Chapter 346: Ciel Lionheart (5)
No one eavesdropped from outside the door. It might have been a different story for Melkith El-Hayah, the White Tower Master. However, Carmen and Dezra here possessed the basic understanding that one should not pry into another's chamber.
After ensuring no one was outside, Kristina pulled Ciel by the arm. Still dazed and unable to gather her thoughts, Ciel could only allow herself to be led. In mere tens of minutes, she had shed more tears than she had throughout her entire life. Those minutes felt more excruciating and painful than the harsh training she had endured with the Black Lion Knights and Carmen.
She, who had never been slapped in her life, had just received two sharp ones. Those facts alone made Ciel's steps falter. Yet, Kristina did not offer her support. Instead, she shot a fierce glance at Eugene, who had risen to assist Ciel.
"Stay in the room," she ordered.
"But I can't just—" Eugene tried to reason.
"What Ciel needs now is not sympathy but understanding. And I assure you, I'm the one here who understands her best," Kristina said firmly.
Eugene was the reincarnation of Hamel from three hundred years ago. He couldn't avoid his past. Having lived since ancient times, Sienna couldn't fully understand Ciel, who was born and raised in this era. But Kristina was different. Even if Anise's spirit had taken residence in her body, as someone born and raised in recent years, Kristina was a person of this era.
[Kristina, do you intend to reveal my existence to her?] asked Anise.
‘Yes, Sister. Do you see an issue with that?’ Kristina confirmed her intentions.
[Not at all. Hamel has revealed his reincarnation. Why would I hide the fact that I, a spirit, am attached to you?] Anise adjusted her emotions and clicked her tongue. [Ciel is not one to spread rumors, anyway.]
‘I'm sorry,’ Kristina said sincerely.0
[Why apologize all of a sudden?] Anise asked.
‘I acted on my own without consulting you, Sister,’ said Kristina.
[Oh, Kristina, you don't need to apologize for that. In fact, I find your actions admirable and delightful.] Anise spoke with utter sincerity. She had wandered through the Devildom while experiencing various hardships. Throughout her life, there had been countless times of grief and tears, more so than moments of happiness. Despite the tribulations, she had not become numb. The years she spent with her comrades in the Devildom had transformed Anise Slywood from a mere Saint to a human being.
[Kristina, your existence, like mine, originates from the first Holy Emperor. In the end, the Saint was more of a tool prioritized for its value and ability than its personality. Yet, we've transcended that. Just as I was saved, you too were redeemed,] Anise consoled. [Your pity for Ciel isn't something negative. Compassion leads to extending a hand, and salvation is born from that very act.]
‘I'm not sure if I did the right thing,’ Kristina began before pausing hesitantly.
[If you hadn’t used your hand…,] Anise hesitated for a moment, trying to word her thoughts. [Hmm…. If you hadn't slapped Ciel, she might've continued crying, fallen into despair, and given up. But because of your unusual violent act of slapping her and forcing her to her feet, she could shake off those feelings of hopelessness.]
‘I feel as if I stole Sir Eugene’s role,’ Kristina confessed her inner fears.
[Good heavens, Kristina! What are you talking about? If Hamel had slapped Ciel in that situation, everything would've been over. Kristina, you were the only one who could've slapped Ciel then. Sienna, that silly girl, was crying alone, overwhelmed by her irrational guilt, and I... well, ahem.] Anise decided to stop here conveniently.
She, too, had wept quietly. Although she'd downplayed it as irrational guilt on Sienna’s part, she felt the same. Ciel’s emotions, manifesting as tears and sobs, had been profound and immense.
The door had long been shut. Eugene couldn't sit still and paced around the room. Should he have followed her? Shouldn't he have talked more with Ciel? 0
“This is giving me a headache, so sit down and collect yourself,” Sienna sniffled.
Of course, Eugene didn't do as she said. Even if he couldn’t change his course of action, he kept berating himself for being so foolish. No. It had to be done. It was better to act decisively than leave things vague, especially for Ciel's sake.
“I can’t,” he said, shaking his head. He considered chasing after them as he headed toward the door.
“Where are you going?” Sienna exclaimed.
Suddenly, the door vanished due to her magic.
Eugene, reaching for the doorknob, glared at Sienna with furrowed brows. “What are you doing?”
“What are YOU trying to do?” she retorted.
