Chapter 291: The Weight Of Regret (Part 2)
Abby’s death was, without a doubt, tragic. Even Joe, who didn’t know her as well as others, felt the sadness weigh on him. She was a nice girl, and they had talked on several occasions. But it didn’t hit him as hard as Jay’s death did. Maybe it was because he still wasn’t over Jay’s loss, and that made it hard for him to grieve for Abby fully.
More than anything, though, Joe was worried about Max. He couldn’t help but feel for his friend, especially considering how much this was affecting the people still around him. Joe wondered if part of the reason he felt so anxious was because he relied on Max in more ways than one, not just financially, but as a source of guidance. If Max was struggling, then Joe knew that it would affect him, too.
Or maybe... maybe it was just because he felt bad for Max. He could see his friend breaking, and Joe just wanted to do something, anything, to help him feel better.
"Don’t take what Cindy said to heart," Joe said, trying to break the heavy silence. His voice was softer than usual, as if he was searching for something comforting to say. "She’s just upset, and she has every right to be. We all grieve in different ways. I think... I think she just doesn’t know how to deal with it. Heck, I don’t even know how to deal with it either."
Joe glanced down at his hands. His fists, clenched and bruised, were a constant reminder of where he had been putting his grief. The gym had practically become his second home these days, and the state of his knuckles was proof of it.
Max, however, didn’t seem as convinced by Joe’s words. After a long pause, he spoke, his voice quieter but filled with an emotion Joe couldn’t quite place. "I don’t hate her for it. You should know that, Joe. But... she’s right. Sam... maybe he didn’t die directly because of me. That was more of a you problem. But I didn’t do anything to stop it when I could have. I just stood there."
Most people would have said Max was wrong. That he couldn’t possibly blame himself. But Joe knew better now. He knew Max, and he understood why the guilt weighed so heavily on him. It made sense. No wonder Max felt responsible for Sam. It was a truth that hurt, but it was one he couldn’t deny.
"As for the others, though... they did lose their lives because of me," Max continued, his voice trembling. "I found out that Jay’s death, it happened because of a gang called the Chalk Line Boys.
"You know the guy, Dud? The one who beat you to a pulp? Well, he was working for them. He targeted me, and he wanted to get rid of me. But Jay... Jay was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He took the hit instead of me."
The anger inside Joe surged, but it wasn’t aimed at Max. Max wasn’t the one to blame. The way Max explained everything, it didn’t make sense for Joe to hold him responsible. It wasn’t as if Max had been the one behind the wheel, driving the car. Max was just caught in a chain of events beyond his control. But still, Joe could only nod, unable to find the right words to comfort his friend.
Max was still struggling, still bearing the weight of his choices, whether or not they were truly his fault.
"As for Abby, it’s the same thing," Max continued, his voice low and burdened with guilt. "The group I had been working for... It’s another gang related to Dipter."
Joe looked at him, trying to understand, but it was hard. Max seemed to be spiraling into guilt, blaming himself for things he couldn’t control. He could feel the weight of Max’s words pressing down on him.
"I thought I was doing the right thing," Max went on, his words coming faster now, as if trying to make sense of it all. "I wanted to protect the students, keep them out of the mess, so I worked for them on my own. But in the end, working for them... it was what caused them to target Abby. And now she’s gone too."
Max’s shoulders slumped, his face a mask of regret. "Joe... I’m not doing a very good job protecting the people I care about. And you, you’re someone I care about too, which is why I decided to tell you everything. Cindy is right. If you want to live, you should avoid me at all costs."
Joe felt his heart clench at Max’s words. It was like hearing his friend give up on himself. His fist clenched so tightly his knuckles turned white. He had to speak up, had to let Max know what he thought.
"Right now, I really want to slap you!" Joe shouted, his voice shaking with frustration. "Does the fact that I’ve stayed by your side after everything mean nothing to you?"
Max looked up, surprise flashing across his face. But Joe wasn’t done.
"Stop asking me the same question over and over again. I’m the one who chose to stay by your side. And it’s the same with everyone else. Do you think we’re all just going to do whatever you say, like your personal army? Heck, no!"
Joe stepped closer, his voice rising. "Max... I know the truth about you. I know you’re a Stern, and maybe you’re used to people doing everything you say, maybe that’s why you’re in this mess. I don’t understand it all, and I know I’m probably stupid, but at least I get this much."
He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "If I were getting beaten, if I were in trouble, if I were in a jail cell, you’d come to help me, right? And if the same thing happened to you, I’d be there to help you. To me, that’s what friends are. People you can rely on when you need them. I know you’re a good guy, Max. And that’s what matters to me."
Max stood there in stunned silence, his thoughts racing. Somehow, the person he least expected had managed to cheer him up.
’To think I’d need a high schooler to pick me up... A true friend. Did I ever have anyone like that in the White Tiger group? I’m not sure... but with the Bloodline group, it’s different.’
Max took a deep breath, his gaze softening. "Come to the funeral in two days," he said, his voice firm but not harsh. "And also, I need you to get a few others there too."