"Edgar, Cass didn’t choose me because he wanted to. I found out." Lucian said without any hesitation. "I found out what was wrong with Cass, saw his body, and was there when the Doctor examined him. I didn’t leave. I was the only option, because I made myself the only option." Lucian told him.
Edgar seemed shocked to hear the words, and so did Cass. He didn’t think the man would be so honest about his intentions from back then, but when Cass met his gaze, he smiled at him.
"Did you think I was going to lie? You don’t like when I hide things from you, even if you don’t like the words I have to say. I am trying my best here." Lucian said with a shrug. "It’s against my nature to tell you everything. I want to protect you from all bad things, but I am doing my best. For you." He said. Cass thought he was trying to get brownie points.
Why the fuck he would get brownie points from telling him about his own fucking body was fucking crazy. He might be getting brownie points from being honest to Edgar, though. That was to be examined further.
Edgar let out a shaky breath, glancing between Cass and Lucian.
"What...do you mean by that?" Edgar’s voice was quiet, cautious. Lucian’s face turned down in a frown and he opened his mouth, about to speak, but instead he cleared his throat. He put his hand on his hip, his hand over his mouth as he contemplated what to say. When he finally spoke, Edgar looked ill at hearing the words.
"Cass was in a terrible condition. Self inflicted. His wrists wouldn’t work, wouldn’t listen to him, he had bruises and marks all over his body. It looked like he’d rubbed parts of himself raw." Lucian’s voice sounded tense, rough. "He’d pushed his body too far, and he’d been alone. I..." Lucian let out a shuddering breath. "I can’t believe he’s been going through this on his own until now." Lucian whispered. "I had hoped that he would have hired whores, or someone at night, but when I spoke to Sam about it later, and then I beat it out of Sir Forsythe, he’s never had companions during this time of the month." That was new information to Cass.
He’d beaten it out of Sir Forsythe? That was news to him, but also, why had Sir Forsythe withheld that information? It wasn’t a big deal to Cass if it was revealed he hadn’t hired anyone at night. Hell, it was a good mark to Cass’ and Lord Blackburn’s character that he didn’t.
"Not even maids?" Edgar asked. It was kind of fucked up that they were implying he would take advantage of the people who worked for him, but then Cass remembered with a sickening feeling in his gut. Many, many nobles did that.
Cass shuddered.
"I would fucking never. They aren’t able to say no to me." Cass muttered, and both men turned to look at him, before their expressions softened.
"A good reason. The same reason why I don’t get blood from those who work for me." Edgar told him softly, and Cass blinked, surprised by that. Edgar chuckled. "Some do offer, but I tell them no. Would it be smart to get it from people who have to be loyal to me? Of course, but if a scandal breaks out, I can always say I’m trying to keep my youthful appearance. It’s always worked before." Edgar told him with a wink.
Yeah, Cass bet it did. Who in their right minds would think that the Vespertine family had a vampire demon in their family?
"Why did you beat it out of Sir Forsythe?" Cass asked, turning to Lucian, needing to know the answer. Lucian’s lips twitched.
"Well, I didn’t go after him for the answer. I was testing him, which uh, you knew." Lucian at least looked a little sheepish when Cass narrowed his gaze at him. "I needed to! There was no other way I could allow him to be around you! I’m sorry, but that’s a custom I cannot give up. I will not have weaklings guard you. He also wouldn’t tell me without violence. I said, two birds, one stone." Lucian was putting his foot down, and then his lips twitched. "Which is why I’m in such deep conflict over Sam. He’s brave, given that he still calls us by our...last names and you do not. I’m almost proud." Lucian said, and Edgar gave a chuckle.
"It’s bold, I’ll give him that." Both men seemed to chuckle, before glancing at Cass’ face. Cass’ expression was stark.
"I haven’t confronted him yet." Cass blurted and the humour left both men. "I can’t. I have too much on my plate to potentially lose another person right now." The words poured out of Cass. It felt sick to even speak the words out loud, but it also felt good. Lucian’s gaze was soft as he reached for Cass, pulling him against his chest as he hugged him.
"Sweetness. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up the dungeon." Lucian spoke softly, and Cass felt two more hands on his back.
"It’s okay. We’ll support you whatever decision you make. It’ll just mean that we’ll keep a tighter eye on Sam." Edgar’s voice was soothing, soft. Cass let out a garbled laugh.
"After. After the ball. I just...I need to believe that he’s on my side for now." Cass whispered and Lucian held him tighter. "And Edgar, I don’t like others seeing me like this." Cass spoke against Lucian’s chest, using it as a shield of some kind. He found it easier to admit this when he wasn’t looking at the man. Now that the rage was gone, all that was left were these feelings.
"You don’t like others seeing you like this?" Edgar repeated the words slowly, and Cass nodded. Edgar’s hands on Cass’ back didn’t leave, rubbing small, comforting circles on his back.
"I’m...out of control." Cass mumbled. "Lewd. Gross." Cass told him and felt a deep, disagreeing rumble from Lucian.
"In no fucking way are you gross, Cassian Blackburn. Take that back right now." Lucian’s voice was serious and Cass twitched.
