Season 4: Chapter 72. LIL Squad Assemble (3)
The debate at Blue Boat continued. Almond, at the center of it all, curiously remained silent. The rest continued their heated arguments while defending themselves.
“The best team, obviously!”
“No, atmosphere is more important!”
“Ughh, where do I even fit in!?”
To summarize, the Tea faction insisted that the best possible team had to be assembled for the sake of victory. According to them, Balloon Stars scooping up Almond purely because of their relationship was illegal. (They literally used that word.)
“The rest are just filler if all the aces end up on one team, right?”
Balloon Stars rebutted that they needed to prevent that kind of one-sided stacking for the sake of entertainment. After all, this wasn’t some national league. It was just a fun platform battle. If all the skilled ex-Treevy players joined the same teams, what fun would the remaining matches be?
“You need the hard-carry, the comic relief, the brain, and the visuals all mixed together for it to be fun,” Tako argued.
Black Tea laughed and shot back, “What is this, a girl group? Are we assigning visual, main vocal, and dance positions now?”
“Oh ho~ Girl groups are nice though~” StrawberryShooter cut in, but Black Tea ignored him and pointed at Almond.
“And that guy has the visuals, vocals, dance, AND comic relief all in one! Everything except the brains!”
Bubblegum couldn’t let that one slide. “I still have more clown power...” he timidly rebutted.
“I am the brains, though,” Sang-Hyeon countered, as if he refused to yield on that one thing.
Of course, nobody responded to him, and the debate carried on.
“Did you see how viewer numbers plummeted after Treevy got flattened by Paprika?”
“Well, that was...”
“Heyyy, everyone is really here, huh? Haha.” Green Tea, Black Tea’s boyfriend, had arrived.
He probably came over after hearing from Black Tea. The problem was the others who came with him. Sweet Radish and Pickle had also tagged along. Things were starting to get ridiculous.
***
“Almond, the Demon King of exhibition matches, in a tournament. The undisputed number one in unofficial VNS stats, equal to even JeonJaPa.” Pickle sounded like he had memorized his speech as he rattled off praises for Almond nonstop.
Their strategy was simple: forget ideals and justifications. They just needed to make Almond want to join their team.
Pickle sang praises for Almond, and Green Tea teared up to fish for sympathy with sob stories. They used the classic carrot and stick.
“Mr. Almond, do you know that Sweet Radish got depressed for days after you absolutely demolished him during the LIL tournament?”
Sweet Radish lowered his head next to them, pretending to look miserable.
“We believe there’s only one way to overcome this. Teaming up with you, Mr. Almond!”
They were practically proposing to him. The only thing missing was a bouquet and someone kneeling.
“What a load of crap.” Black Tea pushed Green Tea’s face away.
“W-What?”
“I said you're full of crap! You’re spewing crap from your mouth! Is that a face or an ass?” Black Tea’s sharp tongue showed no mercy, especially not to her boyfriend.
“Y-You’ve totally lost it!”
“Why don’t you talk to me like that on our anniversary, huh?”
Faced with an impossible comeback, Green Tea simply shut his mouth. Sweet Radish stepped up in his place and approached with sparkling eyes like a missionary from church.
“Just as Black Tea said, even if we’re not a perfect team, I’ve always wanted to team up with you, Mr. Almond. Especially when we crossed swords in the mid-lane... I felt a chill. We’re connected. I’m sure of it.”
“Wow...” Lemon shook her head in disbelief.
“Is this a martial arts novel or what?”
“Wahaha! I was there for that match! Sweet Radish, you never even touched Almond’s sword. You got sliced up before you even raised your blade!” Bubblegum’s sharp jab didn’t even faze Sweet Radish, who smiled like some enlightened monk.
“Hmm, hmm~ No, I still believe we’re destined to be in sync.”
“Ugh. What is this act? Are you trying to be the hero, Himmel?” Lemon recoiled like she had seen something filthy.
In any case, the debate only grew more heated with no progress in sight.
Ju-Hyeok and Ji-Ah shook their heads at the chaotic scene.
“Wow... What even is this?”
“It’s like a fan convention for Almond. Go there and you’ll get trampled.”
“It’s totally a marketplace in here.”
“It’s an Almond pop-up store.”
They kept trying to find the best metaphor to describe the madness. In the middle of it all, Sang-Hyeon shook his head with a comparison that made no sense to them.
“Feels like Valentine’s Day at school.”
Ju-Hyeok and Ji-Ah turned to him like he’d just said something deeply unsettling. Sang-Hyeon had no hidden meaning to it.
‘What a sick bastard.’
Some bizarre school memories flashed through Ju-Hyeok’s mind.
‘Seriously, what a bastard...’
***
The news about the platform battle quickly spread across online communities.
[So this platform battle is actually happening]
— Whoa
— For real?? Paprika actually agreed to this?
— What’s going on?
— Damn, Paprika really went through with it
— Such a big move, respect
— Do they have some kind of hidden plan??? Cheese seems to be getting all the benefits
— Paprika probably remembers how well the last one with Treevy did last time. But this one’s gonna be different
— Either way, this is gonna be hilarious
— LOL this is gonna be epic. At least Almond is on Cheese now
— Paprika’s team is gonna be too strong, don’t you think? lol
Most reacted similarly. First, they expressed shock that Paprika had agreed. Second, they believed that it wouldn’t be a fair match. That sentiment was so strong that one post even made it to the top of the trending page
[#3. Cheese should just go full meme and not even try to win.]
