Fiona’s gaze was sturdy, strong as she stared at Cass. His chest was heaving, emotions filling him. He’d worked so damn hard to not get worked up, and yet here he was.
Chest heaving like some kind of Victorian woman who was hysterical. He really shouldn’t be. He’d gotten the ’hands on’ experience that most people had read about in treatment books in his time.
"No Cass. I don’t want to live like this anymore, but I also can’t abandon my duties. I’ve come up with a plan. I’m just feeling guilty about what it means for everyone else, but I need to learn to rely on others." Fiona said. "We’ve got a big deal on our hands with the state of the rest of the world. The demons are getting bold, and we need to deal with it." Fiona said. Cass nodded slowly. He couldn’t exactly disagree with that. That was the case.
The demons were getting ballzy. What kind of idiot would think that they could get away with marrying the Saintess? One who thought that no one else would oppose it.
Cass raised his hand up to his face, running it over his face in an attempt to gather his emotions. It didn’t really work, but the repetitive motion helped him somewhat.
"So you have a plan and it heavily relies on us, I’m assuming?" Cass asked, and when he met Fiona’s gaze, she nodded. She looked...conflicted, and that only made Cass’ alarm bells ring more. "Why are you being so cagey about answering my questions, Fiona? Just be straight forward. You’ve never been this cagey before." Cass pointed out and watched as her cheeks flushed.
"Is that how you always viewed me?" She asked and Cass snorted.
"You were taken advantage of by nobles, Fiona. You aren’t exactly as sneaky as Edgar or I." Cass told her upfront, and watched her look upset for a moment before she sighed.
"No, I’m not like you or Eddie, but I...I’m worried that you won’t approve of what I think I need to do, no, what I know I need to do. The gods...the gods approve of it. Lady Ava and I have discussed it with them. I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t going against their wishes, and they approved." Cass didn’t like that one bit.
What the fuck was she planning that the gods had approved of? Those fucks only cared about themselves. They didn’t care about anyone, or anything else.
Cass shifted worriedly in his seat, staring at Fiona as she looked away from him guiltily.
"I think what’s holding me back is the fact that it’s going to impact you the most." Fiona said softly. "You weren’t...planning to always keep the fact that you’re a hero a secret, were you?" Cass felt like that question was coming out of left field and he didn’t like that feeling.
"Fiona, what are you planning to do?" Cass asked and watched as she squirmed.
"I can’t say. If I tell anyone, it’s likely not going to happen." She countered, and Cass didn’t like that. That uneasy sense filled him, and he could even feel Cassian stir inside of him. Both men were on high alert.
It was something that was going to impact everyone. She had to learn how to rely on others. It had something to do with Cass being a hero. It was going to impact him the most. Something to do with gay marriage and there was a lot of guilt involved.
Was she...going to kill his grandfather?
Cass let out a frustrated sigh. He rubbed the spot between his brows, feeling the wrinkles there and the headache that was coming on. If she was planning something like that, she really needed to give him a heads up so that he could save her ass.
"Who else knows about what you’re planning?" Cass asked and watched as she flinched. "Lady Ava, I presume?" Cass asked mildly, and Fiona looked uncomfortable as she nodded. "Anyone else?" He pestered and Fiona shook her head.
"No. Just...her. I didn’t want anyone else to know, and she knows not to tell anyone else."
"Except the gods." Cass countered and Fiona’s lips curled up bitterly.
"You know that they’re always watching." Fiona told him bitterly and Cass narrowed his gaze. Yes, those fuckers watched the worlds that they lived in like it was their version of t.v. Their favourite soap opera was on, and they had to make sure that the plot went in the direction that they wanted.
"Okay...So, whatever you have planned, the gods approve? I’m assuming that whatever this is...you aren’t coming back with us to the estate, are you? Both of you were being rather quiet when we were discussing it, and don’t think that just because Edgar was preoccupied that he didn’t notice it either." Cass told her and watched as she flinched.
She was looking so uncomfortable. Like she clearly thought she was going to get away with this before Cass held her back to speak to her. His senses had been dull because of the heat, but that didn’t mean he was an idiot.
"I...yes, that’s right." Fiona said softly. "Ava and I aren’t coming back to the estate with you."
Cass stared at the woman, trying to read her expression. He finally just sighed, shaking his head.
"Okay, so you aren’t. Are you staying in the capital?" He asked and she flinched again.
"I...I think so? I need to consult the gods about their plans going forward." Fiona said. It was a rather strange thing for her to say, especially if they had approved. Granted, they had tried to semi-control Cass at the beginning of this, and Cass had just refused to speak to him when he didn’t have to.
