Season 4: Chapter 89. Perfect Farm (2)
Fwooooosh!
The dragon’s breath blazed across the screen. Every monitor showed the explosive torrent of fire roaring through the village from a different angle.
“Eh!?”
“Huh?”
PD Jang and Park Oh-Hoon both looked stunned. Actually, it wasn’t just them. The entire production team froze in disbelief.
“Wh-What the hell is going on?”
“If this happens...”
“Oh god.”
Murmurs broke out one by one until PD Jang drove the final nail in. “We’re... we’re screwed.”
Plop.
The grape candy he’d been sucking on slipped from his mouth and hit the floor.
“What’s gonna happen to Paprika’s economic growth now?”
Paprika Village had been all but annihilated. They were supposed to balance out Cheese Village with their high combat strength as aggressive looters to keep things tense. The producers needed them to provide that suspense.
“Now we’re set back... what, at least three days?”
“Three? That’s not, wait, you mean in real time?”
“In real time.”
The server would run for roughly two weeks. It wasn’t official, but they agreed anything longer was pushing it. Now they would be three days behind.
“They didn’t just die. They dropped all their gear...”
“Can’t they just go pick it back up?”
Sure, weapons and armor would take some durability damage, but it was better than being lost forever. Still, wasn’t losing three days a bit dramatic?
“How? Almond is taking everything right now.”
PD Jang, not exactly known for his sharp eye in games, didn’t realize that Almond had survived.
“W-What!? H-How the hell did he survive?!”
“He had the Freeze debuff, which made him immune to fire.”
“When are the villagers coming back?!”
“Uh... it takes about fifteen seconds to respawn. Then, they have to run back. Earlier, they were dying in rotation, so someone was always there. Now... they all died at once.”
“Huh?”
Another staff chimed in from behind, “That Fertile Soil Almond is taking, I overheard one of the devs say it’s super important! You should see what the Cheese Village folks are saying!”
Almond strolled off with the precious Fertile Soil like it was nothing.
“Isn’t this a huge problem?”
“Ugh...” PD Jang scratched at his beard. “I don’t know anymore. Isn’t this what the game is about anyway? Hahaha.”
He just laughed it off. Survival Craft was always full of chaos. The fun was seeing how players responded to that chaos.
“They’ll figure something out. Pull an all-nighter and grind it out. Let’s just watch what happens.”
Meanwhile, Paprika Village already held an emergency strategy meeting.
“We can’t just let this slide. That unknown bastard... he might come back.”
“Shouldn’t we complain to the devs? Who the hell puts a Dragon Knight in the game on Day One?!”
“How do you even get that class? Shouldn’t we try to unlock it too?”
“Sis, look at our gear. What do you want us to do, go Dragon Poor mode?”
They misunderstood everything.
“D-Dragon Knight...?”
The dev team awkwardly scratched their heads. If this confusion spread, the players could go down a completely wrong path.
In dark times, a hero always emerged. Paprika had one too. Someone leaped onto a table and began to lead the discussion.
Thud!
“Alright! First things first, we need to get our gear back. We...” It was Shrimp, a streamer who had once been a server maker on Survival Craft. “No one is logging out tonight! We’re grinding through the night! That bastard took everything, and we’ve got nothing!”
Bam!
He jumped on the table, declaring it loud and clear. If they wanted to catch up, they would have to throw everything, even themselves, into the grind.
“If we want a miracle in this barren land, we’ve got no choice but to work for it!”
The other villagers nodded in solemn agreement.
“He’s right.”
“Feels like I’ve heard this speech before. Was it in a modern history textbook or something?”
The speech gave them a weird sense of deja vu, but Shrimp wasn’t wrong. They only had their bare hands left.
“From this moment on, we’ll rebuild a new village!”
“Wow! The New Economy Movement!”
“We must change to become stronger! The real enemy is that outsider! That so-called Dragon Knight! Remember this day, everyone! Do not forget our rage! Do not forgive!!!”
“YEAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
It felt like a political rally as rage flared in every villager’s eyes.
“Shrimp! Shrimp! Shrimp!”
“I’m not logging out tonight! It’s overtime, baby!!!”
“Those Cheese bastards and that Dragon Knight punk! You’re all dead!”
“We must remember the blood spilled on this land!!”
“I may be born with an iron spoon, but my kid is getting an obsidian one!!”
Almond’s rampage only made them stronger.
***
Meanwhile, in the peaceful Cheese Village where Almond had never set foot, sunlight streamed gently over the fields. It looked calm and idyllic, but that didn’t mean things were perfect. Some incidents had occurred.
First, the soil crisis happened. Farmers, unfamiliar with how the soil system worked, tried planting without understanding the mechanics. They ended up wasting all their seeds. The root of the problem was one particular NPC.
“I’m telling you! Farming doesn’t just happen!”
Zelo shook the village’s land manager, an NPC named Big Farm, by the collar.
Big Farm was in charge of all village land, managing plots, handling sales, and assigning ownership. In real-world terms, he acted like a monopoly real estate broker. Basically, he was the landowner. Messing with him wasn’t smart, yet Zelo had him by the collar and shook him like a rag doll.
Was it because Zelo was the most-watched streamer at the moment? No, NPCs didn’t care about viewer counts. Zelo was just that furious.
Shhhhk. Shhhhk.
Zelo growled as he shook the poor NPC. “Say something, damn it!”
— LOL stop shaking him~
— Dude got scammed by an NPC
— What even is this? Refund everything!
