Chapter 300: [Special Side Story] Do Seohan's CSAT Journal
At twenty years old, it was my first CSAT.
It was the time when I was finally setting up a new signpost in my life after losing my direction following the Stardust Project.
I'd spent my entire life chasing a single dream.
When that dream was shattered, the helplessness that arrived afterward was far more overwhelming than I'd expected.
The one who forcibly dragged me out after I'd shut myself inside my room wasting away day after day was my older brother.
His bitter nagging had been harsh, but it truly helped.
After years of trainee life came to an end, all I had left was the unimpressive academic record of being a high school dropout and entertainment industry connections that had already lost all meaning.
At least one thing was fortunate.
I wasn't in debt.
There were plenty of shady small agencies that saddled trainees with mountains of debt under the guise of investment expenses.
Leaving that bitter story aside, my brother said to me,
‘Hey. Is your life over? Pull yourself together.’
I was still in my teens.
No matter what I chose to do, it wasn't too late.
I couldn't stay lying there in despair forever, so I awkwardly picked up a pen and started studying seriously.
I'd become a trainee when I was still young.
Saying my academic level back then had no foundation at all would be an understatement—it had practically drilled straight through the Earth's mantle.
I wasn't even good enough to attend an academy.
So in the end, the one who became my tutor was my brother.
‘I'll teach you, so just follow along.’
He'd volunteered to tutor me himself after studying the material first....
‘Hey.’
Do Seojun stared straight at me as his lower lip twitched.
It looked as though countless harsh words had flashed through his mind, but after filtering them as much as possible, only one sentence came out.
‘You idiot.’
‘I'm not doing this.’
‘Hey!’
After that, we fought almost every day.
Studying was something people got better at through habit.
What could someone with absolutely no foundation possibly do properly?
The result of my first CSAT after struggling through all of that...
Was disastrous.
“Oh boy....”
After seeing my preliminary score sheet covered in metaphorical rain, I was shocked.
My brother, however, didn't seem all that surprised.
He looked like someone who'd expected this outcome to some extent.
“Who does well the first time? Think about it logically. The kids who took the test with you have been studying for over ten years. How's someone who only studied for one year supposed to catch up?”
He wasn't wrong.
Just one year.
I'd done my best, but I'd made plenty of mistakes along the way.
Expecting a miracle in that amount of time would've been shameless.
I'd spent years as an idol trainee and still failed to reach my dream.
Compared to that, this wasn't all that surprising.
Instead of replying, I bit down hard on my lower lip.
“...Are you crying?”
I wasn't.
“I think the teacher's the problem. Maybe we should switch academies.”
“You wanna die?”
It was a sense of crisis.
The six years I'd spent as an idol trainee counted for nothing as work experience in society.
So if I wasted this final chance as well,
I felt as though I'd become a failure who couldn't even stand alongside ordinary people in a normal world.
Honestly,
I worked myself to the bone.
If something didn't work, I kept going until it did.
If it wasn't over, I continued until it was.
It was a period when I poured absolutely everything into it.
Then came my second CSAT.
“Wow....”
Contrary to Do Seojun's expectations,
I wasn't actually that stupid.
I turned out to be someone who could do it if I tried.
Maybe even more than that—
Someone naturally suited to studying.
Holding a score report almost entirely filled with Grade 1s, I proudly entered H University through the regular admissions process.
After that came military service, returning to school, living an ordinary college life while working part-time...
Then I got hit by a truck and regressed.
That was the story afterward....
I thought that would be my final CSAT....
“We're starting the live preliminary scoring!”
Damn it.
This made it my third attempt.
A live preliminary scoring session.
It was content dreamed up by one of the employees on the self-content team.
None of the older members had done something like this when they took the CSAT,
But since I was the last one...
They were determined to squeeze every last bit of content they possibly could out of my exam.
Of course, they said it'd only technically be live.
They planned to edit the footage afterward.
One of the self-content team staff members ran over and clenched both fists enthusiastically.
“We'll blur out anything that didn't go well! Don't worry!”
Apparently they'd protect my privacy... to some extent.
I blinked and asked,
“Will you blur all my grades?”
“Huh? No, we'll only protect some of them!”
...Could you really call that protecting them?
I was confused, but let it go.
I hadn't even had time to study properly before rushing into the exam.
If I did badly, then so be it.
Of course,
Seo Haim's constant chatter beside me had been getting on my nerves.
“Let's go for Grade 9, Do Seohan!”
“Excuse me...?”
I had my pride as someone living his second life.
I couldn't completely bomb it.
Besides, I'd actually tried pretty hard!
“We're starting the live preliminary scoring!”
“Yeees!”
Blink-.
As soon as the camera's red light turned on, leader Kang Siwoo smiled and began the introduction.
“What day is today?”
“The day Seohan took the CSAAAT!”
“Yes! Our youngest has returned after finishing a difficult exam. Please welcome him with a round of applause!”
“Waaah!”
Cha Seongbin clapped dramatically.
Since they were filming on the actual day of the exam, the atmosphere would be perfectly preserved in the video.
I simply laughed awkwardly, looking a little tired.
Just then, Han Junseo asked curiously,
“Let's start with your thoughts. How was it?”
“Well... first of all, the lunchbox you hyungs made for me was delicious....”
“You liked it? Then packing it was worth it~.”
As for the exam itself...
I thought I'd remember the questions since it'd technically been my second time seeing them,
But after so many years, that wasn't the case at all.
The questions felt brand new.
And apparently, so did the knowledge in my head.
I found myself wondering how I'd ever solved them before.
