"Alright Sweetness, just like that. Put your feet on my knees. Perfect. Can you see?" Lucian’s voice was at Cass’ ear, his arms around his chest as he held him up and Cass was feeling completely overwhelmed.
"Do I have to be this open?" Cass asked, freaking out, and Lucian gentled his voice.
"How else are you going to see everything, Cass?" He asked softly and Cass let out a panicked breath.
"This feels too open. I don’t like there being a breeze down there." Cass admitted, and Lucian, with a flick of his finger, flicked the towel up and over Cass’ lower half. He pressed soft, gentle kisses against the side of Cass’ head.
"Hey, it’s okay. We’ll just get used to this position first, alright? Take your time. No rush. You need to learn about yourself, but we don’t need to traumatize you in the process." Cass nodded, the warmth of Lucian’s chest against his back grounding him slightly. He didn’t know why it was so alarming to have his knees up like this, but there was some deeper instinct inside of him that was terrified.
"I sat like this before?" Cass asked, swallowing, and Lucian paused.
"Hmm. You know what? I don’t think you did. You didn’t really have to spread your legs like this." Lucian let out a laugh. "Ah, I think I understand why. We weren’t doing penetration, so why would you need to be spread out like this? That makes sense." Lucian said and Cass, from his knowledge of how men and women, and men and men had sex, nodded slowly.
"R-Right." He agreed, taking deep breaths, trying to self-soothe. Eventually, Cass wasn’t as afraid, his legs didn’t shake and Lucian’s hand on Cass’ chest was rubbing soft, soothing circles in his skin.
"I-I think I’m ready." Cass whispered. Lucian pressed a soft kiss against his hair and Cass watched him do so in the mirror. Lucian had somehow managed to change the angle of the mirror, letting Cass know it wasn’t as anchored to the wall and counter as he thought.
"Are you sure? We can wait a few more minutes. I’m not in a rush, and Edgar told us to take as much time as you needed." Lucian told him and Cass gulped. His hands were still shaking slightly, but if he didn’t do this now, he might back out.
"I need to do this now." Cass told him and Lucian pressed another kiss to Cass’ hair.
"Mm. Whatever my Sweetness says." Lucian said and with another finger raise, he moved the towel away from Cass’ crotch. Cass sucked in as he was confronted with his, Cassian’s, junk and Cass blinked.
For a moment, he swore he saw a birthmark that he’d had ever since he was a kid. He craned his neck, confused as he gently picked up his left testicle and moved it to the side and...yup. There it was.
A small, intricate pattern made of five dark points facing inward. It was a bit like an inverse star, with the teardrop shape of each dark mark pointing towards a center. It would have looked like a tattoo if Cass hadn’t had it since he was a kid. His sister had teased him about it all through his childhood since she was the one who had helped change his diapers as a kid. They were like a birthmark that Cass had had his whole life, before he’d come to be in Cassian’s body.
However, Lucian sucked in as soon as he saw it.
"That wasn’t there when I was down there last." Lucian muttered. Cass blushed at the intimate way hearing those words felt.
"It’s strange, isn’t it?" Cass agreed, but he didn’t sound worried. He wasn’t even sure if he should be. "I had a mark like this when I was little, too." Cass told him and Lucian’s grip tightened on him.
"As you, or as Cassian?" He asked and Cass blinked. Did Cassian have a mark like this?
"I...I’m unsure if Cassian did, but I did for sure. My sister made fun of me for having it." Cass said, meeting Lucian’s gaze in the mirror. Lucian looked shaken, and Cass blinked. "Why? What is it? This clearly means something to you." Cass said and Lucian let out a shaky breath.
"I don’t want you to get upset, and this is not what I’m implying, but that’s the mark that appears on someone when they’ve made a deal with the demons." Cass squeezed his ball unintentionally, the shock making his hand convulse. Not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough that Cass hissed out a breath.
"What?" Cass asked and Lucian nodded.
"You’ve had one since you were a child?" Lucian asked. "Are you able to make deals with demons in your world?" He asked and Cass blinked.
"No? I don’t think so? They said that they didn’t have as much pull in my previous world. Hence, gotta wait till I died." Cass felt like he was making that up, but it also felt right. If they were only able to add books to their world of other worlds, that line of thought wasn’t unreasonable. "At least, I think so." Cass mumbled, staring at the mark in the mirror that felt so familiar and yet foreign at the same time.
Seeing it on skin so pale was a bit of a shock.
"God, Cassian is so damn pale." Cass muttered out loud and Lucian let out a breath.
"You aren’t?" He asked softly and Cass shook his head slowly.
