Chapter 123: Ch 123: We Can Help ^^
[Oh dear.]
The Nostalgia Candy in my hand disappeared.
"...!"
[Good heavens! Mr. Roe Deer, have you been surviving on candy
alone?]
"Haha..."
[That’s not good at all!]
Like magic, the missing Nostalgia Candy appeared in Braun’s gloved hand,
only to vanish once again with a flourish.
...Completely gone.
"..."
Ah, was I supposed to applaud?
Clap, clap, clap...
As I clapped my hands together, Braun bowed theatrically like a magician.
"Um, where did the candy—"
[Mr. Roe Deer, your first meal in a month was going to be an ancient,
dusty old candy? Oh, this is an insult to catering itself!]
Snap.
The host snapped his fingers.
[Some say the passion for creation is born from hunger, but... my
philosophy is a bit different!]
[First, let’s have a proper meal.]1
At Braun’s request, the faceless staff opened the door to my dressing room,
greeting me cheerfully.
A white tablecloth was laid over the table in the corner of the room, and in
perfect synchronization, dishes were set one after another.
Steam rose from the plates—Western cuisine.
A full-course meal that should have been served dish by dish was instead
arranged all at once.
[Since you didn’t submit a request, Mr. Roe Deer, I took the liberty of
selecting tonight’s menu.]
[Once you finish eating, you’ll feel revitalized...]
"..."
...That’s when I realized it had been a long time since I’d last seen warm
food.
Seated across from me, the host’s TV screen displayed a cheerful emoticon
as he waved his utensils from side to side.
Bon appétit!!
...Somehow, the surroundings felt darker.
It was as if the spotlight was focused solely on the meal in front of me...
Glint.
My silver ring reflected the light from the table, momentarily catching the
glow before being overpowered by the shine of the fork.
"..."
I hesitated, then picked up the utensils.
But as I debated what to eat first...
[And for your drink... Ah, Mr. Roe Deer. You mentioned you liked
grapes, didn’t you?]
"...!"
With a smooth motion, a curved glass bottle filled with ruby-red liquid
landed on the table.
A bottle of wine.
[This is an exquisite vintage. A gift I received while hosting the quiz
show. But now, it seems fitting to open it in celebration of your
successful debut, my friend...]
Absentmindedly, I read the label’s production year.
1999.
The same year the ’Happy Ending Teddy’—tonight’s guest—had been
released.
"...Did you match the vintage to the guest’s production year?"
[Ah, I do appreciate an observant audience! That’s correct!]
[It’s a congratulatory gesture. After all, this was your first time on
stage!]
[Ah, such details are essential for any great entertainer. Mr. Soleum, I
hope this serves as a valuable lesson...]
Braun personally uncorked the wine.
The ruby-red liquid swirled into the crystal glass before being placed in
front of me.
[Now... shall we have a toast?]
...Hmm.
Refusing at this point would feel awkward, but for some reason, I wasn’t
particularly eager.
[...Oh dear. Does it not suit your taste, Mr. Roe Deer? It seems I’ve
failed to understand my friend’s preferences. How shameful for a
host...]
"No, that’s not it."
Feeling pressured, I quickly lifted the glass—
And drank.
...
"It’s good."
[Isn’t it? Please, enjoy it at your leisure...]
"Alright."
I picked up my utensils.
"..."
The meal continued.
Strangely, the more I ate and drank, the clearer my mind became.
As if my exhausted body was finally absorbing much-needed nutrients...
No, that wasn’t just a metaphor. That was exactly what was happening.
’I thought I was in good condition.’
Maybe I was more drained than I realized.
...
...Wait, hold on!
’Of course I’d be feeling like this—I haven’t eaten in a month!’
Logically speaking, there’s no way a human could go a whole month
without eating and still be fine.
’I should be dead.’
Goodness. Am I only realizing this now?
[Hmm? Mr. Roe Deer, is something wrong with the food?]
"No. That’s not it."
I resumed eating.
With every bite, my thoughts sharpened.
’Even if I wasn’t fully corrupted by this Darkness, I must have been
affected in some way.’
Had my mind been foggy this entire time?
Even after arriving here, all I did was throw myself into work.
Had I been too giddy, thinking I was finally free from fear...?
Regardless—
’I should confirm this.’
I instinctively reached for another piece of candy from my tattoo inventory
but hesitated at the last second.
I’d need the great host’s permission, after all.
"Braun, could you return the candy you took earlier?"
[Hm?]
"I’ve eaten, so I figured I’d have a little dessert."
[Oh... I see. Very well.]
Braun placed the candy back into my palm.
Nostalgia Candy.
