It felt as if an unbearable weight was pressing down on my shoulders.
My feet seemed glued to the ground, unable to move.
My entire body felt as if it were bound by something, leaving me stifled and suffocated.
‘Shit.’
A curse slipped out of my mouth.
The first thing I felt was helplessness. The moment something I couldn’t identify held me down, the only thought that filled my head was that I couldn’t escape this suffocating sensation.
I clenched my teeth and tried to move somehow.
Crunch.
I gave it everything I had, but nothing worked.
Despite my efforts, my body didn’t even tremble.
I tried to summon my inner energy.
‘But my qi... isn’t moving.’
It was as if there wasn’t a single trace of qi left in my dantian.
I couldn’t sense even the slightest flow.
It was as if...
as if the world itself was preventing me from saving the woman standing before me.
My gaze wavered.
A radiant light continued to emanate from the trembling Wi Seol-ah.
What is that? Is it a type of qi?
No, it’s different. I could tell just by looking.
The woman I had been talking to just moments ago
was gradually disappearing.
Her body remained, but the presence she held within was fading.
Right before my eyes.
I didn’t know where she was going, or how she was disappearing.
I didn’t know what would happen once she was gone.
But there was one thing I did know.
If I left her like this, I’d never see her again.
I meet her now, only to watch her disappear right away?
And I’m supposed to just sit here and watch Wi Seol-ah vanish?
‘You’re telling me to just watch this happen?’
Clench.
What a ridiculous thought.
I summoned more strength, but my body remained rigid.
The only difference was that the more force I exerted, the more strain my body endured.
Crack—!
My muscles tore and my bones strained.
I felt every bit of the pain coursing through me, but I didn’t care.
‘Shit...’
I kept trying to move, but the shackles were far too tight.
If only I could use my qi.
But neither my qi nor my demonic energy responded.
Please.
‘Move... just move.’
What good is elevating my martial prowess?
If I can’t save even one person I want to save.
As I continued pushing my body to its limits.
“I know I’m not in a position to ask for anything right now...”
Wi Seol-ah began to speak to me.
“But I have two requests.”
At a time like this, what kind of request...?
I wanted to tell her to worry about herself instead.
But damn it, my lips wouldn’t move.
As if not waiting for my response, Wi Seol-ah continued.
“Please take care of this child...”
She wasn’t referring to herself from the past,
but the current Wi Seol-ah, the owner of this body in this life.
Her voice was filled with a pitiful, sorrowful tone. She had already given up on everything.
She had decided not to cling to this world anymore, which was why she spoke in such a resigned manner.
Hearing her words, I wanted to ask:
‘Then what about you?’
If she entrusted herself to me and left,
what would be left for her?
She, who had sacrificed her body and life for others.
She, who had given everything for the world.
What would remain for her after she disappeared like this?
‘I still...’
I still had so many questions.
How did she come to this time?
What happened to her after I died?
Why?
Why did she long for me so much that she followed me here?
I wanted to hear those words directly from her lips.And yet, am I supposed to let her go like this?
I couldn’t.
...I couldn’t let her go.
‘Please, just move.’
I felt my body creaking under the strain.
It was a sign that my physical strength alone had reached its limit.
Was there really no way?
Am I really going to let her disappear like this?
Right in front of me?
Just as the self-loathing climbed from my toes to the back of my throat,
Wi Seol-ah made her second request.
“...Please call her by her name.”
“...!”
Hearing that request, it felt like something heavy dropped in my mind.
I never would have imagined that she’d ask for something like that.
‘Call her by her name...?’
I never called anyone by their name.
If you asked me why, there wasn’t really a clear reason.
Maybe there was in the past, but not now.
If I had to dig for an answer...
maybe it was just fear.
The fear of calling someone by name,
the fear of engraving their name and existence into myself.
The fear that someone I deemed important enough to remember by name would someday look at my failures, my rotting core, and despise me, running away.
