Side Story 02. [After Story] Sid
“Mom, why don’t I have a dad?”
“…”
At her son’s question, Lilly froze.
With his bright green and brown eyes—so much like his father’s—Sid quietly stared at Lilly.
“Hm?”
He tilted his head, genuinely curious.
“Why don’t I have one? Where is Dad?”
“…”
Lilly hesitated for a long moment, unable to respond.Imperial Year 657.
Five years after the final battle with the monstrous beasts.
Southern Empire. Crossroad.
“Sid asked you something like that?”
Evangeline’s mouth fell open in shock as she sat across from Lilly in the lord’s office.
“Lilly, how old is Sid this year?”
“He’s six now.”
“Goodness, already? Time really does fly.”
“Tell me about it. He’s growing so fast…”
Lilly bit her lip gently.
Watching her son grow day by day was her greatest joy and happiness.
But now, alongside that happiness and joy, fear had started to creep in.
“Little by little… he’ll start noticing the things missing in our home, won’t he?”
“…”
“He’ll ask things like where his dad went, or why his mom can’t walk… How do I answer those questions without hurting him? I just don’t know.”
No dad at home. A mom who couldn’t use her legs. And a child of mixed blood.
Their family was undeniably different from what the world considered “normal” or “ordinary.”
How was she supposed to raise Sid in a world like this…?
It was something she’d been grappling with for a long time, but when the reality of it loomed before her, Lilly’s mind went blank.
“And so, I just started venting to you, my lady… Haha. Sorry about that.”
Lilly sighed deeply and picked up the teacup in front of her.
Evangeline looked at Lilly with a new kind of surprise.
It had been five years since the war ended.
In that time, Lilly had been assisting Evangeline, the newly appointed lord, closely. Her exceptional work ethic and extensive network with various production guilds had been an enormous help to Evangeline in her new role.
Over the years, Lilly had served as the senior representative of the Crossroad Mercenary Guild, the spokesperson for the production guilds, and the lord’s aide—all while raising Sid as a single mother.
Not once in all that time had she ever shown signs of weakness.
Yet today, for the first time, she revealed a very human vulnerability.
“Still, it does feel a bit better to let it out. Whew…”
Lilly brushed her hair back and glanced at Evangeline.
“By the way, how’s your family planning coming along, my lady?”
It could’ve been a sensitive topic, but Evangeline had always openly mentioned wanting one son and one daughter. And as the heir to the Cross family, there was always an expectation for her to have descendants.
“The thing is, my heart is all for it, but…”
This time, Evangeline sighed heavily and rested her chin on her hands.
“What’s the point of the flowers blooming so beautifully if no butterflies come to visit? Ugh.”
“Oh dear…”
“I can’t even argue with him about it. He’s always wandering around at the crack of dawn. Where in the world does that man think he’s going?”
As Ash’s knight, Lucas was primarily stationed in the Bringar Duchy.
Fortunately, Bringar and Crossroad weren’t too far apart, so he would usually come home every weekend or during the generous leaves Ash granted him.
But for the past few months, Ash had been exceptionally busy, and Lucas, as his bodyguard, had been just as swamped. All he could manage was to send letters instead of visiting in person.
The last time they’d seen each other was a few months ago. He’d promised to visit soon, but…
Evangeline leaned back, clasping her hands behind her head as she let out another sigh.
“I’ve been trying, but there’s still no news. Oh, speaking of which, your senior and Serenade haven’t had any news of a second generation either.”
Ash and Serenade were also married, but they had no children yet.
Lilly began counting on her fingers.
“It’s been four years since their wedding, right?”
“They got married exactly one year after the war ended, so yeah, it’s been that long.”
It had been a joint wedding for two couples—Ash and Serenade, and Lucas and Evangeline.
As the two women reminisced about that day, their faces turned pale.
“That wedding was… something else.”
“Ahh… it really was…”
It was a truly unforgettable wedding.
Even Evangeline, whose wedding it had been, openly admitted it. That wedding was… legendary, in every sense of the word.
The kind of event everyone avoided bringing up because of how overwhelming it had been…
The two women quickly tried to push the memories of that day out of their minds.
Evangeline flashed Lilly a grin.
“Anyway, despite all our efforts, we haven’t been blessed with a child yet. But Sid? He came to you right away, didn’t he? He’s such a precious and wonderful child.”
“…”
Lilly hesitated, then muttered quietly.
“Not… exactly right away…”
“…Ahem.”
The casual slip into R-rated talk made it clear—both of them were definitely getting older.
“Anyway! Isn’t Sid such a good kid? If you take your time and talk to him, I’m sure he’ll understand your heart.”
“You think so…?”
“Absolutely! He’s so smart, too. He’s already much sharper than other kids his age. He might even figure out some of the things we’re worrying about on his own.”
Evangeline reached out and held Lilly’s hand.
“More than anything, I’ll help with whatever I can! So just tell me, alright? Don’t hesitate.”
“Thank you, my lady.”
If it was Evangeline, she would truly roll up her sleeves and lend a hand.
Knowing that warmed Lilly’s heart, but it also made her chest ache.
No matter how sincere Evangeline’s help was, in the end, she was an outsider.
She was a bystander in the challenges that Lilly and Sid had to face together as mother and son. This was a problem that only the two of them could solve.
Because of that, Lilly was both afraid and… deeply aware.
She couldn’t avoid this issue forever.
Someday, she would have to face it head-on.
Though five years had passed since the war, Crossroad was still a city marked by its scars.
There were many who had lost limbs, lovers, or family members.
In a city like this, being a single mother, being unable to walk, or having a mixed-blood child didn’t particularly stand out. Pain and suffering were everywhere.
