Season 4: Chapter 24. Oni (3)
"Oni? Are these the difficult yokai you were talking about?" the slightly irritated manager asked the assistant.
To him, the oni suddenly appearing didn’t seem all that threatening.
Even though Almond struggled because his talismans weren’t working, the manager figured that they would get through this part easily once Bubblegum got back up. After all, Bubblegum was still an above-average player.
"No, these are only grade 3."
Thankfully, these weren’t the strong yokai the assistant had mentioned earlier.
"But... they’ll still take up some time."
"Really?"
"Yes, the Shaman has to use their brain here. These guys have special abilities, and it’s tough to counter them."
"Use their brain, huh..."
The manager grinned.
"Neither of those two uses their brain."
The assistant chuckled and joined in.
"And one of them doesn’t even have hair."
“Pwahaha!”
The two laughed and clinked their beers together.
***
"Die, human!"
Several oni rushed at Almond all at once.
Whoosh!
Their clubs grazed his sleeves over and over.
‘Honestly, I think I can hold out until Bubblegum gets up.’
Almond still managed to dodge, but he had no idea what the Shaman was supposed to do here. He figured Bubblegum would eventually get up and fight.
CRASH!
One oni slammed a gong and shouted, "Korean drums! Drop the beaaaat!"
‘What the hell?’
Almond blanked out.
— ???
— LMAO
— Joseon rave?
— What is happening?
CLANG! BOOM!
All kinds of traditional instruments erupted in a cacophony.
Another oni with a gong screamed out, "Grandma who got caned forty-seven times!"
"Grandma!"
"RIP! RIP! Blood for blood! We beheaded the governors!"
"Chop 'em up!"
— WTF LOL
— Yoooo
— Joseon AK-47 confirmed
— Joseon was the hood fr
— Devs are insane
"Now the street punks stutter when they see me!"
The chaotic music was one thing, but there was a more practical issue.
‘They’re getting faster!?’
The oni’s movements picked up as fast as the beat.
Whoosh! Zip!
They laughed hysterically as their clubs sped up.
"Snatch it! Gold and jewels! So cool! What’s this!?"
"What’s this!?"
— Eminem-goblin is going off!
— They’re kinda cute tho
— But this fight got hard real quick LOL
It wasn’t just their swings.
Jingle!
Coins scattered everywhere, and they weren’t just for show. Each one dealt damage.
‘Ack!’
[HP: 92%]
Almond finally took a hit. He hadn’t expected coins to explode from their clubs. It wasn’t enough to dodge just their swings. Now he had to dodge shrapnel too.
‘What even is this?’
In this narrow storeroom, the oni’s swings and the flying coins made dodging almost impossible. Then, it happened.
Ding!
[RubySword has donated 30,000 won!]
[Almond, I think you need to revive Bubblegum.]
Almond looked over at Bubblegum, who was still lying down. Looking closer, a [Hold to Revive] icon hovered above him.
"So... he had actually died."
— LOL fr
— That explains it
— No wonder he was down for so long
— Ohhhh...
Such a system commonly existed in co-op games. When one teammate died, they entered an incapacitated state where another teammate could still revive them. A total party wipe was the only true game over. Apparently, this game featured the same mechanic. Bubblegum was currently incapacitated, and Almond had to revive him.
‘But I’ll draw aggro if I move that way.’
Right now, the oni only targeted Almond. If he moved, they’d turn on Bubblegum and finish him off.
Just then, another teammate stepped up.
"Almond! I’ll hold them off!"
CLANG!
Su-Yeon rushed in and blocked an oni with her shield. The heat on Almond briefly eased.
— Whoa
— She’s solid! Praise Jesus!
— Honestly, better than Bubblegum
Almond took advantage of the opening and rushed to Bubblegum.
[Revive]
A text popped up, and a progress bar filled as he reached out to Bubblegum. Moments later, Bubblegum stirred awake.
"Wood block! I’ll hit the wood block now!"
Using the Wooden Fish, Bubblegum could generate a barrier to block those coins. He sprang up and quickly grabbed his Wooden Fish.
"Don’t say it. Just hit it."
— LOL
— HAHAHA
— Almond is about to snap
— Choking hazard imminent
Determined to get the rhythm right this time, Bubblegum even began chanting actual sutras.
"Ma~ ha~ banya~"
Of course, it wasn’t that easy.
"Ba~ ram-il?"
— Ughhh hit it right pls!!
— Bruh
— Completely useless...
— Oh no...
TANG... TAK...
Bubblegum was off-beat. Meanwhile, the oni were in perfect sync on their own spiritual turntables.
"Whole neighborhood hills under control! Goblin gang! Straight-up tyrants!"
"Hell yeah!"
CRASH! BAM!
Their club smashes, gongs, and jingles harmonized into one flawless beat.
Tink!?
"H-Holy crap... this is way too hard."
And yet another Wooden Fish beat fell off. To be fair, this wasn’t entirely Bubblegum’s fault. The oni’s noise was designed specifically to prevent rhythm input.
"This isn’t working!"
Bubblegum chucked the Wooden Fish away and grabbed his wizard staff.
"I’m just gonna stab them with this!"
"Don’t talk! Just stab them!"
Whoosh!
Bubblegum thrust his staff at the oni.
"Aw yeah~!"
Swish!
The oni swiftly grabbed the staff and flung Bubblegum back with a judo-like throw.
BAM!
"Ugh!"
"Smash him!"
Bubblegum’s ill-fated attempt had turned him into a makeshift drum in a samulnori performance. Countless clubs rose into the air.
"Whoa?!"
He was doomed. If all those clubs landed, he’d die instantly. His bones would shatter to their deadly rhythm.
