I opened my eyes!
It was a refreshing morning. I walked out of the department store lobby as if
it were familiar. May 4th had begun!
Peaceful weather, a peaceful day, a Rabbit Doll in my hand and a Silver
Coin in my breast pocket, though it’s already so tarnished it looks almost
black.
But that’s no problem. May 4th is a good day. I am happy.
It would be a good day even if I greeted it hundreds, thousands of times.
Of course, that’s impossible.
"Mr. Kim Soleum!"
"Good morning."
For some reason, the client I’m entertaining feels familiar. As if I entertain
him every day? Hahaha. We are now heading to the high school his
daughter supposedly attends.
"My kid goes here."
"Ah, is your child’s school right over there?"
Excellent! May 4th is a good day.
Afterward, the ’Counselor’ who comes running out of the high school rushes
to the subway station.
For some reason, the Counselor feels welcome and familiar to my eyes. As
if we already knew each other? Hahaha. But now, I’m more familiar with
the sight of his back. As if I’ve been watching only his back for a very, very
long time.
I see him off... no, I see off the client who is returning home in a taxi.
The school counselor goes down into the subway station.
"Please get home safely!"
And I, holding an Americano, lift my head. I watch the people walking the
sidewalks of Segwang Metropolitan City on this fine May 4th. I leisurely
observe the daily lives of the people I pass....
My fingers are tingling.
It’s been prickling like static electricity for a while, but it’s bearable.
It’s fainter than I thought.
I have a feeling this pain sparking from the coin should be more intense, but
it must be my imagination.
I’ve never had an experience like this before May 4th!
As if it were familiar, I take out the coin to check it....
....
It’s pitch-black.
Far from reflecting the sunlight, it’s pitch-black. It’s hard to even call it
metal anymore.
A dirty thing, so caked in grime that it can’t even properly spark with static.
Where on earth did I get this dirty coin?
...Wouldn’t it be better to throw it away?
"..."
I hesitated, then slowly put the coin in my pocket.
Because a faint trace of silver still remains. Because there’s no need to
throw it away.
"..."
Let’s go home.
It feels like there was something more I was supposed to do, but it’s
impossible.
People are creatures who cannot realize things unless the conditions are
met.
To follow the glimmer of the silver coin, to lift one’s eyes and find the sun-
reflected window, to head for the high school, the coin must first glimmer.
If it doesn’t, I have no reason to look at the high school window.
I walked home.
The cold drink makes my hand cold.
And I passed the high school....
"Transfer student."
....
"Pick up the note for me."
I froze.
I lifted my head.
There was no one in the window.
When I lowered my head again, I saw a white note that had fallen in a
familiar shape at the bottom of the wall.
I picked it up and opened the note.
Just stay here
Please
"..."
I.
Folded the note. Folded it small, and then....
Put it in my pocket.
Because there’s no one in the window.
There’s no need to throw the note to send it over the window.
So this was a reasonable action.
I returned home.
I took the Rabbit Doll out from my pocket.
I made a spot for the Rabbit Doll with a blanket and a cushion, and placed it
on top....
When I press its belly, no sound comes out.
"..."
Strange.
I don’t know what’s strange.
Everything was peaceful, and daily life is proceeding without any particular
problems.
The sky is blue and people are living well.
I also spent today well.
Now I will wash up, eat dinner, watch TV, and then fall asleep.
What is the problem?
The world is normal. Perfectly normal....
"..."
I reached out my hand.
As I took out the Rabbit Doll, something that had come along with it was
stuck to the doll’s back.
A crumpled note.
When I unfold the page, the phrase written inside is revealed.
Just stay here
Please
I opened the drawer under the nightstand.
I take out a pen from inside and scribble in the blank space of the note....
No
"..."
I folded the note and put it in my pocket.
And I kicked the door open and went outside.
"Heok."
I run until I’m out of breath. The streets of Segwang Metropolitan City,
where the sun is setting, rush past me.
Without taking the bus, I ran the distance of three or four subway stops with
my own two feet, which felt strange.
And I arrive again.
At Sekwang Technical High School.
The lit-up Sekwang Technical High School was there, silent.
Since it wasn’t evening yet, the school was in operation.
But all the windows were firmly shut. Inside, warm lights and classrooms
were faintly visible.
"..."
I stepped inside the school’s main gate.
Third floor. I will go to where the student with the dyed hair who spoke to
me was and return the note.
I don’t know how I know about the dyed hair.
But I will do it.
I walked toward the school building. One step, another step, I went inside,
and the main entrance grew closer.
And so I set foot in front of the high school’s main entrance door, and when
I gently open the door....
There was no one inside.
"..."
The school was completely empty.
No students, no teachers, no security guards.
Only the indoor lights, which felt vaguely warm, illuminated the place. The
view of the bright interior of the empty school was eerie and hollow.
