Chapter 177: To See the Light
Even back when I was an ordinary person, the end of the year always seemed to pass unusually fast.
While getting caught up in the excitement of Christmas, it would suddenly become the very last day of the year, and before I knew it, I’d be greeting the new year in the blink of an eye.
All the more so now that I was an idol—since idols had end-of-year award shows to attend.
The first year-end season after our debut flew by in a total blur.
In the meantime, we proudly won the Rookie of the Year Award at both the SBC Song Awards and the MBS Song Festival.
Aside from a few ceremonies we skipped due to company interests, we had practically swept all the rookie awards that year.
And.
After attending so many ceremonies, I eventually learned how not to cry during my acceptance speeches.
[Who wants to see our Hamjji with teary eyes]
He won the Rookie Award at the SBC Song Awards ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
He looked like he was trying so hard not to cry while giving his speech.
He was trembling and just staring at the camera—
Seohan, are you having a staring contest right now? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
– Wait, he cried like that and then bragged on live that he didn’t cry? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Ah
└ Honestly, at that point, it’s impressive he didn’t break down sobbing… ugh
└ It’s fine, Haim cried hard again today.
└ Our youngest Hamjji’s all grown up ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
– Someone said the members were probably betting on who could hold back tears.
└ Hamjji desperately trying to block his tears.
└ ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Why so serious though.
└ It’s because all the Dusties are teasing him in unison ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
└ It’s okay, Heung-Junseo even has a nickname.
└ Heung-Junseoㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
└ Junseo, sorry.
└ If I were Ha Junseo, I’d be upset—his younger brothers cry way more ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Hmm.
When I searched online, there were a few distorted posts floating around…
Anyway, I didn’t cry.
“Ahem.”
That aside, one thing was certain: we had received far more love than we deserved throughout the year-end season.
My body was exhausted, but it was still a huge blessing just to be invited to so many award shows.
And so, on December 31st—
I ended the year on a high note, listening to the final bell ring while at the Song Awards, wrapping up my debut year in good spirits…
Then, the next morning—
A trial awaited me on the very first day of the new year.
“Ah, this is bad.”
It just so happened that Jin Sehyun and Seo Haim from the Maknae Line became adults that year, which made me the team’s only remaining minor.
Of course, it was immediately brought up during our New Year’s Day live broadcast.
Clap clap clap—
As soon as the live started, Jin Sehyun clapped loudly and called my name.
“Now, everyone! Please welcome the only minor of our team, newly born Do Seohan!”
“…….”
“Oh my~ Seohan, can you already walk?”
“What’s this, Do Seohan can even talk?”
Unbelievable.
All my hyungs started treating me like a newborn foal, leaving me completely speechless.
Kang Siwoo smiled warmly and seated me in the middle.
– ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Ah, the Dusty maknae treatment ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ So funny.
– Come on, you guys are only a few years apart ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Why are they treating him like a baby for real.
– Sehyun and Haim are the most excited, huh? They must think they’re such cool adults now.
– Choco Haim’s shoulders look higher than usual today…?
“How old are you this year, Seohan?”
“Nineteen…”
“Oh my.”
“How could this be!”
Wow, this was infuriating.
Seo Haim gasped dramatically, covering her mouth.
“Seohan can’t even go live after 10 p.m.!”
“Of course, kids need to sleep.”
“To grow taller!”
“Aww, our Seohan can’t drink either, right? During company dinners, sparkling water only for Seohan please!”
They were clearly having the time of their lives.
No one would believe me even if I said I’d already tried most kinds of alcohol years ago, or that convenience store clerks didn’t even card me anymore.
Jin Sehyun nudged Seo Haim in the ribs with his elbow and grinned.
“Haim, let’s drink beer.”
“Ha, then give me a 13-degree beer.”
That’s soju, you idiot.
Being treated like a kid by people like this was enough to make me sigh on its own.
The Dusties watching the live began spamming comments.
– Haimㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ What the hell is a 13-degree beerㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
– Seo Haim, you silly chick… that’s called soju.
– Why’s she so happy to be an adult anyway, give it a few years and she’ll… see more.
