In fact, from the first time I strengthened Spirit Mountain's blessing and was able to communicate with my senior disciples, I had also thought about Senior Brother He Lou. If he wasn't my enemy, if he wasn't one of the demon kings of this world, it would've been him who gave this matter deep thought before offering advice.
That didn't mean I had a deeper bond with him than the others, though. It was a simple difference in temperament. Most of the other disciples, including myself, tended to be independent. Even our master, Bai Luguang, was no exception.
If any of us ever took in disciples in the future, we would likely pass on our teachings the same way we'd been taught—in a slightly neglectful manner.
Senior Brother He Lou was different. He knew how to think from the perspective of a learner and preferred a systematic method of teaching.
Even so, he set up things so that I could find the answer on my own at the crucial moment. He wasn't someone who led from far ahead, but someone who walked alongside you. That was the Senior Brother He Lou I remembered.
[The Colorless Demon King is watching you.]
In the next moment, the blue message window where the message appeared turned black, then grew to envelop the space around me. I soon found myself standing in a black void. In the darkness all around me, only a single ghostly flame flickered.
Inside the green flame, small leaves were constantly fluttering, burning, and crumbling to ash.
I knew that the flame was Senior Brother He Lou. I didn't know if it was his will, his true form, or just a symbolic manifestation, but I understood his intention. He didn't seem to want anyone to hear our conversation.
"Is this the second time we've faced each other? Of course, we aren't really meeting face-to-face this time," I said.
[...]
"It has been a few months since we ran into each other in that hell or whatever, but it feels like a long time ago. Do you feel that way too, Senior Brother He Lou?"
Strangely, no answer came back. He wasn't the talkative type, but he also wasn't the type to ignore someone outright.
I stared into the blurry, swaying flame and muttered, "I don't know what you're thinking."
My honest feelings and inner thoughts naturally slipped out as if I had been waiting for this moment. "It isn't just now, but in every moment. Why were you expelled, Senior Brother He Lou? Why did you steal our master's Spirit Pill? Do you hate our master? Then do you hate us too? What exactly is the Colorless Demon King, and what is the Nameless King?"
Sometimes, my questions were layered with subconscious speculation. Before I knew it, those layers became solid enough to almost be called a conclusion.
"In this world, the Colorless Demon King didn't exist originally. Meanwhile, the Nameless King was a historical figure who laid the foundation of the empire while I was living as a loser. Does that mean you were a person from the same world as me from the beginning?"
I realized while I was talking that I couldn't hear a single answer in response to the questions I'd just asked. Senior Brother He Lou was unusually quiet.
The person who once listened to my nonsense, my scoldings, and my angry shouts was now letting my sincere questions enter one ear and go out the other. That was how it felt, at least.
Still, I couldn't bring myself to stop talking. "After going back to the past and gradually learning more about you, paradoxically, I've started to feel like I understand you even less. Sometimes, I feel like the Senior Brother He Lou I remember was just an illusion."
Clearly, this man was a mysterious person. He had a lot of secrets and didn't enjoy talking about himself.
Even so, I'd never once doubted his true nature. I believed that whatever lay behind his embarrassed smile would surely be something good.
The most ridiculous thing was that those thoughts hadn't changed even now.
"Do you dislike talking about the past? Okay. Let's talk about the present. Regarding your words earlier, was that advice or a threat?"
[It is up to you as to which way you accept it.]
For the first time, Senior Brother He Lou replied. I felt a bit angry, but I still waited for the next words.
[You will also have to bear the consequences of your choice.]
"Then why did you suddenly appear? Wasn't it to help me?"
I unknowingly gripped the hilt of the Yin-Yang Dao hanging at my waist.
"It's just like in the Otherworld."
[...]
"Is it hard to say what you're thinking? It seems as if you're afraid to show your true feelings. Do you want to help me but you don't want to show it? Are you afraid I'll take it as an act of kindness?"
It would be incredibly embarrassing if I was mistaken, but I had already said it, so I kept going.
"I saw the illusion Hadenaihar showed me in the Otherworld. The damn demon kings covet me. What is this? I've never been popular in my life. Is the peak of my life due to demons courting me? Damn."
As I talked, the absurdity of it hit me again and I couldn't help laughing.
"However, you showed up and cut them down."
[...]
"Was it all Hadenaihar's fabrication? I don't think so. There's no reason for it to be. So, when I think about you protecting me, there are many things that make sense. First of all, the reason why I was made a Colorless priest was to protect me from the demon kings, right?"
I stared at the flame.
"Well, it doesn't matter if you don't answer me. If you don't, I'll just interpret it in a good way for me. By the way, are all your followers like that? I heard there are ten in total. Honestly, just the first one is overwhelming. If there are nine more similar people, I think I might get a headache."
I had always been the talkative type, and I did tend to talk to myself a lot. I'd just never talked to myself for so long in recent times. Of course, if someone was listening, was this really talking to myself?
In any case, my scattered thoughts, my current state, and my current situation all started to pile up, causing me to laugh like a madman.
"You won't answer this either, right? It doesn't matter. I'll just interpret things however it suits me."
[I know your temperament better than anyone.]
Senior Brother He Lou finally spoke.
[I also know that if I step forward and give you advice, you won't accept it obediently.]
"Then why did you bother to say it?"
[Who knows? Maybe this is also my own greed.]
"Greed?"
