"Ah Qing, quickly help me figure out why this strange old bird keeps following me."
"Throughout the day, it's pecked my left butt cheek about five or six dozen times, nearly making me transition from a girl to a woman."
Miaomiao emerged from the bathroom, her face alert, stepped forward to protect Ah Qing, raised her hand, and identified the grave crimes Peregrine Falcon Cheap has committed today.
Starting from the second period in the morning, the peregrine falcon pried open the classroom door with its beak, making rounds with the air of a disciplinary director overseeing the classroom.
It hopped like a ground chicken, nestled beside Miaomiao's seat, pecked her butt, then, with a proud expression, lifted its head and chirped.
Following that, Miaomiao's rear suffered, sporadically pecked by the peregrine falcon.
The pain wasn't particularly severe, but the sudden blows to her rear often startled Miaomiao.
Due to the peregrine falcon's status as National One's wildlife, college students dared not confront it, and when forestry bureau agents showed up, they admitted they couldn't handle a bird the size of a vulture without tranquilizers.
The forestry agents returned to fetch a tranquilizer gun to deal with it.
Unable to deal with the situation, Miaomiao ran to Ah Qing's dormitory, respectfully inviting the Beast Taming Saintess to subdue the enemy.
"Going back for a tranquilizer gun? The guys from the forestry bureau must've recognized the national emblem on the peregrine falcon's chest..."
Sitting near the washbasin, absent-mindedly swaying her bushy fox tail, Ansheng glanced at Miaomiao and the peregrine falcon standing on the balcony rail.
The peregrine falcon doesn't partner with the Woodcutter, but it belongs to the biological control team with its own identification credentials.
Security Bureau-related matters involve significant national security incidents, responsible for covering things up.
If the forestry bureau guys see Security Bureau field agents patrolling Xinxing Agricultural Science College openly, they'd be shocked not to have some horrifying thoughts.
"So... shall I try asking it for you?"
Ah Qing looked at the peregrine falcon, somewhat nervously agreeing to Miaomiao's request.
Ah Qing had dealt with the peregrine falcon before, but she didn't have a particularly good impression of it.
This annoying bird loves nothing more than kicking other flying birds out of the air or swooping down to grab pigeons' wings, giving them a fast-paced ride during its high-altitude flights.
"So why do you keep following Miaomiao, and constantly peck her butt?"
Ah Qing raised a broom from the balcony, shielding herself from the peregrine falcon, in case it suddenly flew up to crap on her head.
Other birds might not do that, but given the falcon's reputation with Ah Qing, even renting a shared power bank would be challenging...
"Please don't worry, boss lady, the leader is right here watching me..."
With a cheeky face, Peregrine Falcon Cheap rubbed its wings together, addressing Ah Qing with chirpy sounds:
"Besides, let's be fair about this! As Peregrine Falcon Cheap, a peregrine falcon, I closely protect Miaomiao, driving away those underwear thieves."
"I'm not even asking for much, just to let her warm a bowl of wine, and for Cheap to be served a dish of aniseed-spiced turtle doves. Throw in two pounds of five-spice rabbit meat, plus a jug of Changbai Mountain spring water, doesn't that seem reasonable no matter how you look at it?"
Peregrine Falcon Cheap, looking fully justified, complained to Ah Qing about Miaomiao's mistreatment, not providing it with food.
During its field assignment, it ate golden eagles, owls, leopard cats, and hawks, and drank the forestry bureau's reserve "local brew."
But when it came to Miaomiao, a handful of rice was all it got.
This partner is stingy beyond belief.
"Coo! Coo! Coo—"
The peregrine falcon passionately made a big fuss about its partner being overly frugal, skimping on food expenses.
"Uh... considering this, Miaomiao does seem a bit excessive in handling things."
After hearing its statements, Ah Qing showed a look of enlightenment and turned to Miaomiao, "I've heard its side, and I must thoroughly criticize you on behalf of the peregrine falcon."
"Me? I was almost pecked into a woman, how am I the one getting criticized?" Miaomiao protested indignantly.
"The bird bro said it saw cats sneaking around stealing your clothes earlier last night but saw you gritting your teeth in the dorm. The bird bro spent the late night guarding the balcony, helping you chase away some raccoons."
"It said it couldn't stand seeing mean animals bully you and wanted to help."
Ah Qing declared assuredly, explaining the peregrine falcon's intentions to Miaomiao: "Bird bro complained, saying after all its hard work helping you, you merely threw a handful of corn at it."
"It's here to help me?"
Miaomiao, shocked, looked at the vicious large bird that had mercilessly pecked her along the way on the balcony rail.
"Yes!"
Ah Qing raised her left hand, and the peregrine falcon flapped its wings, soaring into the air, landing on Ah Qing's arm. Folding its wings, it raised its chest high like a warrior accepting inspection.
"It said it wanted to teach you this....."
Ah Qing lifted her arm, pulled back, and then straightened it forward, launching a punch, allowing the peregrine falcon on her arm to open its wings. It took off into the sky, gliding away from the dorm.
"Miaomiao, quickly extend your arm to catch it." The peregrine falcon returned from flying a circle outside, reached out its talons to land back on Ah Qing's arm. But seeing this, Ah Qing urged Miaomiao forward, saying the peregrine falcon seemed to really like her.
"Me? Me, me, me..."
Miaomiao reacted, subconsciously following Ah Qing's words, extending her arm for the peregrine falcon to land.
However, Miaomiao's physique differs from Ah Qing's. Weighing up to thirteen kilograms, the peregrine falcon landed on Miaomiao's arm, which couldn't bear its weight.
As Miaomiao's arm softened, the unsteady falcon fell to the ground, its rear end stuck up, and its head collided with the thick double-glass sliding door of the balcony.
The air in the balcony suddenly froze, Ah Qing looked at Miaomiao, bewildered.
Miaomiao humorously looked back at Ah Qing.
Peregrine Falcon Cheap, black-faced, climbed up from the balcony floor, regained its stance, vigorously performed consecutive rocket head rams, launching into Miaomiao's abdomen.
"Ah ah ah... not the front, I still plan to get married."
"Whoosh—"
Ah Qing, with a peculiar expression, stepped back to give the duo a fighting space, then turned to the little fox saying: "Xiaolan, look, air double-footed bad kicking."
"The Dou Zong strong are incredibly terrifying...."
"Whimper..." With a full black line on Ansheng's face, shaking her head, she retorted: "In a certain sense, Peregrine Falcon's temper is already very good, not killing Miaomiao over this."
...
Although Peregrine Falcon Cheap liked Miaomiao, clearly Miaomiao hadn't received any training, entirely clueless about the meanings of the falcon's calls.
Ah Qing kept Miaomiao, acting as a translator, helping her comprehend the falcon's noises, and coaching her on some human-bird combination skills based on the falcon's verbal hints.
The peregrine falcon, having not had a morsel of meat all day, joined Master Fuli for a roasted chicken midnight snack.
Overstuffed, it lay on the ground burping, leisurely lifting Miaomiao's arm with its wing, grabbed a wet tissue with its beak, placing it into her hand, then dabbed its mouth with the wet tissue.
"... Such a pleasure-loving peregrine falcon."
Ah Qing and the others, their expressions peculiar, watched the peregrine falcon lying on the ground with crossed legs.
Ah Qing momentarily felt unsure if she was supposed to train the bird for Miaomiao, or if the bird was training Miaomiao into a maid.