After another quick bath, Cass was feeling a bit more like himself after he was dressed. So much so that he got a second wind and asked Sam to bring up some of the work from his office so that he could get a little bit done up in his room.
He knew he didn’t have enough strength to walk down the stairs, and much to Lucian’s dismay, Cass was not going to let him carry him down the stairs. For now, Cass was just going to get some work done and save tomorrow for going over the letter that the idiots had sent over, and beginning the planning for the new dungeon.
He even spoke to Gideon who came to stop by once he heard that Cass and Lucian were back after his rage reducing workout session.
He had wet hair when he came up, clearly having gotten out of a bath himself. He only startled slightly when he noticed that Lucian was wrapped around Cass, his arms around Cass’ chest from behind while Cass sat in his lap, unbothered.
Edgar was helping Sam organise the files that Sam had brought up, while a steaming cup of tea sat nearby on the coffee table.
"Am I interrupting?" Gideon asked, his eyes looking hollow. Cass glanced up, taking in his appearance and shook his head. Even as he felt Lucian tense around him.
"He needs his rest." Lucian growled and Cass, politely, smacked his arm.
"Hush. I’m sure Gideon had a rough day. The least I can do is listen to what he has to say." Cass reminded him, surprising almost everyone but Sam in the room with his compassion. Sam ducked his head, smiling to himself as he continued to work. "Have a seat, Gideon." Cass offered. "Do you want any tea or anything else to drink?" He asked, knowing that Sam would get it if he suggested it.
Gideon shook his head.
"No. I had a big glass of water before I came up." Gideon said, coming around the couch that was offered to him before reluctantly sitting down. He looked nervous, glancing around the room before he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then exhaled. "My father wants me to come back to the family." He blurted and Cass felt his chest tighten. Yeah, him coming up here now made sense. He would need to run that past someone.
"And? How does thinking about that make you feel?" Cass asked. Cass was feeling generous, letting the man have a moment to process his emotions instead of Cass just saying that he shouldn’t go to his father and brothers. Gideon needed to come to that realisation on his own.
Edgar said nothing, holding his tongue and schooling his expression tightly. However, Cass could see his grip on the papers wrinkled them, his movements sharp, angry. Cass knew what Edgar wanted to say, but Cass was proud of both men for going out of their comfort zones. Maybe Gideon had meant to talk to just Edgar about this, but instead he had gone to Cass. Edgar was holding his tongue and letting Gideon speak for himself.
Everyone could learn, like Cass was.
He felt like a damn sap, but for the life of him he couldn’t find anything wrong with that.
"I...don’t know." Gideon said slowly. "I’m...rather conflicted." He admitted. Unlike the man that Cass had met over two months ago, the man before him wasn’t stoic. He wasn’t the lifeless doll that he had met when Cassian had died and Cass had taken his place. The red haired knight who was known for being calm, practical and could react rationally when something was amiss was gone.
In its place was a nervous man, a knight and newly appointed saint, his hands on his knees and rubbing them nervously as he looked around the room. He was trying not to stare at Edgar, or at Cass for that matter. His eyes which had been rather lifeless before were alive. Vibrant green, curious, nervous, glancing around with concern and emotion. Completely unlike the man from before.
"What are you conflicted about?" Cass asked, giving Gideon most of his attention, while also skimming the papers in front of him. They didn’t require his whole attention, just a modest amount.
Gideon shifted nervously on the couch in front of him, letting out a rather loud sigh.
"Well...I’m wondering if the right thing to do is to go back to my parents house." Gideon said quietly. Cass felt Lucian stiffen around him, but when Cass glanced at him, Lucian’s expression hadn’t changed. Well well, even if Lucian appeared to not like Gideon, he also didn’t like the idea of Gideon going back to that hell hole.
It was interesting to realise that Lucian had rather complicated feelings when it came to Gideon. It was interesting to find out more about Lucian outside of the way he was...pursuing Cass.
"Why do you think it would be the right thing to go back to your parents house?" Cass asked, instead of telling Gideon he was being a damn idiot for even considering it. Cass could tell that Edgar wanted to yell at him about it, but he held his tongue. Gideon looked down at his hands, flipping them over on his knees to stare at his scarred palms.
He took a few deep breaths in, then exhaled slowly.
"Well, for one, I only came here originally to be a hostage for the hero party. While I am glad that things have changed since I arrived and I feel less like a hostage and more like a teammate, I don’t want to be a burden to you guys." Gideon’s expression clouded as Cass raised his gaze, his own body having gone stiff. "Plus...my father said that it would bring honour to the family if it was known that a saint was from their family. The Vespertines have been the family that has had saints for decades. It would be monumental for the Ridgewood’s if it came out that I was the next saint. They would also be able to take care of me better." Yeah, okay. Sure. Cass could see how they were manipulating him, and Cass needed to nip it in the bud now.
