Chapter 96: A knight’s knowing gaze
"Uh, Lord Ridgewood? Thank you for your help, but you don’t have to-" Cass felt like his hands were shaking, his eyes were shaking, he was just in shock. Draken calling him Cass? Expected. The man was an asshole. Vespertine calling him Cass? Not...fully expected, but also somewhat predictable. Even the girls calling him Cass he could see.
Lord Ridgewood? Never expected. Quite alarming, really. All the hair on Cass’ arms was standing on end, and Lord Ridgewood didn’t seem to notice. Or if he did, he didn’t seem to care.
"It is no trouble. I was surprised when you yelled and started falling towards me, but from your actions I could tell it wasn’t intentional. Why didn’t you use magic to stop yourself?" Lord Ridgewood asked and Cass had nothing to defend himself.
The look that Lord Ridgewood gave him as well, with those green eyes of his, caught Cass by surprise as well. It was like he was trying to see inside of him, gauge what was going on. Cass swallowed, his face flushing as he exhaled.
He was still flustered from falling, and from the reason why he fell. Lord Ridgewood hadn’t looked down at the books in his hands yet, or he was sure he would have made a comment about that as well. Anyone in a romance novel would.
"I...I really don’t have any excuse. I think I was just so surprised that I was even falling it didn’t...I just braced for impact." Cass muttered, embarrassed. Lord Ridgewood stared at him, before he gave a jerk of his head in a nod.
"Where are your guards? Or your servant? You have been keeping two by your side recently. One of them should be by your side by now." Cass sighed, even more embarrassed as he kept needling into the parts that Cass had thought were fine, but given the situation, clearly weren’t.
"I...gave them other duties as I checked out the library on my own. I thought I would be fine. I guess I underestimated myself since it’s near my monthly break." Cass exhaled slowly, shaking his head and giving Lord Ridgewood a bitter smile. "I must truly thank you. If I had injured myself...I do not know how long it would have taken me to heal." Lord Ridgewood seemed to stiffen at his words before his eyebrows pressed together lightly.
"Again, I am just grateful that you appear fine, Cass. There is no need to thank me. You did make me feel like a good person, though, as I was able to catch you just in time. Speaking of injuries, how are yours healing?" Lord Ridgewood asked, but Cass was still reeling from being called by his name again.
It was alarming, and his heart wasn’t able to handle it. Being called Cass in this body? It felt like it was taking months off of his life.
Flustered, Cass let out a shaky breath.
"My forehead looks worse then it is, and the injury on my shoulder seems to be progressing at a good rate." Cass said, familiar with wounds from his previous life. Lord Ridgewood frowned.
"Seems to? You aren’t certain?" He asked and Cass let out a light laugh.
"Lord Ridgewood, unlike when holy magic is used, these things don’t have a projected healing time. I can’t be tended to by a priest, so as long as an infection doesn’t slow down progress, it’s...a guessing game. The colour seems good for how long I’ve had the injury, and the fact that it needed to be sealed. The other one...I haven’t had any bite marks before, so that is something I’m a little less experienced in." Cass told him, and Lord Ridgewood stepped closer. His expression held confusion, and his lips were turned down slightly.
"May I? Our discussion makes me curious and I wish to see for myself." Cass swallowed.
"Uh, sure." Cass flinched at the feeling of his slightly rough fingers against the skin of his forehead, pushing back his hair to view the wound. He made a soft noise of complaint in his throat.
"This looks like it is healing? This looks..." He trailed off and Cass chuckled.
"I promise you, that is totally normal. It’s just the blood cells in my body sealing the wound. It looks much worse than it actually is. If I picked at it, it would make the scar that is going to appear look much worse. It’s a good sign it’s so crusty." Cass told him almost cheerfully. It was more of a nervous reaction, as the slightly taller man looked down at him, his expression damn near unreadable.
With Vespertine, it was because he knew the man was conniving and was always thinking five steps ahead. With Lord Ridgewood? He was worried. Cass wasn’t sure why, but a deep sense of worry filled his gut. Lord Ridgewood had appeared uninterested in Cass when he had first woken up. For him to take this time to look at his wound? He didn’t know what it meant, but it concerned him.
Plus, Lord Ridgewood was dressed in normal attire today. He was wearing a white undershirt, a dark green overcoat, and black pants. He had his sword at his waist, and his red hair was pushed away from his face, slightly messy, but in a way that told everyone that the man was a knight first, a noble man second.
Lord Blackburn and Lord Ridgewood, as far as he knew, had rarely interacted, and never like this. As much as Cass had really liked him, that was as a character. He was, unfortunately, a person now, living and breathing, and Cass could feel his breath catching as Lord Ridgewood turned his gaze towards his shoulder.
He slid his gaze back to Cass’ eyes and Cass swallowed.
"May I?" He asked and Cass had barely nodded before the man was reaching for his shoulder, gently undoing a few buttons and ties on his clothes to get a view of the mark that Draken had made. Once it was revealed, the man looked even more confused. "This is..." He mumbled, and Cass looked away, not wanting to see it.
"It’s teeth marks alright." Cass said, trying his best to keep his tone light. Lord Ridgewood nodded.
"It certainly is. I’m...almost impressed if it wasn’t clear that this is..." Lord Ridgewood sighed, before he glanced at Cass. "Is it true that you have never dealt with having any kind of shackles on you, childhood or otherwise? Everyone has made assumptions after hearing your words, but I would rather hear it from you." Lord Ridgewood’s gaze pierced Cass, and Cass sucked in a shaky breath.