I stood frozen in the entrance, then turned my head.
A piece of notebook paper is taped to the main door.
Nap Time
I stumbled out of the main entrance and back outside the school.
And when I turned my head, I could still see the school, with its bright
lights and the sound of students’ laughter.
"..."
Strange.
Strange, strange!
’Let’s go home.’
Not my studio apartment, my family home!
I had to check. I opened my Smartphone and searched. Setting Segwang
Metropolitan City as the starting point, I search for transportation going
down to Bundang... no, going up to Bundang.
That’s right! I’ll take the subway to Segwang Station, then take the high-
speed rail!
That’ll work.
Yes. Let’s go that way.
I checked for a subway station near the high school. And I ran and went
down into the subway station....
....
* * *
I opened my eyes.
It was a refreshing morning. I walked out of the department store lobby as if
it were familiar. May 4th had beg—.
....
"No,"
No, no....
No!
"...!!"
I burst out of the department store doors. I could see the sight of Segwang
Metropolitan City with pedestrians coming and going.
...Familiarly.
’Wait a minute.’
I gasped for breath. I reflexively raised my hand and rummaged through my
pockets, finding the Silver Coin and the Rabbit Doll.
The coin was completely tarnished.
As if it were dead black.
"..."
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute....
I panted at the premonition that stabbed at my mind.
I, surely, surely....
Didn’t I see this coin when it was silver? That was, let’s see, when was it....
May 4th.
....
’...Wasn’t yesterday May 4th, too?’
No.
The day before that, too.
And the yesterday before that.
And the yesterday of the yesterday before that.
And the yesterday of the yesterday of the yesterday of the yesterday of the
yesterday of the yesterday of the yesterday of the yesterday of the yesterday
of the yesterday of the yesterday...
"Heuk."
I gasped for breath.
May 4th... is May 4th.
May 4th, May 4th, and then May 4th again!
’What is this.’
It’s a nightmare, right? It has to be a nightmare, right?
Then how much of it is a nightmare? Am I still dreaming right now? Or
have I finally woken up from the dream and this is reality? I....
I pinched my arm, as if to tear it.
"...!"
A sharp pain shot up my arm.
’...It’s not a dream?’
If so....
I snapped to my senses and ran.
To Sekwang Technical High School.
"Heok."
I’m out of breath. I hurriedly entered the high school’s main gate. And I ran
to the main entrance and grabbed the door....
"Hey, young man!"
"...!"
I turned my head.
A security guard came running out of the small guard booth near the main
gate.
"Show me your entry permit!"
"...Pardon?"
"A permit! Due to recent safety issues, all outsiders need to get permission
to enter the school."
The security guard looks at me suspiciously, with an expression that says,
’What’s wrong with this perfectly normal-looking person?’ I wiped my
sweat-drenched hands and answered as calmly as possible.
"I’m sorry. I’m looking for a student. ...They dropped something."
"What is it?"
"..."
Well.
"A note."
"Pardon?"
He’s going to drop a note soon. But that’s after the client meeting... no, but
there’s definitely something.
I had to check inside this high school... that’s right.
"Excuse me, could I meet this school’s Counselor?"
"What?"
His eyes look at me as if I’m absurd.
"The Counselor isn’t coming to work these days."
"...Pardon?"
"I’m telling you, he’s on vacation, so he’s not here. But why are you looking
for him?"
...What?
"But... surely,"
"Surely what."
The guard’s eyes were increasingly changing to look at something
suspicious, and I was getting more and more confused.
’Check... just one check.’
I felt like if I could just look inside the school once.
If I could just confirm that there were a lot of students inside, I felt like I
could be relieved that this was reality and turn back.
So I kept glancing at the school building....
And then I saw it.
A paper note, fluttering down from a window.
"...!"
I ran and caught it. I could hear the flustered guard chasing after me from
behind, but I focused all my attention on unfolding the note.
So, it should definitely be the sentence ’Just stay here’....
Stop it
"..."
I looked at the window.
There was no one there.
I came home.
I left the school as if chased out by the security guard. It seemed like it was
about to become a situation where they would call the police, so I couldn’t
insist on going in any more recklessly.
Because it felt like reality.
No, because I couldn’t be sure at all that it wasn’t reality...!
’What on earth is this place?’
A suffocating, eerie, and unknowable anxiety within the peace throbs in my
head.
I, what am I doing?
What is May 4th?
Why isn’t it ending?
Is it... over now?
’Strange... I need to organize the strange points.’
Right.
I picked up a pen. I organize them with my throbbing head. The strange
points....
-Department store / Why did I wake up here?
-Counselor
-Note
-Silver Coin
And....
There’s one more thing I don’t know where it came from.
-Rabbit Doll
I took the Rabbit Doll out of my pocket.
