the infusion of divine power.
The spider blade leg in Zhen Jin’s hand had not received any maintenance from the start, the leg was just attached to a hilt, this was as crude as it got.
To be damaged was its inevitable fate.
During these last two days, Zhen Jin used the spider blade to confront the spear scorpion leader which accelerated the spider blade’s degradation. The scorpion’s carapace was extremely hard, Zhen Jin could only leave scars on the carapace of the silver level spear scorpion even when using his uttermost power to slash at it. Even other scorpions required much effort to cut through their carapaces.
At this very moment, Zhen Jin looked at the cracked spider blade in his hand alone and couldn’t help but ponder: how much longer can this weapon last? Could he depend on it to kill the silver level spear scorpion?
Subsequently, he thought about himself: “What about myself, how long can I last?”
Ever since they were teleported a second time, the young knight was just like the sword he held, he never had a rest, he had insufficient food and water, had to run for distances, bravely breaking out of a siege, he had already violently squeezed out the limits of his physical strength and energy.
“This spider blade is already unreliable.”
“So what else can I rely on?”
At this point, Zhen Jin began to no longer reach out to the gods.
He knew it was too extravagant to hope for a divine spell.
The only trump card he had was transformation.
He had relied on the transformation to kill the silver level blade-legged spider and the dangerous flying squirrel.
But the transformation ability was very unreliable.
After the teleportation, it had never triggered.
Zhen Jin did not know the reason for this.
He guessed that there were two likely possibilities.
The first was that he was not on the verge of life and death and did not have any extreme emotions, thus he could not achieve the conditions to trigger it.
The second was that the magic crystal in his heart lacked enough magic power to allow him to transform a third time. Carefully thinking back, the first time he transformed he had sharp claws, the second he had arms as thick as a bear’s, the degree of transformation of the second time was less than that of the first. Moreover, the second time he transformed, Zhen Jin sensed that the magic crystal in his heart weakened substantially.
“As for battle qi…” Zhen Jin, who was sitting on top of the enormous golden granite boulder, frowned slightly.
“Even if I can recall the crucial memories and understand how to mobilize my battle qi.”
“The island’s suppression does not allow me to activate battle qi. If I had the aid of battle qi, killing the silver level spear scorpion would be very easy.”
Of course, this assumed he possessed silver level or higher battle qi.
As dusk gathered, the cold night wind slightly blew Zhen Jin’s blond hair.
The young knight no longer gazed at his sword as he fixed his gaze on the moon high above him.
Moonlight sprinkled down resembling a thin gauze, covering Zhen Jin’s handsome face, it then permeated through his golden hair, making the youth gradually relax his slightly furrowed brows.
The corners of Zhen Jin’s mouth slowly perked up into a silent smile.
At this moment, as he stayed in the vast sea of sand, with his surroundings absolutely silent, it seemed like he was the only one left facing the vast expanse of heaven and earth, the cosmos, and nature.
Boundless emotions rose up in the youngster’s heart——Compared to nature, what am I?
My struggles, my resistance, my ambitions, and my duties are all important to me, they are even more important than my life! But in the vastness of the heavens and the earth, they are as insignificant as a grain of sand.
The battles between me, the scorpion group, and the lizard group are just one of countless struggles for survival and reproduction amongst countless species and groups in nature, just something minor.
Zhen Jin deeply perceived it, however, he was not discouraged or dismayed.
He found that his heart was very tranquil, very calm, without any traces of worry, anxiety, or sorrow.
Instead, he was serene and unperturbed.
This was completely different from before.
Not long ago, he had led the exploration team through a food shortage. He had decided to deal with the squirrel group by making short bows.
He had bravely assumed the responsibility as a leader, but during the entire course of the event, despite him seeming calm on the surface, his heart was actually filled with franticness, helplessness, anxiety, concern, and other emotions.
The situation currently was much worse, but this time, the young knight’s heart was tranquil.
Trials and tribulations were wealth gifted by fate, Zhen Jin accepted this wealth and grew tremendously.
This was not an increase in cultivation, nor growth in combat power, but an elevation of one’s mind frame.
It was like a butterfly that had broken free from its sturdy chrysalis.
Notes
Going through an existential crisis is tough, one moment you are contemplating if your life has any meaning and the next you can get hit by crippling depression. Cultivation and science fiction novels really scratch that itch on what is out there in the greater beyond. We as species, have been stuck on Earth for our entire existence, save for a few scant expeditions that have made it into space and the moon. One may question if existence even has meaning, save what we give it. Curiosity, fear, and insanity are just some things that drive us to go further than our predecessors in this strange and unlimited universe.
Deus’ Note
I really love existential dread in fiction, one of my favourite topics I like reading about in literature. Mostly driven by the real world and its impossible vastness and our extreme minuteness, I don’t know why but I love reading about the feebleness of life in the impossible to comprehend cosmos.