Gideon didn’t think he could repent enough to counter what he had done, nor what he was currently receiving. It was a blessing that he had been allowed back into the fold. It was more than he could ask for when Cass had welcomed him into his bed the first time, and far more than he deserved when a spot had been made for him.
Gideon was still in shock from Cass apologising that he’d used a contract to prove his loyalty. Gideon thought that if he had been in Cass’ shoes and someone who was supposed to have his back had betrayed him, he would have done the same. He had every right to be cautious of Gideon.
Even if a small part inside of Gideon had ached at the contract that had been brought before him, he hadn’t questioned it. He’d signed it willingly, without being forced, because he would rather remain by their sides as a lesser being then be excluded completely.
The life that Gideon was living now? He wondered if he had died and the gods were giving him a rather elaborate final ending. It would be fitting for someone like Gideon. Someone who his family didn’t even want.
Gideon honestly had a rather hard time understanding why Edgar and Cass remained by his side. Why had they chosen him in any capacity? He had felt like a stand-in for Lucian while he was gone and now that he was back, he wondered why he was still welcomed into the fold.
Make no mistake, Gideon was very, very grateful that they had helped him. That they had given him any time or consideration, that Cass had given him a sword and one that was meant for the Ridgewood’s. And that Cass had also allowed him closure with his family. Cass and Edgar were the ones who had stood up for him when he didn’t think he deserved it. They were the ones who had gotten angry on his behalf and had shown him, over and over, that how he had been treated was wrong.
It was through their insights that Gideon grew strong enough to fight back. He couldn’t believe that he’d won a fight against his father. That would be one of his crowning achievements, even after they defeated the demon king. The demon king felt like nothing in comparison to the chokehold that Gideon’s father had on him.
Gideon owed them both a lot. He owed them whatever they wanted, whatever they desired. If that happened to be his body? So be it. Gideon would do everything he could to maintain it to the level that he knew that they would desire him.
Things got a little more confusing when Lucian got involved though. Gideon didn’t know what he could offer the dragon. He originally thought that Lucian hated his guts and he had every right to be upset with him. After all, he had hurt Cass, the man that Lucian was certain would become his mate at some point. Gideon hadn’t learned what the difference was between marriage and mating yet, but he was going to.
He just felt a little foolish asking them the difference when it seemed that everyone else already knew. He thought about asking Sir Forsythe but had decided against it. He didn’t want to seem stupid when compared to the others. He was already lacking in morality when it came to the others, he couldn’t be stupid on top of that.
Whatever it was, he knew that Lucian and Cass had a special relationship. It was also clear that Lucian and Edgar had a good relationship as well. More antagonistic when compared to the sweet relationship that Cass seemed to have with everyone, but that was fine. Gideon just didn’t know where he came into play when it came to Lucian.
When they had all slept together as a group, Gideon had known his place. He wasn’t the preferred selection. He knew that and he was fine with it. He was just an extra in the love life of the others. Sure, he loved Edgar, had always loved Edgar, and would love the man until the day he died. That was obvious to everyone and he was fine with that. He also loved Cass. It was a newer love, built on hard truths and forgiveness, but it was still there. The man had changed Gideon’s life for the better.
There was no way he was going to come out of that without falling in love with a man as kind and selfless as Cass. He cared so much for others, much like Edgar did, but in a different way. He had an ability to touch others to their core, shake them up, and then remake them into better people.
Just being able to witness that was enough for Gideon. He was used to being on the outskirts. It was probably why when he was granted the privilege to sleep with anyone that night he felt over the moon. He’d expected just to watch. After all, Lucian had two penises, he was sure they could have figured it out. Gideon would have gladly assisted as well.
Being able to sleep with both of them? Make love to both Edgar and Cass? Gideon had felt like his soul had been changed. He’d never expected something so beautiful to happen. He didn’t realise that his life could go in this direction.
Then...then he’d kissed Lucian. All bets were off at that point. He had been under the impression that Lucian didn’t like him. At all. To have the man kiss him like that...Gideon had felt like his worldview was being changed all over again.
Was that allowed? Could he do that? It was clear from how Edgar and Cass reacted that maybe it wasn’t allowed, but the way that Lucian had looked at him after, like he was recalculating Gideon’s worth had almost made him blush.
Gideon would be the first to say that after that, all of the confusion and self-doubt had gone to his head. He had acted irrationally and had reached for Edgar in his time of need. He didn’t really know that Lucian was doing the same.
