Chapter 41 – Male Karen and Two Pets Killed by Florida Man During Pokemon Fight
"Hmm?"
Ouyang Long furrowed his brow. He stared at Wu Buyi, whose body was suspended in the floating bubble barrier in front of the glass windows. He scanned the surroundings, checking if another cultivator was nearby.
It wasn't hard to find Leo in the backyard. The guy was slowly walking toward them.
Ouyang Long clicked his tongue. It seemed that the store owner was there. Getting ready to meet the rumored man, he stopped paying attention to a weak alchemist.
DING
Suddenly, a series of texts appeared in front of Ouyang Long. It showed his age and his remaining lifespan.
.
Name: Ouyang Long
Age: 251
Remaining Lifespan: 1,599 Years, 9 Months, 22 Days, 1 Hour, and 13 Minutes
.
Seeing his lifespan, Ouyang Long was stunned for a moment. Then, he revealed a proud smile. As someone from a rich family, he managed to purchase five elixir pills, which increased his lifespan by 100 years each. He believed that the medicines worked perfectly.
However, Ouyang Long never had someone who could identify one's remaining lifespan. The Florida Man's ability made him envious.
He wanted to learn this technique!
There were many ways to get his hands on this technique – Kill and steal the technique book, force the store owner to reveal the secret, or make him submit and reveal the secret.
'That's it. I'm going to kill you and get that technique! I'll avenge Ting'er and kill that idiot Buyi later. Everything in his store will be mine, and no one can blame me that I kill two alchemists.'
Ouyang Long crossed his arms behind his back and faced the approaching cultivator. A few seconds later, an elderly man with long white hair and a white beard walked out from the shade and showed himself.
'Hmm?'
Strangely, the clothes of the old man were weird. He didn't wear respectable clothes or robes. Instead, he wore an oversized white cotton t-shirt, baggy shorts, and a pair of crocs. Had Ouyang Long never paid attention to the elder's rainbow aura, he would have mistaken him as a weird commoner.
He didn't notice that Leo's body was built like a fitness gym coach. His thick arms, firm chest, muscular calves, and refined thighs were bigger than average cultivators, but they were hidden under the wrinkled skins and baggy clothes.
'No presence of a cultivator. No pressure from an expert. No charisma. No manner. Tsk. Am I looking at a country bumpkin? Rather, he must be a fake cultivator. He must have used many artifacts and tricks when he killed the Hound Squad and Ting'er. That must be it! Since he's an alchemist, he must have used some forbidden medicines on himself that day, and he's powerless right now. Most strength boost pills have a long drawback effect. Since Ting'er just died a few days ago, he should not have recovered his strength yet. Yes, that must be the case!'
After making the conclusion, Ouyang Long sneered. He decided not to show respect to this person to exert dominance. Once he could get Florida Man to submit, he would enslave him and extort for the techniques and wealth later.
Ouyang Long shouted, "Florida Man! How dare you provoke the Ouyang Clan and the Jianghu Alliance?! How dare you kill my son!?"
Florida Man's expression was complicated. He looked at Ouyang Long in disdain, but the corners of his mouth curved up as if he was laughing. He said with a deep voice.
"I don't even know who you are."
.
Leo was confused. He really meant it when he said he didn't know who the guy was.
This guy showed up on a fancy flying ship and attacked one of Leo's employees. Then, he acted like a male Karen.
Leo always hated Karens. When he was still a human, he always wanted to punch every loudmouth Karen regardless of their pronouns and genders. From his point of view, they were the enemies of common sense and a civilized world.
Looking at the Karen Man, Leo gave up talking common sense. He looked at the lifespan status of Ouyang Long to see how many years he could get from this guy.
'Oh! 1,599! This guy is loaded!'
Nothing made Leo happier than seeing a hoodlum with a long life. He rubbed his hands and licked his lips, preparing to order the system to harvest the lifespan.
While Leo was absentminded, Ouyang Long shouted again.
"I said – Who do you think you are?! Kneel and beg for forgiveness at once, and I'll spare your sorry life!"
Hearing the threat, Leo was amused. He brightly grinned and walked closer toward Ouyang Long, wanting to see his angry face up close. He also slightly tilted his head, giving the visitor an obnoxious look.
"… Why should I?"
Seeing Leo's reactions, Ouyang Long was annoyed. His two dao avatars manifested behind him, showing off his abilities and cultivation base. The two spirits transformed into a long fire dragon and a water dragon. Unlike western dragons, they had long body like a snake, but they had short arms. Both dragons floated in the air, mimicking Shenlong from Dragon Ball Series. The two dragons roared and bore fangs.
Ouyang Long looked at his dao avatars and sneered at Leo, "See this? This is what a soul formation cultivator can do. I wonder if a fake like you can do this much."
"… Okay?"
Leo blankly looked at the spirit dragons. He pursed his lips, hiding his astonishment. He had faced countless Godzillas, monsters, and mutants before. However, he had never seen materialized ghosts, especially ghost dragons.
As soon as Leo looked at them, the shop domain system activated and automatically showed their statuses.
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Name: Dao of Water Dragon
Age: 39
Remaining Lifespan: 1,139 Years, 8 Months, 2 Days, 4 Hours, and 1 Minute
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Name: Dao of Fire Dragon
Age: 72I think you should take a look at
Remaining Lifespan: 1,823 Years, 11 Months, 4 Days, 22 Hours, and 40 Minutes
.
