When the banquet ended, night had fallen deep.
The full moon hung in the sky, and I was leisurely walking along the paths of the Tang Clan.
Wu-hyuk had said the banquet food was delicious and wanted to eat more. Cheol Ji-seon seemed to share the same sentiment, so I left them behind and walked out on my own.
“Hoo…”
Tonight, the night was exceptionally bright.
Lamps placed here and there illuminated the streets, and the full moon shone unusually brightly.
In stark contrast to my mood.
The world still seemed only bright.
I glanced around with darkened eyes and spoke quietly.
"Where is the White Lotus Sword?"
In response to my question, Tang Deok, who had been following me from a distance, raised his head.
She’s drinking. “I figured she would.”
That woman was predictable like that. I chuckled slightly and resumed walking.
"Return to your quarters and wait. I'll take a short walk before heading back."
“…”
At my command, Tang Deok glared at me, but before long, he turned and walked away. Keeping him around for too long would also be a problem.
After confirming that Tang Deok had disappeared, I paused for a moment.
I ran a hand over my body.
And I thought back.
To what the Divine Doctor had said about death.
'Death, huh?'
He had said my vessel had reached its limit.
‘That explains it.’
The headaches and mood swings I had been feeling recently... It seemed it was because of this.
My body’s balance was increasingly off, and the effects were beginning to spread.
The Tua Pacheonmu technique had been forcibly stabilizing my body, artificially pushing it through a process of transformation.
When one undergoes transformation, one's vessel also naturally grows.
But was it possible to keep up with the speed at which it was breaking?
Moreover, the Divine Doctor had said that the more I increase my energy, the quicker the vessel would break. In other words, training itself had become a dangerous act.
Paehjon had said that, at my current pace, I would reach that state within twenty years.
To master such a technique and undergo transformation in just twenty years... It was an astounding speed.
However, didn’t the Divine Doctor say I had only ten years left?
Perhaps I had more time, given I might reach my forties, but still, assuming ten years would be the safest bet.
What were the odds that I could complete my transformation within that time?
And, with the looming chaos of the Blood Calamity, could I really afford to focus on cultivation?
I don’t think so.
‘Ten years…’
I thought coldly, calculating in my mind.
How long until the war? The timeline had accelerated by a few years, so I needed to account for that as well.
Perhaps I could adjust my plans. Was there a way to gather more strength?
I needed to visit the hidden caves and ancient tombs scattered across the land, where treasures like internal cores and magical relics lay.
After amassing enough power, I might have to upend the Martial Alliance as well.
All of this had to be done within five years.
The remaining five would be dedicated to the war.
“Haha.”
I suddenly burst into laughter at the thought.
Plans are always so precise, yet accidents have a way of happening in the most unexpected places.
Nothing ever flows as expected.
My death would be one such example.
“It’s not good.”
Death didn’t frighten me.
I had always thought it could happen someday.
When one keeps altering the predetermined flow of things, it’s inevitable that abnormalities would occur.
I had known this, but now that it was actually approaching, many thoughts crossed my mind.
‘The Divine Doctor said he wouldn’t give me the medicine, didn’t he?’
With the Divine Doctor’s medicine, I’d have ten years. Without it, I might die tomorrow.
Not tomorrow, but within a year. Or even in six months. Maybe just a month.
It wasn’t terrible.
Not that I was welcoming death, but…
‘Meeting the Divine Doctor here.’
That was why it wasn’t so bad.
Even Paejon hadn’t noticed anything wrong with my body.
He was a martial artist, not a physician.
He probably hadn’t known about the issue with my vessel. If he had, he wouldn’t have pushed me so hard in my training…
‘…No, he might have pushed me regardless.’
With his crazy personality, he might have, but I choose to believe otherwise.
This was fate.
Meeting the Divine Doctor here was coincidental, but it was fate that he had identified the problem with my body.
And that he had the knowledge to create a medicine that could prolong my life.
The Divine Doctor had said he wouldn’t give me the medicine.
Judging by his expression, he meant it. He wouldn’t easily change his mind.
But that didn’t matter.
As my mind cooled, so did my perspective.
Despite his sharp tongue and rough demeanor, the Divine Doctor was deeply compassionate.
You could tell by how he acted, even though we hadn’t seen each other for years.
And more than that…
‘You have too many weaknesses, Divine Doctor.’
He had a clear weakness.
Je Gal-hyuk.
From the time I spent with him in the Gu household, I had learned one thing.
The reason he wandered across the Central Plains was because of Je Gal-hyuk.
I didn’t know the exact reason, but I was certain of this.
So, what was his purpose in doing so?
