Season 4: Chapter 41. Assemble! (2)
Almond’s physiognomy-based deduction continued without pause.
— Someone please stop this guy
— LOL is he even right tho?
— Instead of filtering people out all at once, maybe find actual clues in the game?
— Now that he solved the math puzzle, we’re entering the Age of Almondoyle, rip lol
Almond was growing impatient with the full-clear mission looming over him. He wanted to deduce and eliminate the mastermind as quickly as possible.
Ding.
[MathDemon has donated 10,000 won.]
[You clearly have talent in math... maybe you should try arithmetic instead of
deduction?]
Someone tried to bribe him to stop.
"Yes, thank you for the donation, DeductionDemon."
— LOL what??
— He didn’t even read it right hahaha
— Did he just rename them in real-time? LMAO
— Almondoyle’s deduction saw-blade is spinning—he hears nothing now
— "DeductionDemon" is a smear campaign at this point lol
Nothing reached the hell-bent Almond anymore. His eyes burned with focus to spot anyone suspicious. He wasn’t going to stop until someone died.
"Alright, everyone? Let’s all take a seat, shall we?"
Things finally seemed to be shifting gears. The teacher stepped into the center of the clubroom, ready to begin what looked like the real modeling lesson. The students formed a circle and sat around her.
Ding.
[RubySword has donated 10,000 won.]
[Mafia, please lift your heads. Bang~! ]
— LOL
— That’s literally what’s happening right now
— AHAHA
— Is this Mafia or a modeling club?
Ding.
[Factos has donated 3,000 won.]
[Why hasn’t anyone died yet? Because this is an ad, obviously lol]
— LOL true
— If you don’t wanna die, wire the money~
— At least they're keeping to some bare minimum of decency
— They’ve been exposed... yikes
Once everyone had settled in, the teacher introduced herself.
"Welcome to the Modeling Club, everyone. I’m the teacher, Chae Sung-Eun, and I’ll be your instructor. I’m here today thanks to the goodwill of a very kind sponsor, and I hope you all have a wonderful time."
“Waaaah!”
The students clapped enthusiastically.
"For our first day, the seniors will demonstrate their walking techniques, and then the new members will try it out. Let me start with a sample."
She began by demonstrating her posture. With a straight waist and elegant steps, she walked with the poise of a model straight out of a commercial.
"Wow~"
"Alright, seniors. Your turn?"
The senior students stood up and struck their poses one by one, showing off their walks.
"Ooh."
"Nice."
Their juniors clapped and cheered. Some of the seniors smiled awkwardly. Bubblegum, seasoned by years of gaming, felt a chill of incoming doom around this point.
‘Wait a second... don’t tell me I have to do it too?’
He was forty with red hair and streetwear that screamed cool guy. Now, he faced the prospect of doing a runway walk.
"Alright. Jeong Dae-Man?"
Everyone turned to look at Bubblegum.
— Wasn’t this supposed to be an exorcism game?
— LOL
— Wait, do they actually have to do it??
— Guess exorcism = EX-terminating forty-year-olds
— "Exorcism" is short for "Exterminate the middle-aged" now?
His face flushed red.
‘Dammit.’
For a game streamer, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Acting like a clown on his stream now and then was part of the job, but this wasn’t just any ordinary day on stream.
"You there, standing next to him. You’re friends, right? How about you go together?"
He had to do the walk... with Almond. The comparison would be brutal. It could end up worse than when Suyeon went "Wow, you’re actually so ugly!"
"Wooo~!"
Suddenly, someone shouted out in support.
"You’re all handsome~!"
Bubblegum’s eyes went wide.
‘What did they just say?’
— Again??
— ??? They said "you’re all..." again
— That’s our guy
— Is it the same NPC from before? I think they’re just really polite lol
Fueled by the unexpected compliment, Bubblegum found his courage.
"Alright, screw it. This is what it means to be a streamer."
With his red hair and billowing wide-leg pants, he marched forward and tried to mimic the walking style as best as he could.
Hup. Hup.
— LOLOLOLOL
— Oh no...
— This is how Dad makes a living!!
— The weight of being the breadwinner... (he’s literally the heaviest one here)
— Oh naur...
The chat spiraled into chaos.
"Ooh..."
"Not bad."
"Yeah, yeah!"
"Way to go, man~!"
The students clapped and cheered.
‘Huh? What’s this?’
Bubblegum could tell with all his gaming experience. The game had some kind of hidden evaluation system in play. He didn’t know why, but one thing was certain.
‘We were right to choose the Modeling Club.’
Having to put in this much effort meant they were on the right path.
"Great job. That was nice."
The teacher clapped and gave her evaluation.
— Ooooh
— He passed on the first try??
— She said it was good?? Jackpot
Bubblegum had done shockingly decent.
"You all saw that, right? She said I did well~"
Of course, evaluations were always relative.
"Okay. Next?"
Clap.
With a cue from the teacher, Almond stepped forward. His golden hair swayed as he began to walk. In truth, figuring out the culprit preoccupied his mind. He was just walking on autopilot. All he did was mimic what the teacher had done earlier.
"WOOOOOOW!"
Clap clap clap!
The students erupted into applause. Some even stood up and screamed.
"That was insane!"
"This guy is a legend!!"
One kid even did a handstand.
"He flipped the stage upside down!"
More like he flipped himself upside down.
— ??
— LMAO what
— Facial recognition is going wild right now
— Why is someone doing a handstand? lol
— What the hell is happening? LOL
— Wait, does physical movement give bonus points to looks now? Free pass
— Isn’t this the normal reaction though???
