My steps felt heavy.
With my cultivation, my body should feel much lighter.
Yet, my feet felt so incredibly heavy.
It must be because the emotions weighing on my heart were so heavy that even my steps felt burdened.
I ran.
Although I wanted to break through everything in my way, smashing it all apart,
even as crazy as I am, I couldn’t do that.
So, I simply ran.
Though I was a bit concerned about leaving Moyong Hee-ah behind, there was nothing I could do.
The people around me looked at me with surprised eyes.
Was my expression that strange?
I didn’t know.
Right now, I couldn’t think of anything.
I arrived at a place crowded with people.
It was a space prepared to treat the injured, and as always, the doctors from Shinryong Hall were working tirelessly.
I walked past them.
As I walked a bit farther, I spotted the one I was looking for.
“Hah…”
Catching my breath, I looked down at the person lying there.
She wasn’t even lying on a proper bed. The beds had long been taken by those who were more severely injured.
Since her body wasn’t in serious condition, she was simply lying on a nameless cloth spread on the ground.
I approached cautiously.
As I was about to take a step closer, she began to rise.
Slowly, as if exhausted, she brushed her hair back with one hand.
Radiant.
Even in this chaotic space, with all the noise around us,
her presence alone rendered everything else meaningless.
It was as if she emitted light.
She had that kind of power.
She was like that in our past life too.
She shone so brightly that someone like me didn’t even dare to approach.
Is it any different now?
It’s not any different now either.
The only difference is that I’ve changed to the point where I no longer care about such things.
If you were to ask if that’s a good thing,
I still don’t know.
“Hah…”
I hadn’t run that hard, so why was I so out of breath?
My body was capable of running for days without tiring, yet somehow, my breathing was labored.
Tap.
I took another step closer.
Despite the noisy murmurs around us, as if hearing the sound of my footsteps, her gaze turned towards me.
Our eyes met.
As I locked onto her large, dark eyes, the thoughts I had been struggling with grew hazy.
“...”
“...”
We didn’t exchange any words, just stared at each other.
What should I say?
As I walked, I had agonized over it thousands of times.
What words would feel most natural, what would be easiest to say.
Yet, no words came out.
Like an idiot, even after coming all this way, I hesitated.
“…Did you run here?”
In the end, since I couldn’t speak first, she initiated the conversation.
“No, not really. I was just training and thought maybe you had woken up, so I came to check.”
I foolishly clung to my pride.
What a madman.
What pride do I need to cling to at this point? This damn personality of mine seems destined to torment me for the rest of my life.
The only saving grace was that she smiled at my words.
It was obvious to anyone that my excuse was ridiculous.
If I was going to get caught anyway, I should’ve just been honest.
Why can’t I do that?
“How’s your body?”
I steadied my racing heart as I approached.
“I’m fine.”
As she answered, I knelt on one knee.
“…If something’s wrong, tell me quickly. The doctors are busy, so you have to let them know in advance.”
“I’m really fine.”
“That’s a relief then.”
She looked at me and asked.
“And you, are you okay, Gu Gongja?”
“I’m fine…”
I was about to answer when my thoughts suddenly focused on how she addressed me.
Gu Gongja, not Gu Gongja-nim.
It’s just one syllable less, but the difference felt enormous to me.
Did she notice the flicker in my eyes?
She smiled bitterly, as if she had.
“…Shall we go out?”
Her words flowed naturally, though her voice felt more mature, less varied in pitch.
“Where to?”
“Somewhere we can talk.”
With that, she rose to her feet.
It would’ve been easy to refuse, but it felt like it was something she wanted, so I followed her without a word.
We stepped outside into the quiet forest.
It had been a day since the attack, and the dark veil had lifted, revealing the clear sky.
“The weather’s nice.”
“Yeah.”
“It feels like it’s been a long time since I looked at the sky.”
“Really?”
“Yes. There wasn’t much time to admire things like that.”
She looked up at the sky for a moment, then turned her gaze towards me.
“For both of us… there hasn’t been much time, has there?”
“…”
She was right.
There was no time to admire the sky or reflect on anything.
Wandering through hell, there was no time for such thoughts.
But now…
I could faintly understand why Ma Geomhu had stared blankly at the moon back then.
Perhaps it was thanks to my calmer emotions.