That must have terrified me.
As time passed, that fear had become routine.
The mere act of calling someone by name made me feel awkward,
uncomfortable.
It had become ingrained in me.
Not calling someone by name.
Not engraving someone so deeply into myself.
‘...No, that’s not it. It’s just fear.’
I erased the excuses I had been trying to make.
Pretending to be strong, pretending to have overcome it all.
But I knew the truth deep down.
In my previous life, it was because I couldn’t stand myself.
After the war, I didn’t want to be shaken by anyone’s death.
And now, in this era of bloodshed and looming war,
in this world full of mysteries, with nothing solved...
I didn’t want to hold anyone dear in my heart. Even though I fought to protect them,
I was filled with the fear that I wouldn’t be able to.
‘Then.’
Was Wi Seol-ah asking me to make this request because she had seen through my weaknesses?
Was she asking me to change in this life,
since I couldn’t in the last?
Was that why she wanted me to cherish this life’s Wi Seol-ah and call her by her name?
But even then...
‘Why didn’t she ask the same for herself?’
She never asked for it herself, the one standing here now.
It was pitiful and sad.
She had lived her whole life for others.
Even at this moment, she didn’t think to ask for herself.
It was heartbreaking to see her like this.
In the end, she was still the Sword Saint.
Seeing that, I had hoped that she wouldn’t live that kind of life in this life.
I didn’t want her to pick up the sword.
I didn’t want her to learn martial arts.
I wanted her to never lose her smile and live a life full of joy.
I wanted her to live for herself,
to do whatever she wanted.
If possible, I wanted to take her place where the Sword Saint had stood.
I wanted to bear the burdens that should have been hers.
That was my resolve.
‘But.’
What have I accomplished since returning?
Nothing.
I had accomplished nothing.
In the end, Wi Seol-ah still picked up the sword.
She learned martial arts, and in just a few short years, reached the pinnacle, proving her talent from the previous life was no lie.
The child who always smiled was losing her expression more and more.
She had said she picked up the sword to protect me.
In the end, she had taken up the sword for someone else again.
Only this time, that someone was me.
‘You idiot.’
I had sworn to change things, yet the most important thing had remained unchanged.
What kind of life was I living for, then? Rustle...
The energy I had felt from Wi Seol-ah was slowly fading.
I saw her kneel down, closing her eyes.
She was preparing to say goodbye.
‘Wait.’
I wasn’t ready for this.
What do you mean you're ready to go?
Since I returned, my life had become something unimaginable in my past.
I had earned the title of “True Dragon.”
In the past, I had been just the young master of the Gu family.
Now, I carried a name I could barely handle.
This time, I wouldn’t live an embarrassing life.
I would protect the people around me and ensure peace in the future.
I would finally find peace for myself as well.
That’s what I thought.
And though my life now was far different from the past...
‘What does it matter?’
Crack.
The pressure was too much, and the blood vessels in my eyes burst.
‘What can I do?’
Fame and honor.
And peace?
It’s all meaningless.
If I can’t even save the woman standing right in front of me,
what good is any of it?
Crack—!
I summoned more strength, pushing past my limits.
My body was screaming, already past its breaking point, but I ignored it.
If I break, I’ll just fix it.
Right now, I could only see what was in front of me.
I’d worry about the rest later.
‘Please.’
What would I even do if I managed to break free?
What could I do if I reached her? Would anything change if I got to her now, when she was already fading?
‘Please.’
It’s pointless.
Just give up now.
Watch her disappear and grieve.
These thoughts swirled in my mind, but...
A deeper instinct overpowered those rational thoughts.
Even if my life were to end right here, right now,
I couldn’t just let her disappear.
At that moment...
Saaa...
‘...Huh?’
I felt something, as if someone were hugging me from behind.
Warm hands wrapped around my neck for a moment, then gently held my arms.
It was that kind of feeling.
