Cass didn’t have the energy to worry about if other people heard him. Honestly, it was the third fucking floor, apparently the masters of the house’s wing, so honestly? He should be fine with it.
The tree probably heard him too. Why wasn’t he feeling embarrassed about that?
Everyone...everyone did what he did. It was...natural.
Sure, maybe why he was doing it was a little...different, but that was okay. If he worried too much about how others perceived him about this, he was going to go mad and he had much more important things to worry about.
Cass finished up the meal that Sam and Byron had prepared for him, Sam bumbling around the room quietly to give him some space before Cass decided that he needed to get moving. He was setting plans in motion, he needed to actually fulfil them. His first stop, talking to the nursery tree.
It felt more like checking in with an older relative who he knew had to have been concerned about him. It was a slightly awkward, tingly feeling that made his chest feel tight, but not in a bad way. He felt more worried that he was going to be scolded like he’d done something bad. He kinda worried that the tree was going to yell at him like his sister did.
He kinda looked forward to it too, but that was an inside thought for just him.
Cass opened the door to his rooms for the first time in a while, Sam behind him and found a grinning, ear to ear, Ser Hune standing outside. She wasn’t even hiding anything as she scanned Cass, taking in his high collar shirt, soft clothes that went to the wrists, and his fresh, washed face.
Cass tried his best to remain stoic, contained, but the longer she stared at him without saying anything, the more nervous he got. Finally, he snapped.
"What?" He demanded and Ser Hune tossed her head back and laughed.
"Oh, I’m just thinking about how Deacon is going to want to wring both of their necks for leaving even one mark on you." Ser Hune reached her hand in while Cass stiffened like a board. She touched a spot on his neck, grinning like a maniac. "You weren’t able to cover one spot here, my Lord." She teased, pulling her hand back while Cass slapped his hand over the spot.
"You’re supposed to be kind enough to not point it out." Cass snapped, his face flaming as Ser Hune’s eyes lit up from within.
"Oh absolutely not! Not when it feels like my little cousin is getting caught being up to no good for the first time!" Ser Hune said joyously. "You’re going to go report to your mother tree, right? Sam, you coming or are you staying back?" Ser Hune asked, looking around Cass to speak to Sam.
Cass turned his head slightly to see Sam’s reaction. Sam smiled slightly, shaking his head.
"I’m going to follow my Lord to the basement door before going to get a meeting room ready. Then I’ll come pick you two up once that is done." He said and Cass was a little surprised to hear that, but he didn’t let it show.
Sam wasn’t coming downstairs with him? Had Sam...ever come downstairs with him? He’d had to, right? But for some reason, Cass couldn’t recall. A little startled by the thought, Cass just nodded his head.
"Smart. I have a few rooms set up from when the nobles were coming to visit, but they’re probably a little small." Cass said and Ser Hune smiled, either rather good at her poker face, or being genuine.
Cass had a feeling it was a bit of both.
"Good! Well, let’s head down. Let me know if you need some help there, my Lord. I’ve got sturdy arms, and I can even carry you down if you’d like." She winked. Cass gave her an appalled look.
"I’ve had more than my fair share of being carried down the stairs. Worst comes to worst, I can just use magic." Cass told her and Ser Hune let out a belly laugh.
"Oh, you could do that. Then, my Lord, if you’re so competent, make sure I don’t slip down the stairs too, eh?" She teased, smiling at him with a warmth that startled Cass a bit. He always knew that Ser Hune was a little...different, but this new side of her?
Was she not worried about what Cass was up to? Why everyone was so worried about him? Why he had just done what he’d done?
He didn’t think that there were fairies who had to sleep with others to remain stable. He was pretty sure it was just a demon thing, since there were certainly no humans who had to do that. His heart ached a bit, wondering if Ser Hune would treat him differently when she found out how fucked up of a creation Lord Blackburn was.
Hell, Cass felt like he was going to snap when he found out how exactly Lord Blackburn came to be. Anyone would, given how fucked up his existence was.
Cass brushed it to the side, again, bigger fish to fry, and sighed as he scanned Ser Hune.
"I can do that." Cass told her seriously, and Ser Hune let out a tinkling laugh. It washed over Cass and Sam, and Cass felt his shoulders relax. Whatever her reasons, it was nice to have someone who laughed so easily on his staff.