For the first time, I could take a closer look at her face.
Her eyes, slightly more downturned than usual.
The face that usually seemed like it was always smiling had now taken on a calm, peaceful aura.
It was a different look from the Wi Seol-ah I had known in this life,
a more familiar and sorrowful expression.
As I recognized this, I asked her.
“Since when…”
“Wait.”
Just as I was about to ask, she interrupted me.
I looked at her curiously, wondering what she was about to do.
“I have something to say first…”
“What is it?”
What could it be?
Is she going to insult me? If that’s the case, I can take it.
A bit of venting… unless it’s drawing a sword, that’s fine.
That’s what I was thinking when…
“I’m sorry…”
She apologized.
“What?”
“I’m really sorry…”
It was unexpected.
The fact that she was apologizing to me.
“Why are you apologizing all of a sudden?”
“…I’m sorry…”
“What’s wrong?”
Her voice was trembling as if she were about to cry.
Seeing her like that left me bewildered.
Why was she about to cry?
“Why are you—”
“I realized too late what you did for me, Gu Gongja.”
“…!”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, even though it’s so late…”
A heavy weight pressed down on my chest,
like a long dagger had been thrust into my already burdened heart.
‘How?’
My mind raced at her words.
How did she know?
No, what exactly did she find out?
How much does she know?
“…What are you talking about? Calm down, don’t cry.”
Was she talking about what happened in Magyeong?
No, no one but me should remember that.
And I sincerely hoped no one else remembered.
If it’s not that, then could it be what happened during the war?
Whatever it was, I hoped she didn’t know.
“What are you talking about? I don’t… quite understand.”
“…I made things difficult for you, I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing already.”
“…”
At my words, she looked at me with such a pitiful gaze.
What was the meaning behind those eyes?
My head pounded.
How much did she know?
‘Could she know even about that?’
No, no way.
She couldn’t know that.
She mustn’t know.
She can’t know that I became a demon for her.
I hoped with all my heart that she didn’t know that.
“Stop apologizing… I don’t want to hear that from you.”
“…”
I never did any of it to hear apologies from her.
I believed it was something that had to be done.
I figured I was just unlucky to be the one caught in it.
Even though I cursed and regretted endlessly why it had to be me…
In the end, I thought it was okay.
As long as she could find some comfort,
that was enough for me.
“It’s all in the past now.”
“…”
At my words, she flinched.
It’s all over.
It never happened.
It won’t happen again.
“As long as it doesn’t happen anymore, that’s what matters.”
“…”
But the more I spoke, the sadder her expression became.
Why?
Why was she making such a sad face?
I couldn’t understand.
I didn’t know what she knew, but I hoped it would all be forgotten.
That’s the life I was trying to live now.
“Gu Gongja…”
“Yeah?”
“Are you happy?”
“…Out of nowhere?”
“Yes.”
Her question caught me off guard.
‘Happy, huh.’
I asked myself, but it wasn’t an easy answer to give.
“I don’t think I’m particularly happy right now.”
Honestly, I’m not sure what happiness is supposed to feel like.
I haven’t had the time to think about that, either in my past life or in this one.
Nothing in my world is resolved yet.
To even consider such things,
I’d need to have cleared away all my burdens.
Only when I’ve emptied my mind and taken the time to really look around,
only then would I be able to contemplate something like happiness.
“What about you? How about you?”
“Me?”
She smiled as she heard my question.
“I’m happy… at least for now.”
Her smile was so beautiful that it made my heart tremble, but
I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was a bit forced.
As I observed that smile,
I said, “There’s something I want to ask.”
It was time to get to the main point.
There were too many things I wanted to know.
As if understanding my intention, she adjusted her expression.
Looking at her, I asked.
“…Since when?”
The meaning behind my question was simple.
Since when?
When did she stop being Wi Seol-ah from this life?
When did she return to being the Sword Saint of her past life?
At the very least, it couldn’t have been from the very first moment we met.
The girl who handed me that potato back then was clearly clueless.
“Since when did you become her? That’s what I want to know.”
“…”
Wi Seol-ah closed her eyes quietly for a moment,
as if organizing her thoughts.
A few seconds passed before she opened her eyes again and spoke.
“It was a few days after you returned, Gu Gongja.”
“…A few days?”
Just a few days?
