Soon, the concert was over. The old folks living in the retirement home heartily applauded us, smiling with sincerity or politeness. Even the crankiest of them seemed to be somewhat pleased. Overall, our first gig was a success. While Claire discussed something with the administrator and the guys were busy dismantling the equipment, I told them that I had to do something personal and approached the Protector, sitting down across from her.
The Protector smiled.
’That was quite the performance.’
I didn’t return her smile nor say anything. She sighed.
’I have to say, zero six eleven, you have really managed to surprise me. And here I was growing conceited, thinking that there was nothing shocking in this world anymore. Being that strong, and hiding it for so long... right under my nose. Ah, I’m embarrassed.’
There was no mockery in her tone, no fear, just good-natured humor.
The image of Mickey’s head exploding was still fresh in my mind.
’You didn’t have to kill him.’
These were not the words I was planning to say, but the moment I opened my mouth, it was the only thing that came out.
The Protector raised an eyebrow, amused.
’Do you think I wanted to kill him?’
’Yes.’
She chuckled.
’Am I some kind of a monster in your eyes?’
I looked at her with hatred.
’I know that you didn’t want to shoot Mickey dead in that tower. You wanted to take him in peacefully and alive. But how long would he have survived after that? After you people were done getting the information out of him, what, you were just going to let him go? Maybe you would not have to dirty your hands personally, but he would end up dead nevertheless. So yes, I think you wanted to kill him. And no, I don’t think that you’re a monster.’
My voice trembled with anger.
’You’re much worse.’
The Protector shrugged.
’It’s easy to despise me, but throughout the years, I’ve found out that you genetically altered really love to run your mouths without thinking things through. What would you have done?’
’What?’
I didn’t expect that question. The Protector politely explained.
’Not just with your friend. Imagine that you’re in charge of an incredibly complex system that is human society. There’s an element of this system, the GAs, who are innocent according to every law, but can turn into an uncontrollable weapon of mass destruction at any second. What would you have done to them?’
I opened my mouth and then closed it. Then I clenched my teeth.
’I wouldn’t... wouldn’t...’
She gave me a friendly smile.
’Yes?’
’I wouldn’t treat them like garbage, at least!’
The Protector shook her head in disappointment.
’Was Zero treated like garbage? He was taken in by the Agency and provided with limitless resources for his research. He was even allowed to have wards of his own. Now he’s on the streets killing people like a maniac, using those same wards as suicide bombers. Do you want me to tell you his body count?’
There was a bitter taste in my mouth. I knew that her logic was flawed and distorted, but felt helpless to prove it with words even though she was wrong. Was she wrong?
’Zero is just one wraith. He does not represent all of us! There are countless wraiths who would never... never...’
’Ah. So you do know Zero. Thank you for confirming it, zero six eleven.’
I cursed myself for falling into her trap. The Protector just leaned back, looking calm and comfortable.
’We’ll talk about Zero later. In any case, you are wrong. We, the Protectors, are not monsters or habitual killers. Do you think that they grow us on a psychopath tree? How do you think people even end up as Protectors?’
’I don’t know.’
’Well, it’s pretty simple. I was not much older than your friends over there and busy navigating college. I had good grades and the right aptitude for the Agency, so one of the professors recommended me to a recruiter. Being a Protector is a job, zero six eleven. It’s not glamorous, but someone has to do it. I didn’t join because I enjoyed torturing animals or setting things on fire, but because it was something I could do to make the world a little better, and I was one of the very few people suitable to do it. A lot of horrible shit and years later, and here I am.’
There was a strange expression on my face, so she chuckled.
’What, did you think that I had some sort of a horror origin story? Sorry to disappoint, but I’m just a normal person. All of the Protectors are.’
’Bullshit.’
She sighed.
’What exactly do you mean?’
’You’re not normal. None of you are. A normal person wouldn’t do what you do. Just the tests alone! No one normal would be able to face a potentially hostile wraith, knowing that they can kill you with one movement of their hand!’
I finally smiled, too.
’Come to think of it, I can kill you right now. Only I wouldn’t even need to move a hand. I can kill you with a mere thought.’