[You will keep changing. As you believe what you think is right, you will change those around you. It is just like what you did with us.]
"I don't remember ever changing the people around me."
[That is what you think. But we...]
We? I wondered.
Senior Brother He Lou trailed off for a moment before murmuring in a voice filled with longing.
[We didn't interact much before you came.]
I listened silently.
[We were just possibilities gathered by Bai Luguang from different worlds. Even if we belonged to the same sect, we couldn't be called fellow disciples in a true sense. We knew nothing about each other, nor did we care about each other.]
I was hearing about this for the first time in my life, so I fell silent.
[Then one day, you appeared. The last disciple of Bai Luguang. A stubborn, clumsy, weak, and arrogant kid.]
For a moment, I felt as if the ominous light emitted by the flame had become warm. It was a warmth I had never felt once since coming to the north, and it started from a flame that was too small to be called candlelight.
The flame soon showed the past.
[A child who couldn't even walk steadily was placed on a perilous cliff. That naturally caught my eye.]
"Ah."
I saw a man with messy hair and a face twisted with anger. He looked like he had been bathing in muddy water, and looked completely shabby and worn out. It was me, right after I arrived at Spirit Mountain.
I slipped and almost fell while going down the mountain to find food, I barely escaped a powerful beast I had never seen before, and I chewed on an unknown herb only to find out it was poisonous.
After finally waking up, I tried fishing at a spring halfway up the mountain. I wasted three days before finally catching a single minnow, causing me to cry tears of joy.
I missed those times, but I didn't want to go back to them.
I also saw something I hadn't noticed back then. My three senior disciples were looking down at the pitiful Luan Badniker from the peaks of different mountains.
[We couldn't just watch a person die, so our intervention was inevitable. We all helped you in our own way.]
The moment I slipped and nearly fell, Senior Sister Tian waved her fan and a gust of wind blew, pushing me back onto the cliff.
The monstrous beast that had been hunting me was pierced and killed by an energy sphere shot by Senior Brother Arang.
Senior Brother He Lou carefully moved me, after I collapsed from the poisonous herb, to a safe place and fed me herbal medicine until I started to regain consciousness.
I also saw my third senior releasing fish into the spring, which previously had no fish.
It was a truth I never would've dreamed of. I'd thought I survived on my own, but that wasn't the case.
Thinking about it now, it seemed obvious. Even now, Spirit Mountain was a place shrouded in mystery and danger. It was a forbidden zone like none other in the world. Yet the C-class mercenary Luan Badniker had managed to survive there for months.
[We watched you from a distance, sometimes helping you in secret. Eventually, we started running into each other. I thought it would be awkward, but it wasn't. We didn't have a single thing in common, but by that time, we already had a common topic.]
I kept listening.
[We started talking about the youngest disciple. We also talked about your aptitude. We discussed how to make you stronger. Then at some point, we revealed ourselves to you and you welcomed us with joy, happy to see us.]
It was natural to have been happy. At that time, I'd thought that I was the only one living on Spirit Mountain except for the master.
Compared to the monstrous beasts that tried to kill me, I hadn't been wary of the blind woman with the iron fan, the eccentric man dressed in materials I had never seen before, the golem with a steel body, or the young man with a hazy impression. Back then, I was just happy about the fact that I had someone to talk to.
[You brought us together when we didn't know each other. You called us your seniors.]
It was only then that the four senior disciples looked at each other with embarrassed expressions. They had been aware of each other's existence for a long time, but this was the first time they truly acknowledged each other.
[It was the moment we truly became fellow disciples.]
The flame flickered precariously. This movement felt like Senior Brother He Lou was smiling slightly.
At this moment, for the first time since coming to the past, I felt like I had come into contact with how Senior Brother He Lou truly was. No matter his purpose or his true goal, at the very least, the affection he had for his fellow disciples wasn't false.
Still, I couldn't feel at ease. There was something missing in Senior Brother He Lou's words.
[You will keep growing stronger, right?]
"Yes. I believe I will."
[Yes. But I wish you would stop growing stronger.]
I froze when I heard those words. I asked hesitantly, "What do you mean?"
[I'm sorry.]
"Huh?" I reflexively asked what he meant when I heard Senior Brother He Lou's sudden apology.
At the same time, I realized that the conversation couldn't continue any further. The darkness surrounding me was vanishing like a curtain being drawn away.
I was alone in a shabby room again. I couldn't hold back my sigh.
"Did any of you hear that conversation just now?" I asked my senior disciples just in case, but I didn't receive an answer.
"Senior Sister Tian? Senior Brother Arang?" They didn't respond even when I called them again.
What? Is this the end of the conversation? Is it due to Senior Brother He Lou suddenly intervening?
"Ugh."
I held my head and collapsed on the bed. I hadn't done anything, so why was I so exhausted?
For a moment, I forgot about my situation and was overwhelmed by the strong desire to do absolutely nothing. I twisted on the bed and grumbled to myself.
Before I could immerse myself in this mood, the window suddenly shattered and something flew in. It flew straight toward my face, so I hurriedly grabbed the mysterious object. It had a rough texture.
"A stone?"
I rolled the crude stone around in my palm with a dazed expression. Outside, I could sense the presence of hostile people.
No way, already?
I assumed it was an attack from the church members and quickly pressed against the window to scan the outside. The sight that greeted me was somewhat unexpected.
"What is this?"