Chapter 260: Crossroads (1)
For a brief moment, a silence so heavy it was almost unbearable descended and began filling the space around the two of us.
“…….”
“…….”
It was so quiet that I could even hear the sound of my own heart beating.
Had the question I asked just now been like recklessly stirring up a quiet beehive?
Even while thinking that, I was certain that the question I had just voiced had to be asked—right now.
Because Lian Gwendil remembered the moment of his death.
‘I….’
The direct cause of my death had been having my neck cut off by the Imperial Knights who finally captured me after a relentless pursuit.
But that wasn’t all.
Memories that had been shackled down began resurfacing one after another.
‘…Right. That wasn’t the reason.’
In my previous life, Berenistella had practically left me unattended.
Still, she had undeniably given me teachings—enough to call herself my Mentor.
Eight Demon Lords.
The teachings of the very Eight Demon Lords who had once shaken this world.
Because of that, through the small amount of guidance she had given me, I had been able to grow at an explosive pace.
Of course, the problem had been that the time I had with her was far too short…
That was why I couldn’t confidently say I would have defeated all the Imperial Knights who were chasing me.
But at the very least—at the very least—I shouldn’t have been captured and executed by them like that.
“…….”
At that moment, I realized that my memories still hadn’t fully returned.
Before that moment, there had definitely been something fatal.
Yet I couldn’t clearly recall what it was.
‘Even after coming this far….’
I nearly let out a hollow laugh.
Was it simply because too many memories had resurfaced all at once?
Or perhaps…
‘No.’
I stopped thinking.
Instead, I quietly placed my hand on the hilt of my sword.
It was the sword she had returned to me—the blade forged personally by Ancient Dragon Airos.
If I dared to guess, perhaps even the body of one of the Eight Demon Lords could be wounded by it.
Yet although my hand rested on the hilt, I did not draw the sword.
This was merely an act to show my resolve.
There were several reasons I didn’t pull the blade.
First of all, I did not believe I could win.
That was something impossible—even with odds of one in ten million.
But the lack of any chance of victory was only a secondary reason.
The greatest reason was that she was my Mentor.
Even at this moment, when I suspected she was deeply connected to my death, that fact did not change.
She had undeniably once saved my life.
“…….”
Berenistella stared silently at me.
She did not chant a spell, nor did she stretch out her hand to form hand seals.
She simply stared blankly.
Her eyes were filled with a complicated mixture of countless emotions, making it impossible to guess what she was thinking.
But it didn’t matter.
At least, the thing I was curious about—the thing I wanted to know—was not the emotion she was feeling right now.
“……What are you talking about?”
Breaking the silence at last, Berenistella spoke.
“Why… why would you say that I would drive you to your death?”
“Then why did you leave me to die that day?”
I asked back.
At my counter-question, Berenistella fell silent again.
“At that time, when my head was cut off, you were nearby, Mentor. You must have known I was being pursued. At the very least, that isn’t something I could have mistaken.”
“…….”
I paused for a moment.
Because speaking those words aloud made the calmness in my chest begin to stir again.
Suppressing the emotions and cries that threatened to burst out, I continued in a calm voice.
“…It may sound strange to say this after bringing it up first, but even if my suspicion is true, I’m not particularly resentful toward you, Mentor.”
“…What?”
“Isn’t that obvious? If you hadn’t taken me in, I would have died long ago.”
I let out a small sigh.
It was to calm the boiling inside my chest.
“Honestly, what I’m saying now is closer to childish whining about why you didn’t save me. Meaningless whining.”
I tightened my grip on the sword.
“…But I refuse to let it happen twice.”
I murmured quietly.
“In my previous life, I accidentally obtained the Brand, and because of that, at some point my entire family had become traitors and Cultists of the Evil God.”
“…….”
“My family didn’t even receive a proper trial before all of them were executed. My mother’s grave was dug up, our mansion was destroyed and replaced with a pond. And I, who survived by chance, had to run away while being branded a traitor and a heretic.”
I muttered.
“Everything was the will of others. According to the intentions of others, because of the plans of others. My life, my existence, everything.”
I let out another sigh.
“…At first, I thought I understood why you accepted me as your Disciple. After all, both in my previous life and in our earlier conversation, it didn’t seem like you were trying to hide it. You knew my bloodline and background… so perhaps you saw me as an experimental subject that was difficult to obtain. Or maybe just a pouch to store the Brand. Then why accept me as a Disciple and take care of me… well, that’s simple. After all, you fatten a pig before slaughtering it.”
