Season 4: Chapter 167. Team Rocket (1)
“Huff... haah...! Don’t start without me! I want to see the trial too!”
Donuts and the other Union members ran full speed toward Ah-Sung, shouting as they went.
— HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
— This is comedy gold lol
— They’re actually sprinting LMAO
— Pure chaos, I love it
Normally, mentioning the viewer count was social suicide for a streamer. However, veterans sometimes flipped that rule on its head.
Donuts, Horn Ramen, and MiddleAgedDetective were all seasoned enough to know that submission could be survival in a hopeless situation. If one couldn’t win the system, they bowed to it.
“To receive the Lord’s grace... We’re coming, my lord!” Horn Ramen raised both arms dramatically, running right behind Donuts.
The closer they got to Ah-Sung, the slower their viewer drop became until it finally stopped altogether.
— Wait, it actually worked?!
— This too... must be the Lord’s grace...
— That’s wisdom born of age
— Horn Ramen: master of damage control.gif
— LMFAO these guys are pros
Satisfied, the Union members charged through Ah-Sung’s gates. Inside, signs directed them all the way to the courtroom.
“Wow... this place really is like a corporation.”
“They don’t call it Ah-Sung for nothing.”
A knight stepped forward to guide them.
“Residents attending the trial, this way please.”
“You... you do this the whole stream?” Donuts gawked.
Even for roleplay, who would stream just as a greeter?
“It is the Guardian’s will.”
“...”
— LMAOOO
— Dude is too deep in the lore
— At this point it’s actually good content
— K-Method Acting
— King Sang-Hyeon
“R-Right... understood.” Donuts didn’t realize that this “player” wasn’t even human.
Thanks to Bubblegum’s influence, several NPCs had begun assisting the Knights, calling Almond their Guardian.
Finally, the Union members reached the courtroom.
“This must be it.”
Creak.
The moment they opened the door, the entire group froze in place.
“Green Tea?”
Green Tea was already standing at the witness stand, and not for the defense. He was the prosecution’s witness, summoned by Maid Black Tea.
“Witness Green Tea, you personally observed the traitorous actions of Zelo. Is that correct?”
“That’s correct.”
Doom!
The bard’s drum boomed like a thunderclap. The Union members' hearts thudded in time with it.
“Wh-What the hell is that bastard doing?”
“Is this for real?”
“That snake!”
“He sold out the country for a woman?!”
Fury erupted from the Union members in the stands. Donuts felt too stunned to even speak as his mind replayed the past.
‘Then, back then...’
Memories flashed by. At every moment, Green Tea had acted as their scout and provided them with information. During the Battle of ForeverAlone, he’d reported that the Knights’ camp was dark and empty.
“Hey, Green Tea. You sure about that?”
“Of course. All the lights are out. They’ve gone ahead. Same trick they pulled with Black Tea.”
Trusting that, the Union had marched to flank the enemy, only to walk straight into an ambush that wiped them out.
‘Since when?’
Green Tea hadn’t been a traitor from the start. Back when he split from Black Tea, he’d seemed genuine and shocked when she shouted that she never intended to betray them.
‘That was it...’
Donuts realized it now.
“I’m not stupid, okay? I knew they sold their fields and brought the monsters in. So I thought, fine, maybe I’ll be their spy for once. But you guys, none of you even tried to listen.”
Black Tea’s desperate words echoed in Donuts’s mind. Green Tea’s expression back then, why hadn’t he recognized it? It had all begun that day.
“I’m staying with the Knights.”
Black Tea had said the Union trusted her even less than the enemy did, so she chose the Knights. At that moment, Green Tea’s heart probably wavered. The Battle of ForeverAlone happened the very next day.
“If ForeverAlone takes a hit, they’ll show up as saviors. That’s how they’ll spin it.”
That day, Green Tea had led the Union with uncharacteristic precision and coordinated every move to drive them straight into the fire. He and Black Tea had staged a perfect pincer maneuver.
“The Battle of ForeverAlone... so it wasn’t a fluke,” Donuts muttered.
The other Union members gasped.
“Don’t tell me... It started back then?!”
“Holy crap...”
“That scum.”
White Chicken and Pollock, who’d been close with Green Tea, looked ready to explode until they glanced at the lower right corner of their screens.
‘It stopped dropping...’
‘Wait, it’s rising...’
‘We’re trending again.’
Their viewer counts began climbing. Outrageous betrayal or not, everyone wanted to see their reactions.
“Green Tea, you pathetic fool.” White Chicken, suddenly energized, cursed with a grin.
Pollock joined in, dripping with sarcasm. “That guy just sucks at the game.”
“Can’t even time a betrayal right. No game sense.”
“He’s about to become the new clown of the server.”
— HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
— For real tho
— He was in on it with Black Tea all along?!
— Biggest betrayal arc yet
— The Green Clown rises!
The audience was loving it.
Horn Ramen clasped his hands together, bowed slightly, and whispered solemnly, “This too... must be the Lord’s grace.”
— Even betrayal is holy now LOL
— How low can you bow? lol
— BREAKING: Horn Ramen pre-registers as future fool
— The true master of survival
— He’s right though—better fool than corpse
***
While the Union members basked in the Lord’s “grace,” the trial continued.
“Zelo is clearly a national traitor. Without the slightest trace of conscience, he tried to sell all of Cheese Village to Paprika.” Green Tea pressed him relentlessly.