He was convinced that he had been conned.
“You said this land was good for farming!”
Big Farm kept his Buddha-like expression as he gently pushed Zelo’s hands away and answered slowly, “It can be farmed, can it not? There is no legal restriction preventing agricultural activity on this land.”
“L-Legal?! What kind of backwater village has laws? Are you telling me your claim was about legality?!”
“Of course, I merely stated whether farming is permitted. Whether it will succeed... is up to the heavens.” Big Farm serenely nodded with clasped hands as though in prayer. “Buddha’s blessing be with you.”
— What the, did he just drop a prayer? LMAO
— Was he a monk this whole time?
— LOL can’t believe he called on the Buddha
— Zelo’s crop failure was divine will
— Kyaaa
— I mean, he’s not wrong LOL
Zelo’s anger only grew.
“Ugh, if I keep talking to this guy, I’ll become a Buddha myself!”
— LMAO legendary NPC interaction
— I can’t with this guy LOL
— This is an enlightenment test LOL
“If you become a Buddha, is that not enough?”
That sage-like reply left Zelo briefly speechless, but he wasn’t done.
“L-Look at this! This soil, no, it’s not even soil. This is sand!”
Shhhk.
Soil cubes crumbled between his fingers.
Big Farm picked one up, studied it, and tilted his head. “This is soil with a twelve percent harvest rate. My statement remains accurate.”
“T-Twelve percent?!”
— LOL twelve percent, I can’t
— Big Farm spitting corporate nonsense again
— Plant ten seeds, maybe get one crop. Lucky day? You get two. Amazing.
— It’s pure RNG LMAO
“Yes. Legally speaking, farming is permitted on your land. And this soil provides a considerable chance of successful harvest.”
Zelo’s avatar turned beet red, reflecting his real-world fury. “You... you piece of...!”
Whack!
Zelo lost it and started smacking him with a stick. “Twelve percent?! You call that farming?!”
Smack!
“Bring out your boss! You’re just a middleman! I want the landowner!”
Wham!
— HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
— Oh my god
— This is gold
— Justice served!
— Ultimate Karen energy LOL
— “Bring out the manager!” vibes are unreal
Big Farm’s head bobbed with each hit, but he remained unfazed. “Please do not lead me into temptation.”
Slowly, he reached behind his back and pulled something out. Maybe it was because he was a landowner that he was loaded. The weapon he drew shimmered with a strange glow.
Vwooooom...
In this village, stone swords were already considered high-end.
Zelo instantly backed off. “O-Oh! I-I didn’t realize you were that kind of guy.”
— LOL the pivot
— Zelo retreat speedrun
— Deadass he did a 180
“If I swing this, there's about a ten percent chance you’ll die instantly. What do you think of that probability?”
“W-Wow! That’s extremely high! Very high!”
“And twelve percent is even higher, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Of c-course! Two percent more! That’s basically Lucky Big Farm!”
“Then is the issue resolved?”
“Y-Yes. Completely.”
— Lucky Big Farm, I’m crying
— He resolved it with logic LOL
— What was that sword though??
— You don’t mess with a property owner LOL
Zelo’s fists trembled. The chat laughed at him. A smug NPC had humiliated him, and now he was stuck with land ruined by bad soil and wasted seeds.
“Ha...” He nearly broke right then and there. “Everyone. I will rise again from this cursed land, and I’ll get my revenge.”
Who was he? The top streamer with the largest viewership. To him, this was the birth of a story arc and the tale of a glorious return.
“I’ll start from the bottom again. You get me?”
— ?
— What’s he planning now LOL
— What’s he gonna do?
“I’m quitting farming. I’ll become a miner.”
He chose to switch to the miner class.
— He really hit rock bottom LOL
— No like, actual rock bottom
— He meant it literally LMAO
Mining was the lowest-cost profession. Players simply needed a pickaxe to start digging underground. It sounded cheap, but it was risky.
The mines were basically monster dungeons. Get caught while digging, and one could die on the spot and lose everything they had gathered, possibly even their own gear. It was one of the most brutal jobs out there.
“A guy with nothing... This is all I’ve got left.”
— This is peak manual labor content
— Oi! Grab a shovel and get over here!
— If you got no skills, get to digging~
Duped by Big Farm and stripped of everything, Zelo had no choice but to mine. His future looked rough and filled with endless days of wandering through dark caves. Amid the despair, he spotted an opportunity.
“Wait a sec... our village doesn’t have any ore. Everyone is just focused on food. I’ll be rich if I bring back even a few chunks of iron.”
— Ooh
— That’s actually smart
— Zelo the businessman??
— Businessman Zelo! Businessman Zelo!
— Not a bad idea, honestly
Survival Craft was marketed as a chill game, but fighting monsters was unavoidable.
“When night falls, the monsters come out. What then?”
Eventually, villagers stuffed with crops would crave more power. Zelo figured they would need weapons, and weapons meant iron.
“I’ll mine all the ore! I’ll monopolize it!”
— Yoooo
— Let’s goooo~
— Zelo! Zelo! Zelo!
— Iron King Zelo!
His prediction was on point... well, almost. There was one thing he didn’t know.
“Finally, I reached the village. That took forever.”
— You’re just slow LOL
— Let go of your attachments and the journey shortens...
— It’s only far because you're carrying your whole inventory LOL
A massive shipment of iron ore was already en route from a distant land.
Boing, boing, boing.
Almond hopped down a small hill and arrived at the village gates.