[Here you go, Mr. Soleum!]
Now I remembered for sure.
’This candy restores my body to its peak condition from the past ten years.’
This was how I survived in Sekwang Technical High.
’Alright.’
I popped the candy into my mouth.
...
Hm.
’No change at all?’
It just... felt like I had confirmed something I already knew.
’This probably means that my current condition is the best it’s ever been.’
They say stress is the root of all illness—so maybe people really do need to
find work that suits them.
From now on... I should at least try to eat properly instead of just working
non-stop.
Even if working at a supernatural talk show made it feel like skipping meals
didn’t affect me, it clearly had an impact.
’Now that I think about it, working non-stop was a bit strange too.’
Placing my now-empty wine glass on the table, I spoke with a serious tone.
"Braun. No matter how I think about it, I need to bring this up."
[Hmm?]
"My employment contract. Shouldn’t we discuss things like vacation time
and salary?"
[Oh... Mr. Soleum.]
Braun gave me an unenthusiastic look, out of character for him, then
pressed a hand to his forehead. His TV screen displayed a sighing emoticon.
[Of course, my show’s crew members are guaranteed ample vacation
time and silver. I must say, I’m baffled—what exactly were you told on
your first day?]
Oh...
’Was I too out of it from not eating?’
Come to think of it, my memories of the first few days here were oddly
hazy.
I even seemed to have lost all my belongings from Daydream Inc... What a
mess.
"Sorry. But I’d still like to negotiate my work conditions properly now."
[Of course, Mr. Roe Deer!]
With a full stomach and a clear mind, I had a fierce negotiation session with
the host.
The final contract included two days off per week, summer and winter
vacation leaves, 50 Silver Coins of the Uncanny, and a biannual
performance-based bonus...
Not bad.
[Then, let’s finalize the contract by the end of this week!]
"Got it."
[Now you’ll be officially employed at the talk show. Ah, that’s right—
while hosting today’s live broadcast, I had a sudden burst of
inspiration!]
[That’s why I originally stopped by your dressing room. But when I
saw you breaking your month-long fast with candy, I was so shocked
that I lost my train of thought. Good heavens!]
"Haha... um. Sorry. So, what was the idea?"
Braun pointed at my forearm with his gloved hand.
[Your tattoos, Mr. Roe Deer.]
Ah.
I lifted my arm and glanced at the text.
The makeup had started wearing off, leaving my forearm blotchy and
uneven.
[It must be a hassle to get makeup done every time you appear on the
show. Oh, and knowing you, Mr. Roe Deer—you’d rather work
through your break than sit still for that! So, with that in mind...]
[Why not erase them completely?]
"..."
[Think about it! It’ll save time and free you from unnecessary
burdens...]
"Wait a second."
[’Wait a second’? Aha, is there something bothering you?]
"These tattoos have been useful in a lot of ways."
[Haha! Oh, come now!]
[That was back when you were suffering at that joyless, underpaid
job!]
[But now, Mr. Soleum, you’re part of this splendid talk show! No
matter where you go, you’ll be treated well. You could even get free
sundae ice cream at boutique parlors. Come, come—let’s clean up these
messy little scribbles.]
Hmm.
"I still think... I could have some fun using these."
Especially the inventory tattoo.
’It could even be used for some entertaining moments on the show.’
Like pulling out props from my arm as if by magic, surprising the audience.
Even if I didn’t step on stage, it’d still be useful—helping the staff move
sets or lights in a pinch.
"Why should I get rid of something that’s already useful? Really, I’m only
asking because I don’t understand."
[Hmmm.]
Braun clasped his hands together.
[I see, Mr. Soleum. Now that you’ve eaten and regained your strength,
you’re showing more of your true self... Very good!]
[In that case, I’ll look into alternatives. I’ll find something that offers a
similar effect.]
[You’re even aiming for a magician’s tricks now! Such passion—it’s
truly moving! Haha!]
Braun’s TV screen displayed an emoticon wiping away tears.
[Then, enjoy the rest of your break, Friend!]
"Yeah. Thanks."
The host watched as the catering staff thoroughly cleaned up my dressing
room before finally waving goodbye and stepping out.
"Phew."
I sat down on the sofa.
Since I wasn’t scheduled to appear in the next show, and the guest booking
and production meetings for this week were already done, I had some free
time.
’Might as well do some organizing.’
If my tattoos might be erased, it wouldn’t hurt to go through my inventory
and sort things out.
And since I’d just realized I lost my old belongings from Daydream Inc., I
should also take stock of what I still had.
Tak.
I reached into my inventory tattoo and started pulling out items, laying them
out on the table one by one.
