Thump, thump.
The muffled sound of Shin Noya’s frustrated pounding reached us from beyond the barrier. I ignored the old man’s outbursts and focused on Tang Jemoon in front of me.
As I recalled the words I’d just heard, my mind raced.
So, according to Tang Jemoon...
If I remembered right, Shin Noya had said that the young lady of the Moyong family had some sort of romantic connection with the Thunder Sword. But from Tang Jemoon’s reaction, it seemed there was more to the story.
Not that I was particularly curious.
I won’t deny I was a bit intrigued, but seeing Tang Jemoon’s expression, I sensed this wasn’t something I should ask lightly.
Maybe it was because I’d just brought up the Moyong family. Either way, it was probably best to drop the subject and get back on track.
“Senior.”
I called out to Tang Jemoon cautiously, and her light green eyes shifted toward me.
There was still a fierce look in them that made me inwardly tense up, but I had to ask my question.
Calming my nervous gaze, I asked her,
“Why did you send me to that place?”
At my question, Tang Jemoon’s head tilted slightly, her green hair rippling.
I wondered what her answer would be. I waited in silence, watching her serious expression.
“What did you think?”
“Pardon?”
“What did you think of the place I sent you?”
“What do you mean by that…?”
Why was she asking me how it was there?
I looked at her, full of questions, and suddenly, Tang Jemoon lowered herself to the floor and sat down.
“Huh?”
I widened my eyes at the sight. The moment she sat, a table appeared in front of her, just like before.
On the table were two freshly poured cups of tea.
Didn’t she just break everything a moment ago?
I could’ve sworn Tang Jemoon had smashed everything not too long ago, and yet here it all was, newly restored.
What kind of place was this?
Even though questions kept rising in my mind,
“…”
I carefully sat across from Tang Jemoon, sensing that she wanted me to.
Pouring tea with practiced movements, she filled the cups with calm precision. As I watched the tea rising, her voice reached me.
“What did you see there? Or… did you change something?”
Tang Jemoon’s words made me unconsciously furrow my brows.
“…I didn’t do anything. I wasn’t able to accomplish a single thing.”
I hadn’t achieved anything in the place she’d sent me to as a trial. So what exactly was she asking if I’d seen or done?
What did I see…?
All I saw was my own miserable past.
What was I supposed to experience during that trial? I couldn’t understand, no matter how hard I tried.
With those thoughts weighing on me, I looked at Tang Jemoon and asked.
“You called it the Trial of Regret, didn’t you, Senior?”
“Yes.”
“And you said that no matter what I did, nothing would change, right?”
“That’s correct.”
“In the end, I wasn’t able to do anything and was just dragged back here. What exactly was the purpose of that trial?”
Nothing made sense.
What had I done there? What had I gained? What exactly was I supposed to have achieved to be brought back here?
“I did nothing.”
Confronting my past life, one filled with endless regret… Was that the content of the trial?
Or was it supposed to show me that no matter how hard I struggled, nothing would change? Whatever it was,
I couldn’t shake the unsettling memories of what I had seen.
What was this supposed to be?
What was I supposed to feel or realize?
If it was a trial, then surely I should’ve achieved something to be here now.
Yet I did nothing at all. Frustrated, I asked Tang Jemoon,
“…What was I supposed to do?”
“Disciple.”
“Yes?”
“I told you from the start that this trial had neither success nor failure.”
That’s right, she had said that.
Just before the Trial of Regret began, Tang Jemoon had told me:
“The trial you will face has no success or failure. When it ends, whatever thoughts you are left with… it doesn’t matter.”
No success, no failure. Perhaps I’d taken her words too literally.
Still, even if that was the case…
“…I still don’t understand the meaning of this trial.”
I hadn’t expected to end up in this situation.
“What was I supposed to do there…?”
In that place, I’d faced my past self.
I saw the woman who had died for me, the woman who had killed me, and even the woman who was once called a calamity upon the world.
It wasn’t as if I’d come back empty-handed.
Meeting the Blood Demon, I learned there were countless other worlds, as well as the reasons behind their existence.
I restructured my being, letting go of my humanity but gaining power in the process.
Additionally…
The Demon Sword Empress.
No, Namgung Bi-ah had been herself in every world. I spent time experiencing that firsthand.
But still.
So what?
Even after going through all of that, I was still left in the dark.
Why had I been sent to that world, and what was I supposed to see? Surely, it wasn’t to arrive at some abstract realization.
