What is this hand?
Is this really my father’s hand? If so, why is it on top of my head?
My mind isn’t working right, almost as if it’s broken.
It’s not just the unexpected situation; it’s also that I knew exactly what I did with my hands just now. The more I thought about it, the more my breathing grew irregular, and my head began to feel dizzy.
Just as I began to grasp reality, a cold weight settled in my chest.
Then, an answer came to mind.
My father spoke to me.
"I’ve thought long and hard, but no words feel right."
"What... What is this all of a sudden?"
"You are my son."
My eyes widened at my father’s words.
"You are something to me, but that is the only answer."
You’re telling me now what I am to you?
"Stay still. First, I..."
"I forgive you."
His words made me flinch. Forgive? Forgive what?
"I forgive you for intending to harm your own child with a father’s hand."
...
I bit my lip at his words. When did he figure it out?
When did he start noticing? I couldn't steady my shaking gaze, and he continued speaking.
"I forgive you, but you must not forgive me."
"Now... Is that really something you should say now?"
A rough hand stroked my hair. It was clumsy and awkward, almost enough to make me swat it away.
But strangely, I didn’t.
"Well done. Not bad."
The roughness of his voice rang in my ears.
"The third one."
"...Pardon...?"
"I ask you this. Did the first one leave with a smile?"
...
His question about Unni, Gu Hee-bi, left me speechless.
"I... I don’t... I don’t remember."
I wasn’t avoiding the question; I genuinely didn’t remember. Her last expression—what was Gu Hee-bi’s expression at the end?
"I see."
My father nodded quietly at my response.
"In that case, remember these words."
My father’s red eyes slowly began to darken. His hair, which had been red, wasn’t turning black but rather white.
It was a sign that life was draining away from him. Seeing that, I wanted to do something, but I knew it was too late.
"Live."
...!
His words struck me like a hammer to the chest.
"Father..."
I called out to him desperately, but...
...
He was already gone. He died standing, without bending a knee, just as he had been.
And it was I who fell to my knees before him.
"...Ah..."
Something was wrong. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
I wanted to burst my own heart open and die right there, but I couldn’t.
"Live."
His words had become shackles that bound me.
Why did he say that? Was it to tell me to live and atone? If not... then why else would he have said such a thing?
I curled up, covering my face with both hands. I neither screamed nor cried.
I simply breathed quietly.
How long did I stay like that?
Tap-
I sensed someone approaching from behind.
"...This..."
The person, startled by the scene, spoke up.
It was the Demon Sword Empress. She must have run here, as she approached me, breathing heavily.
"Are... are you okay?"
No, I wasn’t okay. Not at all.
"But why... The Lord told you not to come..."
She was right.
Cheonma had told me not to go to the Gu family. Yet I had come alone.
And now, things had come to this.
Seeing that I didn’t say anything, she looked around and spoke urgently.
"We need... to leave... People will come soon."
She grabbed my shoulder, trying to pull me away. I wanted to stay put, just lie there.
But my qi was completely depleted, and my body, exhausted from battle, wouldn’t obey my will.
"Let go... Just leave me..."
She must have sensed my exhaustion, as she pressed my acupoints, immobilizing me.
...!
"Sorry... but I can’t let this slide."
With my weakened body unable to undo her hold, I had no choice but to let her carry me away from the scene.
Even as we moved quickly, I kept my gaze on my father. Until he faded from sight.
I killed my father. The memory still burned brightly in my mind.
'Damn it.'
This was why I couldn’t easily resent him in this life.
Every time I looked into his eyes, I felt fear and guilt at the same time. How could I ever forget?
The sensation in my hands back then was still vivid.
Maybe it was recalling that memory now, but my breathing became ragged. I tried circulating my qi to calm myself, but it was no use.
My father watched me with a curious expression.
The memories overlapped.
The white hair he had as he aged. And his eyes back then, which had turned black, not red.