“I'm trying to solve... my problem,” Eugene said haltingly.
“Your problem?” Sienna's eyebrows twitched, and the room's temperature plummeted. The cold was so biting it took one's breath away.
Taken aback, Eugene tilted his head, “Why are you doing this?”
“This isn't just your problem, Eugene Lionheart.” With pride, Sienna placed her hand on her chest, then declared, “It's OUR problem.”
“What are you—” Eugene started to say, only to be interrupted.
“If you hadn't died so stupidly three hundred years ago and somehow survived, none of this would've happened, right?” Sienna asked.
“I... that…,” stuttered Eugene, feeling as if hit in the gut.
“That's why it's our problem. Anise and I couldn't prevent your foolish death. Maybe, just maybe, if you hadn't died, you could've defeated the Demon King of Incarceration and even the Demon King of Destruction. Then there wouldn’t have been any need for this unknown pact with Vermouth, and we could've saved the world perfectly.”
Do you hear yourself?
The words struggled to break from the tip of Eugene’s tongue, but he refrained from letting them out. Thinking logically, even if Hamel hadn't died back then, the battle against the Demon King of Incarceration would likely have ended in defeat. Going into battle with a body barely different from a corpse would have only hindered the group.
However, the apparition of Vermouth had spoken in that dark chamber. If Hamel hadn't died and had ascended to the peak of Babel with all of them, there would've been no need to battle the Demon King.
He didn’t know exactly what, but he knew that Vermouth’s plan had been disrupted due to Hamel’s death — his suicide.
Thus, he kept his lips sealed.
"Had you not died then — well, it sounds overly optimistic, but everything might have turned out okay. You... you and I... uh…."
‘Lady Sienna, muster your courage. After all you've done and said in front of Lady Ancilla, why are you now concerned about keeping up your appearance and feeling embarrassed?’ Mer's intentions resonated with Sienna, but Mer’s words only worked to seal Sienna’s words.
"It... it might have turned out fine!" Sienna stammered weakly.
You and I might've married long ago and lived happily ever after.
Words she couldn't voice scattered in her mind. The freezing temperature that had gripped the room seemed to return to normal.
"And... well, even though you died, if Anise and I…. If Molon were stronger… we might've defeated the Demon King of Incarceration. If we had managed to wrap things up nicely, you might have reincarnated to live without any complications,” said Sienna.
"If everything had ended three hundred years ago, I wouldn't have reincarnated,” Eugene reminded her.
"That's not necessarily true,” retorted Sienna. She pursed her lips and turned her head. "Even if we saved the world, a world without you is unacceptable. That's how I felt. The others probably felt the same. They say every being dies and is reborn in a cycle."
"I wouldn’t have had any memories from my past life,” said Eugene.
"Why do you always have to retort to my words? It's because you're so damn crooked. Anyway, this isn't just your problem. It's a very... a very complex issue intertwined with various causes and effects," she said once again.
Sienna truly believed this.
If Hamel hadn't died, he would've never reincarnated as Eugene. Would Ciel have even fallen for Eugene? Even if he did reincarnate as Eugene, what if all the Demon Kings had been defeated? If Anise had risen to heaven without staying behind and Sienna had died three hundred years ago….
"Ugh…," Sienna whimpered.
It wasn't a pleasant thought, but if that had been the case, perhaps Eugene would have accepted Ciel.
'It's because I'm too perfect,' Sienna thought.
She was so perfect that even after three hundred years, she hadn't died. Even with a gaping hole in her chest, she had survived. Add on her striking looks and impeccable personality; in comparison, any average woman wouldn't even catch Eugene's eye.
Of course, Anise and Kristina were the absolute exceptions….
"I am... well, fine,” said Sienna.
"That’s random. What's fine?" asked Eugene.
"I'm fine with you keeping Ciel around,” said Sienna.
The visage of Ancilla flickered in Eugene’s mind. "Are you out of your wits?" he asked. Though Sienna spoke earnestly, Eugene couldn't take it that way. Accept her by his side? "Ciel isn't some object!" said Eugene, sounding upset.
"That's not what I meant. Just, you don't need to forcefully push her away on my account,” Sienna clarified.
"I'm not pushing her away. To me, she's... um, like... no, she is family,” Eugene explained.
"But your parents aren't the same,” Sienna retorted.
"Do families need to share parents? I've never thought so. What, so should I lie to her?" Eugene asked, sounding angry.