He didn’t have a lot of Lord Blackburn’s memories, but thankfully, he had a few from around that time. He’d never seen anything like what they others had described, and honestly, that was probably something he should have been looking into with a bit more fervor, but he also worried that would reveal that he didn’t know much about magic to others.
"I...If I can be honest, Lord Ridgewood, the whole concept of shackles...I’d never heard of them before." Cass took a risk. He’d heard of magic suppressants, shackles, what have you in other stories, but they had never been mentioned in the story, and as much as Lord Blackburn had been raised in a magic household, he hadn’t exactly been raised in a household that cared about him.
They had hoped he would die. Why the hell would they give him books on how to suppress his power? They never would have done that. So, he took a risk.
Cass knew he looked awkward, hell, he felt awkward, and Lord Ridgewood seemed shocked.
"You...never heard of them?" Lord Ridgewood asked and Cass gave his head a nod in response. "How is that the case? Your family pride themselves on being researchers, and have come out with the newer models of shackles, Cass. I just can’t believe you." Cass wouldn’t make eye contact with him.
God, he wished he would stop calling him like that.
"I...I have never been a part of that branch of research, and frankly, no one in my family considered that I needed shackles of any kind." Lord Ridgewood froze.
"What? Were you weak as a child? Did you come into this power when you came of age?" Lord Ridgewood asked and Cass shrugged.
"I’m pretty sure I’ve always had this level of power, if not slightly less." Cass told him and Lord Ridgewood blinked several times. "I hope this doesn’t change your perception of me, Lord Ridgewood. I just...It adds another layer to why I was so confused." Lord Ridgewood’s fingers, which had been frozen, slowly began to redo what he had undone.
"No." He muttered quietly. "It makes perfect sense as to why you were so confused. Did you truly have no concept of suppression either? Has no other mage suppressed your mana, ever?" Lord Ridgewood asked and Cass let out a deep sigh. He took a moment to think back on the memories that he had possession of before he shook his head.
"As far as I can remember, no. Never." Lord Ridgewood stared at Cass, his green gaze piercing before he frowned.
"That, Cass..." He muttered before shaking his head. He stepped back, Cass’ clothes back on, but slightly askew still. "I am sorry to hear that. I had thought that a great family like the Blackburn’s wouldn’t do something so...horrendous, but it appears I was wrong." Cass, and Lord Blackburn inside of him, stared at Lord Ridgewood.
"It was fine." He said, and Lord Ridgewood stared at him in surprise. "I don’t need your pity, Lord Ridgewood, but thank you for giving it so freely." It wasn’t exactly Cass just speaking, but he didn’t mind. Lord Blackburn wasn’t taking over like he had done before, just influencing the words that Cass would have spoken anyways.
Lord Ridgewood stared at Cass in confusion, his expression tense. His gaze looked over Cass’ body, as if he was checking something. Cass had no idea what it was, but it did feel like he was checking if something was...off with him.
"Uh, Lord Ridgewood? If I may?" Cass asked, licking his lips. "Um, why are you calling me Cass?" He asked, finally, his body tense. Lord Ridgewood, his expression still focused on Cass’ body, opened his mouth.
"You referred to yourself as Cass, so why would I call you by any other name?" He replied and Cass felt his eyes go wide. He’d referred to himself as Cass in a moment of anger, but he had remembered that? That was...Cass didn’t know how to feel about that.
"I...I see. Um, could you...not? It’s...it feels..." Cass trailed off, his cheeks warming. Awkward came to mind, but to put it in terms he understood...intimate. It felt intimate, and he didn’t think that they were that close. Cass knew next to nothing about the man besides that he was a good knight and kept to himself normally. He was loyal, and liked to help others. He was devout, too, which Cass felt indifferent about, but... Cass exhaled. "When you call me Cass, it feels far too intimate. I said what I did in a moment of frustration and anger. I would appreciate it if you called me something else."
Lord Ridgewood tensed, his gaze going to Cass’. He blinked several times, before his lips turned up slightly.
"Intimate? Is that not your name?" He asked and now it was Cass’ turn to be slightly confused.
"No, Lord Ridgewood. That’s a nickname. Of course it isn’t my name. You know my name." Cass replied and Lord Ridgewood’s lips turned up fully.
"Of course. You are Lord Cassian Blackburn. ’Cass’ would be a nickname for you, wouldn’t it?" Why did he sound...like he was teasing him while saying that? Cass stiffened as the other man chuckled. "I will take your words into consideration, Lord...Blackburn." Cass didn’t like that hesitation, and the twisting, uncomfortable feeling in his gut grew more intense.
"Thank you, and thank you for catching me again." Cass told him and Lord Ridgewood smiled at him.
"You should try to up your food intake. You were...alarmingly light." Lord Ridgewood told him and Cass exhaled, before he smiled tightly.
"We are working on it. With my restrictions, it does make finding calorie dense foods hard." Cass smiled. "But I appreciate your concern, Lord Ridgewood." Cass glanced at where the sun was in the sky and sighed. "Unfortunately, the time I had allotted for a library visit is up, so I must be heading on my way. I shall see you at another time." Cass gave a small bow, before he turned on his heel and fled.
He swore Lord Ridgewood was chuckling behind him.