– There she goes acting innocent again, when she probably drank plenty before turning 19.
A few troll comments popped up too, but they were quickly buried by fans’ replies.
“Everyone, Seohan doesn’t have long left until he’s an adult either…”
– Noooo Do Hamjji, stay underage forever….
– Make him a high school senior again, please.
– Siwoo, don’t say things like that.
Kang Siwoo smiled as he gave the closing remarks.
“Until our youngest becomes an adult, you all have to stay Dusty, okay?”
“You have to!”
Since it was just a temporary New Year’s Day live, we didn’t plan to go on for long, and the internet connection was unstable anyway, so we couldn’t continue.
The screen switched in a hurry.
“See you next time~!”
“Bye, Dusties!”
Right after the live, I checked my phone and saw a missed call.
[Reporter Lee Doyeon]
Not exactly someone I was thrilled to talk to, but thankfully it turned out to be just a casual check-in call.
Reporter Lee Doyeon’s gentle voice came through first.
“You’ve been so busy lately, haven’t you? How have you been?”
“Yes, well. I’m hanging in there.”
The reason I’d been so busy lately was… probably something she already guessed.
“How about this year’s January 1st dating rumor? Seems like the new year always starts spectacularly, doesn’t it?”
Right—because she had been busy breaking that big celebrity dating story.
As always on January 1st, it had been loud—this time because top actor Choi Ji-hyuk’s relationship news broke out.
His partner was a former girl group idol, and apparently, they’d fallen for each other while working on the same project.
Since morning, every portal site had been buzzing about it.
“It’s been a frenzy.”
“Of course, they’re both so hot right now!”
Reporter Lee Doyeon chuckled softly before saying something rather ominous.
“I just hope the day never comes when Seohan’s name is on a January 1st headline~.”
I ignored that.
With a flat tone, I got to the point.
“So, what did you call about?”
“Oh, nothing serious—just to say hello and ask you to look after our Dokyung since he debuted recently.”
“Ah, right.”
I didn’t bother answering promises I couldn’t keep.
A laugh came through the receiver.
“You’re from the same show after all, but still, you’re his senior by a year! It’s a rough industry, so if something happens, please help him out~.”
If it was Lee Dokyung, he’d handle himself just fine.
She still thought her brother was a regular, soft-hearted celebrity.
“In this rough entertainment world, as long as your brother doesn’t get tangled in a love triangle, he’ll be fine.”
“Oh my.”
Now that I think about it, we hadn’t had overlapping promotions yet, but if we ever met in the waiting room, it would certainly be something to see.
That aside.
I finally understood why Reporter Lee Doyeon had been unusually kind lately.
“Seems like you two are getting along these days.”
Do Seojun and Reporter Lee Doyeon.
At the beginning of their relationship, they fought like they were going to tear each other apart, but lately, things had quieted down.
I hadn’t realized there was such a sad reason behind that.
“We don’t fight because we never see each other! Too busy! Haha.”
“Well, I’m glad things are going well.”
“Oh, by the way, nothing going on with your members, right? If I sense something about to blow up, I’ll give you a little tip.”
It was reassuring to have at least one informant on my side.
I gave her a harmless update, nothing that could cause any trouble.
“I’m resting during the break, and Seongbin-hyung is busy composing.”
When I mentioned that he’d received a producing offer, she replied,
“Oh, look at him go.”
For reference, Do Seojun had reacted the same way.
I could kind of see why those two—who didn’t get along at all—were still together.
Reporter Lee Doyeon added in a cheerful voice,
“Who’s he composing for? Not that I’d understand even if you told me, I know nothing about music.”
“For Han Gabin from BK. Seems he’s releasing a solo album soon.”
“……”
Silence came through the receiver.
That’s… not a good sign.
I readjusted the phone.
“Why?”
“Well… there’s something about to blow up, I think…?”
Her tone grew awkwardly hesitant.
It sounded like a story not yet public, so I swallowed dryly and asked,
“What kind of something?”
“A debt scandal.”
I suddenly remembered the phone call I’d overheard from Han Gabin back during Surviving on a Deserted Island.
