Season 4: Chapter 82. If This Was the Plan, Why Do It Like That? (1)
“If you don’t wanna fight, just drop half of your gear and walk away,” Almond suggested to the hesitant opponent.
— LMAO who’s actually gonna leave it and walk away?
— The return of Lazy Soldier??
— Half? Really?
— Dude only needs a fishing rod, why take half the gear?
Viewers mocked Almond’s absurd offer. Honestly, there would’ve been no talking at all if the person in front of him had been an NPC. He would’ve simply attacked.
‘It’s because I know they’re a streamer... I can’t just kill them outright.’
He tried to maintain a basic level of respect only because this person was likely a fellow streamer he would cross paths with again in the industry.
“Guys, I’m only being polite because I think he’s another streamer. Please don’t flame me for not killing him right away.”
— Huh??
— Literally no one said that. What is he on about?
— Bro seeing ghosts in chat lmao
Almond had just beaten Black Pepper to death with his fists, yet here he was asking for some understanding. He was being completely sincere too.
“A-Alright...” Salt seemed to accept the offer.
— No way LOL is he really going to leave half??
— It actually worked??
— He’s really doing it??
‘If this turns into a real fight, our cover might get blown.’
They had just started. The gear wasn’t worth much yet. Salt decided to cut his losses and give up half. He could sense the subtle threat emanating from that little avatar pointing a blade at him.
‘This guy... isn’t normal.’
Just like Black Pepper, he came to the same conclusion.
‘Cheese didn’t just sneak us in... They’ve got their own shadow agents watching us.’
The producers wouldn’t let rival platform streamers have all the fun. Of course, they’d plant something. Salt believed that Almond was that very plant.
‘Fine, I’ll play along.’
In Survival Craft, roleplay was everything. To make the content entertaining, streamers acted like real villagers in an immersive story. Salt treated Almond’s outrageous demand as part of that story to elevate the show.
“Half, right?” He bent down to drop the gear.
“No,” Almond casually said while still holding his sword. “Actually, I’ll need you to drop everything.”
“What?”
— Wait what???
— He just changed the rules again lol
— Did this man forget what he said 10 seconds ago??
“No, think about it. I can’t tell if what you drop is really half or a third. If you drop everything, I’ll just take half.”
Almond wasn’t a split-personality psychopath. He just wanted to ensure that he got exactly what he deserved.
Ding!
[TodayToo has donated 30,000 won!]
[What is this, math class?]
— Almondoyle.
— Almondoyle! Almondoyle! Almondoyle!
— Is this the Church of Almondoyle now?
— Even Mom would say: Almondoyle.
— Accurate to the decimal, as always.
The chat exalted his sharp logic once again.
‘What the hell? He’s nuts.’
Salt grimaced, but had no way out now. “Fine, fine...”
Shk, shk.
He stripped off all his gear and emptied his inventory.
“There. Happy? Now you can... huh?”
Something felt off. Almond hadn’t lowered his weapon. In fact, he was inching closer.
“No, like... think about it. I can’t actually tell if that’s everything.”
— This guy is not okay LOL
— Bro is calculating suspicion in real time
— Maybe use that brainpower before asking them to undress
Now standing in nothing but his underwear, Salt protested. “Wh-What are you talking about?! You said drop everything, and I did!”
Almond kept approaching. “Well, you could be hiding something. Maybe you look like you dropped it all, but your inventory might still be full. That’s how I see it from my perspective.”
Almond wasn’t even trying to be creepy. He genuinely tried to be fair, which made it even scarier.
— Why is he explaining it so calmly like he’s the rational one? LOL
— This is actual horror now
— What kind of content is this?
“H-How would you even know? Come on, I’ve done enough... What more do you want?! Ugh?!”
Shhk.
Almond’s sword moved a little closer. His big, innocent eyes blinked slowly as he delivered the final line. “If you could just die for me, I’ll take only half. Promise.”
Because they were both streamers, he couldn’t kill Salt without asking first. That was his professional courtesy... in Almond’s mind.
— LMAOOOO
— Bro’s logic is: death first, loot second
— This guy needs to be stopped
— No, this is terrifying now fr
Salt’s brain froze trying to follow that logic.
‘Wasn’t the deal that I don’t die if I give up half?’
The terms had morphed into a paradox. To prove that what he dropped was half, he had to die. However, the whole point of dropping half... was to avoid dying. It was a never-ending loop. Every route led to death in Almondoyle’s paradox.
‘No. Hell no!’
Salt wouldn’t just accept that outcome.
‘In that case...’
Almond’s eyes flicked to his chat, momentarily distracted.
Salt lunged. “Screw it!!”