They turned, and began to journey down the endless stairs.
~
Cass’ legs felt like damn noodles as he reached the bottom floor, one more flight to go to the basement. That didn’t take away from the sense of satisfaction that filled him.
He’d made it down the stairs without help. A feat he could say he had not been able to do after his last heat. He was sure it was a feat that Lord Blackburn had also been unable to do after his many, many heats. He could tell because the man was inside him, slithering like a snake. Curious, watchful, and a hint of satisfaction added to his own.
He was back, and Cass felt his addition of satisfaction like a stamp of approval.
He didn’t think that the two people next to him could understand how relieved he felt, how proud he felt of himself. He’d just conquered three flights of stairs, and while he felt like his legs could wobble away from him at any moment, he couldn’t stop the stupidly big grin on his face.
He’d done it. He’d survived a heat, and managed to keep some of his dignity intact.
Ser Hune and Sam watched him, both of them had a smile on their face that they hid from Cass as Cass took several deep breaths to gather his strength. Then, the man pushed off of the banister he’d been holding onto and began to walk towards the basement stairs. Each step that brought him closer to the nursery tree shot some kind of strength up his legs, and Cass thought for a moment it was from himself, until a sneaking suspicion filled him.
The nursery tree was giving him strength.
He quickened his pace.
~
He said goodbye to Sam at the top of the stairs, Ser Hune going down before Cass just in case something happened, and Cass descended the stairs slowly and carefully. The door closed at the top once Cass reached the bottom but Cass barely registered it.
He also didn’t register that he barely saw anyone when he was moving around the giant mansion. He had a single minded focus right now, and that was to see the nursery tree. As soon as his bare feet touched the grass, it felt like a breath of fresh air.
No matter what, Cass knew he had fairy blood. That was a comforting thought.
Both Ser Hune and Cass approached the tree this time, and Cass heard the tree rustle their leaves, the sound welcoming in a way that Cass would never be able to ignore ever again. It felt like coming home.
Cass and Ser Hune reached the tree, both wrapping their arms around different parts of the trunk. It felt strangely intimate in a way he had never experienced before. Especially as both Ser Hune and Cass let out a deep, heartfelt sigh.
Cass could feel how much warmth the tree had, for both of them, as it embraced them in a way that only a tree could. Warmth, life, happiness. A bright summer’s day as the leaves rustled about in a gentle breeze. It was exactly what the doctor ordered after the chaos Cass had had over the last two weeks.
Cass could feel how the nursery tree was telling Cass that he had done a good job. He had survived to live another day, and they were so proud of him. Cass nearly cried at that, swallowing the lump back down. Cass quietly told the tree about Lord Cassian, about how he was inside of Cass and how he was grateful for all that they had done.
Something shifted in the air, but it wasn’t unpleasant. It was...thoughtful, kind in a way that made Cass’ chest feel tight, painful.
It was made all the more hard to not cry when the nursery tree spoke of Lord Blackburn, Cassian, as if he was another child. Like he was Cass’ twin, but who had been lost. That was hard to hear, hard to feel. Especially since Cass could still feel him inside of him, and how Cassian reacted to those words.
Cass felt like his insides were filling up with tears. Cassian was crying, but they weren’t sad tears. They were relieved, grateful tears. Cass poured Cassian’s words out to the nursery tree, between their bond and accepted the comfort that they offered in return.
Cass wasn’t sure how long he stayed there. It felt like it had only been five minutes, but he knew it was longer. When Cass stepped away he noticed that Ser Hune was still speaking to the tree.
Like Cass, she was surrounded by the bark of the nursery tree as soon as she touched it. To anyone who wasn’t of fairy blood, that would be incredibly alarming. Cass, however, just knew that it was a form of protection. Built over years and years of humans and other creatures attacking fairies. It was how the nursery tree protected its people.
Cass had a sneaking suspicion that was how it raised the young of the fairy people. By taking the babies into itself and keeping them alive, and Cass felt he really didn’t need clarification. His body knew it to be true.
Eventually, the tree released Ser Hune, a gentle hum in the air and Ser Hune let out a haggard sigh.
"Not yet." She muttered, more to herself than to anyone else and Cass felt his lips twitch. He wondered what hadn’t happened yet, but didn’t want to tease her too much.
He needed to save his teasing for a few other people he needed to speak to.