It wasn’t too far off from what I thought.
Maybe that’s why I could start piecing together her strange behavior.
The moments when she exuded an unfamiliar atmosphere,
those were starting to make sense now.
‘But how?’
Does this mean Wi Seol-ah is also a returner like me?
‘Then, even back in Sichuan…’
Was that why she was able to break through the Jinbeop at Geumcheonyeon-ga’s secret warehouse?
Even her unfamiliar physical prowess back then?
“It’s different.”
“…Hmm?”
While I was sorting through my thoughts,
Wi Seol-ah suddenly denied something.
Had she read my mind?
“What do you mean it’s different?”
“I… my situation is different from yours, Gu Gongja.”
“What’s different?”
Wi Seol-ah continued, as if she felt it was necessary to correct my understanding.
“Unlike you, who fully turned back time and became completely one with your body, I am merely a parasite inhabiting this body.”
“A parasite?”
“The owner of this body is still this girl. I’m merely borrowing it.”
So that means…
The Wi Seol-ah of this life still exists,
and the spirit of the Sword Saint from the past life is attached to her, like how Shin Noya is attached to me.
“…That’s…”
What’s the difference?
Even if her soul traveled back to inhabit her original body,
isn’t that still returning?
Though technically different, I thought it was pretty much the same.
‘Wait.’
Then another thought crossed my mind.
Wi Seol-ah seemed to know exactly what had happened to her.
I didn’t know what method she used, but
she seemed to have come here on her own strength.
Which means…
“…Were you the one who made me return?”
Could it be that the reason I came back in time,
the power behind my return, was the Sword Saint’s?
At my question, Wi Seol-ah’s large eyes widened in surprise,
but she soon gave me a sorrowful smile.
“No… I wasn’t the one.”
‘So it wasn’t her after all.’
I had hoped I might find the answer to my return,
but it seems Wi Seol-ah wasn’t involved.
Should I feel relieved about that?
Just as I tried to move on, Wi Seol-ah continued speaking.
“I wanted to… I would’ve given everything to make that happen, but… I wasn’t a vessel strong enough to bear such karma.
Sending me here in this state was the limit.”
The Sword Saint had been the strongest in her time.
The only one who defeated Cheonma, who had slain the three Supremes single-handedly.
And yet, even she couldn’t do it.
‘Then who?’
The World Tree had said it wasn’t her.
Though she had the power to return Yeon Il-cheon to the past,
she wasn’t the one responsible for my return.
That means whoever caused my return must be as powerful as the World Tree,
one of the rulers of this world.
‘Then who?’
I still didn’t know.
But I understood one thing—this world wanted something from me.
How could I not know? It was all too clear from how events were unfolding.
It was infuriating enough as it was, but that only made it worse.
The only small consolation was that I could see this person before me again, even just once.
I decided to set that matter aside for now.
“Do you want to know?”
I froze at the Sword Saint’s words.
“…What?”
“Do you want to know who it was that turned back your time, Gu Gongja? Do you want to know?”
“You… know who it was?”
“I know.”
Her words made my eyes widen.
How did Wi Seol-ah know?
But if she did know, then I wanted her to tell me.
“If you want to know, I can tell you.”
“Of course, tell me—”
“But if you hear it… you may regret it.”
Just as I was about to ask her to tell me immediately,
her warning stopped me in my tracks, and I frowned.
Regret it?
Seeing my expression, Wi Seol-ah stepped closer,
and said softly.
“Even so… do you still want to hear it?”
“…”
Her words made me hesitate, strangely enough.
She said I might regret it.
What could possibly be mixed up in my return to make me regret knowing?
Part of me felt a chill of fear,
but it didn’t take me long to make my decision.
“I need to hear it.”
I’ve had too many regrets in my life already.
Running away out of fear wasn’t an option anymore.
I had to keep moving forward.
“I thought you’d say that, Gu Gongja.”
At my response, Wi Seol-ah looked at me as if she had known I would.
“I’ll tell you.”
Just then,
a gentle breeze blew from behind me.
It was the spring wind.
“The one who turned back your time… it wasn’t me.”
Wi Seol-ah’s voice carried on the wind as she finally revealed the truth.
It was in my third spring after returning.
On this day, I finally learned the identity of the one responsible for my return.
“It was Cheonma.”
“It was her.”