Season 4: Chapter 155. Spoils of War (2)
“Uh... Avenger? What was that again?” PD Jang blinked at Black Pepper’s legendary class change.
He had heard of it before.
“Ah, so that’s...” Park Oh-Hoon flipped through the compendium. “Oh, no...”
“What is it?”
“Th-This was originally designed with Cheese Village in mind...”
“So, it’s a Cheese-only class?”
In hindsight, from the conditions alone, the Paprika invaders couldn’t easily trigger the Avenger class.
“Yeah. It was designed to be a sidekick to the Guardian.”
Silence lingered for a beat.
PD Jang muttered under his breath, “Ah...”
He remembered.
‘Dammit.’
“We’re screwed.”
***
At that same time, in a dim underground cavern beneath Cheese Village, a voice boomed off the walls.
“Crops grown here basically never spoil! It’s incredible!” It was Radish Servant. “It’s a free cold-storage warehouse!”
He was rhapsodizing about the potential of the Fertile Soil infused with the Vermilion Bird’s power. Some would wonder. With the Knights’ wealth, was getting free cold storage really such a big deal?
— Ooh...
— Is that actually good??
— Is cold storage essential?
— Hey, free is free lol
— Before winter, this option is better anyway
Even the viewers were divided. It wasn’t just them.
Potato Servant asked hesitantly, “M-Master Radish Servant... are cold-storage warehouses that expensive? I-I don’t really get what’s so great...”
“Useless wretch! That’s why you’re a commoner!”
“Ah... Sorry!”
Whack!
Radish Servant punted Potato Servant’s rear and let him have it.
— LMAO
— When does Potato Servant get seniority pay...
— Potato Servant is basically nobility now...
— So sad...
By now, Potato Servant deserved some respect. However, Radish Servant got angry for a simple reason.
“Do you even know the price of a cold-storage warehouse?”
“Isn’t it one hundred thousand gold?”
The Knight Order’s total daily revenue sat in the five-million range. With the new Fertile Soil running full tilt, ten million would be easy. One hundred thousand gold sounded well within reach.
“And what’s the price now?”
“Huh?”
“I asked the current price!”
“I-Is... it different now?”
Many overlooked that cold storage had a market price. They were still stuck on the price when it first appeared.
“It’s different, idiot. It’s two million six hundred seventy thousand gold.”
“!”
Cold-storage was a massive refrigerator capable of storing crops, fish, and even meat. Among server-made items, it was practically top-tier in price, and that price had climbed over time.
As more currency flooded the server, the item’s cost tracked inflation and rising demand. The devs wanted the burden of buying it on day one to match the burden on the last day of the server. In practice, like real capital, it was most profitable to buy early.
— Whoa
— Why is it that expensive??
— So it’s basically unaffordable now?
— So that’s why Donuts bought one by group purchase, damn
— Wow lol
— Is this a Gangnam apartment?
Donuts had grasped this first and purchased cold-storage early through the Nonghyup Union. The wealth gap continued to widen ever since. The more he earned, the pricier cold-storage became because more money in Cheese meant higher prices overall.
The Order’s own rising revenue exacerbated the surge, but the price of cold-storage had shot into the stratosphere.
“The devs tuned the price to reflect how a market of millions, even billions, would work, albeit scaled down for a small village.”
Cheese Village had a limited population, so demand spikes had ceilings. Still, the pricing model asked: What if this were the real world?
“U-Understood.” Potato Servant reeled at the explanation. “T-Then this alone covers nearly half our total daily revenue!”
He finally grasped the Vermilion Bird soil’s value. Even without cold storage, crops grown with it could be preserved indefinitely thanks to Resilient Vitality.
“It’s a shame the Vermilion Bird soil dropped so sparsely...” Potato Servant, who didn’t see the point until now, sounded regretful.
They had far less Vermilion Bird soil than the other kinds. Almond had fired the Vermilion Bird arrow only at the very end, but Radish Servant didn’t seem bothered.
“If we just keep stacking crops grown here...”
“!”
Crops from this field wouldn’t spoil. They would simply accumulate.
“We might be setting up for one massive payday.”
They could pay back the Nonghyup Union in kind, exactly like what the Union once did to them.
“Oh.” Almond gave a final nod. “Perfect. Just as planned.”
“?”
“...?”
— LOOOOOOL
— Kill-steal in voice form
— Classic marksman: only speaks to take the last hit
— Was he even here before this line??
— Silent during the strategy talk, then ‘just as planned’ lol
— What plan, sir?
***
“H-How did we only realize this now? Huh? Donuts, answer me, you punk!” Horn Ramen grabbed Donuts by the collar and shook him.
“Hurgh... urk...” Donuts dangled limply.
The Order had risked paying all the taxes themselves to crush the invaders. How could the Union beat that?
MiddleAgedDetective tried to pull Horn Ramen away. “Enough, Horn. The Order basically pulled off an Admiral Yi Sun-Shin today. What can Donuts even do?”
“If there’s no way, we make one!” Horn Ramen kept shaking Donuts like a thug, ranting all the while.
Maybe it worked.
“W-Wait... Gasp... Hold on!” Donuts raised a hand, trying to speak.
“See? Squeeze hard enough and ideas come out.” Horn Ramen dusted his hands smugly.
— Bruh lol
— Certified gangster energy
— #1 streamer you don’t want to meet IRL, per Forbes
— Horn Ramen’s problem-solving method trademarked
— He just needed air, dude lol
Ironically, what sparked Donuts’s idea wasn’t Horn Ramen’s chokehold. It was the detective’s comment.
