Cass couldn’t breathe, guilt eating him alive. He could tell from the fact that Lucian was purring that he wasn’t upset, but he remembered somewhere that cats also purr when they’re upset, so maybe he was wrong?
Was that even true? Were dragons like cats? Why could dragons even purr in the first place?
"A-Are you upset about that?" The words slipped out before Cass could stop himself. Lucian squeezed him tightly, his exhale loud to Cass’ extra sensitive senses.
"No. I’m not upset. I’m elated." Lucian sounded like he meant it, and Cass didn’t know how to feel with that information.
"But it’s the first time I asked you about yourself." Cass muttered. He’d feel like shit if he was in Lucian’s shoes. If he liked someone, a guy, and they hadn’t shown any interest in him until now? After they had...done stuff together? Cass would feel really shitty. Like he’d been used.
"Yeah, it is the first time that you’ve really asked about me, but that’s partially my fault too, you know? I wasn’t exactly nice to you before, Cass. You also...don’t really care about things that don’t interest you." Lucian told him, happiness oozing out of every inch of him. "Ah shit. I’m going to be smiling all day now." Lucian really meant his words. Cass stared at the brick wall facing him, his arms around Lucian and the soft sounds of everyday people living their lives, passing them.
Cass inhaled, smelling the mixture of Lucian, the smell of this alleyway, dirt, perfume, everything, and squeezed him tightly. Then, he gently pushed Lucian away. Lucian seemed alarmed until Cass stopped, just enough that he was able to see Lucian’s face, read his expression.
"You really aren’t upset?" Cass asked and Lucian was smiling. So wide it looked painful.
"You haven’t even given me a chance to answer your question and you’re worried about me like this. How could I be upset?" Lucian asked, taking Cass’ hands into his own and pressing soft, fluttery kisses against his fingers. Cass’ stomach tightened, his legs stiffening. "To answer your question," Lucian began, his reptilian gaze watching Cass warmly. "It was a problem when I was younger. Sometimes I still get overwhelmed, but that’s usually when I’ve been stuck in my human form for too long. I have been able to release my form often since I’ve been hunting for you, so I’m doing perfectly fine. It won’t be so fine when I have to leave since uh, of my dragon related health issues, but I’ll be okay once that’s over." That was right.
Lucian was leaving because of dragon related issues. Health issues. Cass felt his heart squeeze and he leaned in closer to Lucian, his eyes wide.
"Is it serious? Are you going to be okay? What is it, or is it too sensitive to tell me?" Cass asked, panic filling him suddenly. What if something happened to him while he was away? What if Cass didn’t know where he was and so then he couldn’t go to him when he was in danger? What if he got attacked? Cass’ mind swam with the most ridiculous situations. It didn’t matter that he was a dragon, he was-
"Cass." Lucian’s voice cut through his concerns, his humour-filled voice making Cass pause. "Stop. You don’t need to panic like that, though I do find it very endearing." Lucian mused. "Sweetness, it’s just...embarrassing to admit." Cass watched as a soft flush crossed his cheeks. Lucian coughed. "It’s...uh damn. You’re going to think I’m so lame, and I was really trying to be cool today." Lucian muttered, glancing at Cass’ big, red gaze. "However, I’d rather look lame than let this worry continue to fill you." Lucian muttered quietly.
Cass sniffed, watching him, drowning out the sound of others going about their day just a few feet away.
"What is it?" Cass asked with baited breath and Lucian flushed further.
"It’s...kind of a cross between a shed and your heat." Lucian said quietly. "It doesn’t happen often because dragons live a long time, but I’ve been living well. I’ve had consistent partners, and then I bit you and, well, nature wins even against dragons." Lucian admitted.
Cass stared at the man, not fully understanding for a moment before he let out a shaky breath, nodding slowly.
"Okay. Okay. So...you’re shedding your scales? Is that right?" Cass asked and Lucian smiled. He still had hold of Cass’ hands, pressing his face against them, his lips brushing against Cass’ knuckles. It was soft affection, so soft that Cass wasn’t even aware that he was watching him with dazed eyes.
"Yes. It takes a few days for it to happen, which is why dragons normally go back to our dens to do so. We need large amounts of space, somewhere warm, and safe." Cass flinched.
"You’ll be in danger?" Cass asked and Lucian shook his head, his orange gaze warm.
"No, Sweetness. I won’t be in danger. My den is far enough under the ground that most intruders would burn up before they got there. I’ve put a lot of work into building traps that would kill lesser creatures. Even other dragons would be in danger if they didn’t know me." Lucian was soothing Cass. He hesitated before he spoke again. "Honestly, the shed isn’t even the main worry. It’s...what would happen after that has me more worried." Lucian’s cheeks were warm. "Normally this would happen with a bond partner. They would stay behind, and uh, help after the shed." Cass didn’t get what he was saying. His mind was still caught in the first half of his words.
"Not the main worry? Stay behind? Why? You just said it was dangerous, so-" Lucian squeezed the hands he was holding.