As I said that, I tapped my chest lightly.
“I’m not bragging, but compared to back then, I’ve grown quite a bit. I’m carrying quite a number of valuable things inside me. The Brand, of course, the Philosopher’s Stone, fragments of a High-Ranking Spirit… ah, right. I also have Dragon’s Blood.”
But even if I gathered all of these, they still wouldn’t satisfy your eyes, would they?
At my words, Berenistella opened her mouth with difficulty.
“…Stop.”
“After all, you even gathered the Remnants of the Eight Demon Lords. And in my previous life, you had already finished investigating and analyzing me. As for the Brand… you must also know very well how to store it somewhere other than your own body.”
“Stop.”
“That’s why I don’t understand even more. What use am I to you now? What value do I have?”
I slowly loosened the strength in the hand holding the sword.
“…So please tell me, Mentor.”
I looked straight at Berenistella.
“Am I included in your plan? Must I still dance within the palm of your hand? Must I…”
Clenching my teeth, I asked her.
“…Must I die once again?”
And above all—
I finally spat out the question I wanted to ask the most.
“Why… why did you Reversing Time and come back?”
Yes.
That was the greatest question.
Why had she come back through time after giving up so many things?
The sea remains the sea no matter how much water is scooped out.
No matter how much water you remove, it remains vast.
She was like the sea itself.
But if even I could perceive the difference in that changed sea, then just how much had she sacrificed?
She had given up countless things.
She had always possessed overwhelming pride in her power, her existence, and even her name.
So why had someone like her sacrificed so much just to come back through time?
And after enduring such hardship to return, why had she come all the way to meet me?
I couldn’t understand.
The unknown becomes fear.
That was why I was afraid.
“…….”
What exactly had she wanted so badly that she paid such a price?
And whether I was once again merely a piece placed within her plan.
Whether I would once again have to live a life where I simply moved according to someone else’s design, unable to resist.
I was afraid.
“…No.”
Berenistella shook her head.
“It’s not what you think.”
She shook her head again.
“Your death is not part of my plan. At the very least, I would never drive you to your death with my own hands, or through my own schemes.”
Then she spoke as if making a confession.
“…And I know you won’t believe this even if I say it now. Even so, I will say it. I never intended to leave you to die back then either.”
I opened my mouth to respond.
But she spoke first, almost as if vomiting the words out.
“My name.”
She whispered.
“I swear upon my name.”
“…….”
At her oath, I could only remain silent.
I had never imagined she would swear upon her own name.
For someone who knew her well, those words were shocking beyond measure.
“…Unfortunately, I cannot tell you everything about why I returned when you ask.”
Her voice trembled as she continued.
“But the reason I came back through time, came all the way here to meet you, and cared so much about you is…”
Berenistella slowly closed her eyes and shook her head.
“…Yes, I admit it. Back then, I did not value you very much.”
She began to confess the words she had kept buried inside.
Emotions she had never spoken to anyone about began to pour out like a dam that had burst.
“I thought of you as someone whose presence didn’t matter—whether you existed or not. To put it more bluntly… I treated you like a momentary amusement, the way humans keep a dog. I saw your bloodline and background and became curious, and I also thought it would relieve my boredom.”
“…….”
“To me, that was your entire worth. I believed that even if you died, I would forget your name and face within a few days.”
But then—
She stopped speaking for a moment.
“But when I saw your headless… your… abandoned corpse.”
She let out a trembling sigh.
“When I saw your body, dishonored and mutilated by arrows, spears, and countless blades… only then did I realize that I had been wrong.”
Berenistella’s eyes looked hollow.
As she recalled that day, her eyes trembled continuously.
“…Years passed. Decades. Even over a hundred years. Yet instead of fading, your name and face only grew clearer. I mocked Arpentia, but I could understand her feelings completely. Because I too had once researched reviving the dead.”
“…….”
“Lian Gwendil. My Disciple.”
Berenistella spoke.
“You don’t understand why I’m acting like this now. But you… you were the first Disciple I ever accepted in my life. And you will probably remain the only one. I simply… I simply…”
She slowly nodded.
“…I wanted to fulfill the duty of a Mentor that I failed to complete. At the very least, I did not want to repeat the regret of that day. That was all.”