Bubblegum quickly rolled out of the way to dodge the barrage.
"Drop the shhhheeeet!"
One oni, seemingly waiting in the back, swung a massive gong.
KWAAAANG!
Bubblegum braced himself, thinking he’d faint again, but surprisingly took no damage.
"S-Su-Yeon!"
Su-Yeon had blocked the blow with her shield.
"Dodge it, mister! You’re our only hope!"
KRANG! KRANG!
The gong slammed repeatedly into Su-Yeon’s shield.
"Huff!"
She couldn’t hold out much longer. The oni’s chanting grew more intense, and the attacks also grew stronger.
"Kidnap them! Rob the market! Swing the club! Make that money!"
"Make that money!"
Their attacks sped up.
KRANG! KRANG!
Even Su-Yeon’s shield began to falter.
"Ugh!"
THUD!
A club landed squarely on her back. The team of exorcists was starting to collapse.
‘What can I even do?’
Almond, unsure of what else to try, slashed at the oni with his sword despite knowing it wouldn’t work.
Whoosh!
Sure enough, the blade passed through the air harmlessly.
[Your spiritual power is too low to wield this weapon.]
His spiritual energy was still too low to use the weapon properly. Besides, shaman weapons weren’t very effective against yokai.
"I think I’m missing something. Let me reread the item descriptions."
Almond figured he had skipped over something again, which happened often. He began reviewing the weapon’s details again.
‘Huh? There’s nothing.’
He didn’t find anything particularly helpful.
"What!?"
THUMP!
A club struck Bubblegum and sent him flying toward Almond.
"!?"
Almond had been too busy reading to react in time. Bubblegum flew over and nearly crashed into him.
‘Barely dodged that.’
Bubblegum really was dangerous in his own way. Almond silently repeated that thought to himself as he went back to reading.
"Help me!"
Bubblegum wasn’t about to just pass by. Desperate to grab anything, he latched onto Almond’s collar.
"!?"
"?"
They both realized something was wrong, but it was too late. Bubblegum was too slow to react, and Almond couldn’t do anything while being grabbed.
"Ahh!"
Suddenly, the world flipped upside down. Almond took his worst fall since the game’s start.
— LMAO full-on troll
— They’re all gonna die LOL
— Wrecked
— Chaos king
— Peak comedy GOAT
"Ugh!"
CRASH! BANG!
The two tumbled together in a heap. In the process, Almond’s pouch spilled with bells and talismans scattering everywhere.
Jingle! Jingle!
The bells echoed louder than expected.
"My club is sick! I rob peasants and—wait, huh?!"
An oni’s rhythm faltered at the sound of the bell.
‘Huh?’
Almond didn’t miss this strange reaction. He quickly reached out and grabbed the bell.
Jingle!
"What—th-that thing?! It's cursed!?"
Again, the oni’s rhythm fell apart.
— Ohhhh
— Wait what
— Bar break from a bell lol
— ??? You broke the vibe. You're liable
A shaman’s bell rang louder in the ears of evil spirits. Its sound overpowered even the noisy samulnori chaos and disrupted their rhythm entirely.
Jingle!
‘This is it!’
Almond realized the strategy. He had to disrupt their rhythm with off-beat bell chimes.
Jingle!
He couldn’t just ring it randomly.
"Let’s reset! Okay oni! Drop that sheeeet!"
The oni quickly reestablished the rhythm and resumed their rap.
Boom-tick! Boom-tick!
The rhythm reopened a window of attack. Almond had to strike then.
"Snatch the treasure! It’s fire! This is wha—!"
Jingle! Jingle!
"Wh-What the—!?"
Almond’s eyes widened.
‘It’s about timing.’
He figured it out.
Lifting the bell, he declared, "Strategy? I’m Almondoyle."
— LMAO
— Bubblegum trolled their way to a win
— No way he figured this out LOL
— Is this even real?
— RNG turned in his favor lol
"Watch this."
Almond couldn’t just ring it aimlessly. He had to clash against their punchlines to break their rhythm.
"Cane strikes forty-seven times on gra—"
Jingle! Jingle!
"Grandma lost her mind?!"
Their rhythm cracked, and the lyrics became even more absurd than before. Naturally, the oni slowed down. Even their coins stopped flying.
— It actually works lol
— Strategy? Almondoyle! X3
— Granny lost her mind, lmaoo
— Legendary
— If he keeps using his brain, we’ll never hear the end of it
— Almondoyle era begins now
Jingle!
Almond kept ringing the bell slightly off-beat to the oni’s rhythm. The oni gradually slowed down even more. Then, an opening appeared.
Bubblegum’s eyes gleamed. He had been waiting for this moment.
"Now’s my chance!"
SWOOOSH!
He fiercely swung his staff, wiping out three to four oni in a single hit. One after another, he swept through the rest of them. They were utterly weak against Buddhist weapons.
BOOM!
Finally, they defeated the last oni.
"YEEAAAAHHHHHHH!" Bubblegum screamed as if he had just won a championship.
It felt that good.
— OHHHH
— Finally!
— Clean sweep
— Bubblegum wins!
— Let’s goooo
Bababam!
Donations flooded into his stream.
[GumFanatic has donated 100,000 won!]
[The only man who can beat Almond in this game: Bubblegum.]
[OrangeKing has donated 100,000 won!]
[And there he is—Bubblegum takes gold at the world championship of trolls!]
— LOLOL
— AHAHAHA
— Lucky Gum
— "World class troll league"
— Best among trolls
— Top-tier noob slayer
— This... this is real
— Wait, was that the real OrangeKing?
Meanwhile, Assistant Manager Kim stared at the screen in despair and thought to himself, ‘Stupid RNG game!’