Season 4: Chapter 147. A Proper Move (3)
Clank. Clank.
The armored Knights filled the chamber, and the meeting began under a heavy atmosphere.
“Th-Then... let’s begin the discussion on how to distribute the food tribute for the invaders...” Camebert, one of the admins, acted as moderator. “All citizens may participate. Even if you’re not seated at the tables, raise your hand and join freely.”
That was what he said, but everyone knew the truth. The only votes that really mattered were those of the Knights and the Union.
Donuts initiated. “I believe those who have more should pay more.”
Several heads nodded.
Radish Servant quickly countered. “We agree. If everyone pays ten percent, those with more wealth will naturally contribute more.”
Potato Servant chimed back, “That’s what percentages mean~”
Their stance was simple: apply a flat ten percent across the board. The wealthy would still pay more in absolute terms.
Donuts shook his head. “All OECD nations apply progressive taxation. The wealthier you are, the greater your capacity to earn extra returns. A flat tax is inappropriate.”
Radish Servant shot back immediately. “Then, by that logic, isn’t a flat tax more fitting if we’re not even at an OECD level?”
— Damn
— LMAO miraculous logic
— He’s not wrong!
“What part of this place looks like an OECD country? We’re lucky to count as a third-world country.”
“Exactly. Do we have cars? Electricity? This is medieval civilization.”
From the side, Horn Ramen cut in, “Come on, why apply real-world standards here?”
“And isn’t OECD the definition of a real-world standard?” Radish Servant didn’t budge an inch.
The debate was unwinnable. The Union knew that.
‘It doesn’t matter. Once we push it to a majority vote, we’ll win for sure.’
The majority weren’t wealthy. After voting, a progressive tax would naturally win. Their goal was to steer the discussion until then.
Donuts leaned on his knowledge. “Rich or poor, everyone needs about a hundred gold to cover food, shelter, and clothing. Now, imagine a wealthy man has a thousand gold coins. Ten percent tax? That strips away the entire wealth of the man beside him! But for the rich...”
Bang.
He slapped the chalkboard where he’d written the numbers.
“Nine hundred gold remain. Nine times the other man’s worth, but the poor man?”
[100 - 10 = 90]
The poor wouldn’t even have enough to survive.
“They starve. The first portion of wealth is survival. The latter portions are luxury. It makes sense to prioritize survival over luxury. Flat tax ignores this.”
The hall murmured in awe.
“Wow...”
“I can’t believe I’m hearing this in Survival Craft.”
“This is Ivy League level...”
Then, jeers followed, aimed at the Knights.
“You rich bastards, pay up!”
“Yeah! You’ll be fine without it!”
— LMAO
— The weight of the crown...
— Hypocrites yelling now lol
— If you don’t like it, go make fertile soil yourself
The outcry grew louder as the Union planted the seeds.
“In the real world, the rich pay fifty percent! Why not here? The rich at fifty, the rest at ten or five!”
“Who told you to be rich then!?”
— Holy shit
— That line hurt lmfao
— Horn Ramen, you bastard!
— Fun fact: in reality, Horn Ramen and Donuts are the richest ones here
— The servants worked their asses off for this...
Radish Servant’s composure wavered. ‘Damn. Did he really just say who told us to be rich...?’
The numbers argument was slipping away.
Radish Servant pressed on. “B-But we create jobs! With ninety gold left, we can generate regular income for the poor, say, fifty gold. Our systems produce wealth...”
“You can still create jobs after paying taxes!” Donuts raised his voice.
“W-Why would we bother?”
“Companies don’t hire out of charity. They hire because it benefits them!”
The debate deepened into a pit.
Donuts finally sighed and raised both hands. “Enough. Let’s just put it to a vote. We’ll be here all day otherwise. The invaders are coming soon.”
The endgame for a majority vote was clear. The Union knew it. The Knights knew it too.
“It’s here at last.” Almond leaned toward his lieutenants.
“Sir, should we?”
“Time to use that?”
“No.” Almond shook his head. “Wait until they’re done. The final word should be ours.”
“Ah. Understood. I’ll try to soak it up then.” Radish Servant nodded solemnly and rose.
— They’re treating this like a teamfight loool
— He said soak it up lol
— Of course, Challenger tactics
Radish Servant addressed the chamber, “Fine. Let’s vote. Donuts, you propose that only those who worked hardest get punished, correct?”
“That’s not what I said...”
Scribble scribble.
Donuts wrote the motion on the board.
[Apply progressive taxation by income for tribute to invaders]
Radish Servant scoffed. “Tribute? Call it what it is, extortion.”
“Why nitpick the wording?”
“Because it’s true. It’s not a gift. It’s theft.”
“Then write ‘extortion’ on yours too.”
“Fine.” Radish Servant nodded.
Donuts grudgingly corrected the wording.
‘Huh?’
‘What’s happening?’
‘No way.’
Not Radish Servant, but Almond stepped up to the board. What he wrote wasn’t just a correction. It was an entirely new motion.
[Fuck the tribute. Just defeat the invaders.]
Bang!
He smacked the board for emphasis.
— YES
— That’s it!
— LMFAO
— He still used the word “tribute” tho LOL
The Union went speechless. In a single stroke, Almond had shattered the entire frame of the debate.
“Why should we pay tribute?”
— Yes!