— Bubblegum’s face right now LMAOOOO
Watching the Modeling Club students bounce around like monkeys at a zoo, Bubblegum couldn’t help but feel utterly betrayed. After all, they barely gave him a golf clap while sitting cross-legged when he did the runway walk. Frankly, the result wasn’t surprising.
Model walking was essentially a battle of mechanical precision regarding how accurately and gracefully one could control their movement. In a sense, it wasn’t that different from combat stats. Almond, with his naturally superior physical capabilities, was bound to perform well. It definitely wasn’t because of his face.
At least, Bubblegum tried to tell himself that. He couldn’t help but feel bitter after everything he’d been through.
"That damn face."
Ding.
[GumLifeTheatre has donated 3,000 won.]
[Bubblegum hates handsome people. Just hates them.]
— LOL
— Uncle Gum! Please, be born handsome in your next life~
— The narration voice is killing me lol
— What does it even mean to be handsome?
— "GumLifeTheatre" I can’t lmao
"I’m not that bitter, okay?! I’m not the kind of person who just irrationally hates attractive people, alright?!"
Ding.
[YouCrying? has donated 5,000 won.]
[Unnnnnngh~ Don’t be like that~]
— LOL
— AHAHA
— You Crying?
Bubblegum was rendered speechless by the second wave of abuse from the chat and donations. He looked around in desperation.
"Dammit... Where is he? My savior! My senior!!!"
— Oh Gum...
— Searching for Mr. ‘You’re all handsome’
— Does he have to go this far hahaha
— Senpaaaaaai~
The one person who had ever told him he was handsome. Bubblegum just wanted to see that guy again. He scanned the room and found him.
"Sen... huh?"
At that very moment, Almond was pointing directly at that person too.
‘Is Almond ruling him out?’
Almond had been filtering people based on polygon counts and face-reading nonsense. He crossed off anyone who didn’t look like the villain. Apparently, that senior had made the cut.
***
"Oh sure, right."
Manager Kim scoffed, no longer buying into any of it. He raised his voice as if to convince himself.
"Like I said, it’s just probability, okay? Anyone he randomly picks is obviously not the culprit!"
It didn’t matter who Almond pointed at. Statistically, he was bound to be right for now. The face-reading and polygon counts were all crap.
"Exactly. That’s right."
Much of this grounded thinking was thanks to Assistant Manager Kim’s efforts. After multiple interventions, he had finally cured Manager Kim’s Almond deduction phobia.
"Huh?"
Their eyes suddenly widened as they saw who Almond pointed at.
"Puhahahaha!"
The Kim duo burst out laughing.
"So he finally got it wrong, huh?"
"Right? Even with the odds in his favor, it can happen! Looks like our luck is turning too!"
Out of all the people Almond had eliminated so far, that person was actually the culprit. Even after narrowing the group down by quite a bit, the odds of this happening were still less than one in twenty.
Almond had made the wrong call. He was about to toss this person aside with yet another absurd justification. From there, the deduction would spiral out of control. Eventually, he’d be forced to go back and solve things properly step by step, the long way.
"The sun is finally shining on us! Aaaahh!"
Manager Kim raised his beer in triumphant joy.
"Kyaaaaah!"
Assistant Manager Kim joined in with a toast.
Clack.
Their two cans clashed.
Bang!
‘Wait.’
That wasn’t the right sound. The noise had come from the monitor.
"B-Bang?"
The Kim duo flinched. Their bodies trembled like the carbonated beer cans in their hands. If their blood were soda, they would’ve exploded from the pressure.
"Wh-What the hell was that? Huh?"
Manager Kim grabbed Assistant Manager Kim’s shoulder, practically begging for an explanation. However, the one who answered wasn’t him. It was Almondoyle.
***
"Bang!"
Almond hadn’t dismissed him. It had been a direct accusation instead.
— ?
— ??
— Bang?
— He’s at it again lol
— Target No. 4?
— Let’s hear the logic lol
The viewers brushed it off as another one of Almond’s episodes, especially given the reasoning he followed up with.
"They look just like the villain."
— What kind of logic is that? lol
— The ol’ "just look at ‘em" method
— He’s not even trying anymore lmao
"Their polygon count is about twenty percent higher too."
He raised his index finger with a self-satisfied look as if he had just stated something scientific.
— LMAO
— Twenty percent higher polygon count! Bro’s just making stuff up now
— His face says "Sherlock," but his brain says "face reader"
— The way he’s dead serious makes it so much worse lol
Thud!
Someone slammed a table.
"Hey, you punk!"
Bubblegum was livid. Of all people, it had to be him!?
‘You bastard, let me hear that I’m handsome just once!’
He jabbed a finger at Almond and marched toward him.
"Almond! That senior is not that kind of person!"
"I’m telling you, I’m sure..."
"You’re sure because of polygons?! That’s ridiculous!"
"No, really! This guy has way more than the others!"
Bubblegum spread his arms wide to block Almond.
"No! I won’t let you! This person is not it!"
This was the one person who had told Bubblegum that he was good-looking. The one senior he’d been able to rely on. Bubblegum refused to believe that he could actually be the villain’s henchman. That everything he’d said had been a manipulative lie.
— What’s wrong with him? lol
— Why is this so dramatic?
— Is Gum hyung about to cry?? LOL
— He’s treating him like his actual son or something lmao
Almond’s viewers, who didn’t know the full story, flooded the chat with question marks. To Bubblegum, this was life or death. The same was true for the Kim duo watching the stream.
"Please! If there’s a God, not this time!!"
"Come on, Bubblegum! Just once! Win one time!!"
They rooted for him with everything they had. By this point, certain unfortunate souls had already received a dreaded message on their phones.
Bzzzzzz.
[CEO: Modeling Department. Assemble.]
‘What the hell?’
Rubbing sleep from their eyes, the employees stared blankly at their phones.