Sorry for disappear in these 2 weeks. My laptop charger blown up, and it also effect my laptop. This update come from my friend's laptop.
While determining the constraints, I made a jest to myself.
I thought that if I lost my sight, taste, smell, couldn’t speak, and lived a life marked by an expiration date, I might just die off.
How could one possibly live normally? I joked that it might actually be a blessing to be euthanized peacefully without the ability to watch YouTube, taste delicious food, or smell the scent of flowers.
Yeah.
It was just a joke.
Just what would I do if my game character experienced all this? It was nothing more than a fleeting fancy, a speck of dust of imagination. I didn’t think for a second that it would actually happen while I was chiding myself for such thoughts.
But it happened.
I had entered the world within the game.
If you ask why I felt this way, there’s only one answer I could give.
I just knew. Upon waking up, I inexplicably found myself certain that this place was the world within the game, despite the lack of any concrete evidence—just this strange conviction.
And despite opening my eyes, I couldn’t see anything. My body felt foreign, and I lacked strength. I could sense intangible… somethings swirling endlessly around me.
And then.
‘Aaaaaah─!!’
An unimaginable agony, daring not to be compared to any headache I’d ever had, scalded my brain as if molten metal were being poured into an open skull.
I’ve never been the pinnacle of health, but at least my life wasn’t so pitifully harsh to deserve pity.
I had never felt such pain.
It was beyond my meager tolerance. Writhing as if being ejected from the bed, my mouth involuntarily opened, and a scream erupted.
‘What, what is this…!’
I could see myself convulsing. The bed where I lay, the bedside table, the desk, and the monitor, all of which were different in make and placement. The insides of the computer’s central unit, the building’s steel and cement…
The steel framework and electrical wires inside the walls, the appearance of the neighboring house beyond those walls.
The flickering traffic lights, the reflections in glass windows under the sun, the swaying leaves of street trees, the people walking down the road.
Their insides, their skeletons, bundles of muscles, organs, the spread of their blood vessels…
‘Aargh…!’
A barrage of information about everything within a spherical area with me at the center crammed directly into my brain.
I don’t know this sensation. Having lived a lifetime receiving information through my eyes, never once had I experienced such a thing.
Every time this unending wave of information hammered my brain, a stabbing pain pierced my head as if by an awl.
‘Aaaaargh─!’
Nothing came out. My mouth had opened. Surely I had tried to scream. But each time, my throat would close up and the agonizing sensation would intensify.
‘Why, why is this happening? Why does it hurt so much?’
Even as I writhed in pain, thoughts continued to race without end.
The answer was quickly surmised.
Something spherical, centered on me… every detail within that range was discerned.
This must be the spatial perception ability I’d chosen.
It matched the description of spatial perception I had seen within the game.
The claim that one possesses overwhelmingly powerful spatial awareness.
From the human perspective, with only a couple of eyes, acquiring all information directly within a sphere centered around oneself is an absurd advantage.
Especially so on the frontlines of close-quarters combat.
However, the problem is that my brain isn’t superior enough to process the information provided by that spatial awareness.
To put it simply, there’s too much information being crammed and my brain is signaling danger.
And then, there was something more ethereal and flowing, gathering in one place then dispersing elsewhere, a definitely existent but intangible something.
This must be magic power. It’s the first time I’m sensing this energy and information. Once this too fell under the range of my spatial perception, it compounded the pain.
But because it’s my first time processing such information, my brain does not know how to cut it off. Hence, this vicious cycle of continuous pain repeats.
‘This, this bullshit…!!’
And it wasn’t just that.
I wasn’t the kind of great person who could endure brain-scratching pain; I had to open my mouth and let a scream escape, but besides the abilities ‘Spatial Perception’ and ‘Magic Affinity,’ I had another restriction.
‘Curse of Silence’
A constraint simply described as having difficulty speaking, just a minor reduction in interactions.
The screams don’t come out. Because screams are, in the end, also sounds produced by the mouth.
Because of the ‘Curse of Silence,’ all ‘speech’ is forcibly halted immediately before it escapes.
The problem is that speech doesn’t just stop gently.
It’s forcibly halted with pain inflicted on the throat.
It feels as if someone is scraping at my throat with a knife.
