Chapter 305: I’m not a therapist [2]
"...I think I should get an answer soon."
I checked the time while walking into the elevator. It hadn’t been ten minutes since I left the coffee shop, and given the expressions that they were by the time that I left, I was certain that they had been enticed by my offer.
’Perhaps I’ll get an answer by today.’
The faster the better, honestly.
"Well then, now that I’ve handled that, what should I do?"
I had already exercised. I had already slept. Team activities were still on pause due to the aftermath of the gate.
In other words...
"Brainstorm game ideas, develop the studio, or dig more information of the company. Oh, right."
I planed my hand against my face.
"Right, I forgot to ask her."
I had been with Zoey not long ago. I should’ve asked her about the black market then.
Stepping out of the elevator and walking into the main area, I looked around for her, but she didn’t seem to be present. I even looked for Rowan, but he also didn’t seem to be present.
"Well, I’m not in a rush, I guess."
I had no money, so...
’In that case, should I start brainstorming for the new game?’
I ideally wanted to do this with the new recruits, but then again, perhaps it was best if I was the one who came up with the concept.
’Yeah, I’ll do that. I can ask them to help me with the development, and if they have any ideas, I can add them. I’m open to listening to what they have to say.’
Setting my mind to the goal, I walked all the way to my office.
But right as I caught a glimpse of the door, I stopped.
There, standing right before the door, was a figure that I was all too familiar with. My heart pressed tightly against my throat as I stared at her silhouette.
’What is she doing here? It can’t be because...?’
A sudden memory of my past interaction with her flashed through my mind, and a wave of nervousness washed over me.
I wanted to retreat back, but not even a second after the thought crossed my mind, her head turned, and our eyes met.
"....!?"
Shit!
I wanted to curse at my luck.
However, right as I started to despair over my situation, something struck me.
Wait...
I looked closely in her direction. In that moment, something became clear to me. She... She didn’t look well at all. Her face was pale, her eyes slightly sunken with glaring black circles, and she didn’t even try to approach me the moment she looked at me.
She seemed just out of energy.
’What the hell happened?’
Looking around, I eventually moved up to her.
"Can I help you with something? You’re looking for me, right?"
"....."
Clara didn’t say anything. She just stared at me.
The next few seconds became an awkward hell for me. Eventually, unable to stand the silence, I reached for the handle of my door when she suddenly moved her hand and pointed at the sign.
[Trauma Counselor] ʀᴇᴀᴅ ʟᴀᴛᴇsᴛ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs ᴀᴛ ɴovel(ꜰ)ɪre.nᴇt
"....."
It was my turn to be silent as my entire body stiffened.
Slowly turning my head in her direction, I watched as her mouth opened and she hoarsely said, "I’m here for a consultation."
I smiled then.
"I’m not a therapist."
*
"So, what is it that you’re currently having trouble with?"
I crossed my leg while looking at the empty sheet on the notepad in front of me. Clara sat across from me with her head lowered.
We were currently in a different office.
Given what had happened in the Hourglass gate, I didn’t want to risk giving my identity away. Even if she didn’t seem to be in the best of conditions, I didn’t want to take the risk. Thankfully, she had her own office that I could use.
I was sitting in her seat.
"....I’m having trouble sleeping."
Clara answered after a brief moment of hesitation. I could tell from her expression that she didn’t want to interact with me and found this entire situation stupid.
I wholeheartedly agreed with her.
I was no therapist.
’That bastard must’ve put her up to it.’
Damned Section Chief.
"You’re having trouble sleeping? Since when has this been happening?"
"It had been going on for almost half a year. However, it recently got a lot worse."
"How recently?"
"Less than a week."
My hand paused.
A picture of the current situation started to paint in my mind.
"Does this have to do with the recent gate?"
"...."
I tapped my pen on the paper.
"I see."
The picture became clearer in my mind. No, I pretty much understood what was happening.
Err..
At least, I knew enough to work with and come up with a scenario.
I put the pen down.
"You’re afraid of failure."
"Huh?"
Clara’s expression changed. My thoughts became more clear then.
"You’re terrified of failure."
***
Ever since the gate had closed, Clara felt as if her mind had been plunged into the darkest, most unfathomable depths of the ocean. She struggled to concentrate or even formulate a thought.
She felt extremely sluggish.
Clara had hoped she would improve as the days went by, but that had been a naive expectation. The heaviness only deepened with each passing day, and her nights remained restless and sleepless.
The moment she closed her eyes, she’d see ’that’ figure.
It haunted her whenever her mind let down its guard, appearing in her dreams or as hallucinations, clutching a needle and whispering for her to stay still so it could stitch her eyes and mouth shut.
Clara’s last few days had been a nightmare for her.
She visited the best therapists in the Guild, and yet, none of them seemed to provide her with any relief.
Her nights remained sleepless, and its figure remained in her mind.
Just when she resigned herself to the situation, the Section Chief gave her a last-ditch solution.
’There’s a precedent in the past where he’s managed to help and even improve one of the recruits’ performances with his sessions. I’m not sure of how useful it will be to you, but you should give it a shot.’
In all honesty, Clara didn’t believe that he’d be able to help.
Yet, whether driven by curiosity about him or the sheer desperation she felt, she found herself seeking him out.
But she soon regretted that decision.
"You’re terrified of failure."
"Wha... "
Clara’s lips opened and closed, her mind blanking out for a moment until her teeth slowly clenched together as her chest started to boil.
Terrified of failure?
’What is this bastard talking about?’
How did he even draw this conclusion from just a few questions?
Clara’s body shook as she tried her best to hold herself back. But given all the stress she was currently experiencing, that proved to be a way harder task than anticipated.
Just when she thought she had managed to calm herself down, Seth spoke once more.
"You’re trying to mask your true fear, convincing yourself that something else is causing these feelings. However..."
Seth tapped his pen onto the notepad.
"...What you’re really scared of is failure. Like the one you just faced."