Season 4: Chapter 99. Physical Education vs. Economics (1)
Zelo ran into the Paprika villagers in the mines.
“Uh... excuse me?”
Hiding in the shadows, Zelo finally stepped forward.
— Whoa, whoa, whoa.
— Who are those people??
— They’re not Cheese folks.
— That voice sounds familiar.
— $&&#$&(@
“M-Mr. Zelo...” Choco Shroom, clearly frightened, hid behind him.
The Cheese duo had already outfitted themselves in iron gear, but it was all defensive. They had no real weapons other than their pickaxes and hadn’t planned on fighting anyone.
The other side was different. They had once lost everything to Almond, but managed to restore at least their iron swords.
Shing!
They drew their blades. Some carried shields and spears as well. They had no armor, but prepared to fight.
‘What the hell? These guys...’
Zelo’s arms trembled. If he died here, he would lose everything. All the ore he had mined would disappear.
“What’s your deal?”
“You pop out after hiding? You looking to get killed!?”
Their harsh reactions seemed almost paranoid.
Zelo quickly shook his head. “N-No! Nothing like that.”
A sudden silence fell over them.
‘Wait... no way. Isn’t that Zelo?’
‘It’s Mr. Zelo.’
‘So it was Zelo all along.’
Zelo was famous enough for most people to recognize him from just his voice. The Paprika villagers, who already knew about the Cheese streamers, could easily tell.
“Hmm... Why did you approach us... I mean, what do you want?!”
Even so, they couldn’t bring themselves to speak politely. After all, Cheese was the enemy.
“Yeah, what do you want?!”
“If you don’t talk fast, we’ll kill ya!”
They started acting more and more like cartoonish villains.
“Nwahahaha! You’re dead meat!”
“Hey, girl hiding back there! Let’s see your face!”
It was straight out of a third-rate comic.
— LOL are these guys comedians?
— What even is this? Lol
— LMAO I can’t
— It’s even funnier cause they’re like two heads tall
The viewers laughed, but cold sweat trickled down Zelo’s avatar. Still, he pressed on since the question he wanted to ask could potentially change the fate of Cheese Village.
“S-So, um... Fertile Soil... where do you get it? How did you get some?”
Parsley, the leader of the Paprika miners, stepped forward in anger. “What?! You’re asking how to get Fertile Soil?!”
ChocoShroom poked Zelo’s back. “M-Mr. Zelo, I think we’re... we’re in trouble...”
The way Parsley approached was anything but friendly. “You want me to tell you how to get it?”
“D-Did I... say something wrong?”
— What’s with him? lol
— Oh man lol
— He’s so dead
The atmosphere turned hostile.
“How to get the soil? You really wanna know?!”
“Tell him! Tell that bastard!”
“Yeah! Kill him and roast him! There’s lava down here!”
To kill and burn someone was practically the answer, but Zelo didn’t catch on. Who would hear that and think it was a legitimate method to obtain soil? He assumed it was just a threat.
“I, I’m sorry! I don’t know what I did wrong... I don’t think you’re even mad at me specifically, but still...”
— Apology 101 (Reverse) LOL
— What kind of apology is that? lol
— LMAO
— He says what he wants!
“This punk is insulting us!”
Shhk!
Parsley raised his sword high.
Bam!
[ZeloKey has donated a whopping 300,000 won!]
[Alright. That’s enough.]
Zelo had received million-won donations before, but never a three-hundred-thousand-won one.
‘Hmm?’
For a moment, his mind went blank, and he forgot what was going on.
[Random Monster Summon]
Fwoosh!
With a burst of white smoke, something like molten lava surged up. Only then did he remember.
“Ah, screw it! Run!”
“Yes!”
He grabbed ChocoShroom’s hand and bolted back. The Paprika villagers froze at the sight of a monster appearing right before their eyes.
‘Huh?’
‘He can do that...?’
‘Summoning magic?’
Then, the real problem came.
“Huh.”
Thwack!
Parsley’s sword, in mid-swing, struck the monster directly.
[Magma Lizard]
The fearsome monster tilted its head.
—That name is savage lol
— What is that thing?
— Magma Lizard? lmao
The massive lizard was made of molten lava and swung its huge tail.
“Kyaaaaaa!”
Scalding lava swept out and melted every ore nearby.
Ssssshhhhh...!
Parsley, caught in the area, was no exception.
“Kyaaaa...!”
[par381 has been turned to stone.]
“P-Parsley!”
His nickname slipped out without thinking.
“Dammit! After that thing!”
“N-No way we can!”
“It’s coming! Run! Run!!”
Instead of chasing, the Paprika crew found themselves fleeing from the Magma Lizard. In the chaos, Zelo also escaped the mines.
‘Who the hell are those people...?’
The question still lingered.
***
Meanwhile, Almond continued speaking with the so-called sage, Donuts, at the farmers' market.
“Let me give you a lesson. Did you plant potatoes?”
“Ah, yes.”
“Strange, but why were you happy about this?”
— ?
— ??
— Was he?
— lol what is this?
Donuts pointed at the live price board.
“Excuse me?”
Almond had been happy because potato prices went up. He had planted them, and they’d soon be ready for harvest.
He answered honestly, “I planted potatoes, so I’ll be harvesting soon. Prices are skyrocketing, so of course I’m happy. Is that weird?”
“Harvesting soon, huh. How long does it take to harvest potatoes?”
Almond froze for a moment.
“That’s right. It’s exactly what you’re thinking.” Donuts chuckled like a man who had just imparted great wisdom.
‘I have no idea what he’s talking about.’
Almond didn’t understand a thing.
“Ah... haha. Yes...” He pretended to get it and let it slide.
— LOL pretty sure he didn’t get that
— Classic middle-manager reaction lol
— I don’t get it either
— Confused potatoes??