"I am, though. I’ve seen what I look like. I was curious and I went to the bathroom the first time. I’m disgusting." Cass told him and Lucian rumbled louder.
"If you are disgusting when you’re like that, no one is allowed to be sexual, ever again. You’re hot, Cass. Very hot. Dangerously hot. You don’t lie when you’re like that, and you’re not shy. You go for what you want, and while you do take suggestions, you will simply ignore them if you want something else. That’s hot as hell, and it’s normal not to be attracted to yourself in those moments." Cass hated that the man was making sense.
Even if it wasn’t quite true. This wasn’t Cass, this was Cassian’s body. It would be a little less strange if he was attracted to himself, but he wasn’t. He was...turned off by his body, if he was honest.
Cassian was not his type. Hopefully Lord Blackburn didn’t get upset about that thought.
"Who told you that you are unattractive, Cass? Who said that? They had to be poisoning your view of yourself. Is it because sometimes you give a menacing smile?" Edgar asked. "That’s grown on me. I know that means trouble for someone else, not me anymore, so now it’s endearing." Cass hated that.
He didn’t want anyone to find him endearing.
"Every little thing you do is hot, sexy, endearing, any and all words to describe sexy in a good way. I don’t care what the others say, and I don’t think Eddie does either. If you still don’t want to include him, that’s fine by me, and I think now that Eddie has heard why I’m allowed he’ll be a little less hurt, but Cass...Three dicks are better then just two." Lucian whispered the last words against Cass’ ear.
Cass flushed and smacked the chest under his hands.
"We have three dicks already!" Cass hissed, but not quiet enough. Edgar cleared his throat.
"Uh, what?" Edgar asked and Cass felt his face warm.
"Uh, um-" Cass stuttered, embarrassed, while Lucian let out a belly laugh.
"I have two dicks. Should probably warn you about them before you see them. Cassy baby here has known about them for a while. Even got up close and personal with them." Lucian sounded very proud about that. Cass wanted to crawl into a hole. Cassy baby? What the fuck was that?
"Oh. Uh, is that a dragon thing?" Edgar asked casually, and Cass wanted to scream. What else would that be? Lucian laughed.
"Yes. It is a dragon thing. One is smaller than the other, but only by a bit. But, Eddie, if you join us, there is one rule everyone has to play by. Cass will probably make you sign a contract too." Cass groaned. This felt more like Lucian was dictating who Cass was sleeping with, then Cass was.
Cass didn’t open his mouth to stop him.
"A contract?" Edgar repeated, and Cass turned his head slightly to see what Edgar thought of that. He didn’t seem put off, and instead gave a slight nod of his head. "That...sounds like something Cass would do." He said, humour in his voice. His expression was light. Lighter than what Cass had expected. "I can sign a contract, no problems. What’s the rule?" Edgar asked and Cass turned his head back to Lucian’s chest.
Cass wasn’t even pulling away from Lucian’s arms, which had the man’s lips twitching upwards like crazy. Lucian was feeling mildly victorious, knowing it could all change at the drop of a hat. That was the kind of man Cass was. He could revoke his rights to be anything to him at any moment, so Lucian was savouring each moment when everything was okay.
"Cass isn’t about penetration. He wants nothing in him. Well, he might say otherwise, but that’s not true when he’s in the moment. He means it. He freaked out when I licked his ass earlier." Cass gasped.
"Lucian!" He chastised, not wanting the man to say that out loud. It was embarrassing enough that Cass remembered it, no thanks to fucking Lord Blackburn. Lucian’s expression was innocent, his big, orange eyes blinking slowly.
"What? It’s important for him to know." He was trying to be sweet, coy. Cass glared at him.
"You were just bragging." Cass said hotly and Lucian’s sweet act slipped slightly.
"So, am I allowed to do that?" Cass smacked his chest.
"NO!" He shouted, and Lucian pulled him close, pressing a kiss against his forehead. Cass grumbled, but let him tuck him against his chest again. Damn him and his fucking pillows.
"So no penetration? What if he penetrates someone else?" Edgar asked and Cass felt his face flush.
"Edgar?" Cass asked, turning his head slightly, and Edgar shrugged.
"Just covering my bases. I need to know the limits." Edgar was playing the sweet, innocent game as well. Cass felt his body tremble.
"I am not okaying that." Cass said, his voice hoarse and Edgar’s blue eyes sparkled.
"Understood, Cass. So no penetration across the board. What about blow jobs?" He asked and Cass felt his face warm. Lucian let out a loud laugh.
"He likes those." Lucian said for him and Cass flushed. "He especially likes cum, Edgar, so if you can’t keep it up, I suggest you tap out now. The man’s voracious." Lucian said fondly. Cass wanted to bury himself in the dirt.
"Can you not refer to me like that?" Cass asked softly and Lucian gave him a squeeze.
"Just warning the man. It’s a fair warning. Hard to keep up with you, Cass. Hell, I can’t. Your recovery is fucking insane." Lucian murmured. "Get someone pregnant in a fucking heartbeat too. So damn thick." Cass shivered. He should not be whispering those kinds of things to him right now. That was...against the rules.