My body was alone, and aside from Wi Seol-ah, there was no one nearby.
It was warm.
So warm that the exhaustion in my body and the storm in my mind seemed to settle, if only for a moment.
And then,
I felt the pressure that had been holding me down disappear.
My hands moved.
My feet lifted from the ground.
I rushed forward and embraced Wi Seol-ah.
“Ah...?”
I ignored the pain coursing through my body as I held her small frame.
“How...?”
Wi Seol-ah gasped in shock as she found herself in my arms.
“How... how can you move...?”
“Wi Seol-ah.”
“...!”
I held her tightly and whispered her name into her ear.
She had been about to say something, but when I called her name,
she fell silent, startled.
“Where do you think you’re going, without hearing me out?”
“Ah...”
“Even if you’re going to leave, you should at least hear what I have to say first.”
Hearing my strained words,
Wi Seol-ah slowly wrapped her arms around my back.
“...I suppose I really am going to die.”
“What?”
“If someone experiences too much happiness, they don’t live long after, right? If that’s not it, then maybe this is all just a dream.”
“...”
I tightened my hold on her.
I could feel the warmth of her body,
and the sound of her heartbeat.
Yet I still couldn’t stop her from fading away.
What should I do now?
What should I...?
[Embrace her.]
A voice whispered in my ear.
It was a familiar voice.
‘This voice...’
Just as I was about to recall who the voice belonged to,
the voice urged me again.
[There’s no time. Hurry...]
There was no hesitation.
I didn’t have the luxury of time to think it over.
Vwoom.
I activated Madocheonheupgong (the Heavenly Demon Energy Absorption Technique). Unlike earlier, when my qi wouldn’t move,
this time, it activated properly.
“Gu Gongja?”
Wi Seol-ah sensed something and called out to me, but...
“...Just stay still.”
“What... are you doing?”
If she knew what I was doing, she’d probably try to stop me.
She’d definitely stop me.
Maybe she’d scold me and tell me not to do it.
The thought made me smirk.
‘Since when have I ever listened to anyone?’
I had no intention of listening now.
“You’ve been selfish enough. Now it’s my turn to do what I want.”
“...No... no, I...”
The energy that had been scattering into the air from Wi Seol-ah began to redirect, flowing toward me.
I could see the energy entering my body, but
I didn’t feel a thing.
Nothing. The energy was entering me, but I couldn’t feel a single sensation.
“I’m not sure if this is right.”
“Gu Gongja...”
“I don’t even know what will happen next. But still.”
I couldn’t see the expression on Wi Seol-ah’s face.
Holding her like this, I couldn’t see her face.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you go like this.”
“...”
Wi Seol-ah didn’t respond to my words.
But I could feel her arms tighten around my back.
That was enough.
A thought suddenly crossed my mind.
...What if we had lived different lives, just a little?
The words Wi Seol-ah had said to me earlier kept echoing in my ears.
Would we have lived better lives?
You.
And me, too.
The light that had been emanating from Wi Seol-ah slowly faded away,
and soon, it was as if nothing had happened.
I finally loosened my hold and shifted my posture to look at Wi Seol-ah.
She had her eyes closed.
“...”
When she opened her eyes again,
it would be the Wi Seol-ah of this life, the one I had known until now.
Would she remember what had just happened?
Would she know my secret as well?
For now, those thoughts didn’t matter. I let out a long breath and placed my hand over my chest.
‘...What just happened?’
I had absorbed her energy into my body, but...
there wasn’t a trace of her left in my dantian, or my heart.
There was no way to know what had happened.
I had just followed the voice’s instructions.
“...”
The unknown voice that had guided me.
How could I have followed the words of a stranger so easily?
But then again,
that voice wasn’t entirely unfamiliar.
I had heard that voice before.
Not once had I ever forgotten it.
If I wasn’t mistaken,
the owner of that voice was...
The one who had left me so long ago.
“...Mother.”
It was my mother’s voice.