— That’s it!
— LMAO
— Purge the appeasers!
— For real
It was a simple, undeniable truth. The very argument that needed to be raised from the start.
“Why should Cheese Village become colonized?”
Only Almond, who had devastated Paprika Village in the game’s early days, could say this. He knew the truth: the invaders were not invincible.
“D-Do you really think such idealism works now?”
“How do you plan to beat them?!”
“They’ll cast lava! Lava!!”
The Union erupted, practically acting as Paprika’s representatives. What if they lost? Would Almond take responsibility for a heavier tribute? Their protests flew at him like darts.
“Exactly as you predicted, sir,” Radish Servant whispered.
Almond nodded, then rose.
“Ohhh... he stood up.”
“God... It’s coming. The conclusion...”
Just standing sent a ripple through the hall. It meant the debate was coming to an end.
“Then, let’s do this. We’ll fight them. When the invaders arrive, send them to us. Let them take from the Knights.”
“And if you fail?”
“Then they can take everything we have. The invaders will be satisfied.”
“!?”
“You said we agreed to a tribute, so the responsibility won’t fall on you. It’ll be our independent resistance. You’ll have no blame.”
The Union that shouted fiercely before went silent.
‘What?’
‘They’re willing to go that far?’
‘What the...?’
There was no rebuttal. The Knights would shoulder everything. Refusing now would make the Union appear cowardly.
“If we win, no one pays a single coin in tax.”
Du! Dun!
The Bard slammed the drum at the perfect moment.
— Bard, you legend
— LMAO the theatrics
— A hero’s entrance
— Chills...
— Almond, savior of mankind!
— Knights forever!
— Farmer King! Almon D. Roger!
— Let’s goooo!
Even without the drum, the villagers had already been swayed.
“Isn’t that right?”
“If they can really do that, it benefits us all!”
“Damn Union, all you wanted was to sell us out!”
The debate had ended.
Camebert adjourned the meeting. “Then it’s settled. Everyone accepts the Knights’ proposal?”
***
After the meeting, the Knights gathered at Sweet Radish’s house.
Almond addressed them all, “Tonight, everyone is on overtime. We’re at war.”
In the real world, rookies would’ve fainted from overtime on the very first day.
“This is gonna be awesome.”
“Holy crap... Mom, I’m saving the world!”
“We... do have a plan to beat those bastards, right?”
Instead of fear, their hearts pounded with excitement.
— LMAO they love it
— Of course, more stream time = more clout
— War content? Who’d skip that?
— Huge W
— This is hype
Viewers craved it. A healing game like Cheese Village turning into a full-blown war with invaders? No streamer could resist. Even the production staff felt thrilled.
“Set up cameras from thirty-five to one-eleven. Surround the whole place.”
“Yes, sir!”
“Bombard it with coverage!”
“Got it!”
By evening, cameras blanketed the Radish House. Every eye turned there.
Meanwhile, the Knights strategized.
“I’ve faced them once already,” Almond said.
The recruits gasped.
“What...?”
He had indeed wiped them out once. Since then, the invaders had grown stronger. Especially the lava caster, who posed a threat even to him.
Almond laid out what he knew. “First off, they have no donation buffs.”
“Huh?”
“They can’t receive buff support. Looks like they can’t stream.”
The recruits had never imagined that not streaming could be a disadvantage.
“More than that, our lord didn’t just face them. He wiped them out completely,” Radish Servant added.
Even Maid Black Tea felt stunned. “What do you mean?”
Radish Servant produced the evidence. “Remember this poster? The one with the wanted man they threw everywhere.”
[WANTED]
He held the sheet beside Almond’s massive head. The resemblance was undeniable.
Everyone’s eyes went wide. Almond had already slaughtered them once before.
‘Then... maybe we can actually win?’
‘He wiped them all out once already?’
‘As expected of the lord...’
‘Holy shit, our guild is cracked.’
‘I remember rumors back then about whole groups dying off mysteriously...’
‘So, it was him. Our ace.’
Their trust and loyalty surged.
ForeverAlone’s eyes all but sparkled. “Ah... Lord Almond... you’re so cool...”
— This guy isn’t right in the head
— LMAO snap out of it
— Too many years as a solo loser, now he’s into men??
— Don’t fall for an avatar two-heads-tall LOL
***
Night fell, and the moon rose.
Gulp.
Seven Knights stood at the Radish House. The rest lay in wait across the village.
Step. Step. Step.
A group of hooded figures approached from afar.
‘They’re coming.’
‘The invaders...’
The true invaders had arrived. They walked slowly toward the Radish House.
The one in front said, “We were told to collect food here.”
Radish Servant nodded. “Yes. This tribute, we’ll handle it.”
“Is that so?”
Rustle.
The leader pulled back his hood.
‘Something feels off.’
He wanted to instill fear.
Rumble...!
A blazing orb of magma rose in his palm. “Any tricks, and you all die.”
Radish Servant stepped forward, shaking his head. “No tricks here.”
FWOOOSH!
“It’s a proper trick.”
Flames erupted all around them.
— YESSS
— Domain expansion[1]!
— Radish Servant is a beast!
— Holy shit, so badass
— LOL it begins!
1. Reference to Jujutsu Kaisen. A domain expansion is an ultimate reality-warping technique that gives the user full control over an area. ☜