The Protector shrugged.
’Sure. But that’s why it is good to be part of a collective, zero six eleven. In the grand scheme of things, my life doesn’t matter. Kill me, and another will take my place.’
I shook my head.
’No, I don’t believe you. You’re lying. Maybe it is true for others, even Mitchel, but not you. I doubt someone like you can be easily replaced, if at all. You are one of the kind. Just like me.’
For the first time since the beginning of our conversation, her smile froze. I leaned forward.
’So if I kill you right now, the Agency will incur a real loss. I bet your death will hurt them really bad.’
The Protector didn’t respond for half a second, and then laughed.
’Gee. Thanks for the compliment.’
She was still pretending to be relaxed.
’You are really calm for someone who is just a thought away from death.’ I opened my eyes wide. ’Maybe... don’t tell me... do you perhaps think that that sniper you have aiming at my head can save your life?’
It was my turn to laugh.
’What? You didn’t think I would notice? I could feel his gaze the moment he took aim, despite all the efforts you Protectors like to pull to avoid our sense. It’s really annoying, actually. Tracing that gaze back to its owner was a piece of cake too.’ I looked in the window, across the park and to one of the tall building a few streets away from the retirement home. ’Maybe the bullet will kill me before I kill you, or maybe not. I’m willing to risk it. Are you?’
The Protector was silent for several seconds, looking at me with a fake smile. Then she finally shook her head.
’You are right. That’s quite a gamble.’
Then she pressed her hand to her ear.
’Did you hear that? All units, new order: whatever happens, do not shoot subject zero six eleven.’
I silently triumphed, but the Protector’s smile only brightened.
’... Shoot the girl in a black t-shirt instead.’
’You bitch!’
I tried to slam my fist on the table, stopping at the last second to not draw attention. Then I glanced at Claire, who was still talking to the administrator, oblivious to everything that was happening at the opposite side of the room.
The Protector grinned, and I felt an animalistic urge to wipe that grin off her face.
’What? Weren’t you willing to risk it?’
I kept silent, seething with helpless rage and hatred. The smile finally slid off of the Protectors face, revealing the deadly cold eyes of a predator.
’This has gone for long enough, zero six eleven. Now listen to me well, because I’m going to predict the future.’
Her gaze pierced me like a sword, making it hard to breathe.
’In a few seconds, I’m going to walk out of that door. And then, exactly five minutes later, you’re going to stand up, say nothing to your friends, and follow me. And they will never see you again.’
The Protector looked at me for the last time, and then, just like she told me, she calmly stood up and walked away. The white door of the dining room quietly closed behind her, leaving me trembling and frozen in place.
I slowly looked at the clock hanging above the door, noting the time. The hand of the clock moved, counting down seconds. Every movement filled me with dread.
Four and a half minutes left.
I looked at my trembling hands, feeling powerless and scared. My mind spun crazily, trying to find a way out. But there were none. I couldn’t win against the Protector. I couldn’t run. I couldn’t put Claire in danger.
My life was coming to end. Not in an unknown moment a few years in the future, not tomorrow, not even in several hours. Now. I only had four minutes left.
I felt cold and hot at the same time. I felt nauseous.
I felt tears coming to my eyes.
Trying to hide my face, I turned a little, looking at Claire over the shoulder. An indescribable pain gripped my heart, tearing it. I shuddered, struggling to inhale. I looked at Nelly, Dylan and Ted, who were still gathering our instruments.
Three minutes.
There had to be a way out. There had to be something I could do.
I looked away, afraid that Claire would notice my distress. Whatever happens, she had to stay safely away from everything. From... me.
Two minutes.
Many things flashed across my eyes, stray memories and fragments of all the things I was going to never see again. It was hard to breathe, like I was drowning. My chest was constricted, causing immense pain.
The clock continued ticking, counting my last seconds away.
Think, goddammit!
But my mind was only filled with suffering and fear.
I closed my eyes.
When the five minutes came to the end, I silently stood up.
And headed to the door.
It took every ounce of willpower I had left not to look back.
Because if I did, I... wouldn’t be able to...
Go.
I pushed the door open, feeling very cold. Defeated.