Tang Jemoon took a silent sip of tea.
The gentle movement didn’t even make a sound.
After a quiet moment passed,
Tang Jemoon looked back at me and spoke.
“Disciple.”
“Yes?”
“I don’t know what world you went to or what you saw there.”
“…What?”
Her answer made my eyes twitch slightly.
She knew nothing?
“Then, what was the purpose of this trial?”
Why had I been sent there?
Originally, it was to obtain the Dokcheon Pill, but now all I felt was a vague sense of discomfort.
“…I…”
“This trial is called the Trial of Regret and Attachment.”
“…”
I remembered that name from when Tang Jemoon explained the trial to me.
“And, Disciple, it is a trial meant for you to confront your regrets and attachments.”
“I don’t understand.”
My regrets and attachments…
Was it about my regret and attachment toward the Divine Sword? Or perhaps toward the Demon Sword Empress?
Initially, I thought it might be related to the death of the Demon Sword Empress.
But—
It was none of those things.
I hadn’t even reached the point of confronting her death.
Instead, everything had ended abruptly when Cheonma appeared.
Why had Cheonma shown up there?
I didn’t know.
Was it because the Three Elders had set foot in Sichuan?
Had Cheonma descended because of that?
From Xinjiang to Sichuan?
How she detected it and how she covered that distance didn’t matter.
With Cheonma, I understood that anything was possible.
And indeed, she was such a being.
With her arrival, the trial had forcibly ended.
“I never properly confronted my regrets or attachments.”
I couldn’t make sense of this situation.
“I…”
“No.”
Just as I was about to continue, Tang Jemoon interrupted with a firm voice.
“You have completed the trial.”
“…What do you mean by ‘completed’?”
I felt a heavy, suffocating sensation. As if I were about to burst.
“I truly didn’t do anything…”
“Shouldn’t you just be glad it’s over?”
“…!”
Tang Jemoon’s words left me speechless.
“If you went through nothing, and if the trial ended without incident, shouldn’t that be considered fortunate?”
“Well…”
“Then why, Disciple, do you seem so troubled?”
I clenched my fist.
She was partially right.
True.
…Why?
It was a world unrelated to me.
A world that, for all I knew, may no longer even exist.
If I’d gathered information and left with some benefits, ending the trial shouldn’t have been a bad thing.
Then why…
Why am I so angry?
Was it regret over not exchanging words with the Divine Sword? Or lingering attachment to the Demon Sword Empress?
Or perhaps,
was I chastising myself for being unable to do anything when facing Cheonma?
If not that…
Was it the fact that I couldn’t punch that idiot version of myself?
Had I come face-to-face with my past self and left without beating him senseless?
I didn’t know.
I didn’t know, but I was undeniably angry.
As confusion clouded my mind,
“The regret you faced…”
Tang Jemoon looked at me and spoke.
“It’s about not knowing what you should have known. Or forgetting what you should have remembered.”
“What are you…”
I nearly spat out a harsh retort.
I barely held back, remembering to respect her.
Tang Jemoon seemed to pick up on the tone of my unspoken words.
“I hoped you wouldn’t make the same choice I did.”
“…If you’re going to explain, please… be clear.”
“Disciple, your body has already sensed it. This isn’t anger.”
This wasn’t anger? Then what was it?
“A deeply entrenched sadness can often feel like anger.”
“…Do I look sad to you?”
“If not, then why are you crying?”
“…?”
I frowned at her words.
Crying? I wasn’t crying.
I raised a hand to my cheek, expecting to find no tears. And sure enough, there weren’t any. Why would she think I was crying?
I looked at her with a puzzled expression, but Tang Jemoon ignored me and continued speaking.
“It’s called forgetfulness.”
Forgetfulness.
The word, familiar yet strange, stirred something within my chest.
It felt like it had burrowed deep inside.
“Sometimes, it brings peace, but it always leaves traces for those who remain.”
“Why are you suddenly saying this?”
“No matter how much you think it’s gone, it never completely disappears.”
Why?
I wanted to yell at her.
To demand she explain herself clearly.
“This trial represents your regrets and attachments. But…”
But I couldn’t.
It felt as though someone was covering my mouth, preventing me from speaking.
“…it’s also a record for those who have been forgotten.”
“Those who have been forgotten?”
“Disciple, what have you forgotten? What did you encounter there?”