— What are you saying, Donuts?
Even Almond’s viewers couldn’t follow Donuts’s point due to an information gap.
“Hmm? You really don’t know? Why so quiet?” Donuts eyed him as if realizing something.
“Well, I...”
“Don’t tell me you don’t know how long potatoes take to harvest?”
Surprisingly, Donuts had perfectly pinpointed the reason. Almond didn’t know how long it took after planting to harvest.
“It’s one day. One day!”
So potatoes sprouted the day after planting? In real life, that would be a miraculous yield.
‘Whoa.’
For Almond, this wasn’t good news.
“Even if the price goes up now, it’s useless! You’ll have to check tomorrow’s price chart!”
So it took a day. Almond thought it would sprout as soon as he planted it.
“Why do you look so surprised? Weren’t you supposed to be a farmer?”
— That’s the face of someone learning this for the first time lol
— Just a farmer in name
— Of course, a fake farmer wouldn’t know
Muttering about “kids these days,” Donuts suddenly shifted into another lesson.
“Now here’s the real lesson.”
This wasn’t the teaching he had in mind at first. It was just something that accidentally turned into one due to Almond’s ignorance.
“Now you must be wondering, will my potatoes go up tomorrow?”
“Oh... Yes!”
Donuts was about to tell him tomorrow’s prices, but how?
— Ohhh
— Drumroll...
— One-take master class incoming
— Kya
— Trader’s lecture, let’s go
“Alright, look here.” Donuts pointed toward the sky.
The sun had set, and the moon had risen.
“You see that moon?”
“Yes.”
“Do you know what it means?”
“No.”
“That moon means forget potato prices. Get your butt to your fields!”
— ?
— Huh?
— What does that mean? lol
— LMAO
— Oh god lol
— This is why investing is risky, folks
It wasn’t nonsense.
“If my data is right... Monsters always go for the biggest field at night, which means you’re in the most danger.”
There was logic behind it.
Ding.
[(Whisper) SweetRadish: Almond! Radish Servant is dying! Monsters are coming!]
[(Whisper) Sweet Potato: Oh no, Potato Servant is dying too!]
— The whispers lol
— The servant duo!
— Hang in there, servants!
— Stop typing and fight, jeez
Donuts had been right. Monsters were currently raiding Sweet Radish’s fields again.
“Run! If you want to even cut your losses, you need those potatoes! If you can’t stop the monsters, it’s not cutting losses. It’s delisting!”
Shing!
Almond drew his sword and took off running.
— He’s sprinting like a madman lol
— LOL
— Delisted lmao
— At this rate, he’ll be collecting scrap paper
— Is Donuts’s theory really right??
“Run! Run! Why are you so slow for a young guy!”
Hop! Hop! Hop!
Almond moved much slower than expected.
[Movement Speed -20%]
Donuts clicked his tongue at the sight. “Ah, so frustrating. Kids these days... so leisurely. Leisurely!”
A moment later, after Almond vanished into the distance, Donuts turned to his viewers.
“You all heard him say potatoes, right? This isn’t stream sniping, is it?”
— Gasp
— Whoa
— Such a sly move
— Kya
“That’s why you never reveal your stock like that. Now, owner? I’ll sell all my potatoes.”
Donuts dumped all the potatoes he had stored, and he wasn’t alone.
“I’m selling mine too!”
“Same here!”
One by one, farmers started unloading their potatoes. Massive sell orders hit the market, and supply spiked.
— Whoa... capitalism is blue
— All Blue appears!
— LOL insane
— Kya
“I predict it’ll be worthless paper soon. Hah.”
[Roda has donated 30,000 won.]
[Donuts is cold...]
“It’s not about being cold. The game only works if the balance is kept. If those two combine forces and take over all the land, what’s everyone else supposed to do? This kind of check is inevitable.”
It wasn’t just trolling, but necessary counterplay. If one side ran away with the lead, pushback was bound to come.
Watching Almond’s silhouette fade into the dark, Donuts murmured, “A fine young man. That’s my real lesson. If you get too far ahead early, you’ll be pulled back. Tsk tsk.”
His true teaching was to not get too far ahead at the start.
— Kya, legendary
— What’s he even doing? lol
— Law of Pullback??
— Is this Ivy League stuff?
— Real teacher lol
— What if they hit you with a cheeky revenge?
— Can you even handle that, Donuts~
“What? Cheeky what? Oh, revenge? Nah. What they need isn’t revenge, it’s recovery!”
— Recovery lol
— How do you take revenge when you’re busy rebuilding
— Kya
— Economics? Watch DonuTube.
“They’ll take ages to rebuild. I know their situation well enough.”
Donuts exuded confidence when it came to economics.
— Donuts is on fire!
— Who said he only plays for money!
— This is his specialty
Donuts was an Ivy League economics graduate and a wealthy investor who had made serious money from stocks. He had poured that fortune into RPGs. Naturally, he felt confident in a game with economics.
“Alright, let’s go, Nonghyup boys.”
“Yes, sir!”
Clack!
The people around him bowed in unison and stepped forward. He had even formed a farmers’ union called Nonghyup that manipulated market prices.
“Sweet Radish tilled the soil, but never built a coalition. That’s the difference that’ll kill him. Hah!”
— Kya
— Three Kingdoms vibes, love it
— This is corporate life 101
— Rookies lol
Sweet Radish’s era would soon come to an end. Donuts and Nonghyup were only just beginning. Donuts seemed to predict everything before it happened, but he couldn’t foresee one thing.
[(Whisper) SweetRadish: Oh no! All of Almond’s corn is getting destroyed too!]
Almond had never planted potatoes.
[Translator’s Notes]
Nonghyup is a South Korean agricultural group and also acts as a bank.