Chapter 69: Ch 69: Popular Trends *Facepalm*
Who could have imagined something like this.
Being trapped in an enclosed space with three ghosts imitating humans, all
while sitting in a cold sweat, pretending to act normal.
And worse...
However, you must never show that you’ve noticed.
’...I can’t let it show.’
Even if every person in front of me—no, every ghost—was clapping
cheerfully with the backs of their hands.
Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap.
’Don’t, be ob, vious.’
Then, one suddenly turned to me and asked,
"Why aren’t you clapping?"
"..."
Oh, fucking hell.
I barely kept myself from trembling as I raised my hands.
And then...
Clap, clap, clap.
I placed one hand politely over the other and produced a quiet sound. I
glanced around as if embarrassed, offering a slightly awkward smile like a
rookie trying to gauge the situation.
"...I missed the timing to clap and got flustered. It’s a bit embarrassing."
"..."
Please.
Please let this slide.
"Eyy~ No worries at all!"
"Hey, Leopard sunbae, don’t pressure the competent newbie. Sit back
down."
"Aigoo, alright."
The Leopard employee—or rather, the ’thing’ pretending to be Leopard—
shrugged and sat down as instructed.
’Huu...’
But my relief was short-lived.
Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud.
Suddenly, the Dolphin employee dropped her head to the floor and started
banging it sideways.
Expressionlessly.
"There’s... there’s a bug, a bug, a bug I can’t catch..."
Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud.
"...I heard no other creatures can enter this Darkness. Perhaps you were
mistaken?"
"Ah."
The Dolphin employee stopped banging her head.
Her disheveled hair was now a mess, and her skull was crushed.
"That makes sense. Thank you, Supervisor Roe Deer."
"Not at all."
And then, as if nothing had happened, she resumed chatting naturally with
Assistant Manager Leopard.
"..."
If I pass out here... would I disappear?
I’m going crazy.
’Why did everyone but me get replaced...!’
If only I could’ve blacked out and been replaced too—waking up tomorrow
morning oblivious.
"Supervisor Roe Deer, have some food."
"Ah, thank you very much, Squad Leader..."
The lizard mask-wearing ghost—no, don’t think like that—Squad Leader
Lizard handed me some food.
It was kimbap from a rather tasty snack shop near the office.
’I need to eat to survive the nearly 24 hours until tomorrow morning.’
It was a rational decision... If only I didn’t feel like I’d throw up or get
indigestion the moment I put anything in my mouth....
’Urgh.’
"Ohh, how about sharing? We brought some sandwiches, too."
The two employees from the C-squad took out their sandwiches. I
reflexively responded out of social courtesy.
"I should’ve brought something, but I was unprepared. I’m truly sorry and
grateful."
"Eyy, maknae, come on. No need to worry about stuff like that! Even this
squad leader here doesn’t seem to care about formalities, right?"
"Yes."
With the lizard’s short reply, Assistant Manager Leopard gave a thumbs-up
with a grin.
"Ee-yah~ Our C-squad’s leader is like that too. Hey, you know Squad
Leader Teal Duck from the A-squad, right? Our squad leader is on a whole
different level."
Ack.
"...Sounds like someone worth respecting."
"Right? The squad leader even used that wish ticket to take a vacation...
Eyy, hope it doesn’t lead to retirement though."
I avoided commenting on the subtle criticism against A-squad’s leader and
turned the conversation with gentle praise instead.
Not that it matters since they’re ghosts... But yeah, I’ll keep this up.
’Forget it, forget it...’
Honestly, it felt less like a ghost story and more like awkward small talk
during a team-building retreat with senior employees from related
departments.
Of course, it didn’t last long.
Right after the meal, Assistant Manager Leopard yawned and stood up.
"Ah, we’ll be here all night... Mind if I take off my shoes for a bit?"
"Aww, you should’ve brought slippers like me!"
"Eyy, what can I do if I didn’t? My socks are clean anyway."
Assistant Manager Leopard chatted nonchalantly with Supervisor Dolphin
while starting to take off his shoes.
’Sure, I won’t even be surprised if he suddenly starts tap dancing on the
table...’
Instead of feet, there were hands.
Crammed and forced into the shoes, the hands unfolded and pressed onto
the floor as they emerged.
"..."
"Ah, since I’m already up, I’ll grab more coffee~ Everyone wants a refill,
right?"
Thup.
Suddenly, Assistant Manager Leopard stood on his hands.
The hands attached to his feet swung up and waved.
Thup... thup.
A company employee walking on his hands.
"Supervisor Roe Deer."
I swallowed a scream.
"Yes, Assistant Manager Leopard."
"Can you help me carry the coffee? It’s hard to see straight for some reason.
U-Uh—"
Thump, thump, thump, thump.