"No. I’m white, but this is...too white, you know? I’m a deeper colour, similar to Fiona, I guess." Cass said, frowning at even the mention of her at the moment. He would be doing that for a while, he felt. Lucian let out a chuckle, patting Cass’ chest warmly.
"Interesting. So you saw quite a bit of sun? Not as sheltered?" He asked and Cass let out a laugh.
"Sheltered? Lucian, I was an orphan. It was just me and my sister against the world. Until she married. Then it was me, my sister, and her husband against the world." Cass said. Cass caught the way that Lucian’s gaze softened as he looked at Cass.
"You loved your sister a lot, didn’t you?" He asked and Cass gulped.
"Can we not talk about my sister while we’re in an anatomy lesson?" Cass asked, his voice sharp, abrasive. Lucian gave him a squeeze.
"Of course, my sweetness. Now that we’ve found a demon mark, let’s go a little further, shall we?" Lucian asked, one of his hands sliding down Cass’ chest and stomach. Cass felt his stomach lurch at the touch.
"W-What are you doing?" Cass asked, his voice high and cracking. Lucian paused.
"Oh, sorry Cass. I was going to help you look. You’ll need both of your hands to touch and explore and I was going to lift your balls out of the way for you to do so. I forgot to ask ahead of time. Is that okay?" Now that Cass knew what he was doing, it wasn’t as scary. That didn’t mean that Cass wasn’t the colour of a tomato.
"You’re...going to hold my balls?" Cass repeated. Lucian smirked.
"Does that make you uncomfortable? I promise I will treat them as if I was holding my own in my hand." Lucian assured him and Cass swallowed.
"I can’t trust that you wouldn’t play with your own balls if our roles were reversed." Cass muttered and Lucian laughed.
"Baby, we’re learning together. I’m not going to get you anymore worked up then you already are. Besides, my plan is to talk you into letting me kiss and lick that sweet little spot below your balls anyways." Lucian’s smile was completely sinful as Cass met it in the mirror. Cass felt his chest heave with his breath.
The damn smooth-talker!
"L-Let’s focus. You can hold them for now." Cass muttered and Lucian’s hand continued on its path, actually cupping Cass’ balls and pulling them up. Not tight, but enough that Cass could see the problem area with his own eyes.
Cass felt his eyes widen as Lucian let out a whistle.
"That’s not the little hole I remember, either." Lucian said and Cass gulped.
"Is that what it looks like?" Cass asked, staring at the dripping slit forming beneath his balls and between his ass. "Oh god, what the fuck am I?" Cass whispered and Lucian’s arm tightened around him.
"Hey, none of that. While this is strange, you aren’t a freak. There are far stranger creatures out there. Don’t panic, Cass. Let’s just focus on what we see, alright? You knew that your body was going to start changing, the demon king let you know that, right? Strangely polite of him to do so." Lucian muttered and Cass swallowed, nodding his head slowly.
"It was strange of him." Cass agreed. "Okay. I have this...hole under me. Is this a normal size?" Cass asked, worried and hesitant to even touch it. His fingers shook as they hovered over it and he winced as they brushed against the skin next to it. His thighs twitched. "Why is it so sensitive?" Cass asked, looking back at Lucian instead of in the mirror.
That was when he noticed how hard Lucian was tensing his jaw. He couldn’t tell from the mirror and the angle they were sitting at.
"Lucian?" Cass asked softly and Lucian slid his reptilian gaze towards him.
"I’m okay. Just...centering myself to get through this. You’re okay, sweetness. Nothing you are doing is wrong. I am just trying to brace myself for the conversation we’re about to have." Lucian said, giving a tight smile. "I am more than my animal instincts, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have them. Much like how you lose control when you are in heat." Cass nodded, a deep well of understanding filling him.
Gently, Cass placed his hand on top of Lucian’s on his arm.
"Um, thank you for helping me." Cass told him carefully and Lucian’s gaze fluttered closed for a second. He took a few breaths before he bent and Cass blinked as Lucian’s lips pressed against his own in a chaste, but emotional kiss.
"You do not need to thank me for taking care of you. However, I appreciate the recognition. Thank you." Lucian pulled away, his gaze lidded as he stared at Cass’ shocked expression. He smiled slowly. "Now, let’s get back to our lesson, hmm? My sweet little fairy needs to learn more about his little womb and lady bits." He said and Cass flushed.
He glanced away from Lucian’s gaze, his stomach tight. What the fuck was that? What was he feeling right now? His heart was racing, but it wasn’t nerves. He did feel anxious though, but it was deep in his stomach.
What was going on?