"Why are you like this?"
"No... It’s nothing."
Maybe because of the memory that had just surfaced, it was difficult to look him in the eyes. I tried to shake the image from my head.
"I understand what you said, but... I still need to know."
Despite the confusion, his sudden apology and the secrets behind it were unsettling.
But that wasn’t the main issue right now.
"Please... Can’t you just tell me?"
...
My father paused as if contemplating how to respond in this situation.
Then, after a moment, he finally spoke.
"Alright. I will tell you."
...!
A faint smile touched my face.
"But on one condition."
"A condition?"
His words made me pause, but I felt a glimmer of hope. If he was going to tell me, that was enough.
"I’ll do whatever it takes..."
"Fight me and win."
"Excuse me?"
I must have heard wrong.
I scrutinized his face, hoping it was a joke.
But his gaze was as serious as ever.
"You mean... you want me to fight you, the clan leader, and win?"
"Yes."
"Me?"
"Yes."
I asked again, and his expression remained unchanged. I felt a hollow laugh escape me.
"So you just don’t want to tell me, do you?"
"That’s what I said from the start."
...
He had a point.
No, I almost fell for his words.
"But shouldn’t the condition be something feasible? What kind of..."
"Are you admitting defeat already? That’s rather disappointing..."
"You’re saying that knowing I don’t stand a chance, aren’t you? Really low."
...
...
Without realizing it, I spoke to him with the casual tone I’d usually reserve for others.
Damn it.
I had never spoken to him like this before. One of his eyebrows lifted slightly in displeasure.
It was clear he didn’t like it. I feared he’d retract the whole thing right then and there.
"I’m sorry. I didn’t mean..."
"You don’t seem to like it. I’ll adjust the condition a little."
I was about to apologize when, surprisingly, he offered to change the terms.
Why...? I was relieved he wasn’t angry, but still...
"Just one time."
...!
"If you manage to strike me even once, I’ll tell you what you want to know."
"Just one... strike?"
"Yes, a single blow. If you can’t manage even that, I won’t tell you where your mother is, and even if you find out on your own, I’ll do whatever it takes to stop you."
"Not telling me is one thing, but stopping me from finding out myself? Isn’t that going too far?"
I frowned at his response, and he cut me off firmly.
"If you can’t do even this, you’ll die there."
...
"No more compromises. If you don’t want this, go back."
I had no idea what made that place so dangerous that he would try to prevent me from going.
But his words were laced with concern.
Maybe it was because of the previous conversation we’d had, but I felt a strange sense of warmth.
It was almost... sentimental, but not in a way I hated.
I composed myself and asked him.
"So you’re saying... we’ll have a duel here?"
He nodded, and I added, somewhat surprised.
"I just fought the White Sky Sword Lord. I don’t have much strength left."
"I know."
"You know, yet you still want to do this?"
"Do you not want to?"
"Well, of course..."
I was about to say I didn’t, but then I remembered his earlier words.
"No more compromises. If you don’t want this, go back."
So basically, if I didn’t like it, I could just not do it.
Ha.
What a joke.
‘My father... turns out he’s pettier than I thought?’
None of the conditions felt fair.
It was as if he had deliberately set conditions knowing I wouldn’t accept.
And even the conditions were almost impossible to meet.
I had no way of gauging his strength.
The fact that I couldn’t see any openings meant he was incredibly powerful, beyond anything I could sense. Even at my current level, having reached the Hwahyeong state, I couldn’t read his strength.
What level was he on?
"Hit him once? Against someone like him?"
Absurd.
It was an outrageous demand.
As I looked at him with a stunned expression, he spoke to me.
"Won’t you do it? Then go back."
He was even provoking me. I began to think that maybe, just maybe, he wanted this sparring match with me.
Besides...
Knowing I had no chance of winning, even so...
"...No."
If he went this far...
I didn’t want to run away, either.
"I’ll do it. Right here, right now."