His inverted body kept bumping into the counter where the coffee was
placed.
"Not trying to boss you around just because you’re the junior—it’s just
you’re seated closer. Sorry if it feels like I’m pressuring you."
Sh-Shit.
"Of course. I’d be happy to help, sir."
I stood up immediately and moved toward Assistant Manager Leopard.
Now that I think about it, sitting next to a ghost with a crushed skull might
be worse than assisting the upside-down ghost.
Right?
Riiight??
– Fascinating! Could this be a deliberate uncanny valley effect?
– An entertaining performance, Mr. Roe Deer. Let’s enjoy it to the fullest!
Enjoy it?
To the fullest?
’Just keeping my eyes open deserves a self-pat on the back right now...!’
Enjoyment is way too high a bar!
"Now then, let’s move these."
"Yes, sir."
I handed cups of coffee to the hands attached to his feet, holding two cups
myself, and placed them on the table.
I was proud of not spilling or trembling, despite the sheer absurdity of it all.
The real problem, though, was that with coffee refilled, the mood shifted
into casual conversation.
"Now then."
Supervisor Dolphin, smiling brightly despite her caved-in skull, suggested,
"How about we go around and share stories of the Darknesses we’ve
cleared? Let’s be honest, it’s hard to stick with this job without finding
some fun in it!"
Assistant Manager Leopard waved it off.
"What if the ghosts overhear us and do something crazy? Let’s just talk
about our favorite foods or something."
"Ah, that’s good too."
"..."
He wasn’t wrong.
Discussing the ghost-switching itself would not cause anomalies.
However, it greatly increased the risk of someone noticing who the ghost
was, which was highly discouraged.
But they’re all ghosts.
"I like things crispy on the outside, moist on the inside. Like fried eggplant,
you know?"
"Oh, really? I like food that pops when you bite into it. Like eyeballs?"
Fwick—
Dolphin leaned right into my face.
"Supervisor Roe Deer, you’ve got eyeballs, don’t you? I can see them. You
brought them under the mask, right? To share? Let’s share."
AAAAACCKK!!
"They’re not for eating, unfortunately."
I politely folded my hands under the table to hide the trembling.
"And it seems like we have similar tastes. Texture really is important."
"Oh~ Comrade!"
The ghost mimicking Dolphin beamed.
"Supervisor Roe Deer doesn’t seem like a ghost. Talking so normally about
food and all."
Wow.
’I can’t keep this up.’
If I stayed in this conversation any longer, there’d definitely come a
moment I’d scream.
– Oh dear, Supervisor Roe Deer seems particularly sensitive to the uncanny
valley effect! Such reactions are appreciated in an audience, though
unfortunate in this situation...
– But worry not. Isn’t having this Braun by your side the greatest comfort?
Your friend is right here!
...Wait.
That’s right.
’What Braun said is right.’
– A great host always adapts to the situation!
Exactly. What I was experiencing now was a situation where fear had been
heightened to the extreme by the uncanny valley effect.
’Fear when something looks human but isn’t.’
In this ordinary break room, watching coworkers casually display
grotesque, inhuman behaviors was deeply unsettling.
And being the only human amplified the sheer terror.
’If that’s the case...’
I glanced to the side.
The lizard was casually eating a sandwich snack with the wrapper still on.
"..."
"..."
Not particularly less scary!
Even if he suddenly flicks his tongue, walks backward with a grin, or gets
up and starts shaking his head while crazily dancing yet casually chatting—
it’s all the same.
Because he was already terrifying!
Because he already looked like a lizard!
There’s no longer any uncanny valley to feel.
’I’m sticking with the section chief no matter what.’
Finally, a solution appeared.
Suppressing my cold sweat, I turned my chair naturally toward Chief
Lizard, as if I had an urgent question to ask.
"Section Chief Lee Jaheon."
And I did genuinely have something I wanted to ask.
According to the <Dark Exploration Records>, in this ghost story, ’Ghosts
are identical to their companions in appearance, personality, and
character.’
This means that if you ask something natural and unpressured, there’s a
high chance the answer will mirror that of the ’original’.
Unless they suddenly start acting ghostly, of course.
’This might even make it easier to ask.’
Since it wasn’t really them.
I pulled my chair closer as if I wanted to have an open and honest
conversation with a squadmate.
I aimed to create an atmosphere that discouraged the other ghosts from
interrupting, and it seemed to work.
Then I asked,
"We don’t usually have time to chat during work. Would it be alright if I
asked you a few things now?"
"Yes."
"Thank you. I was wondering... how did you become so strong, Section
Chief?"
"Right."
Thankfully, Lee Jaheon didn’t seem annoyed.
"It’s the result of a combination of innate factors and acquired learning."
"..."
The perfect, universal answer for any question!
