“What actually?” Vanessa tilted her head, pretending not to understand.
“...” Mirexia remained silent for a long time before squeezing out a sentence. “I’m sorry, I’ve been acting strange lately. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me.”
“If my recent behavior has been troubling you, please don’t mind it.” As she spoke, Mirexia lowered her gaze slightly, afraid that Vanessa might reject her and drift away.
In fact, she despised herself right now. She couldn’t understand why she had become like this, why she instinctively craved these things??
Mirexia was lost in self-doubt. Now that things were out in the open, she felt guilty about her actions and couldn’t comprehend why she would think of such embarrassing, far-fetched things.
She was the princess of the Camella Kingdom, the future queen of Camella. How could she do something that would betray the expectations of her people??
“Princess Mirexia, really, don’t you understand what I mean yet?” Vanessa turned around, leaned closer to Mirexia, and boldly reached out to gently lift the golden-haired girl’s chin.
“Why would I be troubled by this? You’re my childhood friend, my Mirexia.”
Mirexia’s gaze was locked, with nowhere to escape. She could only stare into that face, so beautiful it could make the cherry blossoms of April feel ashamed. In an instant, she was submerged in that peach-colored pool of flowers, unable to extricate herself.
‘Virtue +70.’
‘Current Virtue: 10504.’
“No matter what, I could never hate you,” Vanessa said word by word. In Mirexia’s eyes, the alluring peach-shaped eyes were filled with affection, drowning her in a pool of intoxication.
The warmth of tenderness and compassion, like a mother’s unconditional love, struck her heart. Mirexia knew she was about to drown but didn’t want to struggle, letting herself sink deeper.
“I know Princess Mirexia has always been a hardworking child. Since childhood, you’ve shouldered responsibilities that weren’t yours, striving tirelessly to meet the expectations of the entire nation, abandoning all personal feelings and desires. As soon as you reached adulthood, you had to bear the weight of the entire country.” Vanessa gently stroked Mirexia’s cheek, her tone as gentle as a goddess guiding a devout believer seeking redemption.
“Don’t be troubled by these things. In fact, this might not be a bad thing. In the past, you were like a machine without personal feelings, working tirelessly without rest. I was worried that one day this machine would break down. Now, you finally have a bit more of the humanity that a flesh-and-blood person should have.”
“Every person has a glamorous side, but also a darker, hidden side. This is normal. We can’t expect anyone’s heart to be flawless. You’re not, and neither am I. Or rather, as long as you’re human, your heart can’t be perfect. That belongs to the ‘gods.’”
“Actions speak louder than intentions. Even the most virtuous people, blessed by the goddess, have their dark sides. The difference is that their dark sides don’t harm others, so they can still be called devout.”
Listening to Vanessa’s soft words, Mirexia felt the darkness and ice that had suddenly climbed her heart slowly melt away under the radiance emanating from the cherry-haired girl.
The sacred girl exuded a gentle tolerance, like a mother’s love, pure enough to forgive any of her willfulness and mistakes.
Mirexia had been raised as the future queen of Camella since childhood. To outsiders, she appeared strong-willed, highly charismatic, and capable of demonstrating powerful leadership and personal abilities in the face of any difficulty.
As a queen, she could never show weakness to anyone, whether in private or in public. Otherwise, her vulnerabilities would be exposed. This was an important lesson taught by her royal tutor in the study of monarchy.
But today, she found herself unconsciously wanting to act spoiled in front of this girl, to reveal the hardships and struggles she had endured over the years.
Vanessa seemed to sense this too, guiding Mirexia and pulling her into an embrace.
Warm jade met soft curves, and Mirexia’s usually calm and composed expression melted like an iceberg, softening. Gone was the decisiveness and strength of the past, replaced by tenderness and vulnerability.
At this moment, she seemed to have returned to that little girl who yearned for a mother’s love, longing to lie in her mother’s arms and act spoiled.
What she had lacked in her childhood was now fulfilled.
“But so many people are counting on me, the people are expecting me, and yet I’ve had these unreasonable, strange thoughts.” Due to their height difference, Mirexia’s chin rested on Vanessa’s fragrant shoulder. With each breath, she could smell the lavender and white camellia scent of Vanessa’s hair. Her restless heart inexplicably calmed down, yet it also throbbed with a newfound flutter.
“You’ve completely misunderstood, Mirexia. As a leader, public virtue and private life have always been separate. Throughout history, no one knew the personal lives of the saints, kings, or emperors, but that didn’t stop them from becoming wise rulers, praised by millions, and leaving a legacy for generations.”
“Do you understand? What people care about is your public virtue and abilities. Only those who can truly achieve great things are considered benevolent and virtuous rulers. As for the rest, that’s your personal business. You’re human, not a machine. You get hungry, you get tired, you feel pressure, and you need ways to relieve that pressure. You also need your own private life.” Vanessa gently patted Mirexia’s shoulder to comfort her.
“Isn’t that so?”
“So there’s no need to blame yourself. It’s only human. Princess Mirexia has sacrificed so much to shoulder the expectations of the people and become a qualified queen. You’ve done well enough. Don’t you deserve a bit of a personal life? No one will blame you for this, and no one has the right to.”
Vanessa’s gentle voice was like a sacred hymn, soothing and dispelling the unease that had climbed Mirexia’s heart, like a beacon dispersing the heavy fog that shrouded her mind.
Under Vanessa’s patient guidance, Mirexia seemed to stop obsessing over this issue.
‘Virtue +50.’
‘Current Virtue: 10554.’
Although this had been an open secret between the two, there had always been a thin veil separating them. Both had pretended not to know on the surface. Now that it was fully laid bare, Mirexia felt much better after Vanessa’s comfort, though she still felt a bit embarrassed.
“But these behaviors are really...”
