Chapter 55: Trying to draw the line
That’s what he was taking away from this? That was his first kiss!
Vespertine, that fucking snake, had taken his first kiss, and he was worried about Cass’ tears?
"You damn fucking punk." Cass exclaimed, and watched as Vespertine’s face went blank, hearing the words coming from Cass’ lips. "You are just a damn snake. Let me go. If I was in my right mind, I’d fucking slap you." Cass declared hotly. Vespertine’s face went slack, before he started laughing.
"You have quite the mouth on you, Cassian." Cass hated that he was starting to call him by Lord Blackburn’s first name. It felt too close to his own. He didn’t like how his body was reacting to it.
"Get your hands off of me." Cass demanded hotly, and Vespertine leaned in. Cass flinched, scrunching his eyes up again as Vespertine laughed.
"Worried that I’ll do it again? Hmm, you should be. You were so cute, and we barely did anything." Cass gasped, his eyes snapping open to glare at the other man.
"Barely did anything! You-!" Cass cut himself off, silencing himself as he turned his head away, angry. Vespertine leaned in, his eyes glowing still. Cass couldn’t meet the blue gaze, worried that he’d do or say something foolish.
"What were you going to say?" He asked and Cass grumbled.
"Nothing. I wasn’t going to say anything."
"Oh, come on Cassian. You can say it. Were you worried I was going to do something more? Or are you upset we did so little?" Cass wanted to punch that smug look off of his face. Turning a glare in his direction, Cass sniffed, doing his best to look down his nose at him. Vespertine was doing his best to maintain his expression.
"I wasn’t expecting a damn thing. I should have known better the moment you suggested we go somewhere quiet. You didn’t get your damn playboy nickname for fucking nothing." Cass told him, and Vespertine couldn’t help it. He grinned.
"Damn, how has Fiona not noticed what a cutie you are? I can’t believe that Draken and I have similar taste." It was a jab to Cass’ heart. How could he not feel that way? He’d mentioned two of the people who had hurt him the most.
Draken had dropped all contact ever since making those weird statements, and Fiona...she’d betrayed the small amount of trust he’d placed in her. All because she looked like his sister.
Mood completely spoiled, Cass pushed more urgently against Vespertine’s chest, his expression dark.
"I’m fine now. You don’t need to attempt to comfort me anymore. I’ll...be fine. I always bounce back." Cass muttered, his smile twisting his lips. Vespertine frowned, slowly letting Cass go, able to sense that if he didn’t, he’d have his head bitten off.
"Shall we head back then? Where did you want to go after this?" He asked carefully and Cass shook his head.
"You don’t...need to humour me anymore. I know you were just dragging me around to pester me. You don’t need to do that anymore. I’m sure you have things you need to do today. I’m just...going to go get a carriage and go home." Cass told him, turning his gaze away from Vespertine to stare at his clothes. They’d gotten ruffled in the time they’d been together, and carefully, he reassembled himself until it looked like nothing had happened.
"What? That wasn’t why I was out with you. I wanted to spend time with you." Cass scoffed, getting to his feet, worried that they wouldn’t hold him. Thankfully, they did and Cass stared at the small entrance into this space. He knew that more than likely, Vespertine’s people were waiting outside, his own people shoved to the side. He felt a deprecating smile touch his lips.
"Don’t lie. I know it was all a test. It’s always a test. I’m sure even t-that was a test, wasn’t it?" Cass glanced at him expecting Vespertine to be serious. Instead, he found the man staring at him in shock. Cass felt his own eyes widen. "A-Anyways, I think we should separate here. It wouldn’t do us any good if we remained attached at the hip." Cass told him and started to move towards the narrow alleyway entrance.
Vespertine’s hand grabbing his wrist surprised him, and Cass turned to look over his shoulder at the other man.
"Did I do something wrong? Did you hate it? I was honestly just trying to soothe you. You seemed...to want me to kiss you. Did I read it wrong? I’m sorry if that was the case." Cass felt his face heat. He’d never seen the man look so...desperate. He wasn’t expecting it.
Scrunching up his face, swallowing, Cass looked away from him. "I wasn’t asking to be kissed, Vespertine. I don’t...I don’t think of others that way." Cass muttered.
"Others? Not just men, but women as well? So I did do something wrong. I’m sorry, Cassian." Cass flinched. It was too late. It was too fucking late.
Why was he only now apologising? Why hadn’t he apologised before, when it was Lord Blackburn proper here? Why was everyone getting fucking apologetic now that Cass was here? He wasn’t the one they were supposed to be apologising to!
"You don’t need to apologise. I apparently gave you the signal, so it’s on me." Cass muttered, trying to shake Vespertine’s grip from his arm. "You don’t need to feel bad. I just don’t want to burden you with my presence anymore. You can go about whatever you had planned for the day in town without me. It was a waste of time, anyways."
Vespertine let go of Cass’ arm like he’d been electrocuted.
"A waste of time?" Vespertine repeated, shocked. Cass hated that he sounded hurt. They weren’t close enough that Cass should be able to hurt him. They were the ones who’d pushed him away originally. Why was he being made into the bad guy?