"There’s no need for that. Just don't push her away," said Sienna.
"When did I ever? Just—" Eugene let out a deep sigh and hung his head.
He did care for Ciel. However, it was never a romantic affection. While Ciel might have yearned for such emotions, Eugene couldn't reciprocate. Thus, he had to firmly decline.
"You're overthinking it,” Sienna pouted and hugged her knees. "For the happiness I envisioned, you have to be there. No matter who else is, as long as you, Eugene, are by my side, I'm fine. So, don't stand there, come sit."
Eugene sighed deeply again and returned to the couch. He obeyed her wish and sat down. Sienna looked at Eugene with a broad smile, then said, "Kristina really knows how to slap, doesn't she? Still not quite like Anise's handiwork."
"Why are you talking about how it feels? I'm the one who got slapped," Eugene complained.
"Just between us, isn't Kristina a bit terrifying? Lately, she seems even scarier than Anise. Smiling while stabbing someone in the heart…. Phew, why do I even mention it? She looks at you with those dripping honey eyes, trying to lure you like a fox," Sienna wasn’t polite in her complaints.
"Ahem…." Eugene just cleared his throat, not knowing what to say.
"I wonder what Kristina intends to do with Ciel. Maybe she's making her kneel and beg? Or maybe she's having her lie down and grovel?" Sienna continued her badmouthing.
"Sienna, what do you think of Kristina...?" Eugene finally asked, feeling the need to defend Kristina.
"You don't know because you're naive. Girls like Kristina usually act like ghosts to those younger and weaker than them. And Kristina actually has a ghost attached to her!" Sienna continued, unshaken.
"She acts ghostly to older ones like you, too…," reminded Eugene.
Older? Sienna slapped Eugene's thigh in response to his comment.
He had it coming. Eugene took the hit with humility.
***2
Ciel neither kneeled nor groveled.
Ciel was seated in a room illuminated by a gentle light. She stared blankly, unable to even blink as she looked at Kristina opposite her.
"Saint Rogeri—" Ciel began.
"Sis," Kristina corrected her.
"S-sis... inside Sis…. The Faithful Anise is residing inside Sis?" Ciel confirmed.
"Yes, that's right. I am Anise Slywood."
There was a slight change in demeanor. Anise gave a gentle smile. The pitch of her voice was different, her accent was subtly different, and above all, there was a slight change in the shape of her smile. While the difference wasn't so stark to be immediately distinguishable, knowing the truth and watching closely made it somewhat discernible.
"That's impossible…," Ciel mumbled.
"Two figures from three hundred years ago still live," Anise stated.
The Wise Sienna and the Brave Molon.
"The deceased was reincarnated," Anise said.
The Stupid Hamel.
"Why deny ghosts now? If anything, such beings should be common,” continued Anise.
"But... spirits are like the undead, aren't they? Saint Anise…," said Ciel.0
"Ahaha, I am only saying ghost as a metaphor. Strictly speaking, I didn't become a ghost after death. I became an angel,” said Anise.
"An angel...?" Ciel questioned.
"Yes, thanks to the mercy of the Light." Anise smiled solemnly while drawing the holy symbol. "Ciel Lionheart, please do not misunderstand Kristina's feelings because of my existence."
Ciel was still processing the sudden influx of information.
"The meeting between Kristina and Hamel…. No, between her and Eugene was... destiny, inevitable. The Saint and the Hero had to meet. But at the time, Kristina was unaware of my presence, and Eugene didn't know I was inside her,” explained Anise.
"It's said that the two of you look very similar." Ciel was no longer crying. She stared straight at Anise with reddened eyes. "Even if Saint Rogeris wasn't aware, Eugene would have been, right?" asked Ciel.
"You don't plan to call her Sis, do you?" commented Anise.
Ciel only responded with silence.
"Hmm.... I can't deny what you say. Hamel... ahaha, forgive me. I'm just used to calling him Hamel,” stated Anise.
"Are you showing off in front of me?" questioned Ciel.0
"Oh dear, not at all,” Anise whispered with a faint twinkle in her eyes. "Showing off is an act to fill one's ego. An exaggerated brag to show others. Why would I, who's been around for three hundred years, do such petty things to someone as young as you? What would I do such petty shit?"
"Petty shit...?" Ciel asked with widened eyes.
