Season 4: Chapter 39. The Modeling Club (3)
Somewhere inside an unknown university building, Almond and Bubblegum huddled together for a deep discussion. They had run into a serious problem.
"Bro, the issue isn’t just our student numbers and IDs. Honestly, our clothes are a problem too."
They needed more than expected to get into the Modeling Club.
"Yeah, you’re right."
Bubblegum nodded in agreement. The problem wasn’t just confirming their identities. How could they walk in wearing what they had on? After all, they were aiming for the Modeling Club. Did it make sense to show up in a shaman’s robe and a monk’s garb?
"Should I just take the clothes off?"
"Are you crazy, Almond?"
Of course, they couldn’t just strip down and walk around. The game’s AI could distinguish clothing types and tell if someone was naked or not.
— Honestly, Almond would get a free pass even if he stripped down.
— Hahahaha
— This guy is trying to cheat again.
It would be impossible even if they used a cheat code. Given how much freedom this game allowed, stripping down could trigger the police to show up and arrest them.
"Come on. There’s no way a game like this has police. It’s not GTA... Wait, are you kidding me?"
"Over there. By the club booths. There are actual police, and they’re doing interviews!"
Bubblegum’s worries suddenly came true. They didn’t even have to walk around half-naked. The police were already looking for them. They were too far to clearly hear, but captions hovered above the cops’ heads.
"Ah, so you’re saying a handsome guy is walking around with a sword, and he’s with some monk?"
"Yeah. And the monk... well, he’s not handsome."
Bubblegum’s face froze at that unnecessary detail.
— Hahaha, what is that? lol
— Why are they emphasizing that the monk isn’t handsome? lol
— It’s just a description, folks!~
— Ahaha, this is nuts, lol
The conversation continued.
"Alright. Were they doing anything suspicious?"
"They were talking about catching ghosts, and they spoke with the Exorcism Club."
"The Exorcism Club?"
"Yeah, they’re weird too. They claimed that they put people in comas."
"You mean the victims on the theology building’s rooftop?"
"Yeah, those guys!"
How did it get so twisted? Actually... no, that was exactly how Su-Yeon had promoted the club.
— They’re doomed, lol
— Even the exorcism club’s going down, lol
— Poor Su-Yeon, lol
"Hmmm."
After hearing all that, Almond’s expression also looked troubled.
"Isn’t this all getting kind of messed up?"
"Almond, things already got messed up when we launched the Angler into space."
— Haha, so true.
— Why’s he acting like this is the first problem? lol
— Ahahaha.
Almond simply didn’t get it.
"That was just the way to clear it. So what?"
He decided to be shameless about it. After all, they had already defeated the Angler.
"Ahem. Whatever. What are we supposed to do now?"
"Seeing the police gave me an idea."
"What is it?"
Bubblegum felt a shiver of unease, but he was desperate enough to cling to anything. Wasting time here would kill the playthrough stream. In the worst case, he’d have to cosplay as a monk. Even worse, he could end up dressing as a bunny girl.
"What is it!?"
The urgency made him snap at Almond again.
— Calm down, bro, lol
— Haha, he’s freaking out, lol
— This is hilarious.
"Uh, no... I mean... I’m still searching."
"Searching?"
Almond glared out the window at the students one by one.
"Let’s secure a new identity and get new clothes."
"You can do that?"
"Yeah. It’s perfect since the police are already after us."
Bubblegum didn’t quite understand at first.
***
As Bubblegum puzzled over Almond’s idea, Almond had already begun rummaging for something.
‘No way.’
Almond said he needed a blunt object and suddenly pulled out a bright red fire extinguisher.
"I thought of something."
He had been eyeing a character the same height and build as him. An NPC wandering the university aimlessly without any importance. It didn’t take long for the fire extinguisher’s shadow to loom over that NPC’s head.
‘It’s for the stream.’
Almond didn’t hesitate when it came to the stream.
Thunk!
"Ahhhhh!"
"What the hell!?"
"W-What are you doing!? What are you planning!?"
To everyone’s surprise, one of those screams belonged to Bubblegum. Students scattered in panic as Almond grabbed the unconscious student’s legs and dragged him toward any building he could find.
"Help me!"
"T-This...? But the police... ah, shit! Fine!"
Thud.