Instead of making a spot for it on the nightstand with a blanket, I carefully,
urgently, sat it on the bed.
And I speak desperately.
"Um. Hello."
No reply.
"What is this situation? Do you happen to know?"
There’s no way there would be a reply.
But why do I keep asking?
"...Why isn’t it working?"
There’s no way a reply would come from a Rabbit Doll.
"..."
I gripped the Rabbit Doll tightly with both hands.
I feel its soft texture.
That was all.
For some reason, I felt like something was surging up from within me....
"..."
No. If so, if so....
How about this?
I took out the note I had received earlier from my pocket.
’Strange points.’
"Um, I’m going to leave this note, so if you can read it, I’d like you to. ...I’m
curious what this means."
I placed the note carefully in front of the doll. After a moment of thought, I
rummaged through the nightstand, took out a pen, and laid it down in front
of it as well.
Then I looked away, left the bedroom entirely, and washed up.
I felt a strange sense of anticipation.
It felt like something would change. Since I left the strange things together,
wouldn’t something bizarre happen?
And when I carefully entered the bedroom again.
I saw it.
"..."
Nothing had changed.
In front of the Rabbit Doll on the bed, the note and pen were just as I had
left them. I hurriedly unfolded the note, but....
Stop it
It was the same.
"..."
Something surged up from within my chest.
I picked up the pen and scribbled a reply.
No
I crumpled the note fiercely and threw it at the window.
Ting, it hits the studio apartment window and bounces off.
I ran over and unfolded the note again, but there was no change.
"...!"
I hit the window with my fist.
Thud! Thud!
I repeated it a few times.
My knuckles bruised, but eventually, the window cracked and then
shattered. Broken glass shards embedded themselves in the back of my
hand.
"..."
I could see outside through the gap in the shattered window... but nothing
had changed.
Nothing.
A peaceful Segwang Metropolitan City, a moment on May 4th.
Nothing at all is happening.
"...No."
Something about this was strange.
It wasn’t right.
Something that should be happening isn’t happening. Why isn’t the situation
changing? Why? If I’ve noticed, shouldn’t something change? Shouldn’t it
go back to normal....?
What is ’back to normal’?
"..."
I sat in front of the TV.
Let’s just wait like this. I won’t sleep; I’ll wait for May 4th to pass. If I wait
until midnight, maybe there will be a change. I can do it.
I put on something random from an OTT service.
A children’s animation starts playing. I watch it. I watch, and watch....
May 4th ended.
* * *
I opened my eyes.
It was a refreshing morning. I walked out of the department store lobby as if
it were familiar. May 4th had beg—.
"Please."
I slammed my head against the department store wall.
But nothing changed. Screams erupted around me, and guards restrained me
and sent me out of the department store. I faintly heard someone in the
crowd say an ambulance should be called. I fled the scene as if escaping.
Fear blossoms.
But as if to calm that fear, the everyday scenery and my good-conditioned
mind make me feel serene.
This ominous serenity.
"Heok."
I came to my studio apartment.
The window I had broken was fine, and nothing had changed.
The Rabbit Doll was back in my pocket. I frantically dug for it and took it
out, holding it in my hand. Just that brought a strange sense of relief.
But the Silver Coin that was in my other pocket....
No, I can’t call it that anymore.
"..."
I dropped the coin on the nightstand.
The Silver Coin was now so blackened that no silver was visible. Not at all.
The shape of the emblem isn’t even properly visible.
"...Ah."
What is it?
What am I forgetting?
I can’t figure it out. I can’t escape. As if I’m not supposed to escape, as if I’m
supposed to be here....
"..."
Should I just... stay?
I can enjoy a peaceful and quiet daily life, can’t I?
May 4th is a perfect day. A warm, clear day, a day I can take off from work
and enjoy. A day that’s even more joyous because the next day is Children’s
Day, so I can rest one more day. A vibrant day, being the day after the
weekend.
I sat on the bed.
I will tidy the top of the nightstand and make a spot for the Rabbit Doll with
a cushion and a blanket. I will set it there comfortably, and I too will lie
peacefully in bed.
I grabbed the blanket and folded it. Just as I did on the last May 4th, a soft
blanket....
....
I unfolded the blanket again.
I saw something I hadn’t seen before.
Something strangely conspicuous, a trivial detail of today, a byproduct of an
action, but an element that caught my eye now....
The pattern on the blanket is a white Lizard.
"..."
I turned my head.
As if I shouldn’t be caught by someone, I looked around, then looked at the
blanket again.
Lizard.
It was a character not usually used on blankets. Even more so with such a
peculiar color combination of a white body and red eyes.
Aside from that, it strangely weighs on my mind.
As if it’s a symbol of something.
"..."
A symbol of whom, you ask?
....
....
"Manager."
"Mr. Roe Deer."
My hand slipped from the blanket.