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Just throw together a total boomer squad: Bubblegum, Acorn Jelly, and Horn Ramen. Then get obliterated for laughs. That’s Cheese’s only path.
==== ====
— LMAO two of those guys don’t even play LIL anymore
└ Exactly. That’s why they’ll get destroyed.
└ How far do you want them to fall...? Please, have mercy...
— LMAO they better at least give us some laughs before losing. A 10 minute stomp isn’t funny.
└ For real lol there won’t even be time for jokes
└ Just imagining that squad cracks me up
└ Middle-aged detective is like Bubblegum’s twin in sheer lack of talent
└ That’s the real talent on Treevy!
└ Treevy’s dead, bro...
A post argued that if Cheese were to lose anyway, they had to go out with a bang. It received so many upvotes that it climbed to the top three trending posts. That alone showed the stark power gap between Paprika and Cheese. After all, the two platforms had different guiding principles. One focused on skills, and the other on entertainment.
Skilled players would underperform on Cheese while less skilled ones would excel. The difference was bound to be overwhelming. Naturally, this led to a specific opinion forming among those who supported Cheese, especially in the Cheese Rush community.
There, this sort of talk was rampant.
[Cheese needs to build their team properly.]
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They’ll just get steamrolled if they go soft and try to distribute roles for fun, and the whole thing will spiral into a boring Paprika civil war that makes all the viewers bail.
==== ====
— They need a best-of-five lineup.
└ Then what about the rest of the streamers, lol?
└ What can you do? They suck.
└ Even with the best five, it’d still be a close call. Let’s be real lol
└ Fr tho, anyone who watched Paprika destroy Treevy in real-time would never ask, ‘What about the other streamers?’ They’d be asking, ‘What about the remaining viewers?’
└ LOL frfr. Only the viewers would be left standing.
└ Ack lol
— Is it really that bad? They've got Almond, Black Tea, and Sweet Radish... not bad, right?
└ That’s three people.
└ LOL Are you serious? Scraping by with just three names lol
└ "Not bad" = three people lol
How to form a team had become an issue, not just for the streamers but also for the fans rooting for them. Especially for viewers who still remembered how Treevy had been completely wiped out by Paprika in the past. For them, this wasn’t just some fun side event anymore.
This was a battle for pride, a must-win event. Of course, some opposing opinions existed too.
[But what’s the point if you throw a bunch of people together who aren’t even close?]
==== ====
Everyone says it’ll be fun, but tossing together strangers who barely talk will make the mood turn awkward the moment someone dies, and you end up with ten minutes of dead air. You want that? Lol
==== ====
— Even close friends end up getting awkward eventually.
└ So what do you think happens with people who aren’t close at all?
— Yeah, everyone’s way too fired up. So what if we lose a little?
└ Hmm~ traitor~
└ Did this guy really just say "traitor" lol
New opinions began forming.
— Are they literally staking their lives on this game lol
└ Crying like it's a national war in Civil Empire
└ That’s not a game, that’s a sport, bro.
└ LOL wtf lol
└ You think Father Cookie, who actually risked his life, would see this as some fun event??
The viewers pulled in all kinds of references. Then, a new perspective emerged.
[Wouldn’t playing with close friends actually help performance?]
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Stacking the team with strong players doesn’t mean you’ll do well. Haven’t you watched LIL Champs? No matter how much money they threw at it, it all fell apart when the chemistry was off.
You need a bit of camaraderie and teamwork.
==== ====
Apparently, friendship improved performance too. After all, LIL was a team game. Synergy often mattered more than individual skills.
— Yeah, that’s why ancient Sparta had so many gay soldiers.
└ I don’t think you need to be that close...
└ LOL what the hell
└ LMAO wtf lol
└ Choosing top and bottom lanes would be a nightmare... just to clarify, we're talking about LIL.
└ Bro this guy is unhinged lol
— Let’s say you’ve got good synergy with Bubblegum, can you win the championship with him on your team?
└ Almond already did.
└ "I already did that."
└ The moment these LIL nerds said, “Can you even?” Almond already did it lol
So much debate continued back and forth. In the end, it boiled down to this.
[Team up with Bubblegum and farm laughs vs...]
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Win the platform tournament and stamp the platform’s name into viewers’ heads right at launch.
==== ====
They had to choose between victory or comedy.
— Oops, while you were deciding, Almond already took both lol
└ Wtf lol
└ Fr tho, he really did both —_—
└ Winning the LIL tournament with Bubblegum on the team? That’s legendary.
└ He even won the Civil Empire tournament lol
└ LMAO
Of course, one guy who had already accomplished both.
“So, Almond...”
Everyone from the LIL tournament had gathered and now stared at him.
“What are you going to do!?”
In the end, he had to decide.
‘How did it come to this?’
Sang-Hyeon thought he just needed to pick his own team. Somehow, the debate had spiraled to the point where all the former Treevy streamers expected him to determine the team-building philosophy.
Black Tea, Miho, Sweet Radish, and everyone all asked at once, “Victory or fun?”