He shouldn’t get close to any of them. It wasn’t going to help him. He needed to be the one to put up harsh barriers. He needed to be like Lord Blackburn. He needed to not care. Not feel. He needed to be okay being alone.
"I didn’t get to do any of the things I needed to get done today." Cass replied, swallowing thickly.
"Oh. I see." Vespertine’s voice was cold, and Cass felt his chest ache. Fuck. This was...awful. Fucking awful. He was supposed to be reforming his image, so he needed to push away everyone else.
He couldn’t become better in their shadows.
"I’ll see you back at the castle." Cass told him, moving towards the park. He was just a few steps away from everything being back to normal. It would go back to normal.
"Cassian?" Cass froze. Unable to stop himself from turning, he wasn’t expecting Vespertine to grab his head and press their lips together. Even more so since their guards and people were so close by. The rumours alone would-
Vespertine pulled away, his eyes glowing under the brim of his hat, the blue mesmerizing as Cass tried to gather his breath. His face was hard, harsh, and Cass felt his eyes widen.
"If you ever say that I wasted your time again, expect a worse punishment." He growled, and Cass swore his legs nearly collapsed as the man rubbed his ear. Something warm and tingly started up in his stomach, a ticklish feeling that made his face flush. Vespertine narrowed his gaze, leaning in and slowly taking Cass’ bottom lip in between his teeth.
Cass nearly swallowed his tongue as he noticed how sharp they were.
"V-Vespertine?" Cass hated how breathless he sounded. Vespertine, however, grinned. His teeth sunk down and Cass felt his legs nearly give out. The sharp pain made the tingling feeling in his gut flame to life and Cass nearly choked.
Vespertine released his bottom lip, licking the small bite he’d made. Cass wasn’t bleeding, but it stung when he licked him.
"I mean it, Cassian. Even if I was looking to poke fun at you, I wouldn’t ever consider it wasting my time. How dare you make fun of my intentions." Vespertine growled and Cass’ head felt dizzy.
"I-I wasn’t-" Vespertine leaned in.
"You were drawing a line, weren’t you?" Cass paled. Vespertine’s gaze narrowed. "Too bad, Lord Blackburn. We’ve already well and truly crossed it. I’ve been thinking about kissing you ever since your hood was pulled down in the carriage." Cass felt his jaw drop.
"T-That was ages ago! And you’re married! You aren’t-you aren’t supposed to feel this way!" Cass protested, upset, and Vespertine narrowed his gaze further.
"What is that supposed to mean? I’m not supposed to feel this way? What do you know?" Cass gasped, trying to turn his face away as he closed his eyes. Fuck fuck fuck! He was too flustered! This was not going the way he planned!
"N-Nothing! I just-I thought you changed your ways to be with Fiona!"
"And three other men, Cassian. Do not forget that." Cass was drowning. That’s the best way he could describe how he was feeling. The tingling in his stomach hadn’t changed either. It was...he wasn’t sure what it was, but he hated it.
"You would never kiss Lord Ridgewood. You two are childhood friends!" Cass felt like he was vomiting words right now. Vespertine laughed.
"I offered, he didn’t accept. Can’t fault a man for trying." Cass groaned.
"You haven’t done this with Draken, have you?" Cass asked, and Vespertine snorted.
"Me? Kissing him? Never going to happen. He’s too rigid for my tastes, and annoying." Cass didn’t think that those words would ever come out of his mouth, and he wasn’t sure if this was a good or a bad thing. More information was always good, but this? He’d never expected this .
"So you settled on me?" Cass blurted out, unable to help himself. He still had his eyes scrunched up, Vespertine holding onto his head.
"Cassian, open your eyes." Cass shook his head. He didn’t want to see his expression. He really didn’t want to see anyone’s expression. He wanted to be back home, in his office, working away on the piles of work his Grandfather thrusted on him. "Cassian. If you don’t, I’ll kiss you deeper." Cass’ eyes flung open.
"T-There’s no need for that!" Cass protested and Vespertine chuckled.
"I had no idea that kisses were what I was going to be able to threaten you with, but now that I know, it’s incredibly endearing." Cass didn’t know what to say as Vespertine sighed. "I did not ’settle’ on you, Cassian. I decided on you. You’re the shortest of the guys, if only by a few inches, you’re uppity, stubborn, a mage like myself, and appear to be more delicate than you let on." Vespertine leaned in. "I had no idea your hips were so slim. I’m sure, without all of this baggy clothing on, you have the sluttiest waist I’ll have ever seen." Cass couldn’t help the squeak that left his lips.
"T-That’s sexual harassment, Vespertine!" Cass protested, now truly trying to escape. Vespertine chuckled.
"I’ll keep it to a minimum if you stop trying to run away." Cass frowned.
"Why would I ever stop running away?" Cass told him, and Vespertine’s eyes brightened. Cass swallowed.
"Maybe you should consider that a warning, Cassian. After all, I do like the chase the most."