Bubblegum had no choice but to help drag the student’s legs and slip into a bathroom.
Ding.
[EggPlant has donated 3000 won.]
[This game is a co-op crime game. Please cooperate!]
— Hahahaha
— Now it’s truly co-op, lol
— This is nuts.
— Is this GTA? lol
— They’re really doing it like this, lol
— Is this even allowed??
— Deduction: Let’s get physical
***
A moment later, Almond emerged wearing a neat and normal university student outfit. No monk or shaman robes could be seen.
He confidently said, "Alright. Time to figure out what my name is."
He flipped the student ID in his hand.
"Looks like I’m Kim Sang-Won."
— He’s really deducing now, lol
— Hahaha
— That deduction is next-level, lol
— How is this happening? lol
Almond slipped the student ID back into his pocket.
"With this, I’ll head to the Modeling Club. Now we need to find yours, bro."
Bubblegum was stunned.
"No way, you actually solved everything?"
A new identity, clothes, and student ID—everything had been covered. Sure, the police were still on their trail, but weren’t they already being chased anyway?
‘Ah. That’s it.’
They hadn’t lost anything. Instead, they could gain what they needed. Finally, Bubblegum understood what Almond had meant all along. He clasped his hands together in a prayer.
‘The strategy... is Almondoyle.’
— Hahaha, is this a new religion?
— The founding of the Church of Doyle, lol
— Strategy is Almondoyle. Amen-doyle.
— For real, he got it all done in one go, lol
***
Some time passed.
Bang!
A fresh commotion erupted from the bathroom.
Creaaak.
The door swung open. Out stepped Almond and Bubblegum, completely transformed. Bubblegum had shed his monk’s robe and, to everyone’s surprise, his hair had grown back.
— What’s with the hair? lol
— Bubblegum’s hair is so luscious, damn.
— Bald cheat code missed out.
Flick.
Bubblegum smoothed his new collar as if pleased and checked his student ID.
"I’m... Jeong Dae-Man?"
Jeong Dae-Man was the name of the main character in a famous basketball show.
— Haha, the man of flames!
— Jeong Dae-Man, lol
— Jeong Dae-Man of the midgets.
"Let’s go."
"Yes."
Almond and Bubblegum, fully disguised, headed back to the Modeling Club.
"Welcome! If you join the Modeling Club, you’ll get free posture correction and walking lessons! Even if you’re not aiming to be a model, it’ll boost your quality of life!"
They easily spotted the tall students holding up signs.
"Ahem. We’d like to join too." Bubblegum stepped up first.
"Uh..."
Thankfully, the NPCs didn’t recognize them. Who would’ve guessed that the bald monk and shaman just minutes ago would now be standing there looking so neat?
"Yes, please write down your student number and phone number here. And show us your student ID too."
The problem was their student ID photos. The pictures didn’t really match their actual faces. They could only hope the game would gloss over this inconsistency.
"Hmm..."
The girl at the desk eyed the ID closely.
Bubblegum switched to the mic channel and grumbled. "Come on, is this an immigration office or what~!"
Apparently, the photos looked too different for comfort. Almond was also under scrutiny.
"Uh... this photo looks really different from you, sir."
They were getting rejected. Almond quickly racked his brain. Even in real life, photos were hard to verify unless they looked completely different. A decent, made-up excuse could work.
"I just... had a bit of plastic surgery. Over break."
He tried the most plausible lie he could think of.
"Oh..."
The girl’s eyes widened.
"Wow, where did you get it done? It looks amazing."
— Ah, come on, lol
— It’s always you! Facial ID check, lol
— Plastic surgery, really?
— Hahahaha
— Almondoyle! Almondoyle! Almondoyle!
— It actually worked, lol
— This is all thanks to Reina’s blessing, huh
Almond casually said it was at MixedNuts Plastic Surgery. The girl, impressed, accepted the story and allowed him to join.
"Okay, we’ll contact you later with this number."
Just like that, Almond’s immigration screening was a success. Now it was Bubblegum’s turn.
"Ah, but... your friend here, his face also seems... pretty different?"
Though Bubblegum’s build looked similar enough, his face definitely didn’t. Bubblegum didn’t worry. Almond had already paved the way. He smiled and gave the same excuse.
"Oh, uh... me too. I had some work done..."
