Chapter 334: Daze
Sylas was in a complete daze.
It was easy to forget the caliber of woman Cassarae was, especially for Sylas. But these
memories made his mouth dry and his body began reacting in ways he had forgotten it could act in.
He had left his teenage angst years far behind and was a grown man. But the emotions were so intense it was like he was put right back in that moment.
His mind shook and seemed to overheat.
He burst out of his state of meditation again, gasping for breath. He breathed in deeply, trying to regain control of himself, but his body wouldn't listen to him.
Looking down, he found something quite unsightly down below. He shook his head and thanked something unknown for the fact he had chilled his cell to such a degree before he entered another state of meditation, or else who knew how hot it would have gotten?
Sylas pressed his palms to his forehead. From the outside looking in, others must have thought that this seclusion was getting to him, but only he knew that he felt like he was losing his mind for an entirely different reason.
Emotions he thought he had forgotten came bubbling back up. Humiliation... trepidation... possessiveness.
It was the last one that really shook him to his very core.
He remembered that day well although he had somehow hypnotized himself into forgetting. She told him that there was a surprise, and knowing Cassarae, he thought that it was some sort of prank. But he didn't expect her to come out of her bedroom wearing that.
He remembered every little detail. The blush that covered her from head to toe, the rare nervous smile on her face, he could even recall exactly how fast her heart was beating at the time. Its movement had been so rapid that he could see it through the slight sheen of sweat on her collarbone. And...
He also remembered his exact thoughts at that moment.
'She's mine.'
An almost violent glint and savage greed flickered in Sylas' eyes. It came with an almost primal desire for conquering, buffeted only by his greed to devour and consume.
It was as though society had dulled his blade and all of a sudden, on that day, it became unprecedentedly sharp. He didn't care about anything other than pressing this beautiful woman beneath him until she couldn't take it anymore.
He remembered being shocked by his own thoughts, so lost in their world, so focused on trying to figure out where the hell they had come from, that he had forgotten entirely about the woman beneath him.
He had flung her onto the bed and pressed her beneath him. He remembered the look in her eye, there was a bit of shock, a bit of fear, and a bit of anticipation and attraction. It was as though she had seen a side of him just now that she hadn't seen before... a side she kind of liked.
But he couldn't feel that way at all.
He could recall how she touched him, how her excitement faded to worry, and then self- blame as though she was the problem. But the entire time, his mind was in a fog he couldn't control.
Just who was that Sylas? Was it really Sylas Brown? Or was it Sylas Grimblade?
Even now, he didn't particularly feel that the emotions were wrong, and maybe that in and of itself was wrong... maybe that was the scariest thing...
He only felt that it was natural, only natural to take her as possession, only natural to lay his mark, only natural to make her his in every bit the same sense he would any other object. No... his mind at least granted her the status of Treasure. But was that any better?
His time in the world, trained by the standards of modern society, told him that it was wrong. But something deep inside of him just didn't care, and that was unusual for him.
He was someone who always followed the rules, always did the right thing even if it wasn't something that he wanted to do. But in this case, he couldn't seem to leap over that hurdle.
Maybe it was because his teenage hormones had been raging too fiercely, but somewhere deep inside, he knew that it was something else.
The rules of society didn't have any obvious, hard line rules about sex. In fact, unless in the case of force or an age gap, there were no rules to speak of at all. If Cassarae consented and he made her his, he had technically done nothing wrong even if it was frowned upon morally...
But he had never been a person that listened to the normal bounds of morality. He couldn't care less...
[Moral Alignment: Lawful Neutral]
[Moral Spin: Chaotic]
Sylas stared into the gaps of light between his fingers, recalling the alignment and spin Legacy had given him. Was this the perfect representation of that? Could Lawful Neutral mean that he was usually ready to follow the law, no matter what it may be... but chaotic referred to how he could easily slip off the rails if it truly suited him best...?
But in that case, why did he care so much this time? If all he cared about was his own bottom line at the end of the day, why had he been so frozen that day?
Sylas' mind was a clouded mess and he could hear the clanging of doors and chains, but it was as though he couldn't hear them at all. Even when his cell door was opened and he was violently pulled to his feet, he still didn't react.
The world was a vacant husk to him as a flickering green flame danced in the depths of his eyes. If one could meet his gaze now, it would have felt almost like they were looking into the sockets of a walking dead skeleton.
That was when it hit him.
It was because he had actually cared then. The answer was so obvious.
His own desires, and what he thought Cassarae's might or might not be had clashed.
And this time, he actually gave a damn what the other party might think.
BOOM!