“M-Mid-Det. What did you say?”
“Hm? Admiral Yi Sun-Shin...”
“Admiral Yi Sun-Shin...”
Perhaps the greatest general in Joseon history, a hero who repelled invaders despite overwhelming odds. If the Order had just accomplished something of that caliber, then the Nonghyup Union, formerly their rival, would lose its public standing. That’s how it should work.
“But Joseon is the country that, upon his victory, threw him in jail and tortured him.”
Reality didn’t always follow heroics.
— Gasp
— Whoa...
— Damn...
— Joseon, you son of a... lol
— Classic Ivy League move
“What, what? You’re saying you want to be the bad guys for real now?” MiddleAgedDetective stared at Donuts in disbelief.
This was heading straight for disaster, but Horn Ramen egged him on. “Bad guy, good guy, whatever! Just do it! If we wanna survive, we’ve gotta! So, what’s the plan? How do we throw Yi Sun-Shin in jail?”
— LMAO
— The phrasing, omg
— You bastards, leave Admiral Yi alone!!
“They’re all busy celebrating and dividing the spoils. Meanwhile, we...”
Clack.
Donuts pointed toward the plaza. “We hit first with a media attack.”
“A media attack? How?”
However, a media war only worked when the playing field was at least level. With their level differences, even propaganda could only go so far. Still, Donuts clung to it as their last hope.
“Somehow! As hard as we can! Twist it, distort it, do something! You figure it out!”
— HAHAHAHA
— “Twist it as much as you can” lmao
— The Farmer’s Daily final stand...
— Just do something, please!
***
And so, the Nonghyup Union marched en masse toward the plaza for their last desperate act.
“What do we even write?”
“Make the headline bigger! Bigger!”
Bang! Bang...!
Hammers rang throughout the night. They expanded The Farmer’s Daily’s bulletin board and covered it with an enormous new banner. While some worked, the higher-ups argued over the article’s content. After a long, agonizing debate, they settled on a headline.
[The Knight Order Failed, but the Nonghyup Union Rushed In to Quell the Flames of Invasion]
They couldn’t deny that Paprika had been repelled, but they could claim the credit. The story went that the Order had been wiped out first. Then, the Union arrived and turned the tide. When both sides lay in ruins, the Order revived just in time to snatch the obsidian.
“Wow...”
The pieces fit a little too well.
Donuts muttered, half in awe and half in disgust, “This is vile.”
“We’re actual trash.”
— LOL
— At least they know LOL
— Might as well lean into being villains
— They’re doing all this for screen time lol
— If we lose here, the Union gets no airtime anyway...
Even for how much they hated the Order, this went beyond rivalry. It was pure survival. In the world of streaming, irrelevance was death. If they had gracefully accepted defeat, the Union would have faded into irretrievable obscurity.
“Better a villain than invisible.”
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
Bad press still beat no press. For anyone living off an audience, that was gospel.
“Fine. Screw it. We’re doing this to the end!”
“LET’S GOOOOO!”
They roared and hoisted the massive fabric article, racing to mount it on the plaza board before dawn.
“They’re coming!”
“Did you finish the setup?”
“Yes! Look!”
On the colossal bulletin board was a banner big enough to rival a city billboard.
Whoosh.
The cloth unfurled, taut in the cold air, and revealed their article like a Times Square ad.
“Over here! This way!” A sharp voice rang out.
It was Bubblegum. He strode over with a group of townsfolk and pointed furiously.
“These frauds are the fake news outlet!”
— Whoa
— What’s happening??
— ??
— Bubblegum lmao
“Ha! Look who’s talking, you Inflated Times!” Donuts shot back instantly.
Bubblegum didn’t miss a beat. “Step aside, Kiddie Daily!”
— “Kiddie Daily” LMAO
— The name alone killed me LOL
— What a line. Storyteller indeed.
— Give that man a golden mic
— Kiddie... oh my god...
The insult landed hard, but worse was who stood behind Bubblegum. It wasn’t just players, but NPCs.
“Remove this immediately!”
Clack!
The lead NPC barked, “How dare non-storytellers post filth in the town square!?”
Other burly NPCs moved in and seized the banner.
“W-Wait. What, what are you doing?!”
“Hey! Stop!”
The Union panicked as the NPCs began ripping through the cloth.
Rrrrip!
RIIIP!
Donuts froze as a realization dawned on him.
No way...
His gaze shifted to the other board across the plaza.
[The Bubble Daily]
Of course, a storyteller’s true power wasn’t merely swaying people.
[How long will we tolerate the fake news from The Farmer’s Daily?]
It was convincing the NPCs themselves. Bubblegum had already written an article and turned the villagers against them.
— Holy crap lol
— He got there first
— Bubblegum for the win!
— Bubblegum’s super play!
— Let’s gooo
— Hidden Order member reveal?!
— He actually did it!!
“Wahaha! Fake-news scum! Get lost~!” Bubblegum laughed gleefully and plastered a new headline over the shredded remains of the Union’s post.
[The Village Abandoned Them, But They Never Abandoned The Village]
The article celebrated the Order’s victory over Paprika.
— Damn...
— Now that’s storytelling
— Goosebumps
— Bubblegum the Great
— Almond, President of Cheese Village!
Murmurs rippled through the growing crowd. More villagers gathered and read the new headline aloud.
“P-Paprika? Wait, they fought Paprika?”
“No way... and the Knight Order won? Against those odds?”