’Most of them are still intact.’
Everything except items from the company was intact, but the Bloodbathtub
isn’t here either... Ah, that had been in the bathroom too. So, it was gone.
Even the company-issued special equipment was still perfectly fine.
Among them were things I hadn’t made myself—some were gifts.
"Oh."
I pulled out a tiny black button.
...Assistant Manager Eun Haje’s comms button.
’Could this be the button Section Chief Lee Jaheon was talking about?’
Hmm, it seemed like an invitation to stay in touch.
’That’s thoughtful.’
I’d have to test it out once I got some vacation time. Smiling, I pocketed the
button.
Then, past emergency rations, the Happy Maker, Bloodsucking Knife,
Wrapper, and the Necronomicon...
I spotted the red button.
We Can Help! – ₩66,666,666
’There’s no way he was talking about this button, right?’
This was something meant to be pressed only in a life-or-death emergency.
There was no reason to push it just because I had comfortably settled into
my new job.
Absentmindedly, I placed it on the table.
’Almost done.’
There was barely anything left inside my tattoo inventory... Oh, wait. One
more thing.
A paper bag with a theme park mascot printed on it emerged.
Inside... was a dragon-shaped churro.
[Blue Soda Churros]
Wow.
’I can’t even remember when I got this.’
Didn’t I sell one to a Disaster Management Bureau agent, then kept the
rest?
Still, since I had stored it in my inventory tattoo, it hadn’t gone bad.
I was about to place it on the table when I got a strange feeling and took a
closer look.
Previously unreadable text was now legible.
A Taste of Bliss
A Healthy Snack for Children
A healthy snack, huh.
’...Is it safe to eat?’
Well, Braun did allow me some candy.
And he did tell me to eat properly!
’If I erase my tattoos, it might go bad. I might as well eat it now while I still
can.’
It’d be a waste otherwise.
’Alright.’
I bit into the churro.
The crisp, popping texture was reminiscent of cheap junk food, but it
melted in my mouth and went down easily.
And then.
And then—
"~~!!"
Something surged up from my throat.
Splish, splish, splish!
Dark blue water began pouring out of my mouth.
The salty scent of seawater filled the air.
"...!! ~!!"
It gushed out uncontrollably, flooding the talk show’s waiting room floor.
I—I couldn’t breathe!
I couldn’t breathe!!
’W-What the hell—’
What kind of healthy snack was this, you goddamn—! No, no cursing! But
what the hell do I—
No. Oxygen was running out. My mind was going blank. I was going to d-
die—
...
’That thing.’
We Can Help.
With the last of my strength, I slammed my hand onto the table.
My fingers fumbled desperately through the scattered items until—
The red button.
"~!!"
I wildly flailed my arm, slamming my palm down on it.
Water streamed from my eyes, nose, and ears.
’S-Someone, help—’
And then.
BEEEEEEP!
A deafening alarm exploded inside my head.
EMERGENCY CALL
CONFIRMED
And my consciousness was wrenched away.
* * *
– Supervisor Kim Soleum.
"..."
– Supervisor Kim Soleum.
GASP—!!
What the ever-loving FUCK!
I jolted upright—
Or at least, I thought I did.
The world was pitch black.
...
There was nothing. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t feel. No touch. No smell. No
sound. Nothing. Nothing! There’s nothing at all—
– Are you awake?
"...!!"
A familiar voice resonated in my head.
It was...
"...Squad Leader Lee Jaheon?"
– Yes.
And at that moment—
THUD!!
The entire world shook.
’W-What the hell?!’
– Please hold on a moment.
A few seconds later—
Suddenly, my vision returned.
I saw... my waiting room, half-flooded with water.
The same scene I’d seen just before losing consciousness.
But I wasn’t seeing it directly.
It felt like I was watching through someone else’s eyes.
Like a CCTV feed, floating in front of me...
"...!"
The view shifted, scanning its surroundings.
The angle changed as if checking its own limbs.
My wrist tattoos flashed into view.
...That was my body.
Someone else was controlling my body!
– Moving now.
And my vision started walking.
Huh. Huh—?!
’Hold on, don’t tell me—’
"W-Wait a second. Squad Leader, are you moving my body right now?"
– Yes.
I swallowed hard.
"...Was this triggered by the ’We Can Help’ button?"
– Yes.
"..."
Wait a second.
Wait just one damn second!
The ’We Can Help’ button—bought from an alien shop—had summoned
Section Chief Lee Jaheon?!
"Squad Leader."
I swallowed again.
"...Are you, by any chance, an alien from the Space Shopping Mall?"
– ? Yes.
AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!