He only had one chance. If his sword could pierce Almond, all this submission would become the perfect bait.
Whoosh!
Almond dodged it frustratingly easily as if he knew it was coming. Salt’s desperate leap just made himself look more pathetic.
“H-Haha... I-I slipped.”
Almond stared at him like watching a squirrel trying to open a jar. Then, he laughed softly, “Ah. Haha.”
Their awkward laughter passed like a cold breeze. Then, Salt’s eyes blazed again.
“It was a fakeout!!”
Claaang!
Sparks flew as their swords clashed.
“D-Dammit?!”
Almond easily blocked him again. It wasn’t supposed to go like this.
Salt’s grip trembled. “I-I didn’t mean to...”
— Oof that hurt to watch
— Salt is struggling rn
— The panic in his voice lmao
— Blocked AGAIN? Are you kidding??
— Time to finish this
Almond glanced at the chat and grinned as he slashed forward. “I didn’t mean for it to be like this!”
Shhhk!
Salt, still without any gear, couldn’t last for more than three swings. His head cleanly flew off.
— That’s it
— Satisfying AF
— He was fishing for chat approval and it worked LOL
— “Didn’t mean for this” (smiling like a maniac)
— His lips haven’t dropped since he started grinning, bro
[sa474 has been slain.]
Dun dun.
Another server-wide kill notification rang out. Other streamers quickly chimed in.
[Bubblegum: What?? That’s actually terrifying]
[Miho: Huh? What is going on??? AGAIN???]
[Zelo: Let’s all just take it easy, please~]
[CutiePie: What what! Let me in! LOL]
[OldManDetective: Do I need to step in here?]
***
“Uwaaaaagh!”
Thud.
Salt respawned in the center of Paprika Village, collapsing in a heap.
“What the...?”
“Yo, why did you suddenly teleport back to the village? Wait...”
Black Pepper took one look at Salt, standing there in nothing but his underwear, and instantly understood.
“You died, huh? But how the hell did you lose your starter clothes too?”
Armor was one thing, but basic clothes stayed on even in death. Yet here was Salt, respawning in his boxers.
“Ah...”
In the panic of being told to drop everything, he even ditched his starter clothes.
Orange came rushing over. “Bro! Why are you naked? What is this?!”
“I died in battle! I fell gloriously!”
“Then explain what the hell happened!”
Salt recounted the incident.
“... That’s what happened.”
The fact that he still died even after trying to surrender half his gear had Orange cracking up. “Oh yeah? Glorious, huh?”
“It was glorious.”
“I mean... yeah, actually. That’s fair.” Orange nodded solemnly. “Anyway, what a bastard. That guy!”
His anger reignited.
Salt joined in with clenched fists. “Yeah! He’s pure evil! He planned to take everything from the start!”
“Totally! It was straight-up manipulation! That guy is clearly Cheese’s secret weapon!” Black Pepper, still seething from her own defeat, added fuel to the fire.
The other villagers gathered around, drawn by the commotion.
“What’s this? An unknown participant?”
“Did you lose your gear?”
“What’s their ID? Was it hidden?”
Someone even brought out paper and started sketching.
“Tell us what they looked like. We’re not letting this slide.”
Soon, they posted a rough sketch of Almond’s chibi character in the village square like a wanted poster.
[WANTED]
Almond had officially become a wanted criminal in Paprika Village in a single day.
***
“Oho! This is great!” Park Oh-Hoon gleefully zoomed in the camera on Salt’s nearly naked figure. “The Paprika streamers just issued a bounty! The whole village is putting up a reward!”
One of the best parts of Survival Craft was the freedom for players to invent their own systems. The game didn’t have an official bounty system, but the villagers created one out of necessity. They pooled the resources to fund it and divided the cost evenly among themselves.
“These people are struggling just to survive, and they’re already organizing a bounty.” PD Jang watched in fascination.
Paprika Village was barely hanging on as it was, but they still chose to spend what little they had to put a price on Almond’s head.
“They’re driven by rage. A few of them got killed before they could even get started...”
It was human nature. People didn’t always act rationally. Group emotion could override any logic, efficiency be damned.
“We don’t even need to stir the pot. They’re creating conflict all on their own.”
***
Meanwhile, blissfully unaware of his new wanted status, Almond sorted through his overloaded inventory and prepared to finally go fishing.
“Huh?” He paused and scanned his inventory again.
Something was off.
“There’s no fishing rod.”
The Paprika villagers didn’t start with one either. All they had were combat tools and no leisure gear.
— What??
— LOL you’re joking
— All that for NOTHING
— Then why the hell did he kill them? lmao
— He really thought they had a fishing rod??
— ??? “So... what did we die for...?”