On top of the headache, I feel the pain as if my throat is being gouged out.
So.
Spatial perception receives information.
↓
The brain suffers pain because of excessive information.
↓
However, my novice brain doesn’t know how to filter information, so pain persists.
↓
Pain causes a scream to burst out.
↓
Due to ‘Curse of Silence,’ pain is inflicted on the throat.
This state continues. The cycle of pain repeats. Inaudible screams are swallowed again and again.
‘I’m going to die.’
It feels like I might actually die of shock. With such intense suffering, it’s normal to pass out sooner, but curiously, I haven’t fainted.
Before long, I found myself crawling on the floor. Writhing like an insect, I was in agony.
‘I’m going to die.’
I can’t cry out for help because I have no voice. If I could just let out a loud scream, help might arrive from somewhere.
My phone? I couldn’t see it inside the house. In my current state, I can barely even crawl on the floor.
‘I’m… dying.’
The debate about euthanasia isn’t for nothing. Being alive can sometimes be a pain. That’s why one might even wish for death, right?
That’s the situation I’m in. Barely even five minutes have passed, but it feels as if my brain is cooking. The pain that’s inflicted on my throat now feels as if my neck is worn ragged.
It’s almost as if my head is being torn straight off. I would rather be torn up and just die…
If I just died like this…
…
‘I don’t… want that.’
It hurt enough to want to die. Yet, when the moment came, I didn’t want to die.
Though the pain made me feel like dying was better, as my consciousness began to blur, a contrary feeling washed over me—I didn’t want to die.
There’s so much more I want to do.
I haven’t even lived half of a half of a century yet.
‘Think.’
Pain in the throat. Screaming triggers the activation of ‘Curse of Silence.’
I am screaming because my brain feels like it’s burning.
My brain is hurting because there’s too much information from spatial perception.
‘That’s it.’
Spatial perception is the problem. If I manage to take care of this bastard, the catalyst for the chain reaction disappears.
I need to do something about spatial perception. Reduce the range drastically or let the information flow out.
I focus.
I will the spatial perception to diminish, to disappear and to just let the information flow by.
As I hope to ignore useless, inconsequential things like dust in the corner, the spatial perception quivers unstably for an instant.
Soon enough, the perfectly spherical space perception started to crumple and fold like a piece of paper, then stretch out again and again.
Triangles, squares, pentagons—shapes morphing into unnameable objects then crumpling and flattening out once more.
The vision that seemingly processed every single cell switched to one seen from the sky above, then to a view as if through night-vision goggles.
‘…! …! …!!’
As the volume of information increased exponentially with each change, my consciousness finally snapped.
* * *
‘That was ten days ago.’
Thinking back on it now, it still sends shivers down my spine.
Being unfairly thrown into the game was aggravating enough, but to almost die upon arrival?
If I had perished in such a manner, there’s no way I would have found peace in the afterlife.
Regardless, after I fainted, I didn’t come to until I had been out cold for three whole days.
Had there been no voice alarm on that old clock, I wouldn’t have had any clue how long I’d been unconscious.
‘Phew…’
While soothing my raging insides, I tuned the spatial perception—a range barely enough to make out my room. The diameter must be about 5 meters or so, give or take.
Thanks to the excruciating pain, memories were hazy, but considering that it was roughly 100 meters in diameter when it first manifested, I had managed to shrink it down to 1/20th of its original size.
Perhaps consciously or subconsciously, the process of reducing incoming information started by minimizing the range.
Maybe it’s like when a company’s in trouble and they start cutting labor costs first.
Trouble is, cost-reduction didn’t stop there.
I heaved an internal sigh as I surveyed the world as perceived by my spatial awareness.
A world monochromatic in black. Physical matters were represented solely by surfaces in shades of green.
The display resembled that of a military radar seen in the media, a combination of colors and forms similar to that. I wonder if this is the kind of sensation a bat feels when perceiving the world with ultrasonic waves.
Compared to the initial spatial perception that voraciously absorbed all information within its range, it has now excessively shrunk down in scale.
Back then, it even captured information like the result cells in the muscles of my body, even beyond a single speck of dust, but now I can only make out the surfaces.
Moreover, it was fixed in this state and it wouldn’t even change.
I can adjust the size somewhat, reducing and enlarging it.