The girl looked from the student ID to Bubblegum and back again. Then, her eyes grew teary, and she nodded slowly.
"I see... I really hope you recover fully. Thank you for joining our club. I’ll contact you at this number."
— Hahahahahaha.
— ??? Lol
— Recover fully? What the hell? lol
— I’m not buying this game! No way
— This is wild, lol
Ding.
[FaceRating has donated 10,000 won.]
[Bubblegum’s face = in need of treatment]
— So harsh, lol
— It’s on a relative scale, right? It has to be, right??
— He’s not that bad, come on!
— For someone in their twenties, yeah, it’s a bit rough, lol
— He’s got that cuteness going though, come on!
Bubblegum took all the heat with his face being compared left and right. The NPCs in this game were all just coded to be harshly honest. Almond always seemed to dodge it while Bubblegum took it head-on. Either way, they finally made it into the Modeling Club.
***
The next day in the game, two men stood in front of the Modeling Club.
Dudun.
Bubblegum was short and round with bright red hair. Almond was taller, blonde, and perfectly proportioned. They curiously balanced out like yin and yang. A fitting description came from a donation.
Ding.
[RubySword has donated 30,000 won.]
[Pat & Mat]
— Hahaha, they’re exactly like them.
— It’s official now.
— Those hair colors really sell it, lol
— They’re straight-up Pat and Mat now, lol
— The Goats and Jokes are in peak form!
There were also other takes.
[EggPlant has donated 3000 won.]
[Young Forty & Young Thirty]
— Hahaha.
— Thirty is still young, cut him some slack!
— Eggplant, your time is coming too, lol
Red and Yellow, aka Shaman and Monk, aka Pat and Mat, knocked on the club room door.
"Yes~" a bright voice replied as the door opened.
Then, the owner of the voice went pale.
"Oh. Are... are those really your hair colors?"
"Ahem. Well, I’m the man of flames, after all," Bubblegum explained.
They had actually gone to a salon near the campus. Even the local businesses around the campus featured their own content. The salon allowed them to customize their appearances. Bubblegum had suggested a younger look, so Almond ended up dyeing his hair too.
"Come in, please."
Just like that, the Modeling Club admitted them. The moment they stepped in, Almond’s eyes scanned everything.
‘There’s something strange in here.’
As they entered, the student who opened the door followed and asked, "Uh... what’s your name?"
"Almond."
"Ah, Almond? That’s a cool name, but... what’s this?"
The student pointed to something at Almond’s waist. It was the Exorcism Sword.
"This? It’s fashion."
"Oh... fashion..."
It was a half-hearted answer, but they let it slide.
— Fashion, lol
— Edgy fashion sense, damn.
— Hahaha, they just accepted it, lol
Creaaak.
A different door opened, and someone new appeared.
"Oh my~ New freshmen? So many of you! Nice to meet you."
She didn’t look like a student. She looked like she was in her late thirties with a strikingly elegant appearance.
"I’m the teacher here."
Bubblegum and Almond immediately focused on her. She was obviously the most suspicious person there.
"With the help of kind people, I’m offering free lessons here."
She sounded suspiciously sweet.
— There’s something off about her...
— Is this a cult?
— She’s definitely the one, huh?
Clearly, they had to keep an eye on this teacher. Still, despite the weird vibe, she seemed well-respected within the club.
"Teacher! Hello!"
"Wow, you came early! We brought lots of new members!"
Students clustered around her, each one bragging about the freshmen they had recruited. Apparently, bringing in new members was the ultimate achievement here. The student who had recruited Almond and Bubblegum was no different.
"How about these guys? They’re good-looking, right?"
"Oh~ they really are. Welcome."
The teacher beamed at them, and Bubblegum’s face turned red.
‘We’re... all good-looking?’
— Hahaha, they’re "all" good-looking?
— A bundled compliment, lol.
— Did the algorithm average them out or something?
— Bubblegum’s lifelong wish finally fulfilled, damn.
— ??? "Us??” She said "us...”
— Bubblegum is going to be loyal to this club forever.
— Fyi, for some people, that’s just a daily comment...
[Translator’s Notes]
Jeong Dae-Man is the name of the main character in the famous basketball anime, Slam Dunk! Slam Dunk is very famous in Korea.