"Huh?"
Leo was stunned. He never knew that ghosts had a lifespan. He was pleasantly surprised.
'1,599 + 1,139 + 1,823… How much? Oh, I forgot to include the months. Meh, I'm not Asian. Forget about math. The system will calculate everything for me anyway.'
Although the number looked enticing, Leo had worries – If he recklessly killed Ouyang Long right away, he might not be able to steal these dragons' lifespan as they hadn't attacked the store yet. For the sake of exploiting the system loophole, Leo came up with a plan.
"Ahem. I don't want to be rude, but using Pokemons in combat is animal cruelty, mister. If you're looking for a Pokemon duel, I suggest you look elsewhere. For example, far off the distance is where you should F off and jack off to a Vaporean."
Meanwhile, Wu Buyi listened to their interactions in shock and fear. The latter couldn't stop sweating as he expected a big battle soon.
The alchemist opened his mouth and tried to speak. However, the shop domain system still suspended him in mid-air. It also disabled his ability to speak or move.
Wu Buyi was helpless. He could only watch his idiot friend commit suicide.
'Rest in peace, Ouyang Long. I'll burn gold papers for you.'
.
Ouyang Long didn't know if he should be enraged or amused as Leo's words made no sense to him. However, he figured that Leo looked down on his Dao Avatars, which he had spent years nurturing.
Daos, in cultivation terms, referred to beliefs, goals, and way of life. Every person, even commoners, walked a different path to pursue their Dao.
Meanwhile, a Dao Avatar was the manifestation of a cultivator's Dao Spirit. When a cultivator realized their Dao or was enlightened, their dao would gain sentient and become an independent spirit, which would help their creators in their journey to pursue the daos.
Usually, Dao Avatars manifested when a cultivator reached the nascent soul stage. However, many talented cultivators and monsters could awaken their Dao Avatars early, such as Cat.
Ouyang Long's eyes could see through hidden dao avatars of every cultivator. He didn't see anything in Leo's aura, so he concluded that Leo was a trashy cultivator that couldn't realize his dao. Thus, he had no reason to be civil.
He pointed his hand at Leo's face.
"Go! Pull out his tongue and sever his legs. But don't kill him, though. I want him to be my alchemy slave!"
Wu Buyi wanted to yell and threaten that every alchemist in Jianghu wouldn't forgive him if he touched Leo. However, his voice couldn't come out.
The two giant dragons moved. The red dragon opened their mouths and unleashed a fire breath. The blue one glared at Leo's feet, and turned the ground into ice.
CRACK
The lower half of Leo's body was frozen in ice. The fire beam descended and devoured Leo directly!
Wu Buyi was still in the floating bubble barrier. The fire and the ice attack didn't reach him, but he could feel the extreme temperature. He trembled, getting nervous.
He was not worried about Leo, but he was afraid of Ouyang Long's fate. Thus, Wu Buyi closed his eyes, not wanting to see the result.
Ouyang Long laughed and waited for the attacks to finish. When the two dragons ceased their attacks, he created an ice lance and a flame spear in both hands. Then, he threw them toward Leo.
The lance and the spear entwined in mid-flight. As soon as it hit Leo's stomach, they exploded.
BOOM
Fragments of ice and fireballs scattered everywhere. Several flame balls landed on the rooftop while the ice shards hit the ground and pine trees at a distance, yet none of them hit Ouyang Long and the dragons.
Because of the explosion of fire and ice, it generated a thick fog of vapor. It shrouded Leo's silhouette and the result of the attacks.
Ouyang Long was not in a hurry. He waited for the fog to subside. While he was waiting, he glanced at the store building. Strangely, it did not catch fire after the explosion. The glass windows, the walls, the rooftop, and the doors remained intact.
He turned his attention to the floating bubble in front of the store's glass windows next. The alchemist was still alive, and the barrier was undamaged.
Something was not right about this store.
Not letting his guard down, Ouyang Long swung his hand, generating a strong gale. The wind blew away the fog, revealing the result of the previous attacks.
"W-WHAT?!"
Leo still stood there, blinking and frowning. His t-shirt was burnt to ash, leaving with only his pants and crocs. Moreover, his hair and beard weren't damaged. As for the ice, they were all melted.
DING
<Warning, the store is under attack.>
<You may collect lifespan from the assailant as compensation for the damage.>
Both Leo and Wu Buyi received the same messages. The former grinned while the latter's face lost all color.
"Oh, no," Wu Buyi discovered another scary secret of Leo.
"Oh, yes," Leo was overjoyed. He slow-clapped and congratulated Ouyang Long.
"Congratulations. You played yourself."
"What?"
Ouyang Long didn't understand anything. His attacks were enough to injure any soul transformation as the dragon dao spirits were the strongest among all elemental avatars. However, Leo seemed to be unaffected by the fire and ice power.
*SNAP*
The sound of a finger snap stunned Ouyang Long. He didn't understand why, but everything in the world seemed to grow bigger. Moreover, he could no longer feel his arms, legs, or body.
Ouyang Long didn't realize that his entire body but his eyes instantly turned to ash. The eyes slowly melted and dried a few seconds later. As for the dragons, they dispersed into small gem shards and fell to the ground.