"Do you think that's not something the Saint should say? But what can you do about the truth? Ciel Lionheart, I have no need to show off to you. After all, I've known Hamel since three hundred years ago. I've been by Hamel's side for three hundred years. I've loved Hamel for three hundred years. I had such a strong attachment that it wouldn't let me find peace even in death." Anise tilted her head with a soft chuckle, "All I know is Hamel."
"Did you bring me here to tell me such things...?" Ciel asked defiantly.
"No, I just wanted to make my stance clear. And to ensure you don't misunderstand. This isn't about Kristina, but me, Anise. All I know is Hamel," said Anise.
Ciel wasn’t sure how to respond to this declaration.
"All I know is Eugene Lionheart." Anise’s demeanor and expression shifted subtly. Anise stepped back, making way for Kristina. "Though it’s undeniable that Sir Eugene is Sir Hamel, Ciel, I, Kristina Rogeris, see only Sir Eugene. My salvation came not from the Hamel of three hundred years ago, but from Eugene we know now."
"Do you think... you're more special than me?" questioned Ciel.
"Don't be so defensive." Kristina shook her head. "As I mentioned earlier, I understand you. Just as you harbor affection for Eugene, so do I."
"So, what do you want? Because we're alike, should we laugh heartily and be close friends?" Ciel asked mockingly.
"Yes." Kristina’s response was swift and direct.
Ciel laughed with a raspy voice. "That's absurd."
"Are you confident?" Kristina asked.
"What... do you mean?" Ciel asked uncertainly.
"Are you confident, Ciel Lionheart? If we don't get along well, do you suggest we fight, clawing and biting at each other, criticizing and pushing one another away? Or will you discreetly approach with a hidden knife, intending to stab me?" Kristina asked.
"Well…," Ciel hesitated.
"Is your pride hurt now, after all this? What were those tears you shed earlier? Did you not cling, crying out why you couldn't be the one?" Kristina pressed.
Ciel bit her lip, unable to find words in response.
Though Kristina spoke such words, could they truly get along? Ciel couldn't imagine such a scenario. From her youth, she remembered scenes of her mother, an outsider at home, constantly challenged by the first wife, Tanis. She remembered the trials her mother faced and how she eventually overcame them, winning over even the family knights to rise as a prominent figure.
Ciel had similar ambitions. Somehow, she'd gain Eugene's attention and love, eventually surpassing the old wizard with purple hair and the sinister Saint with the oversized, fatty chest.
"I like you," Kristina whispered while gently stroking her lips as she took a moment to organize her words to convey her thoughts better. "Lady Sienna and Anise share mutual experiences and emotions. Thankfully, Lady Sienna accepted me, and Lady Anise regards me as a sister. However, my essence is inherently different from theirs. I didn't live three hundred years ago, and I don't know Sir Hamel."
Ciel was at a loss for words.
"But I do know Sir Eugene. Just as you do, Ciel Lionheart. That's why I like you. I understand and empathize with you," Kristina said clearly.
"You treat me like a child," Ciel chuckled bitterly.
"No, I see you as my equal," Kristina corrected.
"Really?" came Ciel’s childish response.
"Why would I lie?" Kristina grinned.
For a moment, gazing at her radiant smile, illuminated by the soft room lights and her shimmering golden hair, her blue eyes twinkling like gems, Ciel truly saw the Saint in Kristina. A tear she had been holding back ran down her cheek. Caught off guard, Ciel quickly wiped it away.
"Do you want comfort?" Kristina asked.
"I don't... need it," Ciel refused immediately.
"Then cry until you feel better. It'll ensure you won't cry tomorrow." Kristina then smirked, "Or maybe not. Crying today doesn't guarantee not crying tomorrow. But at least try not to show your tears to Sir Eugene tomorrow. You know as well as I..."
"That boy has a tender heart despite his brashness and constant swearing…," said Anise.
"Isn't that part of why you love him?" asked Kristina with a smile.
Ciel was quiet, trying to hold in her tears.
"I feel the same. As does Lady Anise, and likely Lady Sienna too," Kristina voiced everyone’s thoughts.
Ciel closed her lips tightly and lowered her head.
"Sleep in my room tonight. Crying alone feels lonely and sad." Saying so, Kristina picked up the holy scripture from the table, no longer looking at Ciel, and opened it on her lap.
Amidst this considerate neglect, Ciel cried softly.