I Miss You So Much
"【A-Yan】..."
"【A-Yan】!"
Bursts of calling sounding beside Chen Ling's ear. He abruptly opened eyes.
A youth wearing cotton-padded clothes currently standing beside bed. Patted his shoulder. "【A-Yan】, wake up."
In Chen Ling's sleep-heavy eyes' gaze. Seeing another young "Chen Ling". Currently taking piece by piece neatly folded clothes putting beside his bed. One side saying,
"Today 【Brother】 must go to 【District 2】's hospital a trip. Clothes giving you placed here. Inside steamer has steamed buns. You yourself at home properly's. Know ma? Today outside very cold. In a while we left. You can again sleep more a while."
This is... oneself?
No. This is before oneself 【Transmigration】's. Native's "Chen Ling". Chen Ling instantly then recognized the identity of that person in front of eyes.
Chen Ling blanked a bit. Because this voice is transmitting out from his throat inside.
Wait...
Following tearing-like pain in mind retreating. Chen Ling's memory gradually repaired. He recalled before oneself fainted what happened. A thought suddenly surging up in mind.
Oneself... this is substituted into 【Chen Yan】's memory?
Youth paused a moment. Slightly a smile. Using hand touching 【Chen Yan】's hair,
"No. Only is going to re-examine a bit."
"Oh... then when coming back?"
"Afternoon ba. Coming back eating dinner."
"Okay."
Finished instructing after. Youth then walking out room. Before closing door seeing still having two adults following beside him leaving. Looking at back figures like parents.
【Chen Yan】 sitting on bed. Looking at those several figures leaving. Waiting until main door closing. He also moreover didn't continue sleeping back. But is looked at time. Beginning silently wearing clothes.
Chen Ling looking at everything in front of eyes. Feeling somewhat wonderful. He still is first time using this kind of perspective going to watch memory. Just like watching movie generally. Able to use "【Chen Yan】"'s perspective seeing picture. Hearing sound. But no way to proactively observe surrounding...
However. Oneself how would suddenly substitute into 【Chen Yan】's memory?
Is that mirror's strength?
In his perspective inside. 【Chen Yan】 seriously finished wearing clothes. Then getting off bed washing up,
This time also exactly morning five o'clock around. Outside still is pitch-black a piece. Cold wind mixed with flying snow. Drilling into inside room from house's gap inside. Emitting wuwu sound.
【Chen Yan】 made a shiver. Yet moreover didn't anew drilling into blanket. But is simply ate a steamed bun. Then quick steps running back inside room. From inside hugging out a small box. Opening on dining table...
Inside are one by one tools used for makeup.
【Chen Yan】 one side taking own hair netting up. One side clearing throat,
"【Icy Moon Over the Sea】 beginning to turn and soar~ seeing Jade Rabbit. Jade Rabbit again early rising in the east. That icy moon leaving sea island. Heaven and earth exceptionally bright. Bright moon hanging in the sky. Exactly just like Chang'e leaving Moon Palace. I like Chang'e leaving Moon Palace. Very much like Chang'e descending nine heavens. Cold and clear~ falling in Guanghan Palace. Ah. In Guanghan Palace."
Melodious and clear 【Singing】 vocal. Sounding in severe winter's dawn. Echoing in nobody's dilapidated house. And on top of dim street.
Chen Ling stayed.
This paragraph of 【Singing】 words. Exactly is he several days ago at 【Mo Jue】 there sang an afternoon all didn't sing right several notes' that paragraph. And this moment in 【Chen Yan】's mouth. Yet so natural and melodious. Even compared to 【Mo Jue】 personally 【Singing】's still having several points more agile.
Not having a wrong note. Rhythm and strength between every one word grasping perfectly. And this still only is he one side making up. One side killing time's casually a 【Singing】... But this level. Chen Ling even if again practicing thirty years. Also may not be able to catch up.
"This exactly is talent me..." Chen Ling in heart sighed a breath of air.
