Chapter 35: Sensate

The next day, I called in sick. The morning was grey and cold, with snow falling down and the angry wind cutting like a knife across the skin. The simple melody of Chilled to the Bone was playing in my mind on the way to the library, and I couldn't help but move my fingers with it. Even the Protectors looked miserable today, patiently following me through the blizzard, ice crystals in their hair.

But not me. I felt electrified. Ready.

Tanya was waiting for me in the same room we were in yesterday. There were three objects on the table in front of her: a photo of Zero, a simple wristwatch and an old ballpoint pen.

'What's this?'

'Good morning to you too, Matt.'

'Oh yeah. Hi.'

She looked down.

'These things will help me find him.'

I sat down, curious.

'Really? Are we going to have a seance?'

She rolled her eyes.

'There's nothing mystical about what I am about to do. It is just the Ability, pure and simple.'

'Explain.'

She sighed.

'I am not as able as you and Mickey are. Like most wraiths, I can't hold more than one Affect in my mind simultaneously. But the ones I can hold are rare.'

'Interesting.'

'It's like... for example, can you feel when someone is watching you?'

I nodded.

'Yes. But only when I concentrate, or when the watcher's attention is really intense.'

'Good. Not everyone does. The Ability has different Aspects, right?'

'Yeah, I know that.'

'All wraiths have access to every Aspect of the Ability in their rudimentary state, with one, sometimes two dominant ones.'

'I know how the Ability works, Tanya.'

'Just let me finish, damn it. I'm guessing that you have more than one dominant Aspect. Right?'

I shifted in my seat, debating whether I should answer or not. In the end, I said:

'Three.'

Tanya shook her head.

'Sure thing, why the hell not. Anyway, the most common dominant Aspect allows wraiths to manipulate temperature. That's why almost every test includes the glass of water. They measure how fast you can raise its temperature, or lower it. But that's just the surface of that Aspect. Because you don't really change temperature. In reality, you change the speed with which the water molecules move. And if you're talented, you can teach yourself to do other things, like affect the force of attraction between those molecules. That's why, in the legends, wraiths can turn people into stone, or make them crumble into dust.'

Right. I knew that each Aspect of the Ability had different layers. Like how I could change the weight of something with my mind, but also spin its orientation with the same type of Affect. But I didn't know that I could turn things into dust. Could I?

'Yeah, I know that too.'

'Okay. So, my dominant Aspect is one of the rarest. Its rudimentary manifestation is that feeling you get when you're being watched. But as a sensate, I can do much more.'

'Like what?'

'Like find a person.'

I froze.

'You can... find a person with the Ability?'

'Sure. Among other things.'

'How?'

She raised her arms.

'It's hard to explain. It's like... isolating an individual instrument in the soaring symphony performed by a grand orchestra. No, not like that. I just can't explain.'

She stood up and paced.

'You can't imagine what it's like, Matt. A sensate lives in a sea of voices, screaming, singing, whispering all at once. The noise is deafening.'

She closed her eyes.

'Enough to drive you insane. That's why you have to learn how to close yourself to it. Shut the door, and throw away the key.'

'How far does it reach?'

She looked at me and smiled.

'So you understand? The stronger you are, the farther your Affect travels. Thankfully, I'm not very strong. So I can't sense a person that's miles away.'

'How are we going to find Zero then? Hope that he's close by?'

'No. My Affect can be thrown like a net, but it also can be used in a more precise way. But to do that, you need to know the person you're looking for. The more you know, the better: do you know how they look? Have you ever touched them? Do you know their name?'

Something moved in my mind.

'Know their name?'

'Yes, of course. The name is the anchor of someone's mind. It's how they are perceived by others, and hence how they perceive themselves. If you know a person's name, you're halfway there to truly know their self. And that gives you power over them.'

'So, wait... are you telling me that you're one of those wraiths that made the Protectors change their names every day?'

She laughed.

'I guess I am, yes.'

'But... but I thought that those wraiths can actually control people by knowing their names.'

She sat down, suddenly very serious.

'Sure. If you're powerful enough, you don't just sense people's minds. You can also affect them. And in theory, someone like me -- but much, much more powerful -- would be able to control them completely.'

I stared.

'That's messed up.'

'Yeah. It is. That's why there are so few of us. People, both humans and wraiths, were always afraid of the sensates. They were slaughtering us long before the Purity.'

I looked at the things she brought. The photo, the wristwatch, the ballpoint pen.

'So, I guess, you know a lot about your father. You know his name, his PA number, what he was like before. And these objects are here to help you focus your Ability.'

Tanya smiled.

'Yeah, exactly. That's his watch, and the pen he used back in the day. I don't need it, per se, but it would be easier to concentrate this way.'

'So how far will it reach?'

She took the photo, a little bit nervous.

'If he's still in the city, I'll find him.'

There was silence between us. I saw dust dancing in the air, a spot of light on the wall where the wristwatch reflected it.

'So what are we waiting for?'

She took a deep breath.

'I guess nothing. Well, here it goes. It will take some time, though, so get comfortable.'

She put the photo back on the table and took the watch and the pen in her hands. Her eyes grew distant, and after a minute, I felt like her mind was elsewhere, wandering the snowy streets of the city in search of the man with blue eyes, Sergei Duncan. Zero. I knew better, but still couldn't shake the feeling that I was watching a witch perform some dark ritual. I shivered and reached into my pocket to get the phone.

'Hey, Mickey.'

'How's it going?'

'Be ready. We might get a location on Zero soon.'

'How soon?'

'Don't know yet. Be ready.'

Minutes passed by. I shifted, moved my shoulders to release tension. Waited. Took the ornithology book from the table, grunted under its weight, put it back. Looked through the pages, admiring hand-painted life-sized portraits of the birds.

Almost an hour later, when I was almost ready to doze off, Tanya suddenly flinched and looked at me, her green eyes wide and present.

'I found him.'