Smiling sheepishly, I answered,
“I finished the exam well.”
“So you only looked at the questions too?”
Seo Haim asked excitedly.
Since he'd taken the CSAT just last year, he seemed to feel a strong sense of camaraderie.
Shaking my head playfully, I replied,
“But I'm confident I scored better than you, hyung.”
“Hey, wanna bet?”
“Seohan, you can't score lower than Haim. His grades were... mmph!”
Jin Sehyun's brutally honest express train came to a complete stop after Seo Haim clamped a hand over his mouth.
“You're not exactly proud of your grades either!”
“Still better than Choco Haim. Right, Dustys?”
Oh dear.
While I clicked my tongue, Kang Siwoo hurriedly changed the subject and got to the main event.
“Alright then, let's start checking your answers! Ian, did you find the answer sheet?”
“Yeah. It's on the website.”
Honestly,
I was surprisingly nervous over something like this.
I clenched and unclenched my fists to calm myself.
Watching with obvious interest, Cha Seongbin urged me on.
“What subject are you grading first?”
“The classic choice. Korean first.”
“Mr. Do Seohan, what grade do you expect?”
“Ah. I'm Korean, after all. Grade 1.”
“Wahahaha!”
All I got was laughter....
Considering I'd forgotten most of the grammar rules, even I realized that prediction was a bit ridiculous.
So I corrected myself.
“I'll predict... Grade 2.”
“Our youngest is overflowing with confidence that has absolutely no basis.”
Jin Sehyun clicked his tongue.
Why?
I was confident.
“I'll prove it with my score.”
After delivering what I thought was a pretty cool line, I fixed my eyes on the score sheet.
After fiddling with his phone for quite a while, Seo Ian nodded.
“Okay. I found it...! Here we go!”
Ba-dump.
“Question 1 is answer 5. Question 2 is answer 3...!”
Hm?
“Question 3 is answer 1.”
Wait.
“Question 4 is answer 5. Question 5 is answer 3.... What's wrong?”
I stared blankly at my score sheet, blinking.
Then it hit me.
“Hyung, is that the answer sheet for the even-numbered version?”
“Ah!”
Seo Ian hurriedly covered his mouth.
“Oh dear. I found the wrong answer sheet...!”
No wonder.
“I got all five wrong and my hands started shaking!”
“Hey, hey, third-year high school Do Seohan is sensitive....”
“Ahahahaha! Ahahaha!”
Seo Ian hurriedly searched for the even-numbered answer sheet before speaking again.
“L-Let's start grading again!”
Seriously, Soft Tofu....
You nearly gave me a heart attack.
.
.
.
“...Are you serious?”
We finished grading Korean, English, and Math.
Jin Sehyun stared at my score sheet over and over as if he couldn't believe it.
“Do Seohan got Grade 2 in Korean.”
“I told you it was possible!”
Originally I'd gotten Grade 1 on the real CSAT,
But I simply couldn't remember the grammar section.
Fortunately, I'd managed to earn enough points in literature and reading comprehension to make up for it.
And as for English....
“Holy crap. That's Grade 1.”
Jin Sehyun rubbed his face in shock.
“What is this? Is it rigged?”
“Jin Sehyun's in shock~.”
Cha Seongbin watched with great amusement,
While Kang Siwoo simply smiled proudly.
“I knew Seohan was smart.”
“You are smart, but... didn't you have almost no time to study?”
“A little...?”
“No, seriously. You didn't even graduate high school. What are you?”
Oops.
Seo Haim scratched his head.
“Hmmm.... Maybe he was just born to be a global idol?”
Nod.
To get rid of their suspicious looks, I nodded enthusiastically.
“I'm good at English.”
“Your conversational English isn't Grade 1....”
“I guessed a few.”
“No, but still....”
Jin Sehyun stroked his chin as he looked over my Math score sheet.
“At least the Math score looks normal....”
Grade 3.
“No, but isn't that still way too good?”
Then Jin Sehyun noticed something unbelievable.
“Huuuh? You took Type A Math?”
“Huh?”
“My head's spinning... You dropped out before your second year of high school.”
Seo Haim asked with sparkling eyes,
“Did Do Seohan do well???”
“When someone solves problems they were never properly taught, we call that a genius.”
“Did he secretly study without me knowing? That's weird....”
High school dropout.
Half a year preparing for the high school equivalency exam.
Considering I'd also been desperately keeping up with idol schedules,
These scores really didn't make any sense.
Thankfully,
I completely gave up on the science subjects.
If it'd been two years ago, I probably would've remembered them,
But my memory was blurrier than I'd expected.
“No way... No way....”
Jin Sehyun kept shaking his head, still unable to believe it.
Beside him, Seo Ian quietly added,
“The Do Seohan genius theory....”
“Seohan's always been smart.”
Even now, Kang Siwoo was taking my side.
Jin Sehyun frowned.
“Hyung, this goes beyond just being smart. Is this really something you can do through self-study?”
“Wah! Let's get Seohan into university!!!”
“This is all thanks to my lunchbox!”
Just then, one of the quick-witted self-content team staff members hurried over.
“Hold on.”
After seeing my scores, they apparently sensed danger.
“We'll blur out a few subjects! Don't worry!”
“Which subjects?”
“English!”
Ah.
It looked like they were worried people would accuse us of faking the results,
So they decided to hide the subjects I'd done especially well in....
Hearing that, Jin Sehyun muttered with a serious face,
“Looks like becoming a global idol will be difficult for Seohan....”
Look at him finding the perfect editing point.
This was exactly why I couldn't stand sharp-eyed squirrels.