He had borrowed money from an acquaintance….
If it was a debt controversy, that meant either he or a family member had borrowed or scammed money and disappeared.
“Hmm….”
I squeezed my eyes shut.
“It’s not official yet, but rumors in this industry tend to be pretty reliable…”
Reporter Lee Doyeon trailed off before carefully continuing.
“They say his father’s been causing problems. Apparently, he owes tens of millions of won.”
“Tens of millions?”
“Yeah, and he even used his son’s name to borrow money. From what I know, it’s not an amount Han Gabin could possibly cover himself.”
“……”
“Be careful too, Seohan. Stuff like this is getting pretty common these days.”
I could already see how things had played out.
So that’s why he’d been so desperate for money.
There really were parents like that in the world.
He probably wanted to cut ties but couldn’t, and instead of giving up, he was trying to bear it all alone—and wasting away in the process.
It explained why his condition had been so bad during the program.
Stress was the root of all illness, after all.
This would definitely put a red flag on Han Gabin’s career, but it wasn’t serious enough for him to be kicked out of his group right away.
From BK’s perspective, it’d be a headache, but over time, people would just go, “Ah, that happened,” and move on.
If he could stay mentally strong, he could continue his career…
But he didn’t.
In the end, Han Gabin couldn’t endure it.
I swallowed hard and muttered,
“So that’s what happened….”
Ah.
It’d be bad if that broke right after his solo debut.
“Seohan, want to listen for a sec?”
“Yes.”
As soon as I stepped into the studio, Cha Seongbin handed me a headset.
On the monitor was a sample audio file, a work-in-progress meant to be sent to A2.
Most likely one of Han Gabin’s solo album tracks.
I put on the headset and listened to Cha Seongbin’s [Unreleased Track 1].
“……”
My thoughts were simple.
Cha Seongbin was being Cha Seongbin.
Was he insane?
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I was just thinking… if we didn’t have you in our team, we’d be doomed.”
Cha Seongbin recoiled with disgust.
“Ew, you’re giving me chills.”
I was serious, though.
He said he’d picked one track from his box of unreleased songs and polished it, but for something prepared in a short time, it sounded incredibly complete.
Having heard BK’s songs a few times while promoting together, I could tell—his style shone through naturally while blending seamlessly with BK’s color.
And above all, it would suit Han Gabin’s tone perfectly.
Cha Seongbin tapped his mouse and asked casually,
“Let’s skip the ‘it’s perfect from start to finish’ line—what do you think could be improved?”
“The main melody line is great, but maybe give the verse a bit more punch.”
“Hmm~.”
He nodded, smiling in satisfaction.
“Right? I thought it felt a little flat.”
“What if you tweak the beat of the chorus and layer it under the verse?”
“…Ah.”
Cha Seongbin’s fingers moved fast across the keyboard.
It seemed my casual suggestion had sparked inspiration.
After a flurry of clicks in his complex composing program, he quickly laid down a new melody beat.
Music flowed from the speakers.
“How is it?”
It worked.
It hit the ear just right.
“Hyung, are you a genius?”
“You’re the genius. Hey Seohan, ever think about learning composition?”
“…Me?”
I gave him a puzzled look at the sudden question.
I thought he was joking, but he looked completely serious.
“You’ve got a knack for it~. Try it sometime. You’ve got a good ear.”
Well, maybe someday.
I nodded with an awkward laugh.
“But, hyung.”
I had come to his studio today for another reason.
Instead of handing this amazing track to Han Gabin, who was basically a ticking time bomb—
I wanted to suggest giving it to a new boy group debuting under A2 instead.
I couldn’t do anything to help Han Gabin’s unfortunate situation, but…
It felt wasteful to let such a good song get buried.
Call it bias, but seeing hyung so excited only to have the release canceled would be unfair.
With a heavy heart, I began cautiously,
“About this song…”
That was when—
Bang!
A loud crash interrupted me as the door burst open.
“Guys, huge news!”
“Excuse me?”
The one who barged in was Kang Siwoo.
And the urgent words that flew from our leader’s mouth were—
“They say we’re having a concert!”