“…”
I couldn’t answer her question.
It was simple—because I didn’t know what I’d forgotten.
I knew the Divine Sword’s life.
I remembered the death of the Demon Sword Empress.
And I hadn’t forgotten those who died for my sake.
So what exactly had I forgotten?
“It’s alright if you can’t remember. As I said, there’s no success or failure in this trial.”
“…Senior, all of this sounds like wordplay.”
My words were harsh, but Tang Jemoon only gave a slight nod.
I took a sip of tea in frustration.
Just then—
Vroom—
“…!”
A vibration spread through my body as the tea entered my throat.
Surprised, I jumped up from my seat.
“What… What did you just do?”
I looked at Tang Jemoon in a panic, certain she’d done something to me. Was it poison? It didn’t feel like poison, but something was definitely happening.
“I don’t want them to be forgotten.”
She looked up at me with sad eyes.
“Originally, I’d intended this for Shin Cheol, but since it’s you, perhaps it’s for the best.”
“Did you… do something to me?”
“I’m sorry.”
What did she do? I didn’t know.
My insides boiled with frustration, but Tang Jemoon only wore a sad smile.
“She may wish to be forgotten, but that would be too sad, don’t you think?”
“What did you do to me? Why are you people always so intent on tormenting me?”
At this point, I’d nearly abandoned any formality. Given the situation, showing respect was almost impossible.
Why did these damned specters of the past all insist on dragging me into something?
As if my life wasn’t already messed up enough.
“What you consumed was a Fragment of Forgetfulness.”
“…A Fragment of Forgetfulness?”
“Originally, it was meant for Shin Cheol to take. But it seems fate had other plans.”
Tang Jemoon reached out into the air.
Rumble—
The white space around us began to dissolve.
“With you, I believe things will turn out differently.”
At her words, I sensed what was about to happen.
“Leaving again after saying whatever you want…!”
These people always pulled this stunt, infuriating me to no end. I reached out to grab Tang Jemoon with all my frustration—
Snap.
With a flick of her fingers,
“…!”
I found myself transported out of that white space to a different location entirely.
“Damn it…”
Maybe I should be thankful?
I’d been dropped somewhere familiar.
There was no mistaking it.
It was the hollow beneath the lake where I’d first met Tang Jemoon.
The place filled with the Dokcheon Pill and the White Abyss Stone.
******************
"…"
After sending Gu Yangcheon away, Tang Jemoon sat silently, her gaze fixed on the teacup from which he had just drunk. Her eyes, strangely tinged with sadness, lingered there as though reflecting on an inner turmoil.
Without a word, she let herself sink into her thoughts and, as if speaking to someone who could no longer hear her, whispered in her mind:
"Did I really make the right choice?"
These words were meant for someone long gone, someone unrecorded in history, someone whom future generations would fail to remember.
"I'm sorry."
Yet, even as she uttered her apology, she knew well that this person would have respected her choice without question. She was that kind of person.
Knowing this didn’t ease the feeling lodged in her heart. Instead, the weight only grew heavier, deeper.
She closed her eyes for a moment, recalling the iron-blooded woman who had stood alone, defending the Murong family.
As she took a measured breath, a familiar, dearly missed voice echoed in her ears.
“...What’s with this nonsense?”
The gruff voice of the old man brought a faint smile to her lips. So, he hadn’t changed.
“Where’s that young brat?” he asked.
“I sent him ahead,” she replied calmly.
“What?”
Seeing the fierce look on Shin Cheol's face, Tang Jemoon chuckled softly and said, “I had something I wanted to discuss with you alone.”
It was a meeting she had awaited for so long.
Standing before her was the Giant of Mount Hua, a man who had prioritized his ideals of saving the world over her love—a true hero through and through.
Facing him, she smiled.
Shin Cheol, however, looked slightly taken aback by her expression. She looked at him and called his name.
“Shin Cheol.”
“What?”
The old man’s face twisted slightly at hearing his name spoken like that.
Tang Jemoon finally expressed the words she had held in her heart for so long, without a hint of hesitation. She had come to her decision long ago.
“I missed you. So… very much.”
They were words she had longed to say for what felt like an eternity.
“Uh… uh, right…”
Shin Cheol’s previous irritation dissipated, replaced by an awkward look.
The reason was simple.
“What’s with this nonsense?”
To Shin Cheol, Tang Jemoon had always been a man, not a woman.