Fiona did not have such a luxury. She was their true hero. The one who was always meant to be a hero.
Cass narrowed his gaze as he stared at the woman who had the proper ideals to be a hero even as the world attempted to crush her heart and spirit. Despite some of her actions, he knew that she had more of an inherent good to her than Cass ever would. She hadn’t broken when the world had pushed her.
Cass was pretty sure that he had. At least a little.
He clenched his hands, letting out a heavy sigh.
"I’m going to have to find a demonic shrine." Cass told her without prompting. Fiona’s expression shifted to one of pure horror.
"What? Why?" She demanded, looking alarmed. "Is there even one in the city?" She asked, and Cass sighed.
"I would assume that there is one in every city, Fiona. I need to do it because of...personal reasons, and because of the exact same reason we had this discussion earlier. Something is going on, and there might be a chance I can get more knowledge because of my blood. They might refuse me, so who knows? I just thought someone outside of me and my head should know." Cass said and watched as Fiona looked like she was fighting herself.
It was clear that she didn’t like the idea of Cass speaking to the demons. Who would? In the original, they had spiraled. Fiona had gone off the deep end, guilt, worry and fear eating her alive after she heard the rumour that Lord Blackburn had gone to speak to the demons.
Cass couldn’t have blamed her either, since he did end up stealing the artifact that they needed to defeat the demon king. Maybe Cass wanted to tell her to see if that would change her opinion of him.
To see if the original story was still on track.
Would Fiona tell him not to? Would she still walk the path of hurting him?
"I...we can’t tell Ava that you’re speaking to the demons. She’ll want to purify the whole damn city if she found that out." Fiona muttered. "Do you need help finding it? Is that why you’re asking?" She raised her gaze, scanning Cass’ body for the first time. "Are you even in any state to be doing that? You were beat up after your last...heat. You needed medical attention. Don’t you need it this time too?" Cass stared blankly at the woman.
She had been fighting telling him what she was doing, what her plans were, but as soon as Cass told her his, she was rambling. Asking all kinds of questions, offering concern and help by the bucketful, while Cass was over here doubting her intentions and thinking she was plotting to kill someone.
He almost wanted to laugh at how different they were.
"I’m in a much better condition than I was last time. I’m rather bitter about it, honestly, but I’ll be okay. I just have a few aches and pains, but it’s nothing I need to worry about. I can just take some of the healing tonic I normally do, get some rest, and I’ll be right as rain tomorrow." Cass said. He watched as she frowned, scanning him again.
He noticed how her gaze lingered on his neck and Cass did his best not to flush but Fiona didn’t flinch. She looked truly concerned.
"Is this even the right time to do this? You’re injured, even if it is mildly, and-" Fiona stopped when she caught the look in Cass’ gaze.
"Fiona, while we’ve been dealing with our own internal issues, what have the demons, the ones we’re tasked to fight, been doing?" Cass asked her softly, and Fiona’s breath caught. She dropped her gaze in guilt to her lap. Her hands clasped each other, her fingers rubbing against each other in a nervous habit.
"They’ve clearly been up to something." Fiona spoke softly. Then she sighed heavily. "Fuck. This is bullshit." She muttered. "Why is being a hero this fucking hard?" She asked, raising her gaze to Cass. Cass felt a bitter smile touch his own lips.
"That is something I can’t answer. You’ve been one longer than I have." Cass said and Fiona groaned.
"And look where that has gotten me? They got a whole other hero to help." She didn’t even sound bitter about it. She sounded more apologetic than anything else. "Thank you for letting me know your plans. Please...please let me know when you’re going to do it. I’d like to be here to greet you when you come back. I can only imagine the things that you have witnessed there. They can’t be like our temples." Fiona said and Cass wasn’t so sure.
He had a feeling that the link between demons and gods was like the opposite sides of the same coin. They probably had a grand receiving chamber like the temple had, just underground.
"I appreciate the thought. I’ll let you know when I find out where it is, and what date I’m going." Cass told her and Fiona nodded.
He felt like he’d gained something, and lost something at the same time. What he’d lost, he wasn’t quite sure. Well, the obvious one was her shooting down his divorce without hesitation.
Cass was going to have to work on that.
He didn’t have legalise gay marriage that high on his list of things that he needed to do, but hell, he should raise it up a little bit more. He’d be happy to attend the ridiculously large wedding of Lady Ava and Fiona when it happened.
Even better if it happened before the end of the novel so he could escape from the clutches of the original story.
So what was this lingering worry in the back of his mind?