But being constantly aware of spatial perception, frankly, I feel like I might get neurosis.
‘F**k…’
When I first… no, when I woke up three days after fainting, imagine the shock.
As soon as I woke up, I honestly thought I was going to die when I felt my belly stick to my back.
Thinking about how, after almost exploding my brain with pain, I almost died again from hunger and dehydration, still gives me the creeps.
They say survival is only possible for three days without water… I was moments away from becoming a real mummy.
Strange to say, I know.
Wherever this place is, surely there must be some kind of consumable food at home.
Even if there weren’t any, I could just go out and buy some.
The problem is that I can only see outlines, so I’m incapable of distinguishing what is what.
Imagine the experience of having to grope and crawl around with a belly stuck to the skin, driven by the terror of possibly dying of starvation or heat exposure.
‘I feel like I’m going to get PTSD.’
I seriously think I might go insane…
Even now my head hurts, though not as much as ten days ago… But in the past, it would have been just enough for me to freak out and roll around in agony.
To think I’ve gained a tolerance to this sort of discomfort is crazy.
Heaving a deep sigh, I looked over at… rather, sensed the table.
On the table was a delivery box, containing a few sheets of paper and a device resembling a watch.
Obviously, being blind as a bat, I couldn’t see the package. If the delivery person hadn’t informed me where it came from, I wouldn’t have known its origin.
‘Notice of special admission to Shio-ram’
Shio-ram.
The main stage for part one of the main storyline in the novel.
An island placed in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, with the Tower of Growth at its center, it’s the world’s top-notch institution for the nurturing of superhumans.
A facility that combines magic with the latest science and technology.
And high-quality lectures were conducted by active and retired world-class superhumans.
Not to mention countless other features that make Shio-ram an institution introduced as the world’s best without any shortage in accolades.
About 600 cadets are admitted each year.
Of those, 90% pass through regular exams, while 10% are admitted with the recommendations of influential external forces and internal professors of Shio-ram.
The former and the latter are both legitimate methods of enrolment, but there’s also ‘special admission.’
Special admittees don’t need to take exams. They don’t need a powerful backing force. Nor have they been recommended by internal professors.
They just need to show up.
‘Haah…’
If this were a game, it would simply be seen as a setup for the player to enter the stage… but contemplating this as reality is a bit grim.
The problem is my current state as the person specially and oh-so specially supposed to enrol through this special admission.
With a mind throbbing constantly from spatial perception and a mouth that pays a price for even a little babbling, I’m a mute.
At the same time, I’m a blind man who cannot see properly and a terminally ill person who’d be lucky to live another 10 years.
The sensory deprivation of taste and smell is a bonus.
Here’s the state of affairs for me.
As an institution boasting the world’s highest standards, the level of its lectures is bound to be nothing short of that.
Before considering enrolling, the question is if I can handle its difficulty.
‘……’
But the answer is decided.
‘…I have to go.’
Do I have the confidence to endure awful conditions and eventually succeed? No, I never was someone brimming with self-confidence.
I was someone whose joy in life was to watch YouTube, nibble on tasty treats, sip drinks, and grow plants on the balcony.
Even if I have abilities like spatial perception, Jack of All Trades, and magic affinity, at the core, I’m still a lone nerd, an internet addict.
Yet, I still have to go.
Before coming to this world. The thoughts I had while setting my character’s constraints.
Saying that if I have to live my whole life without YouTube, without being able to taste food or smell anything, why bother living at all.
I still hold that thought. I think it would be better to just die than live like that.
But I don’t want to die. Why should I have to die?
It’s a simple issue.
It’s better to die than live a life like that. But then again, I don’t want to die.
So, I want to live like before.
Is this just a world?
It’s a world within a game, but… it’s also a world where magical abilities truly exist.
There’s got to be something for sure. Some way to shake off these constraints.
Even in the game, it was like this.
The term ‘semi-permanent’ often appears in the descriptions of the constraints for a reason.
As the story progresses, as the character grows, there will surely be ways to shed those constraints.
Shio-ram is precisely the right place to find such ways and the venue to gain the necessary strength to do so.
I made up my mind last night.
I firmly nodded my head and opened the box.
.
.
.
‘But how do I get there?’
I ran into an obstacle from the start.