“Princess Mirexia, this is just a way to relieve your stress. Everyone has their own ways to relax and decompress, and they’re all different. In other words, everyone has their own way of finding joy. So how can we define what’s ‘normal’ behavior?”
“As long as it doesn’t harm others or cause trouble, what’s the problem?”
“Princess Mirexia has always been a good, obedient child, working so hard that you’re constantly overtime, with no time for yourself. It must be exhausting to bear such immense mental pressure. Isn’t it only natural to act like a ‘bad child’ once in a while?” To be honest, Vanessa was surprised that Mirexia had hidden this side of herself so deeply, but upon reflection, it made sense.
Due to the heavy workload, academic responsibilities, and the psychological burden of her duties, Mirexia had been under tremendous mental stress. If this pressure wasn’t released, it would continue to build up. In such a high-pressure environment, the fact that Mirexia hadn’t had a mental breakdown already spoke volumes about her mental resilience. Developing some strange little quirks was completely understandable.
“...Is that so?” Under Vanessa’s guidance, Mirexia stopped tormenting herself. Of course, the most important thing was that she realized Vanessa didn’t reject her because of this.
‘Virtue +50.’
‘Current Virtue: 10604.’
“Thank you, Vanessa.”
“Really, didn’t I say before? You don’t need to thank me.” Then, Vanessa added with a playful tone, “Princess Mirexia, do you want to keep hugging for a while?~”
Hearing this, Mirexia immediately let go of Vanessa. The blush on her cheeks hadn’t faded and was still quite noticeable.
‘Virtue +30.’
‘Current Virtue: 10634.’
“I think this is fair, though.”
“Huh? What?” Mirexia was confused, then listened as Vanessa explained with a smile.
“Before, even though it was our little secret, it was only you who knew my secret. But now, we both have secrets in each other’s hands. Even though we won’t tell anyone, isn’t this more balanced than before?”
“This is a shared little secret, right~?”
“Though I believe that as long as it doesn’t violate morality, any little quirk deserves respect, I really didn’t expect Princess Mirexia’s quirk to be this.” Vanessa’s dignified and graceful voice carried a hint of playful teasing.
At this moment, she seemed to have transformed from a pure saint redeeming believers to a little demon peering into people’s hearts.
‘Virtue +20.’
‘Current Virtue: 10654.’
Hearing this, Mirexia remained silent. Her usually composed expression had long since crumbled, leaving only the shy blush of a young girl experiencing her first crush.
“Pfft, Princess Mirexia has been working so hard. As a friend and childhood companion, I really hope you can have a normal, healthy mental state.”
“After all, if you don’t deal with mental stress, it just keeps piling up. If I knew the truth but did nothing, and my childhood friend ended up having a mental breakdown and going crazy, I’d feel really guilty.” Vanessa tilted her head, joking.
“So, Princess Mirexia, speak up. Tell me boldly, what do you want me to do~?”
“.......” Mirexia had no response, remaining silent. If it weren’t for the faint blush still on her cheeks, it would be hard to tell her emotional state.
‘Virtue +50.’
‘Current Virtue: 10704.’
Vanessa crossed her arms and smiled as she gazed at the golden-haired girl before her, who remained expressionless and ❖ Nоvеl𝚒ght ❖ (Exclusive on Nоvеl𝚒ght) silent.
Knowing Mirexia’s nature well, Vanessa understood that this wasn’t Mirexia being cold. On the contrary, it was because her emotions were too complex and overwhelming, leaving her unsure of how to express herself, hence the lack of expression.
“Right, with Princess Mirexia’s personality, how could I expect you to make the first move? That was my oversight.” After waiting for a long time without Mirexia speaking, Vanessa tapped her own head and shook it.
Mirexia, seeing this, ultimately chose not to speak.
Always saying the opposite of what she meant at crucial moments, unable to express her feelings correctly, and thus missing every opportunity, this was Mirexia’s biggest flaw.
She knew it, but she couldn’t change this aspect of her personality.
“Well, I guess there’s no helping it.” Just as Mirexia thought Vanessa was growing impatient with her indecisiveness and was about to leave, Vanessa sat down on the sofa and took a deep breath.
“Vanessa?”
“Princess Mirexia, please forgive me. Because of you, what I’m about to do might not be very proper.” Vanessa’s lips curved into a smile as she rested her cheek on her hand and closed her eyes.
When she opened them again, there was a cold, aloof arrogance in her gaze, like an empress looking down upon the world.
She stared at the golden-haired girl before her as if she were observing a tiny mayfly.
Mirexia’s heart tightened. Just being looked at like this by Vanessa made her feel as though her withering heart was now beating wildly.
She instinctively covered her chest.
‘Virtue +100.’
‘Current Virtue: 10804.’
“What are you standing there for?” Vanessa rested her cheek on her hand, scrutinizing the girl before her. Though the pink-haired girl was sitting, it felt as though she were looking down upon her, as if she were seated not on a sofa but on a throne.
“I haven’t given you permission to stand, have I? Mirexia.” Vanessa examined her fingers, her tone casual yet elegant.
Even in acting, the innate grace ingrained in her bones was on full display.
“Kneel before me.” Vanessa enunciated each word.
“?!” As a princess, being given such an order would normally be considered a grave insult. But since it came from Vanessa, her trusted childhood friend with whom she shared a special bond, Mirexia only felt her heart racing wildly, filled with excitement.
“Didn’t you hear me? Kneel.” Vanessa’s gaze slowly shifted from her fingers to Mirexia’s face, exuding immense pressure.
“........” A strong impulse surged through Mirexia’s scalp. She clutched her chest, her posture gradually changing from standing to kneeling on one knee.
Even so, Mirexia’s face still showed reluctance, as if filled with resentment, though her smooth movements betrayed her true feelings.