"Cass, bond partners would become immune to the damage type that their dragon partners would emit. I mean, it wouldn’t do anyone any good if a lightning dragon hurt their bond partner with lightning, now would it? You would become immune to fire if you bonded with me, the same way Sam would become immune to darkness if he bonded, er, when he bonds with Byron." Lucian said. Cass let out a shaky exhale, processing his words.
"So a bond partner would be able to stay with you and help you? Help you with-" Cass cut off, his eyes going wide as he realised what Lucian was being coy about. The man normally wasn’t one to do so, so it took Cass a moment to register.
What Cass dealt with. His heat.
Lucian was going to go into heat after his shedding.
Cass’ gaze slid sharply to Lucian’s, his mouth opening but no words would escape. Lucian’s expression was tight, his eyes warm.
"How long?" Cass asked, his voice croaking as he finally spoke. "How long does it last?" Lucian let out a long, low exhale.
"A few weeks." He admitted. "And it wouldn’t matter if you came to help, it wouldn’t end early. It doesn’t. I also...wouldn’t be gentle, I’d be more animalistic. Rough. You wouldn’t survive it if we weren’t bonded and I would never, even risk bonding with you against your will." Lucian told him seriously. "Not like that. I wouldn’t forgive myself, so...I’ll be going away for a while. To give us space, and to deal with it on my own."
It was oddly responsible of Lucian to be making this choice. To be putting so much thought into this, but then again, was it? How much did Cass actually know about the dragon? He just assumed that Lucian was a muscle head who couldn’t think anything through because, well, he was seeing him through a human lens.
Cass let out a soft exhale, his chest tight with emotion as he slowly looked up at the man who told him the truth. Told him what was going on, even if it made him embarrassed. Made him look weak.
"You won’t be in danger?" Cass asked quietly and Lucian’s responding smile to his question made Cass’ heart ache.
"Who would endanger the red dragon, Cass? Only you could do that." He teased and Cass gulped. Oh no. His emotions were going to get the better of him.
Against his better judgement, Cass didn’t stop himself. This wasn’t the place for this, too many people could see them. At least Edgar had taken him to a quiet place, a more secluded place when he’d done this to Cass. However, Cass couldn’t fight the feelings in his chest, this tender ache he had no idea how to handle.
Standing on his tippy toes, Cass reached, pressing a soft kiss against Lucian’s shocked lips. Cass pulled back, blushing as he looked up at Lucian. His chest heaved like he’d just done something far more serious than just give the man a peck on the lips.
Nervously, Cass licked his lips, staring up at the man as his second set of eyelids slid across his eyes, hiding Cass’ view until Lucian took Cass’ hands and placed them on his shoulders. It was a soft action, and Cass had no idea where he was going with this. Cass blinked as Lucian let out a huff.
"See? You’re dangerous." Lucian warned and Cass felt his eyebrows draw together.
"I’m rich, not dangerous." Cass protested and Lucian huffed.
"Cass, you hold both of my hearts in your hands. That makes you very, very dangerous. And that? That little soft thing you just gave me? You could topple this country with one of those. That’s why I’m going to demand a few more. For safety. What am I going to do without you by my side? My dicks already ache for you. Who is going to feed you properly? Who is going to help you through your next heat? I can’t stop thinking about what I’m going to miss while I’m gone and it makes my hearts tremble. What if you forget about me? What if you stop caring about me because I’m gone?" Lucian’s soft confessions washed over Cass.
Cass felt his chest twist at his soft words, his gaze serious. The smiling man wasn’t before him anymore, and instead it was replaced with an anxious dragon. Cass flinched.
"I won’t." Cass whispered, knowing he was taking a jump into something he had no control over, and no idea what he was doing. "I won’t forget about you. I’m going to be worrying about you the whole time. Yours last three times as long? That’s horrifying, Lucian. Terrifying. How are you going to manage?" Cass asked, his voice cracking. Lucian scanned Cass, his eyes brightening to a monster glow.
"Mm. Memories. I’m going to remember every little movement you make, every little noise. Every little breathless beg, wiggle, and how warm and welcoming your ass was. I’m going to rub myself raw thinking about how wonderful and tight you’re going to feel around my cock when I finally enter you. The relief I’m going to feel, the pleasure you’re going to feel. Aren’t you going to think the same when your heat hits?" Lucian asked and Cass’ mouth went dry.
His heart thudded in his chest, his breath raspy as he sucked in. His ass clenched, his body trembling slightly. Lucian’s gaze dropped, his nostrils flaring before he glanced around.
"Someone’s hungry. Let’s find another place to give you your lunch." Lucian’s rumble was nothing if not sinful. Cass sucked in.
"W-We aren’t going to a restaurant?" Cass asked weakly and Lucian gave a short laugh. His gaze was bright, serious as he stared down at Cass.
"Not unless you want to give everyone a show, Sweetness. I’m not opposed. At least then they would know that you were mine." Lucian’s voice was calm, collected. As if he was saying something normal. Cass’ tongue stopped working.