It felt like asking the top student how they aced their exams, only to hear, ’I
studied hard with my good brain.’
’I want to hear more details, though.’
With anyone else, this might be a brush-off, but with Chief Lizard, it’s hard
to tell.
I decided to play along and smiled sheepishly before responding.
"I see. I asked because I’d like to improve my strength too—without relying
on items or contamination."
"Follow a protein-based diet and combine aerobic and anaerobic exercise."
"...Will doing that make me as strong as you?"
"No."
"..."
Excuse me, I can already muster strength proportional to my physique.
I almost gave my superior a look of incredulity.
"...If you have any other advice for me, I’d love to hear it."
"Yes. Supervisor Roe Deer, you have other strengths. Focus on developing
those."
The lizard spoke dryly.
"No individual excels in all areas. Don’t waste resources on inefficient or
unnecessary things. Use others to your advantage."
...Wait a second.
"Are you saying that when strength is needed, I should rely on you for that
role, and instead focus on honing my own strengths?"
"Yes."
The lizard nodded.
"Your strengths lie in creativity and decision-making, Mr. Roe Deer."
"...Thank you."
Well.
’Should I consider this high praise?’
It’s definitely better than being told to handle everything on my own. I’m
grateful, of course.
’Still, it feels like a missed opportunity.’
I debated for a moment, then decided to dig a little deeper.
"However, we do occasionally enter Darknesses alone. Strength is a
universal and effective means, so I feel I might need it for situations like
that."
"I see."
The lizard stared into the void for a moment, as if in deep thought, before
giving a confirming nod.
"I’ll introduce you to an item."
"...!"
Jackpot!
"Does it enhance strength?"
"Something similar. Use it as a parent item when crafting a new special
equipment."
"...! Thank you."
I’d been meaning to enhance or expand my dedicated equipment anyway.
’At least I gained something from this.’
Even amidst a ghost story full of ghosts, while sweating bullets, I managed
to obtain something... wait.
Come to think of it, the lizard sitting in front of me isn’t even the real Lee
Jaheon—it’s a ghost.
’Can I really trust this promise?’
I panicked for a moment but recalled the manual.
People who were replaced by ghosts retain indirect memories of what
occurred within the enclosed space.
Given Lee Jaheon’s personality, he was highly likely to keep the promise.
’That’s settled.’
Phew.
Accomplishing something gave me a sense of achievement, even if I had to
endure terror.
’Let’s use this sense of accomplishment to push through the fear...’
Pretending to stretch, I avoided looking at the two C-squad ghosts who
were now doing handstands and grinning eerily at me.
At this point, I didn’t care who among them introduced me to the Salmon
Market.
’Empty your mind...’
I kept making small talk with the lizard, avoiding direct interactions with
the ghosts.
The ghost posing as Chief Lizard couldn’t get up to anything mischievous
because I kept bombarding him with questions, forcing him to respond
endlessly.
’I learned a profound fact—that the section chief prefers beef over pork...’
– Friend, this seems less like an interview and more like a tedious amateur
biography investigation...
I know, Braun-ah, but what choice do I have...?
When even that small talk ran dry, I pretended to doze off, playing word
games with Braun, who was in my pocket, to pass the time.
No matter what nonsense echoed in my ears, I stuck to one response:
’Sorry... I’m too tired. Let’s continue this conversation after we’re out.’
’It’s 3 a.m. Please, let this end.’
I felt like I was drowning in cold sweat, but no emergency occurred.
Clutching Braun in my pocket, I survived the harrowing hours that felt like
an eternity.
"..."
"..."
Click.
Finally, the pantry door opened.
I had endured the entire night alone.
"...Done."
I made it, dammit!
I wanted to stand up and punch the air in triumph despite my foggy mind.
’I can feel tears in my eyes.’
It was the first time I had endured ghostly horror this raw and alone,
without cutting corners.
It felt like I had overcome a personal limit.
’I should give myself a pat on the back...’
I wobbled as I stood.
No one knew how much of a struggle even a D-class challenge was for me,
and that was a relief...
"Mr. Roe Deer."
"...?!"
H-Huh...?
Turning my head, I saw the lizard calmly standing there, wide awake.
He looked fine, as if he had never stayed up all ni... Wait.
’...?’
He’s awake?
"S-Section Chief?"
"There’s no need to wait for the members of C-squad to wake up. You may
clock out."
I stared at the lizard, perfectly upright, and then turned to look at the
sprawled, sleeping C-squad members.
"..."
"..."
No way.
"You weren’t... a ghost last night?"
"I was not."
"...You were clapping with the backs of your hands though?!"
"?"
The lizard tilted his head, then seemed to realize something and replied,
"I thought it was a popular trend."
"..."
Ah.
Ahhhhh!