I wasn’t entirely sure, but I had some guesses, and these guesses were likely the Divine Doctor’s weaknesses.
If not, then even further…
Je Gal-hyuk himself was the Divine Doctor’s weakness.
Exploiting that wouldn’t be difficult.
“…”
I was surprised at how calm I felt, even as I came up with ways to use this.
Was it because Je Gal-hyuk would play a major role in the Blood Calamity?
‘No.’
That wasn’t it.
It was because neither the Divine Doctor nor Je Gal-hyuk was particularly important to me.
I could discard them both anytime.
The disgust and weight of such thoughts almost made me gag.
I clenched my teeth, suppressing the self-loathing, and kept moving my legs.
Sshh.
I kept walking.
And I thought.
What, then, is important?
Is my death important? No, not that either.
I didn’t have much attachment to this life.
From the moment I returned, I had felt that way.
A second chance? What was it for?
A chance to atone for the sins I had committed in my past life?
‘Haha…’
It was pointless.
Even if I tried to atone for my actions in this life, could that really be called atonement?
It would merely be a form of self-satisfaction.
A delusion that I had paid for my sins.
Then why, when I held no desire for life, did I still seek to extend it?
I didn’t have to ponder that long.
I already knew the answer.
“Master?”
“…”
Someone spoke in a startled voice as they saw me.
It was Wi Seol-ah.
Why was Wi Seol-ah here? I glanced around and realized I had arrived at her quarters.
If Wi Seol-ah was here…
I turned my head slightly.
Namgung Bi-ah was sitting next to her, watching me. I had forgotten they shared a room.
Namgung Bi-ah stared at me for a while, then suddenly widened her eyes and approached.
Wi Seol-ah followed suit.
“…Master? Is something wrong…?”
The two of them approached, concern written on their faces as they looked at me.
I smiled bitterly.
It seemed I wasn’t very good at hiding my emotions.
I’d been completely exposed.
I wish I hadn’t been.
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“…You’re lying.”
Namgung Bi-ah clearly didn’t believe me.
But there was nothing I could do.
‘Did I walk here without realizing it?’
I had walked and walked, and my body had instinctively come here.
Like a dog returning home. What a ridiculous notion.
Seeing my state, Namgung Bi-ah and Wi Seol-ah seemed to sense that something was off.
Well, considering I had appeared out of nowhere, it was only natural they would react this way.
What should I say?
I thought for a moment.
Nothing came to mind.
So, for now, I decided to speak honestly.
“I just wanted to see you.”
“…!”
“So I came by for a moment.”
That was all I could say at the moment.
As the two widened their eyes in surprise, I stepped closer.
Their frozen expressions were oddly amusing.
I chuckled softly and reached out.
Sssk.
“…!”
“Ack…!”
I embraced them, gently but firmly.
For a brief moment, they resisted, but soon enough, they relaxed and leaned into my arms.
Their hair tickled the tip of my nose. The faint scent of their skin soothed my heavy heart.
Though I had hugged them out of the blue, they didn’t say a word.
Perhaps they were too shocked.
I began to feel apologetic.
At that moment, I felt a gentle hand stroking my back.
They weren’t scolding me but seemed to think this was more important.
I closed my eyes as I felt the comforting touch.
‘They’re small.’
I could feel their thin, delicate bodies in my arms.
Though their energy was immense, they themselves were small and fragile.
Even as I received this undeserved comfort, my mind was still racing.
I thought about why I clung to this dull life.
‘Ah…’
Then I remembered.
The old man, the Clear Sky Sword, once spoke of peace and tranquility.
He had asked where my peace lay.
I recalled his wrinkled eyes as he posed the question.
And the answer I couldn’t give at that time.
‘Perhaps this is my peace.’
May those who died for my sake find peace.
And may the lives of those I hold in my arms now be peaceful from this point forward.
Not only those in my arms, but also those who gave their lives for me.
If my life is dedicated to them, then this life will have been enough.
Ten years, was it?
I would end the Blood Calamity within that time.
Even if I couldn’t, I would make it happen.
I would find a way. I had long abandoned the option of giving up.
For that purpose, I could sacrifice anything.
I could become anything.
Kuuuuk.
I tightened my embrace and buried my face in their shoulders.
And I thought.
‘I can do it.’
I would not crumble.
I repeated this to myself over and over.
******************
The next morning, I met the Poison King as soon as dawn broke.
“I apologize for coming so early, Tang Clan Leader.”
The others were just beginning their morning training.
It was still early, before breakfast had even been served.
The Poison King furrowed his brow as he looked at me, arriving unannounced.
I smiled slightly and spoke.
“The lake I mentioned before. May I see it now?”