Part of that was spurred on by the fact that Cass had fainted. That had terrified Gideon. He had worried that he was the reason that Cass had done that. That he’d somehow put too heavy of a burden on him. So he’d turned to Edgar and Edgar hadn’t turned him away. If he had, maybe Gideon wouldn’t have been punished the way that he had.
Gideon had never felt so confused and turned on in his life. He’d thought sleeping with Cass once would be enough, he never knew that he was so greedy. So full of lust and desire and need.
He’d had to run through several exercises to calm himself down, and even then, he still felt like a beast. He felt like one even now, just imagining those soft, sweet thighs clamped around his waist as he took and took.
It was enough to drive a man insane. No wonder some of the knights spoke of never being satiated. Gideon was slowly falling into the depths of the demon realm and he was gladly walking into it. Edgar and Cass having made bonds with demons or having demon blood had nothing to do with it. It had everything to do with the way they looked at him in the moment. The way they touched him, stroked him, desired him.
Gideon had never felt so owned in his life, and he was happy about it.
Gideon shuddered, trying to bring his focus back to the task at hand. Cass had given him freedom here, and it was freedom that he was not going to take for granted. He was in charge of the knights again, in tandem with Sir Forsythe. They worked as a team, not opposing forces, and it was a dream that Gideon’d had for years since he’d met the other knight.
Sir Forsythe was very well respected. So much so that others had tried to recruit him from the Blackburn’s side. He hadn’t known at the time that it was because of Cass that he didn’t leave, but now that he did, it only made him more admirable. The fact that Sir Forsythe spoke to him without that little hint of degradation anymore was a blessing.
Now Gideon just had to make sure he didn’t fuck up his relationship with everyone and ruin it all, all over again.
He had been given so many things. A place to live, a special sword, a lord to be loyal to, a warm bed to sleep in and willing bedmates. Gideon could not dare to dream for a better life. He only had two tasks that he must complete. Feed his master and protect his master.
Gideon would make sure he would not fail the tasks that he had been given. He was good at following orders if they were clear, and those two were. He was glad that at the very least, he had the physical prowess to master anything that he was taught. He took his time, but the others didn’t seem to mind. Especially when he found exactly what made them extremely happy.
All that Gideon had to figure out at this point was how he fit into this life now that Lucian was back, and what role he played to Lucian. Were they companions? Friends? Lovers? Gideon didn’t know. He hadn’t been able to spend time with any of them outside of mealtimes and sleeping, and even then they had been understaffed enough that Gideon had been filling in for rotations so that the guards could get some well-earned rest.
With his newfound saint powers, he could sleep less and feel well-rested. He wasn’t sure if that was what the gods intended, but he knew that they wanted him to support Cass to the best of his abilities. Gideon was capable of doing that.
"Gideon, something on your mind?" Sir Forsythe asked as they oversaw the training of some of the new fairy guards. They were already capable, but if they didn’t take their training like the others had, there would be tension between the guards. Gideon and Sir Forsythe had decided that to minimize that they would train them still. They even explained to the new fairy guards coming in that it was just to make sure that everyone was on the same level.
He was sure that the fairies thought it was ridiculous, but they wanted to work for Cass, so they didn’t complain.
Gideon shook himself, turning to one of the knights that he’d admired outside of his own family and shook his head.
"No, Sir Forsythe. I was just thinking of the new schedule." He lied and Sir Forsythe stared at him. Gideon swallowed. He felt like nothing got past this man. After all, he was certain that Sir Forsythe had known that Cass wasn’t human long before the others had and he had protected him still. He had to have also known that Cass wasn’t Cass long before the others as well. Still he had remained loyal.
He was the true image of a proper knight.
"Hmm. Alright. Let me know if you need to rest. You’re doing double duty right now while Lucian is giving me a break. Let me know if there is any way I can help." He said and Gideon appreciated his concern. Truly, he did, but Gideon wouldn’t give up his responsibilities for the world. Not when Cass and Edgar asked him so sweetly.
It was only yesterday in the bath that Cass had asked him to get on his knees for him. Gideon let out a soft breath. He would gladly do that for him, over and over again. Especially when his hands shifted and those thick, newer nails of his scraped his scalp. Gideon didn’t realise he was so reward motivated, but then again, he didn’t think he was the only one.
Gideon pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind. It wouldn’t do if he got hard in front of his new knights and guards. He was supposed to be in charge of them, none of them would respect him if he showed any kind of weakness. His humanity was probably already a mark against him given that they were fairies and had a deep, reasonable hatred of humans. He better not give them another reason to dislike him.