At the same time, however, Crossroad had transformed into a new trade hub, where a previously blocked path to the southern continent had been reopened. People of various cultures and races flocked to the city to exchange goods and ideas.
It had become a melting pot where people of all kinds mingled. People connected regardless of race or nationality, and mixed-blood children were no rarity here.
Still, Lilly often felt the weight of biased gazes.
Sympathetic glances of pity, or scornful looks that seemed to regard her as dirty or impure…
If it was like this even in Crossroad, one of the more open-minded places, what would it be like in the wider world?
Thinking of the future Sid would one day have to face made Lilly’s chest tighten and her breath catch.
“Teach me, Kalail…”
That night.
Sitting at her desk, Lilly whispered the name of her husband, who had yet to return. She buried her face in her hands and swallowed her trembling breaths.
“Teach me how to raise our child without you…”
She could still picture his shy smile so vividly in her mind. Suppressing her tears, Lilly murmured in a strained voice.
“Please, teach me…”
No.
Couldn’t he just come back instead?
As if nothing had happened, as if it were all a lie—just come back and be by her side.
Hold her.
Kiss her.
Love her…
‘I miss you so much it’s driving me crazy. I’m so lonely and scared. I’m just an ordinary, weak person…’
The thought of enduring the difficult life that lay ahead made it hard for Lilly to breathe.
It was then.
“Mom?”
Sid appeared at the door to her room, clutching a pillow to his chest. His eyes were sleepy, and he rubbed them softly.
“Mom, are you okay…?”
“…Sweetheart.”
Lilly quickly wiped her tears away, turned toward Sid, and opened her arms.
“I’m fine. Come here.”
With quick little steps, Sid ran to her and flung himself into her arms. Lilly held him close.
Though her son had grown much heavier over the past five years, he still fit perfectly in her embrace.
How long did they stay like that? In his mother’s arms, Sid cautiously whispered.
“I’m sorry, Mom.”
“Hm?”
Lilly blinked in surprise at his sudden apology.
“What are you sorry for?”
“Because… I made you cry when I asked about Dad…”
Sid fidgeted nervously, glancing at Lilly’s expression. His big eyes lowered toward the floor.
“I’m sorry. I won’t ask about him again. So, please don’t cry…”
“…My sweet boy.”
Lilly hugged Sid tightly, then gently sat him down in the chair next to her.
“Sid.”
She locked eyes with her son.
“The reason I haven’t told you about your dad until now… It’s not because it’s a bad story or something to hide.”
Lilly tried her best to smile at her son, who stared at her intently.
“It’s just… some things might be a bit hard for you to understand right now. That’s the only reason I haven’t said anything.”
And then, she made up her mind.
“…From today onward, I’ll start telling you. Little by little. About the kind of person your dad was.”
She decided not to run away from this wall in front of her.
She decided to face it.
To hold her son’s hand and climb over it together.
From that day on, little by little, every day.
Lilly began to tell Sid about Kalail—or rather, Kalthand .
How she first met the elf man. How they didn’t get along at first. But how they eventually opened their hearts to each other.
How they fell in love.
How deeply they loved each other.
And… how the two of them, who had tried so hard for each other, ended up parting ways.
After hearing about Kalail’s final moments, Sid hesitated before carefully asking:
“Then… Dad is… dead?”
“…”
Lilly felt her throat close up.
Yes.
He died in the battle against the Goblin God-King.
At the very end, he inflicted a fatal wound on the Goblin God-King’s left arm. Thanks to that, they were able to win the battle. Even the Crown Prince himself publicly acknowledged Kalail’s sacrifice.
Most importantly, he saved your mother, who was pregnant with you.
Your dad met a heroic end after an incredible act of sacrifice.
That’s what she should say to this child in a mature, composed way.
That’s what she needed to do, but…
“…No.”
Before she knew it, her trembling voice slipped out.
“Your dad isn’t dead. He’s just… gone very far away.”
Kalail was officially listed as missing. His body had never been found.
The number of those declared missing in action during the war against the monstrous beasts was enormous. And in that war, being declared missing was as good as being dead.
That’s why even those missing in action were honored as fallen heroes and granted a resting place in the graveyards. Their families were also entitled to benefits for their sacrifices.
But Lilly refused all of it. She let Kalail remain missing.
She knew full well that being declared missing was practically the same as being dead.
She also knew that the man was a liar.
— I’ll definitely come back.
— Before winter ends, I promise.
Yet, she still couldn’t let go of the last promise he had left behind.
Sid, with his eyes wide and round, asked again.
“Then… will Dad come back?”
“…”
Lilly’s breath caught in her throat.
She wasn’t unaware that what she clung to was a futile hope. She knew it might only inflict deeper wounds on her child.
But.
But…
“Mom…”
She couldn’t lie to her own heart.
“Mom still believes he will.”
Five years since the final war.
Seven years since the battle with the Goblin God-King.
“Mom wants to believe he will come back.”
Even now.
She was still waiting for him.
Sid silently watched his mother, who was on the verge of tears, for a long moment.
“…Then I’ll believe it too.”
Sid walked closer and wrapped his arms tightly around his mother.
“I’ll believe Dad will come back someday.”
“…”
Hearing her son’s innocent voice, Lilly felt a sharp, piercing pain deep in her chest.
She pulled Sid into a tight embrace and silently sobbed.
“I’m sorry, my son. I’m sorry your mom is so stubborn, so foolish…”
As if trying to comfort his crying mother, Sid’s small hand carefully patted Lilly’s back.
The mother and son stayed like that for a long time, holding each other close.
Even as yet another winter ended and a new spring arrived, they both longed for the man who hadn’t returned.
–TL Notes–
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