“Do you even have proof, Green Tea?!” Zelo shot back, incredulous.
Solid proof of treason didn’t exist unless Paprika themselves testified.
To everyone’s shock, Green Tea nodded. “I do.”
Rustle.
He held up a stack of screenshots.
“I can’t show any videos here, so I’ll go through these one by one.”
The images had been quickly taken and looked a little blurry, but still clear enough to see what was happening. The first shot showed the Union and Zelo just watching as the Knights fought Paprika.
Radish Servant and Potato Servant, seated as judges, commented with disdain.
“Wow, so you just sat there watching us fight Paprika? Why not cheer for them too?”
“The Union members are supposed to be the main opposition, but all you ever do is complain about taxes.”
The Union members in the jury seats winced.
— HAHAHAHAHA
— He’s not wrong lol
— Potato Servant strikes the truth again
— They really are the opposition party
— Dictatorship arc; the opposition can only sigh
By the way they spoke, the Knights clearly weren’t just the ruling party but the government itself.
“Then, Zelo suddenly blew up on stream. He received a one-million-won donation.”
Slide.
The next image showed Zelo in mid-shock and mid-shout.
“Wow... one million...”
“Lucky guy.”
“Of course, it’s Zelo who gets that kinda dono.”
The crowd murmured.
Almond leaned forward. “Zelo, what was the message on that donation?”
“I...” Zelo hesitated.
The message had read: [Die, Zelo the traitor.].
“I don’t recall.”
“Boooo!”
“You can’t forget something like that!”
“A one-million-won donation isn’t exactly common!” Almond pressed him harder.
“Do you remember yours, my lord?” Zelo took a gamble.
Almond had also received one upon arriving in Cheese Village. Surely he wouldn’t remember either.
“I’ve never received a one-million-won donation.”
“...?”
Almond had forgotten the entire event.
— Bro you did though
— Unbreakable logic: forget everything!
— If you remember nothing, you can’t be wrong!
— Masterclass delusion lmao
Zelo’s attack had failed spectacularly and turned against him instead.
“I do not recall because I’ve never received such grace. A Cheese citizen who so easily forgets a one-million-won blessing, surely that alone warrants judgment.”
“...”
Zelo stood frozen, his mind blank.
— He’s insane
— Just kill me now lmao
— Fast-track execution when
— Almond’s courtroom = gaslight central
Everyone got their first taste of Almond’s lawful nonsense, but the real blow was still to come.
“Witness, continue your evidence.”
“Yes, my lord.”
Slide.
The next photo showed a box placed at the site of Zelo’s death.
“Here. This was left where Zelo died. It’s his belongings.”
Inside the box was a heap of glowing, violet Obsidian.
“At the time, Cheese had no Obsidian whatsoever. Not a single shard, yet his chest was full of it. Zelo, while Paprika was preparing their invasion, where exactly were you?”
Gasps echoed.
“What? You were really selling us out!”
“You gift-wrapped Cheese for Paprika!”
“Or did they pay you in Obsidian, huh?!”
The evidence was airtight.
Zelo stood still. He didn’t flinch, but reached into his inventory and pulled something out.
“Do you know what this is, Your Honor?!”
“What is it?”
“This is the soil given to me by that fraud BigFarm. He told me to farm on it!” He clenched his fist, and the block disintegrated into yellow dust. “This isn’t soil. It’s sand.”
Murmurs rippled through the hall. Many villagers had also been conned by BigFarm.
“They told me to farm on sand! That’s Cheese Village! And still, I tried to live, to keep this damned country alive! I went to Germany to mine! I brought back piles of iron! And when I returned...!”
He glanced sideways. The bard hit the drum awkwardly.
Doom... doom!
“The Knights were handing out free iron armor!”
— LOLOL
— Crying and laughing at once
— German miner arc
— Industrial worker betrayed by the state
— That drum timing tho
“I didn’t betray my country! My country betrayed me!” His final cry echoed out.
The audience stirred. Even a few jurors looked shaken.
Almond remained unmoved. “Even if your country abandoned you, why sell it to Paprika?”
“That...” Zelo bowed his head. “Because I didn’t know.”
“Didn’t know what?”
He raised his head and shouted, “Because I didn’t know Cheese would end up independent!”
— LOLOLOLOL
— The delivery
— I can’t breathe
— That’s so valid tho lol
“The telecoms nuked data fees! Treevy collapsed! How was I supposed to know Cheese would secede!”
— Network apocalypse arc
— Telecomm-penheimer
— Treevy down, Cheese up
The jurors fell silent. As ridiculous as it sounded... he wasn’t wrong.
“Yeah... I didn’t know either.”
“What even is Cheese Village anymore...?”
Their worldview trembled, yet the law remained.
“I will now deliver the verdict.” Almond raised his gavel.
Bang, bang!
“Death.”
Flat. Cold. And final.
— ???
— If you didn’t know, you die!
— Clear-eyed psychopath
— Why death? Because ignorance kills.
— Why are there even other judges? lmao
And so, Zelo’s execution in Ah-Sung began.
Meanwhile, deep below the earth, a small band of stubby-headed figures crept forward in a long-forgotten tunnel.
“This should be the spot.”
“Y-You think it’ll work?”
“Let’s find out.”
“Yeah. Dammit... Team Rocket[1] is nothing without loyalty.”
1. The bad guys who always lose comically in Pokémon, but never give up. ☜