Heavy snow fluttering. 【Chen Yan】 sitting alone inside room. Facing yellowed bronze mirror. Seriously sketching makeup on face.
About several tens of minutes. A handsome youth then leaving table side. Changing into the piece of 【Great Crimson Theatrical Robe】 inside room. Like a light red butterfly. Pushing door and going out.
He passing through nobody's street. Facing eastern partially hidden partially visible fish belly white walking towards 【Wilderness】. Flying snow brushing past youth's clothes hem. Taking that piece of 【Great Crimson Theatrical Robe】 dyeing on a smear of snow white.
Chen Ling knows he wanting to go where. In his memory inside. He often would accompany 【Chen Yan】 arriving there practicing traditional opera. Basically regardless of wind blowing raining. All won't be absent.
【Chen Yan】 stepping on nobody 【Wilderness】. Deeply breathing a mouthful of air. Beginning in snow pacing turning circles.
He posing posture. Staring eyes. As if this moment not is in nobody 【Wilderness】. But is already ascending a 【Stage】 full of 【Audience】. After going around a circle at edge of 【Stage】. Returning to center standing firm.
He loudly 【Singing】 said:
"Seeing Great King inside tent sleeping steadily with clothes on. I here going out of tent temporarily scattering sorrowful feelings. Lightly moving steps walking towards front middle courtyard. Slowly taking steps executing penal law to determine crime..." (Note 1)
This is a play without 【Audience】. Without partner's monodrama. Exactly like 【Chen Yan】 these years alone intoxicating in opera's life.
Chen Ling following 【Chen Yan】's footsteps. In flying snow lightly dancing up. Vision, hearing, touch, smell. Their everything overlapping each other. His limbs as if thoroughly with 【Chen Yan】 fusing into one body. Following lips opening closing. He already couldn't distinguish the voice currently singing opera. Is oneself or is 【Chen Yan】...
They as if originally exactly are one body.
Melodious 【Opera Vocals】 gradually dissipating. That suit of red clothes quietly standing still in flying snow inside. Already full head is sweat... He lightly panting thick air. Patted small face blown totally red by cold wind. Slowly stepping towards one side's river side walking going.
Clear river water soundlessly flowing in world of ice and snow. That suit of red clothes arriving on top of the 【Stone Stool】 ordinarily people using to wash vegetables. Standing at the center of entire river;
He lightly squatting down body. That piece of 【Great Crimson Theatrical Robe】 like a drop of red ink. Fainting open on river surface...
He looking at oneself in reflection inside. Lightly blinked eyes;
"【Brother】. Did you learn it?"
Weng——
Inside Chen Ling's mind Weng's one sound. Like awaking from a big dream. Until this moment. He only then from just now's "substituting into" returning to senses... He almost then really thought oneself is "【Chen Yan】".
On sparkling water surface. Countless things like mirror pieces tumbling rolling. Reflection originally belonging to him. Gradually replacing into Chen Ling's appearance.
This moment. Chen Ling's consciousness abruptly sinking. As if falling through mirror-like water surface. Returning to "Chen Ling"'s reflection inside.
He looking at water surface reflection inside. The red clothes 【Chen Yan】 looking at oneself. Shocked to for a long while couldn't speak words coming out;
【Chen Yan】 knew just now oneself is inside his memory?
No. Not right... This fundamentally pure memory. This is he and 【Chen Yan】 subconscious's 【Fusion】? In the deepest place of this body. 【Chen Yan】 still existing? He is helping oneself?!
Chen Ling's mind buzzing sounding. He wanting to ask something. Between a moment yet again didn't know should how to open mouth.
At the same time,
In reflection inside. 【Chen Yan】 slowly reaching out hand. Like wanting to pass through water surface. Touching Chen Ling's cheeks... His eyes inside full of longing and gentleness:
"【Brother】... I miss you so much."
...
...
Note 1: Selected from "【Farewell My Concubine】"