Cass put down his writing utensil, and then quietly shook his head.
"Gideon, you aren’t a burden." Cass said, and watched as the man’s shoulders tensed. "I didn’t even consider Ava a burden, and she and I never saw eye to eye." Cass told him. She was annoying and a fucking monster when she was in her ’one god’ phase, but she wasn’t his fucking problem anymore. "Also, while I am glad that you feel like you aren’t a hostage anymore, that’s not quite true. We have a contract." Cass reminded him gently.
Gideon’s shoulders tensed further, and while Cass knew it was an asshole move to remind him of it, he felt that he needed to. Not because he wanted to ’other’ Gideon, but because there was a rather large clause in the contract that if Gideon went to be with his family, he would more than likely, trigger.
"Gideon, what is stopping them from announcing now, while you aren’t by their side, that you are a saint?" Cass asked softly, and watched as the gears turned in Gideon’s head but didn’t catch on anything in particular. That wasn’t actually fair to say. He could see that they were catching, but it wasn’t sticking. The connections were slipping away out of fear. "It’s because they want to be able to control you. They’ve always wanted to control you. The moment you didn’t agree with them, they tossed you away, took your things that belonged to you, and left you for dead. That was the main reason I took you in, Gideon. I was not about to let them deface the hero party all because you told them no." Gideon’s gaze jerked to Cass’ calm one.
He swallowed, his gaze jumping to Edgar, then Lucian, and even Sam. Cass wasn’t sure what he saw in each gaze, but it made Gideon’s face go a little paler.
"You did it because of that?" Gideon asked carefully and Cass, feeling playful, chuckled.
"Well, that and I have a small soft spot for you. You’re like a small, misled puppy. It’s hard to leave you on the curb." Gideon’s brows furrowed at Cass’ words, and Lucian’s hand slid to Cass’ stomach, a soft grumble of complaint coming from the dragon cushion Cass was sitting on.
"A...puppy?" Gideon repeated and Cass nodded. He didn’t need to tell the man more than that. He didn’t need to know that from a reading viewpoint, Cass had always liked Gideon the most. Even over Lucian, or Edgar, or Fiona.
"Yes, but that’s not the important part. Disregard that." Cass said. "Why did your father imply that you would not bring honour to the Ridgewood family if you weren’t by their side as a saint? Why do they want to take honour and glory from the Vespertine family? Why would they want you back after kicking you out the way that they did?" Cass could see that Gideon was getting it. The truth was in his eyes, but Gideon dropped his gaze, hiding it from him.
Cass waited, letting Gideon mull over the words, the questions that Cass had said.
"Is it bad that I’m hopeful that I’m wrong? That we’re all wrong?" Gideon asked and Cass let out a deep sigh. He stared at the man, bred to be loyal, beaten to be loyal, and here he was, trying to fight against the nature he was given.
"No, it’s not bad, and it doesn’t make you a bad person either, Gideon. Humans..." Cass trailed off, his chest tight. It was the first time in a while that the emotions of Cass and Cassian came together in sharp agony. It was something that both of them were familiar with.
Wanting for a family that didn’t want them back.
"Humans are weak creatures, but that’s not a bad thing. They are hopeful, wistful, and willing to do anything for those they care for. You’re not the flawed person in this relationship, they are." Cass exhaled slowly, his throat tight with emotion. "You did nothing wrong, Gideon. They’re the ones who know what kind of control they have over you and how to twist the knife that they stabbed into you ages ago. There is no love in the way that they are treating you." Cass swallowed.
There was no love in the way that anyone had treated Cassian, either. Or Cass. It wasn’t his fault that his parents abandoned him and his sister. It wasn’t Cassian’s fault that his Mom did what she did, nor that his grandfather was a fucking asshole.
They had just been kids.
Cass swallowed as Lucian’s hand on his stomach tightened slightly. Cass felt the man bend, pressing a kiss to Cass’ cheek. It was rude that he was able to tell what he was feeling inside, and Gideon watched the action, conflicting emotion in his eyes.
Gideon then dropped his gaze again, staring at his palms.
"I shouldn’t go back, should I?" He asked quietly and it was Edgar who spoke up.
"No. You shouldn’t." Edgar said firmly. "They just want to abuse you, worse than what my father did to Ava and I." Edgar’s voice was hard. Gideon flinched.
"They wouldn’t-" Gideon tried and Cass let out a huff.
"Gideon, I pulled your brother off of beating you up at a party. Not even my grandfather would do that to me at a party. At the castle." Cass reminded him softly and Gideon’s shoulders fell again.
"You’re right." He said quietly and Cass glanced at Sam.
"Sam, get him some calming tea, please." Cass ordered and Gideon jerked his head up, like he was going to complain about it, but he shut up when Cass’ gave him a sharp, warning look. It was for his own good.